Less Than A Month Away

In August I will be showing at "SHINE" 1400 E st in Sacramento, CA.
The show is all about dreams!  I've had this nagging thought for a little over a year now that I should do paintings about my dreams, and you know how nagging thoughts go. 
My opportunity popped up when I was part of a group show at SHINE last December. As soon as the owner offered me a solo show I knew it was God's shove to get these paintings done and out there.
If you have read this blog at all you know that I am a very strong believer in dreams being one way God speaks to us. Not every dream, mind you, some are our own voice simply hashing out the issues we face. Both types are important, and both deserve to be "heard".
My hopes for this show is that people will be inspired to pay more attention to these night time conversations.
In Joel 2:28 God promises that in the Last Days "I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions..."
We are living in the last days and dreams are being given all over the world. Don't you want to share in this awesome promise?

The Herring Chair

I have started a new dream painting based on a dream I had the night before last.
The dream was about my baby leaving home.
My daughter just graduated from high school and will be going to college in the fall away from home.

She is debating on leaving earlier to try to get a job at Disney Land. She basically grew up at Disney Land. We lived very close until she was 5, and now my parents live in Anaheim.

In the dream she was heading out to catch a boat that would take her away. The boat was about 2 miles out and people were taking rafts and paddle boards out to it. My husband got on one of the rafts and was saying goodbye to her, but I missed the raft and every other boat that was in the water. My daughter got farther and farther away and I had no way of getting to her. I looked around and found a Lazy Boy chair floating near the entrance of an alley, I got in and proceeded to paddle my way out to sea. But when I looked down my lap was full of fish. I threw the shiny silver fish out by the handfuls, but there kept being more. My attempts were futile and I finally gave up and looked down the alley where there was an area with old Sesame Street toys from my childhood. (Ones that I had saved for my daughter and that are now passed on to my sister's kids.)

The boat that was out in the water was a Ferry that was surrounded by fanciful characters and mer-people. The chair that I found was a desert mauve corduroy Lazy Boy that was my parent's chair, and the chair that I rocked my daughter to sleep on every night until she was 4. The fish in my lap were herrings. That is important to the dream's meaning because my maiden name is Herring.

"My Son's Principal" comments and conclusions.

I love when there is such great feed back!!

So I asked, "Anybody have any ideas?"
(I'm posting these because people often don't read comments, and because these have really hit home with me. Often I'll know I'm supposed to get something out of dream, but I just can't. Throwing it out to the world often allows God to use others to help. My mind has been in such a fog lately that I couldn't figure this out on my own.)
Dreams are typically personal, and are typically about something you are dealing with right then and there. In my life right now I'm dealing with a possible move that is all centered around my son's acceptance into a certain school. My son has always been the odd man out in school. He has been bullied since 2nd grade. He has been the loner, the anti-social one, the socially awkward one, the very smart one who gets all A's but then stops doing work and gets F's. It's been a rough road to say the least. Two weeks ago he auditioned for a Performing and Fine Arts school in a town 20 minutes away. We are supposed to find out soon whether or not he made it. I have been struggling for years with my son's happiness. I feel very responsible for him as all mothers do. I am hoping in an atypical school setting he will shine.
On top of this we have not had good luck house hunting in the area. We finally "settled" for a house I didn't like much, and I had told myself if he gets into the school, I'll live with that house just because it's close. But just today I handed in the cancellation papers backing out of the house because I lacked peace about it.
So, with all of that said, I'd like to share some comments I got:

(From Dani) My thoughts...I wonder though, if my reading this dream is part of its purpose, some is for me and my situation. Thanks for sharing! ... So here goes. I think this represents concern over the disparity between your expectations regarding the needs/direction of T's education and those of the education system, school, or staff. (murky like the river or a unfamiliar protocol like the line at school) You may feel that T is narrowly understood by the school/principal. In one dream the principal pointed out something that he felt was a problem, but that you did not perceive in the same way. In the other dream you communicated a need/lack of familiarity and he did not address the issue...he left. The menial tasks of motherhood and adult life (cleaning up...) take your time and attention away from attaining the details of the situation and perceiving the whole picture. You want to be able to trust the gate keepers at the school to recognize T's needs and strengths, if/when there is something to be concerned about, and when to celebrate a gifting...but there is a sense of vulnerability regarding this and you may feel tentative about trusting the input of the school. I think that the exposure of you, your home, and the tie to your childhood memories is connected to your personal investment in your child and the knowledge that this is being assessed in a somewhat calculated and linear way. Remember that sometimes what someone else sees as a 'problem' (flooding, the toppling books) may actually be a good thing (the water was clear, a story to share.) The scope of the principal's perception was very limited, take joy in the beauty and clarity of the river and the story to share with others.

(From Gary)I have never read any of your dream journals until now.. and if you don't mind..I would like to give you my thoughts on this one.. a look from a different perspective..

I see this as the worries you are having to do for the big move, packing and going through things throwing stuff away, having to decide what to keep and what to give away, what to sell, what to donate..ect..as for being in your night shirt.. that is the feeling of being in a "vulnerable" state, due to the feelings of "it is all on your shoulders to handle all this stuff" as you mentioned in your journal many different parts that would make someone feel this way.. ie, getting dropped off at a different place..not knowing the rules. The flooding is from the feeling of being "overwhelmed"

As far as Mr. Santin.. I see this as someone you are looking to/for that is an authority figure that you can trust with all the right answers to help you out and tell you how to do the move and point you in the right direction with all these unanswered questions, concerns and worries you have.. hence telling you what's wrong..(house) what you need to do..(school) and by you approaching him in your dream is why the river was murky and then now is crystal clear, because you just realize that "it is OK" to ask someone for help.

as far as the books, tapes, supplies, closet, finding old stuff, finding new stuff, cart over flowing, that is from all the things you know you are going to experience and deal with from your move. How often did you move as a child..? Think about it..

the procrastination you've been doing all week comes with the guilt you are feeling from doing so, and you are not doing good with the guilt, because it is not like you..

I could go on.. but I am tired of typing..lol I hope this might shed some light on things or maybe not..

After reading both comments and knowing my situation I think they all fit, but a little more like this:
The river, right now, is murky... (It's a decision that is only for our family {back yard}, and it's very unclear... the move and which house to choose). Perhaps being vulnerable/asking for help (I'll take your prayers please) about the decision will clear things up.
My son is the "principle" reason we are moving. His school is the deciding factor. All of things Dani said about how I feel about his present school are true, and I worry that those same issues will be around at a normal junior high if he doesn't get into the Arts school. I feel like I'm just picking up "trash" all the time with the schools we've been a part of so far (beyond just "my class"). The Arts school he may go to requires 40 hours (at least) of parent participation; I look forward to that being an artist myself. I will get to share things I love with them.

Thanks again for the feedback!

My Son's Principal

In the past two nights I have had dreams involving my son's principal - Mr. Santin. (The kids often refer to him as Mr. Satan, but he is a good guy, just firm.) I'm having a hard time figuring the dreams out... so I thought I'd put them out there and see if writing helps, or if perhaps any of you have any insight.

Yesterday's dream was of me picking up around the living room in my night shirt while Mr. Santin was working on my yard. My son was with me in the living room and when I noticed Mr. Santin outside I said to my son, "Mr. Santin is outside. Should I go talk to him? Do you think I'll be OK in just this shirt?" He didn't answer but I went ahead and walked to the sliding glass door and opened it. (The house we were in was like one that I lived in when I was a teenager mixed with my great Granny's house.) I stood in the door way and Mr. Santin came over to me. He pointed at a puddle on the cement block outside the door. "You've got some flooding," he said. I looked down and just past the cement stoop was a river that flowed through my back yard. It was not a shock to me. I actually was very happy to see the river because it was clear as crystal. In my memory I saw the river as murky and yellowy-brown, but just then it was beautiful. I could see all the way to the floor of the river; there were stones and plants lining the different levels of the river's floor. I just stood there and marveled at it, and that was the end of the dream.

In last night's dream I was going to school. I walked through a neighborhood that I have been in before in my dream world, but not in real life. (It most resembles the town of Williamston NC where I lived when I was 8, but it also has a Boston vibe.) Anyway, once I got to school I lined up with the rest of the kids on a black top next to a field. Mr. Santin and a lady teacher came out to take us to class. I started walking with the other kids but then Mr. Santin stopped me with a mean look and asked, "where are you going?" I pointed forward and he said, "Don't you know the rules? It's your turn to pick up trash." I explained how I had always been dropped off on the other side of school where the cars go until today, and it was my first time in the line. The rest of the class and Mr. Santin walked away and left me out on the field to pick up trash. I knew that I was only responsible for my class's trash which was right around where we had been standing (homework wadded up, food wrappers and scraps of food), but I went ahead and took all the time I wanted picking up all the trash around the black top and the field. When I finally wanted to stop I walked to the teacher's lounge where I knew I was supposed to get a rolling stand and some art supplies. The stand was taller than me, like the ones that TVs used to sit on top of so that the whole class could see. (When I was in elementary school the TV was on a rolling stand like that and it went from class to class because there was only one TV for everyone to share.) As I was getting the stand already loaded with the supplies I needed, I looked in a storage closet and found all kinds of 'Ramona and Beezus' tapes and books. (I never read those when I was little, but in my dream I was very excited to find them, like they had been my favorite.) They were pink and there were so many that when I stacked them on the rolling stand they kept falling off. The dream ended with me picking up the falling books over and over.

So... a meaning...
Let's break it down.
In both dreams I'm "picking up". #1 in my own living room, #2 on a school campus. Both dreams have Mr. Santin pointing out a problem to me: #1 the flooding, #2 my turn to pick up trash.

Dream #1's other things that could be symbolic: (I'll put *'s by things that seemed important)
**Me in my night shirt, and well aware of my lower half being exposed.
**Mr. Santin (as my son's principle)
*flooding
***river ... murky and then clear
*back yard: not something that everyone sees... personal.

Dream #2's other things that could be symbolic:
childhood neighborhood
*school (elementary at that)
*being new to the line (new to the rules)
**trash (school kid trash)
***taking my time... and doing more than I was supposed to... to stall.
*rolling stand/cart (again from elementary school memories)
storage closet (another thing that not everyone sees)
***tapes and books from childhood (good childhood memories, though not accurate), that I was excited to share.
overflow (unable to keep everything on the cart)

Both dreams had a climax. #1 seeing the clear river. #2 wanting to share the books and tapes.
The climax over-rode everything in the dream up until that point, and both dreams ended on the high note.
In dream #1 I had been living with a murky river in my back yard for who knows how long, but somehow going out 'exposed' to see my son's principle allowed the water to be clear. The problem of flooding was a non issue.
(I sure hope this doesn't have to do with the house I just turned down near my son's possible new school because it had some flooding issues and a bad pool.)(Maybe it's about his grades, or some principle about my son that will make things clear.)

Dream #2 seems to focus on me taking my time, even doing things I'm not supposed to be doing, and how ultimately it led to finding a treasure that I could share. (I'd like to think thats a good sign for the procrastination I've been having all week, but I'm pretty sure that's just wishful thinking.)(Perhaps it's about dealing with my son's school {new or old} looking at the 'trash', and at the tresures involved.)

Anybody have any ideas?

Worries, and Volunteering.

Last night I was up and down with the dogs all night. (Once again, I gave them some people food that didn't agree with their stomaches.) But the good part of that is that I was able to catch multiple dreams. The first I caught was at around 12:00.
I was with my friend Mitzie in a back yard (mine supposedly)of a New York town house. Bible study had just ended and we were talking about the painting I just finished for her. (A painting I really did just finish yesterday.) As we talked we got fruit off of a tree. The discussion was about things she wanted to add to the painting. She wanted to add some poppies on a hill in the background. I was a little flustered that I was no longer "done" with the painting. When we finally looked at the clock it said 3:00AM. We mentioned that she had stayed for four hours since study time. Then, as we were walking to the front door we noticed it was open. "That's not good." I was shocked and had a fleeting thought that a burglar had gotten in my house, but when I looked out the door I noticed my dad sitting on the brick stair railing that butted up against the porch. I could see people and ambulances and other 3:00AM type sights on the streets of New York around my house. My dad was looking forlorn watching and waiting. I asked what he was doing. He said, "Savannah's not home yet." (That's my 18 year old daughter.) I knew what that meant. When she did get home she would be in DEEP trouble, and her car would be taken away. The rest of the dream was just standing there looking, waiting, and thinking about where she could be. Was she in danger? Was she out with her boyfriend? hmmm.

There were two other dreams between then and morning, but all I remember from them are scattered images and a song, so I'll skip ahead to the one I had just before waking up at 6:00.

I was volunteering at a woman's shelter (probably thinking of a book I'm reading called House of Hope). I had walked through the building and then around the block. When I came around to the back door I noticed a large pile of feminine products. Someone had dropped off a donation of pads, razors, tampons, aspirin, q-tips, etc. I started gathering them into my arms, and taking them inside. A woman told me where there was a bathroom that I could stash them in. It took me a few trips but the moment I was done I was ushered into a multipurpose room with cork boards along the wall covered in construction paper with rick-rack edges ala-elementary school style. Some had things pinned to them, others were empty. There were plastic and metal chairs around the room and people started to filter inside. The pastor from my church told me to grab some things off the wall and put them away. I went to the wall and found injection viles and other types of medical looking paraphernalia. I was taking them down while Pastor Scott was having the women sit in chairs. I took the stuff outside where I assumed there would be someone to pick them up, or perhaps I was waiting for another donation. I'm not sure, but there was a litter of puppies outside that needed my care. So I started loving on them. Then I woke up.

The first dream is pretty obviously about two things I'm worried about. I want to be done with Mitzie's painting, as it has been on my to-do list for a year now. And I'm worried about my daughter getting into any furthur trouble because my husband has said the next thing to be taken away will be her car.
The second dream no doubt centers around my book. I've mentioned before that puppies in my dreams usually refer to youth. I tend to work with youth more so than with women my own age or older.

The River to Heaven

Before bed my daughter showed us a YouTube testimony of the man who spoke at the event she was at last night. He shared of his near death/actual death experience in which he was in a "river" on the way to hell. When he came back to life he was a changed man and has been prechin' about it ever since.
With that in my mind, and with various other people from my morning at church swirling around in my head, this is the dream I had:

I was in a kitchen with several people from church, and my mom. Jada (a little girl at my church)was running around the kitchen island and I was brushing the crumbs from the party onto the floor so that I could sweep them up. After I swept the kitchen (around people's feet) I took Jada and her brothers down stairs where the laundry room was. Through a window we could see a huge tidal wave coming. I told the kids that we should get back up stairs to their mommy quick! We all ran up the stairs and just as we were coming through the door at the top of the stairs, the wave hit. Instantly we were all gone, no pain, no turmoil of the wave, nothing, just all of a sudden floating down this vast river. There was water as far as I could see on either side of me. I couldn't see anyone else and I wondered if I was dead, or just in the sea after the wave. Then a light came over the horizon in front of me and flooded my vision with it's reflection on the water's surface. I was overcome with the biggest smile of my life. Then I saw a rope stretched across the expanse of the sea with square flags every few feet that had pictures of Disney princesses on them. I saw Belle on a flag that also had my name written on it. It said "Ms. Mikie Spencer" right above the bust of Belle in her yellow ball gown. (Belle is "my" princess. She is the one I look most like, and was a nickname that my ex had for me.) I passed directly under the flag of Belle and on down the river/sea. Then there was another rope with the same flags across it... and in the distance, another, and another. I had no control over the pattern that I was floating in and I was going faster and faster down the river, but I always passed directly under the Belle flag with my name on it. I got all giddy thinking about how perfect the aim of my floating was. I knew that God was guiding me. I also knew that this was the river to Heaven and that each princess picture represented another person. I could never see the end of the water to either side, and the flags were every couple of feet all the way across the water.
I woke up briefly and rolled over.
When I fell back asleep my dream had changed and I was going around asking people I knew who their favorite princess was. I was looking back in my memory to remember if I saw that princess on the rope or not.

I know there are not as many Disney princesses as there are girls going to Heaven, (in my second dream two people answered "Hermione" when I asked them who their princess was,) but this is dream language, not reality. It's obvious to me that my mind needed to think of princesses and that's all it had to pull from. They needed to be personal, and I can't think of one woman I know who doesn't have a "personal" princess. I know my daughter's princess is Sleeping Beauty. I have two friends who claim Snow White. Who do you claim?

The dream was very satisfying. The happiness (both with my smile and my giddiness) was overwhelming, but peaceful at the same time. I love dreams like that!