I have one painting done for my show in August, and many more to go.
I had a dream last night that is begging to be painted... and so it shall be.
I had a great time at church this morning. One of my favorite speakers came and he always lights a fire under my butt. He asked us to close our eyes and think of the biggest thing God could accomplish in you this year...a miracle... a goal. I had a big thought, it did not involve art, but just a message that I want to get out there. Instantly after the prayer was over my dream from last night flooded in my mind with a piece of the puzzle of the message I long to deliver. I had not even thought of using the dream painting show as a way to get the message out there... but sure enough, my dream last night, though very personal, fit right into the message.
The dream involved me and my BF from college, Ramin. He is Iranian, a Muslim by birth. I have tried calling him, writing him, etc. for two years now with no response. In my dream on a bridge, I asked him why he wouldn't hang out with me anymore, and he said, "there's too much blood under the water". I hugged him tightly and told him I loved him anyway.
There was more to the dream... like my mom walking near Ramin, but also unable to speak to him before I went to talk with him. Me sitting with my friends Vanessa and Michelle at a restaurant while my mom told me to go talk to Ramin. And before all of that me on a tram with my friend Rachel. But the only words I remember and the most profound part of the dream was on the bridge, so that is what I'll paint.
My painting will be Ramin and I on a bridge, fantasy style with a layer of water, and then blood under the water... with symbolism of Iran/Islam, and Israel/Judaism + Christianity in the blood. It'll be powerful I think. It's far bigger than Ramin not talking to me. It's the entire Middle-east conflict pictured in our interaction.
Makes me teary.
Showing posts with label High School BF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label High School BF. Show all posts
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Mice in the Kitchen, Forgotten Son, and Stuck Car.
It's been a while, I know.
My excuse (though not a good one) is that it's summer, and I have been sleeping in. I wake up so late that I don't feel like I have any time to spend typing.
For the past two nights, however, my dreams have been bad and pointed, so I thought I'd take a minute to write them down since I woke up a little early this morning.
Sunday night I had a dream that there were mice in my grandmother's kitchen. As you may remember I consider my grandmother the source of my family's spiritual legacy. When I dream of her house it is always a mansion, and typically very full. Sunday night's dream was no exception. The house was open and grand, with room for hundreds of people. I had been wandering around the first floor of the house, and came into the kitchen. There I found my dog nosing at the cabinets. I looked closer and he was killing a mouse. The mouse had on clothes (like Stuart Little). As I stood there, another mouse appeared and then another. All were dressed, but unwelcome just the same. I killed a few, and my husband killed a few. We were squishing them, halving them... whatever we could do to kill them.
As you know, the kitchen is the heart of the home, and mice are typically considered pests. I have been praying for my grandmother ever since as she has battled cancer and other ailments in the past, and her health is not the greatest even now. I can't think of any other meaning than disease in her "heart", (whether it be literal, or something like worry).
Last night's dreams were disturbing for other reasons.
In the first, I left my son alone in a crowded place, and in the second I could not get to my car.
The first dream began with my son and I walking through a flea market type environment. He was picking up all kinds of things that he wanted... mostly sweet treats, like popsicles. I showed him an area of gallons of ice cream and we talked about getting one even though we are both on a diet. (The diet was talked about repeatedly in the dream.) After we had gotten all the things he wanted I told him I would meet him back at the car and we would drive "home". I went out a back way through a warehouse guided by a worker who was hitting on me. I had four pen caps in my hand and then my back pocket. (Don't know what that was about.) When I got to the car I forgot to wait for my son. I instead drove all the way to the hotel/cabin, where my husband and daughter were already there and asleep. I went to bed, and fell asleep too. When I rolled over a little while later it dawned on me that I had forgotten my son. I panicked, and stumbled to the car still half asleep. I thought about the fact that I was too sleepy to drive. Then I thought about my phone battery. I looked down to see multiple missed calls from my son and even a very sad picture he had taken of himself. I also saw that my battery was in the red zone. I panicked more. Oh no! How am I going to get a hold of him? How is he going to call me? I ran back into the cabin to get my husband's phone, all the while thinking "what if my son's battery is almost dead?" I woke myself up with all the panic.
I went back to sleep after a quick pee brake. The next dream was better, but still bad.
I was with my two best friends from high school; we had been at some event and were now walking back to my car. We got to the parking garage and could not find my car. Then we found a hole in the back of the car garage down to another level of cars. I could see my car on the lower level. The cars were crammed together like sardines with absolutely no room to drive them out. There wasn't even a ramp to get them out of the hole. I jumped down the hole onto the hood of another car and walked around on car hoods to see if I could figure out something. Realizing that this was a towing company I deducted that the cars had been lowered down with a crane. So my friends and I went to find the owner. I found a worker sitting in a shack out in a dusty yard, feet up, talking on the phone. I asked if he could help me. He was very rude and denied me help. He mentioned the owner, pointed him out, and said he was busy too. No one would be able to help us. It was extremely frustrating. The dream ended in frustration after minutes of trying to get the owner's attention.
Meanings? Well, I think that the diet talk and the fact that all of our purchases were food items not on our diet, speaks to what the dream with my son was about. I have nearly reached my goal weight and my days of dieting will soon be over... or so I hope. (Even the worker hitting on me speaks of where I'm at in my weight.) My son is just now starting his weight loss journey (this time around). I think that the dream is reminding me not to leave him behind. Not to go back and "sleep" with my skinny daughter and husband. The world offers many temptations that I can't just say, "that's not on our diet, but just this once we could get it"; (which are the kinds of things I was saying in the dream).
Personal cars in dreams typically speak about your personal life. I don't particularly like the idea of my life stuck underground without having the ways and means of getting it out myself. I do like that my best friends are with me the whole time. I really don't have other thoughts about the meaning of that dream.
My excuse (though not a good one) is that it's summer, and I have been sleeping in. I wake up so late that I don't feel like I have any time to spend typing.
For the past two nights, however, my dreams have been bad and pointed, so I thought I'd take a minute to write them down since I woke up a little early this morning.
Sunday night I had a dream that there were mice in my grandmother's kitchen. As you may remember I consider my grandmother the source of my family's spiritual legacy. When I dream of her house it is always a mansion, and typically very full. Sunday night's dream was no exception. The house was open and grand, with room for hundreds of people. I had been wandering around the first floor of the house, and came into the kitchen. There I found my dog nosing at the cabinets. I looked closer and he was killing a mouse. The mouse had on clothes (like Stuart Little). As I stood there, another mouse appeared and then another. All were dressed, but unwelcome just the same. I killed a few, and my husband killed a few. We were squishing them, halving them... whatever we could do to kill them.
As you know, the kitchen is the heart of the home, and mice are typically considered pests. I have been praying for my grandmother ever since as she has battled cancer and other ailments in the past, and her health is not the greatest even now. I can't think of any other meaning than disease in her "heart", (whether it be literal, or something like worry).
Last night's dreams were disturbing for other reasons.
In the first, I left my son alone in a crowded place, and in the second I could not get to my car.
The first dream began with my son and I walking through a flea market type environment. He was picking up all kinds of things that he wanted... mostly sweet treats, like popsicles. I showed him an area of gallons of ice cream and we talked about getting one even though we are both on a diet. (The diet was talked about repeatedly in the dream.) After we had gotten all the things he wanted I told him I would meet him back at the car and we would drive "home". I went out a back way through a warehouse guided by a worker who was hitting on me. I had four pen caps in my hand and then my back pocket. (Don't know what that was about.) When I got to the car I forgot to wait for my son. I instead drove all the way to the hotel/cabin, where my husband and daughter were already there and asleep. I went to bed, and fell asleep too. When I rolled over a little while later it dawned on me that I had forgotten my son. I panicked, and stumbled to the car still half asleep. I thought about the fact that I was too sleepy to drive. Then I thought about my phone battery. I looked down to see multiple missed calls from my son and even a very sad picture he had taken of himself. I also saw that my battery was in the red zone. I panicked more. Oh no! How am I going to get a hold of him? How is he going to call me? I ran back into the cabin to get my husband's phone, all the while thinking "what if my son's battery is almost dead?" I woke myself up with all the panic.
I went back to sleep after a quick pee brake. The next dream was better, but still bad.
I was with my two best friends from high school; we had been at some event and were now walking back to my car. We got to the parking garage and could not find my car. Then we found a hole in the back of the car garage down to another level of cars. I could see my car on the lower level. The cars were crammed together like sardines with absolutely no room to drive them out. There wasn't even a ramp to get them out of the hole. I jumped down the hole onto the hood of another car and walked around on car hoods to see if I could figure out something. Realizing that this was a towing company I deducted that the cars had been lowered down with a crane. So my friends and I went to find the owner. I found a worker sitting in a shack out in a dusty yard, feet up, talking on the phone. I asked if he could help me. He was very rude and denied me help. He mentioned the owner, pointed him out, and said he was busy too. No one would be able to help us. It was extremely frustrating. The dream ended in frustration after minutes of trying to get the owner's attention.
Meanings? Well, I think that the diet talk and the fact that all of our purchases were food items not on our diet, speaks to what the dream with my son was about. I have nearly reached my goal weight and my days of dieting will soon be over... or so I hope. (Even the worker hitting on me speaks of where I'm at in my weight.) My son is just now starting his weight loss journey (this time around). I think that the dream is reminding me not to leave him behind. Not to go back and "sleep" with my skinny daughter and husband. The world offers many temptations that I can't just say, "that's not on our diet, but just this once we could get it"; (which are the kinds of things I was saying in the dream).
Personal cars in dreams typically speak about your personal life. I don't particularly like the idea of my life stuck underground without having the ways and means of getting it out myself. I do like that my best friends are with me the whole time. I really don't have other thoughts about the meaning of that dream.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
"JJ's RV Jet", and "BFs Visit"
Two quite interesting dreams last night, very unlike any I've had for a while.
The first started on a private jet owned be my nephew in-law (highly unlikely). The jet was gutted and the inside looked like an RV. My nephew (JJ) was piloting and I was in back with my niece and her four girls, and 5 puppies. (Her dog had puppies back in January, and the last one was given away less than a month ago, so that's fresh in my mind.) We landed in a field that was partially dirt, partially grass, and looked like a camping area. There was another family nearby at a group of picnic tables. I played with the girls and the puppies for a while and then moved away from the jet towards the picnic table. My niece and her husband were dancing by a table and singing to some country music (again, highly unlikely) as if they were at a hoedown. I was very happy to see them so happy, but then I thought about the puppies. They were over near the jet unsupervised. I walked over there and some had wondered near the street and some were playing right where we left them. My dog Knuckles was there with them. He was done 'puppy-sitting'. We gathered up the puppies and I counted them as we boarded. Knuckles jumped up to sit in the co-pilot seat, and I can't remember for sure, but I think I got up to pilot this time.
The scene changed and we were at a stadium. We were walking up to our seats and about to watch a movie. I think it was "The Rescuers", (with the mice and the orphan 'Penny'.) All four girls, my niece, and JJ were sitting down and I was carrying popcorn etc. to the seats. (Maybe this is because I have been talking about taking them to a movie lately.)
In the next dream I was back with my two BFs from high school, Vanessa and Michelle. (In real life I just returned from a visit with them at Michelle's parents house in Maryland.) We were arriving at Michelle's parent's house again, even though in the dream it looked a little different. It resembled a doll house (which it kinda does in real life too). I had to go to the bathroom but each bathroom I went in had flushing problems, noted by paper still in the bowl, which I tried to flush with no luck. So I didn't want to add to the problem.
Everyone was getting ready to go out to eat, so I just decided I would go to the restroom at the restaurant. Vanessa, and I walked down to a ballroom that was attached to the hotel that we were now in somehow. and Michelle and her mom went on to see if our reservations at the restaurant were ready.
The ball room was set up with long banquet tables at one side and a huge dance floor in the middle. We went ahead and took a seat at a table with two other older men. Food started coming out and since we were hungry we started to eat. After a course or two, Michelle and her mother came in to get us to go to the restaurant. We said we would rather stay there since we had already started and also wouldn't have to walk any further. After a little protesting they stayed. Michelle had on a trench coat over a pink sequined gown that had a huge slit up the front. Vanessa was wearing purple, and I'm not sure what I was wearing as the dream was seen in first person. All three of us danced like little girls playing "princess" across the dance floor holding hands with Michelle in a circle. And that was all.
As for meaning...
Modes of transportation (as we've talked about before) symbolize life direction and circles of influence. For instance, bicycles are about the individual who's riding them and no one else. Family cars (especially with family in them) are about the driver's influence over their family circle. Buses deal with bigger sphere's of influence, trains and planes bigger still. It's important to note if you are a passenger or the driver.
In my first dream JJ was driving a private jet. A private jet, though small in influence is still different than a car. It's flying, not driving. The significance of that could be about soaring over obstacles, or being "above" in some way. It's a good thing though. The dancing that they were doing was good too, but both good things (jet and country music) were very unlike my niece and nephew. Perhaps it's saying something about them acting out of character in a good way soon. I don't know, but I was happy to see that I'm along for the ride.
My second dream, having to go to the bathroom (a typical theme for me) but not being able to because of "obstacles", could speak about not being able to say all that I wanted to say to my friend Michelle while we were there. We did talk about everything, but sometimes I couldn't think of words that would convey all I wanted to say. The "obstacle" present was a difference in our walks of faith. The day that Michelle left and it was just Vanessa and I for an evening we had a good talk and prayer about our individual (and joint) walks of faith. I imagine that is why Vanessa and I went to the ballroom and Michelle and her mom went to the restaurant in the dream. The good news is that Michelle later joined us in the ballroom and we danced like little girls. The trench coat she was wearing still signifies hiding in some way... Hiding a revealing but beautiful pink sequined gown. (As teens, pink was Michelle's favorite color.)
The first started on a private jet owned be my nephew in-law (highly unlikely). The jet was gutted and the inside looked like an RV. My nephew (JJ) was piloting and I was in back with my niece and her four girls, and 5 puppies. (Her dog had puppies back in January, and the last one was given away less than a month ago, so that's fresh in my mind.) We landed in a field that was partially dirt, partially grass, and looked like a camping area. There was another family nearby at a group of picnic tables. I played with the girls and the puppies for a while and then moved away from the jet towards the picnic table. My niece and her husband were dancing by a table and singing to some country music (again, highly unlikely) as if they were at a hoedown. I was very happy to see them so happy, but then I thought about the puppies. They were over near the jet unsupervised. I walked over there and some had wondered near the street and some were playing right where we left them. My dog Knuckles was there with them. He was done 'puppy-sitting'. We gathered up the puppies and I counted them as we boarded. Knuckles jumped up to sit in the co-pilot seat, and I can't remember for sure, but I think I got up to pilot this time.
The scene changed and we were at a stadium. We were walking up to our seats and about to watch a movie. I think it was "The Rescuers", (with the mice and the orphan 'Penny'.) All four girls, my niece, and JJ were sitting down and I was carrying popcorn etc. to the seats. (Maybe this is because I have been talking about taking them to a movie lately.)
In the next dream I was back with my two BFs from high school, Vanessa and Michelle. (In real life I just returned from a visit with them at Michelle's parents house in Maryland.) We were arriving at Michelle's parent's house again, even though in the dream it looked a little different. It resembled a doll house (which it kinda does in real life too). I had to go to the bathroom but each bathroom I went in had flushing problems, noted by paper still in the bowl, which I tried to flush with no luck. So I didn't want to add to the problem.
Everyone was getting ready to go out to eat, so I just decided I would go to the restroom at the restaurant. Vanessa, and I walked down to a ballroom that was attached to the hotel that we were now in somehow. and Michelle and her mom went on to see if our reservations at the restaurant were ready.
The ball room was set up with long banquet tables at one side and a huge dance floor in the middle. We went ahead and took a seat at a table with two other older men. Food started coming out and since we were hungry we started to eat. After a course or two, Michelle and her mother came in to get us to go to the restaurant. We said we would rather stay there since we had already started and also wouldn't have to walk any further. After a little protesting they stayed. Michelle had on a trench coat over a pink sequined gown that had a huge slit up the front. Vanessa was wearing purple, and I'm not sure what I was wearing as the dream was seen in first person. All three of us danced like little girls playing "princess" across the dance floor holding hands with Michelle in a circle. And that was all.
As for meaning...
Modes of transportation (as we've talked about before) symbolize life direction and circles of influence. For instance, bicycles are about the individual who's riding them and no one else. Family cars (especially with family in them) are about the driver's influence over their family circle. Buses deal with bigger sphere's of influence, trains and planes bigger still. It's important to note if you are a passenger or the driver.
In my first dream JJ was driving a private jet. A private jet, though small in influence is still different than a car. It's flying, not driving. The significance of that could be about soaring over obstacles, or being "above" in some way. It's a good thing though. The dancing that they were doing was good too, but both good things (jet and country music) were very unlike my niece and nephew. Perhaps it's saying something about them acting out of character in a good way soon. I don't know, but I was happy to see that I'm along for the ride.
My second dream, having to go to the bathroom (a typical theme for me) but not being able to because of "obstacles", could speak about not being able to say all that I wanted to say to my friend Michelle while we were there. We did talk about everything, but sometimes I couldn't think of words that would convey all I wanted to say. The "obstacle" present was a difference in our walks of faith. The day that Michelle left and it was just Vanessa and I for an evening we had a good talk and prayer about our individual (and joint) walks of faith. I imagine that is why Vanessa and I went to the ballroom and Michelle and her mom went to the restaurant in the dream. The good news is that Michelle later joined us in the ballroom and we danced like little girls. The trench coat she was wearing still signifies hiding in some way... Hiding a revealing but beautiful pink sequined gown. (As teens, pink was Michelle's favorite color.)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
BFF in Class, and Katie Perry Land
I enjoyed last night's dream. It was one of those where you feel like you're really with the person, and then it turned into one of those that was like Disneyland. So all in all a great sleep.
The beginning was in a class room setting... this time with tables, not desks. I was near the front of the room and to the right. I had to change seats for some reason. As the class was filing in and the (female) teacher was talking about something, I got up and went to a room across our room to the left. I didn't walk through a hall, just through a door into the next classroom. In there was my very best friend from elementary and high-school, Vanessa. (I will be visiting her in just a couple of weeks, so she has been on my mind.) She had a small file box (note card size) in her hand and was thumbing through it. I walked over to her near the far left back of the room by a counter top. She presented the purple file box. After she opened it, she began reading off a little questionnaire/game that she had made with Trivia questions about her brother Nathan. Then she showed me other sections that included a play list of all our favorite songs from back in the day, and images from our past, movies, etc. It was an amazing compilation she had put together. I even commented that I had made a play list that wasn't half as good. She had dug deep into "b-sides" so-to-speak, not just taken the obvious songs. I was very happy to be able to reminisce with her. Then the teacher for her class came in and noticed me in that back. She gave me a bad look because I wasn't supposed to be in there, so I walked back across the room and into my class.
The dream changed and I was on a ride at an amusement park. The ride was just like the old ride at Disney land called "Rocket Rods". (The one that took over the monorail track back in the 90's.) Instead of being rockets the ride was convertible cars that looked like rounded cartoon 50's cars. They were covered with rainbow, star, cloud, and candy stickers. The car ahead of me was baby blue and held two middle aged men who were enjoying the ride very much. The music that played was Katie Perry's "Firework". (I heard the song yesterday when I was out with my niece. It was playing in a pale lemon yellow convertible that was driving in front of us.) The park around the ride looked like candy land. (Very Katie Perry.)
It was a very fun dream, despite the bad looks from the teacher.
I'm wondering if I should make a little file box of memories for my visit with Vanessa... or perhaps she will. :-)
The beginning was in a class room setting... this time with tables, not desks. I was near the front of the room and to the right. I had to change seats for some reason. As the class was filing in and the (female) teacher was talking about something, I got up and went to a room across our room to the left. I didn't walk through a hall, just through a door into the next classroom. In there was my very best friend from elementary and high-school, Vanessa. (I will be visiting her in just a couple of weeks, so she has been on my mind.) She had a small file box (note card size) in her hand and was thumbing through it. I walked over to her near the far left back of the room by a counter top. She presented the purple file box. After she opened it, she began reading off a little questionnaire/game that she had made with Trivia questions about her brother Nathan. Then she showed me other sections that included a play list of all our favorite songs from back in the day, and images from our past, movies, etc. It was an amazing compilation she had put together. I even commented that I had made a play list that wasn't half as good. She had dug deep into "b-sides" so-to-speak, not just taken the obvious songs. I was very happy to be able to reminisce with her. Then the teacher for her class came in and noticed me in that back. She gave me a bad look because I wasn't supposed to be in there, so I walked back across the room and into my class.
The dream changed and I was on a ride at an amusement park. The ride was just like the old ride at Disney land called "Rocket Rods". (The one that took over the monorail track back in the 90's.) Instead of being rockets the ride was convertible cars that looked like rounded cartoon 50's cars. They were covered with rainbow, star, cloud, and candy stickers. The car ahead of me was baby blue and held two middle aged men who were enjoying the ride very much. The music that played was Katie Perry's "Firework". (I heard the song yesterday when I was out with my niece. It was playing in a pale lemon yellow convertible that was driving in front of us.) The park around the ride looked like candy land. (Very Katie Perry.)
It was a very fun dream, despite the bad looks from the teacher.
I'm wondering if I should make a little file box of memories for my visit with Vanessa... or perhaps she will. :-)
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Trains... no planes... no automobiles
A few more disturbing dreams.
First one:
I'm driving a train along open, sometimes cavernous, terrain. (at least I think I'm driving; I guess I could have been poking my head out of a back area.) There is another train and driver in front of me (or if I'm wrong, it's the real driver of my train). The driver of the first train is crazy. He's a skinny mountain man like you'd picture from the gold rush of 49. He seems intent on crashing. At the finally of the dream a rocking horse/boulder is sliding on a cable directly to the left of the on coming train. I'm watching, thinking, "It's going to hit!" And the Gold miner dude is watching it and getting excited, "wahoo!". On impact, I woke up.
Second one:
I'm in a large store like Macys with my friends (my BF from High School, and three more from now-a-days).
We're looking at cosmetics and there's a serum that says it smooths out your thighs. It's in a tiny vial and very expensive. Everybody says to walk away, but I'm interested. I watch a small demo of the product (I guess on a screen). It shows John Cougar's model wife (don't remember her name) rubbing the cream... that now looks like foundation, over her butt and thighs with multiple tattoos, making them all disappear. I think,"well, shoot, it's only good for one use. Once you get in the water, that's gone." Then I wonder what it actually does for cellulite etc. cause she doesn't have any to start with. On the demo, her butt and legs(which is all you see now) turn into an old lady's butt and legs... naked. She's laying on her belly and slowly her legs disappear and her butt starts to look like the butt of a turkey before it's cooked... but wrinkly.
I walk away. My friends and I all go out to a train station. We are waiting a long time for the train and we all have lots of bags. I start to day dream about something and actually doze off. Minutes later my friends are calling for me from the train which is about half a block down the road on the platform. I rush to gather the small amount of stuff they've left for me to carry. (A hat box with some socks and shoes, and other pieces of laundry.) I start running and the train starts up. Still running and the train starts moving. "Oh NO!" I start taking huge (supernatural) steps and catch up with the front of the train... which is more like a subway train. I plaster myself to the train and try to scoot around the right side to get to the doors. The conductor puts her head out and says my name with alarm. She opens a door for me and (after dropping most of what I had) I get in.
..and that was the end.
Third one:
Was at my 6th grade house with my family and my Pawpaw (granddad on my dad's side). I started in my parent's room and then went through our swinging doors to the kitchen to look for food. Pawpaw came too and was looking for food as well.
That's about all I remember about that.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
"notes, prayers and conferences"
Last night was like dream central.
But, I only remember the last one.
I was at my best friend from childhood's house in a room with her mom and siblings. We were all talking, then Vanessa (my BF) pulled me into her room to look through some old notes. Her little sister Anne came in with some drawings she had done for me. (Anne is now totally grown up, but in my dream she was very little like I remember her.) I wanted to look at our notes, but Anne kept putting crayon pictures under my nose. There was a brass bed and white vanity in the room, all very girly.
Then I walked outside and on to a crowded Italian street. (We lived in Italy when I was a teenager. Vanessa lived there with me. We were both Air Force brats.) Vanessa was no longer part of the dream but other people from high school were popping up all over. I was headed up a set of stairs (ala Venice) and there were a few old friends heading down. I turned to follow them.
My ex-boyfriend Shane was walking with the group, along with his friends Kevin and Jay. Shane started to pray. I listened very intently (they didn't know I could hear). I was overjoyed at the sincerity of his prayer. Then Kevin prayed, his was a little less, but satisfied me none-the-less. Then Jay prayed and made a big joke of it; saying, "God, did you see the bunch of $#&*$% nerds up there..." then faded into a laugh. Shane prayed again, and I continued following them into a sanctuary. Shane's sister was there, along with many many other familiar faces, and some non familiar faces.
I tried to find a seat, but no one would let me sit near them. I turned, and my husband was with me, so I took his hand and headed for the front. Towards the end I slid down the aisle on my butt and said, "weee". He was embarrassed.
We sat down and realized that the event was a John Bevere marriage conference.
The big screen came on and played a promo for what we were about to see. The advertisement started with a very boring lecture snapshot and a snapshot of an audience member yawning. Then it cut to John Bevere speaking in his overly zealous way, bouncing around stage. The voice-over said something to the effect of "you won't be bored here".
Then to my right I saw one of John's traveling companions talking to the lady seated by her. The two women were slightly up in the tiered seating. She said, "well usually you won't be bored. I don't know what went wrong at our last conference; there wasn't much response."
...I woke up questioning the validity of the conference.
Perhaps the John Bevere part was suppose to remind me to take some DVDs to my pastor's wife today. I forgot anyway.
I'm hoping that Shane praying sincerely was a window into reality. I've been waiting for decades for him to take God seriously. Not to say that he doesn't in a small way, but not in a "change your life" kind of way.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Entertainment
I imagine this will be normal posting time. I just got home from taking the kids to school. I highly doubt I'll be up early enough to write and get them ready very often.
I had three dreams again last night (that I remember).
The first was simply me going to spend the night at my high school BF's house. Her dad who is now passed away (lung cancer) was outside sweeping the walk way. I walked on the flower bed to avoid him, but then tracked dirt on the area closest to the door. He gave me a disappointed look, and that was the end of that dream.
Before I tell you my next dream, it's important to know that I went to see the movie "The Book of Eli" yesterday. It's important because very often the entertainment you put into your head will show up in your dreams. That's one reason I never watch horror movies. If you want your dreams to be truly untainted, you'd have to go without movies, TV, video games, etc. The good news is, even with tainted dreams there are still messages to be discovered.
So, knowing that I went to see "Eli" I'm OK with what happens in this dream.
I'm walking down a street in a bad part of town with my son. I look into a shop that belongs to my friends Gregory and Kookye. (The shop reminds me of the shop in the movie.) (They really did own a consignment store at one point, so that makes sense. Plus Kookye was the last person I got an email from yesterday, so she was on my mind.) I went on ahead down the street, but my son wanted to stay and play with their daughter (really they have a son). He stayed and I walked on. Later, I walked back to their shop and it was in much better condition and everything was neatly put away. In a back room my friend Megan (also Kookye's friend) was wrapping presents with other ladies. Her husband Curt came up to me and started showing me his "LUSH" products. I explained to him that I had some LUSH stuff at home. I use their Godiva shampoo. So he offered me a few bath bombs for free. Then one of the ladies wrapping took me to another back room with a Christmas tree in it and toys under the tree. She offered me a plush Tigger for my son. I thought it would be bad to break up the set (they had Pooh and Eeyore and all the rest), but she insisted and I took him.
Then I asked where the restroom was (a very common theme for me obviously). The potty was in a long hallway; girls on one end, boys on the other, but completely open. As I sat there a small Asian man came up to me from down the hall. I got very mad at him for invading my privacy, so I got up and started a knife fight. Many more men and boys joined the fight and by now I was on their end of the hall. The boys were all chubby. I asked, "Do you wanna know what fat looks like?" then I cut (with my small pocket knife) each one of them in their bare bellies (little 3-5" cuts, but deep enough to see the layer of fat).
Like I said, I'm OK with this, cause I know the slashing of bodies came from the movie yesterday. But I find it interesting that they were chubby and that my one memorable line had to do with fat.
Both my son and I are about 30 pounds overweight and can't seem to motivate ourselves to loose the weight.
My third dream was a camping trip with old high school friends and my parents. (My dad pastored the youth during my childhood, so that's not a strange scenario.) People I remember in the dream were Amy, Jodie, Christie, and my BF Vanessa. Near the beginning of the dream the girls were are crowded around a dimly lit mirror getting ready. We were leaving that day. The camp was beach side, and some how we went, with our suitcases and sleeping bags, out onto floating (10' in diameter) burlap sand bags. My mom tipped them over looking for a flatter side for us to walk on, but they all sank. So we were swimming with suitcases and sleeping bags trying to pull up the floaties. Finally we swam to next section of floating structures which is a giant round white with a red bulls-eye inflatable. There are people sitting on edge and walking on top, we bounce onto the inflatable. I start to wonder if people will fall, so we stop bouncing and walk across. We get in the car (my Durango) and head off. On the road the water comes right up to the asphalt. My mom is driving and she keeps veering into the water. I point it out to her, as well as pointing out the harbor in the distance, and a paradise looking place where two girls are swimming with swans and weeping willows are planted in the water. I want to go there, but we have to get everyone home. We start to discuss who to take home first according to the order of their houses. Vanessa lives closest to me, Amy lives furthest, etc.
I'm not going to take any time time today looking deeper cause I have to go paint at my friend Kim's house. Maybe you can try and decode something for me. :-)
I had three dreams again last night (that I remember).
The first was simply me going to spend the night at my high school BF's house. Her dad who is now passed away (lung cancer) was outside sweeping the walk way. I walked on the flower bed to avoid him, but then tracked dirt on the area closest to the door. He gave me a disappointed look, and that was the end of that dream.
Before I tell you my next dream, it's important to know that I went to see the movie "The Book of Eli" yesterday. It's important because very often the entertainment you put into your head will show up in your dreams. That's one reason I never watch horror movies. If you want your dreams to be truly untainted, you'd have to go without movies, TV, video games, etc. The good news is, even with tainted dreams there are still messages to be discovered.
So, knowing that I went to see "Eli" I'm OK with what happens in this dream.
I'm walking down a street in a bad part of town with my son. I look into a shop that belongs to my friends Gregory and Kookye. (The shop reminds me of the shop in the movie.) (They really did own a consignment store at one point, so that makes sense. Plus Kookye was the last person I got an email from yesterday, so she was on my mind.) I went on ahead down the street, but my son wanted to stay and play with their daughter (really they have a son). He stayed and I walked on. Later, I walked back to their shop and it was in much better condition and everything was neatly put away. In a back room my friend Megan (also Kookye's friend) was wrapping presents with other ladies. Her husband Curt came up to me and started showing me his "LUSH" products. I explained to him that I had some LUSH stuff at home. I use their Godiva shampoo. So he offered me a few bath bombs for free. Then one of the ladies wrapping took me to another back room with a Christmas tree in it and toys under the tree. She offered me a plush Tigger for my son. I thought it would be bad to break up the set (they had Pooh and Eeyore and all the rest), but she insisted and I took him.
Then I asked where the restroom was (a very common theme for me obviously). The potty was in a long hallway; girls on one end, boys on the other, but completely open. As I sat there a small Asian man came up to me from down the hall. I got very mad at him for invading my privacy, so I got up and started a knife fight. Many more men and boys joined the fight and by now I was on their end of the hall. The boys were all chubby. I asked, "Do you wanna know what fat looks like?" then I cut (with my small pocket knife) each one of them in their bare bellies (little 3-5" cuts, but deep enough to see the layer of fat).
Like I said, I'm OK with this, cause I know the slashing of bodies came from the movie yesterday. But I find it interesting that they were chubby and that my one memorable line had to do with fat.
Both my son and I are about 30 pounds overweight and can't seem to motivate ourselves to loose the weight.
My third dream was a camping trip with old high school friends and my parents. (My dad pastored the youth during my childhood, so that's not a strange scenario.) People I remember in the dream were Amy, Jodie, Christie, and my BF Vanessa. Near the beginning of the dream the girls were are crowded around a dimly lit mirror getting ready. We were leaving that day. The camp was beach side, and some how we went, with our suitcases and sleeping bags, out onto floating (10' in diameter) burlap sand bags. My mom tipped them over looking for a flatter side for us to walk on, but they all sank. So we were swimming with suitcases and sleeping bags trying to pull up the floaties. Finally we swam to next section of floating structures which is a giant round white with a red bulls-eye inflatable. There are people sitting on edge and walking on top, we bounce onto the inflatable. I start to wonder if people will fall, so we stop bouncing and walk across. We get in the car (my Durango) and head off. On the road the water comes right up to the asphalt. My mom is driving and she keeps veering into the water. I point it out to her, as well as pointing out the harbor in the distance, and a paradise looking place where two girls are swimming with swans and weeping willows are planted in the water. I want to go there, but we have to get everyone home. We start to discuss who to take home first according to the order of their houses. Vanessa lives closest to me, Amy lives furthest, etc.
I'm not going to take any time time today looking deeper cause I have to go paint at my friend Kim's house. Maybe you can try and decode something for me. :-)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
My ex who lived in Tex(as)
I'm almost embarrassed that this happened already. Two things really. Number one that I dreamed of my ex, and two, that I was over confident that I would remember it all. I woke up in the middle on the night with the dream very fresh, and talked myself out of writing it down, cause I was sure I'd remember it. But, as luck would have it, I woke up with only a few details of that dream and nothing from any that might have followed.
All I can remember is that we were swimming in a lake. (I think we even had life vests). At the beginning of the dream we were in a house with stairs and his wife was there. We all talked. Then I took him away. The swimming was part of something with my extended family, namely my Dad and his parents. Later in the dream I was in a room at my grandparent's house with my husband. My best two high school girlfriends came to get me. I began to pack a suitcase. But somehow ended up hiding in another room in a pile of clothes/blankets on the side of a bed, from my dad, (who found me).
In deciphering any of this, it may be helpful to know that my dad is a preacher, and so is his Dad (Pawpaw). I attribute our legacy of faith more to my grandmother though. But either way you look at it, I have come to always assume a spiritual meaning when I'm at my grandparent's house in dreams. In every dream of their house it is a mansion; sometimes with a business going on inside, and other times with many bedrooms for guests. I'd like to conclude that the guests of their house have become a part of their legacy. But that's just a desire of mine, I'm not sure if it's right.
Anyway, the part about my two high school friends, I imagine, is just me looking forward to our 'girl's weekend' coming up in March. They both live in other states, so it is very rare that I see them, outside of Facebook. :-)
Hiding in the blankets on the side of the bed instantly reminds me of how I wake up many mornings. You see, my dog Knuckles sleeps in blankets right beside my bed and often whines for me to join him. Which, being the pushover that I am, I often do. So we can assume that I was hiding in a "dog's" bed from my father (who often represents my view of my heavenly father... and we all know you can't hide from Him).
I'd like to say that interactions with my ex during the dream were purely innocent, but often in my dreams there is still a spark between us. It is encouraging though, to know that often what may seem to have sexual undertones (or overtones) in dreams really has nothing to do with sex. It's often just symbolic of intimacy in talking, or in a common interest. In many of my dreams that involve him, our daughter is present, but in this one she wasn't. However, I'd like to point out that his wife was there, and had no problem with me taking him. That in itself says that this was probably an innocent interaction.
I know we didn't make a complete interpretation, but completion is not always necessary. (Plus I don't have all the other bits and pieces.) I think, for me today, it's enough to know that even in my subconscious I honor his wife, and that if I hide, God sees me anyway.
I also wanted to point out that I don't believe this dream was divine in nature. There are self dreams and God dreams, and some that mix both. Even though this dream had God elements, I don't think it was from Him. I think it was just my own brain working out some issues.
When I have "God dreams" they are typically very vivid in color and clear. Those are the ones to pay attention to! That's not to say that self dreams can't be helpful. They often reveal a lot about the issues you are struggling with, or excited over, or even the ones you are avoiding.
My last comment is to my 'comments'
Thank you all for leaving them.
1. As for remembering dreams, pray or self talk to yourself that you will remember, that often works.
2. Yes, personal symbolism is the key... which leads me to...
3. Dream dictionaries can be helpful, but hardly dependable, because symbolism is so very personal. (personal culture, religion, family dynamics, fears, etc. all taint words for us, so that they don't mean the same to each person.) Unless an interpreter is listening to God (or to a demon in many cases) their interpretation will be based on their own symbolism, or will be very general. Demonic interpretation may have elements of truth, but it will not be with your benefit in mind. Most profitable new-age dream interpreters have tapped in to evil spirits. With that said, no, I don't think I will be using the suggested web site. (Maybe I will, to prove my generalization point at some time.) The best way to interpret dreams is to know yourself and what things mean to you. (Of course, I'd add prayer too.)
All I can remember is that we were swimming in a lake. (I think we even had life vests). At the beginning of the dream we were in a house with stairs and his wife was there. We all talked. Then I took him away. The swimming was part of something with my extended family, namely my Dad and his parents. Later in the dream I was in a room at my grandparent's house with my husband. My best two high school girlfriends came to get me. I began to pack a suitcase. But somehow ended up hiding in another room in a pile of clothes/blankets on the side of a bed, from my dad, (who found me).
In deciphering any of this, it may be helpful to know that my dad is a preacher, and so is his Dad (Pawpaw). I attribute our legacy of faith more to my grandmother though. But either way you look at it, I have come to always assume a spiritual meaning when I'm at my grandparent's house in dreams. In every dream of their house it is a mansion; sometimes with a business going on inside, and other times with many bedrooms for guests. I'd like to conclude that the guests of their house have become a part of their legacy. But that's just a desire of mine, I'm not sure if it's right.
Anyway, the part about my two high school friends, I imagine, is just me looking forward to our 'girl's weekend' coming up in March. They both live in other states, so it is very rare that I see them, outside of Facebook. :-)
Hiding in the blankets on the side of the bed instantly reminds me of how I wake up many mornings. You see, my dog Knuckles sleeps in blankets right beside my bed and often whines for me to join him. Which, being the pushover that I am, I often do. So we can assume that I was hiding in a "dog's" bed from my father (who often represents my view of my heavenly father... and we all know you can't hide from Him).
I'd like to say that interactions with my ex during the dream were purely innocent, but often in my dreams there is still a spark between us. It is encouraging though, to know that often what may seem to have sexual undertones (or overtones) in dreams really has nothing to do with sex. It's often just symbolic of intimacy in talking, or in a common interest. In many of my dreams that involve him, our daughter is present, but in this one she wasn't. However, I'd like to point out that his wife was there, and had no problem with me taking him. That in itself says that this was probably an innocent interaction.
I know we didn't make a complete interpretation, but completion is not always necessary. (Plus I don't have all the other bits and pieces.) I think, for me today, it's enough to know that even in my subconscious I honor his wife, and that if I hide, God sees me anyway.
I also wanted to point out that I don't believe this dream was divine in nature. There are self dreams and God dreams, and some that mix both. Even though this dream had God elements, I don't think it was from Him. I think it was just my own brain working out some issues.
When I have "God dreams" they are typically very vivid in color and clear. Those are the ones to pay attention to! That's not to say that self dreams can't be helpful. They often reveal a lot about the issues you are struggling with, or excited over, or even the ones you are avoiding.
My last comment is to my 'comments'
Thank you all for leaving them.
1. As for remembering dreams, pray or self talk to yourself that you will remember, that often works.
2. Yes, personal symbolism is the key... which leads me to...
3. Dream dictionaries can be helpful, but hardly dependable, because symbolism is so very personal. (personal culture, religion, family dynamics, fears, etc. all taint words for us, so that they don't mean the same to each person.) Unless an interpreter is listening to God (or to a demon in many cases) their interpretation will be based on their own symbolism, or will be very general. Demonic interpretation may have elements of truth, but it will not be with your benefit in mind. Most profitable new-age dream interpreters have tapped in to evil spirits. With that said, no, I don't think I will be using the suggested web site. (Maybe I will, to prove my generalization point at some time.) The best way to interpret dreams is to know yourself and what things mean to you. (Of course, I'd add prayer too.)
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