Remembering What's Best

Last night's dream...

I was in a play of some sort, but it was open air... not on a stage.

We were actually in an arcade, which was part of a carnival or board walk.

In the arcade I was with an old friend of mine who was married to me in the play. He didn't want me anymore and sent me away. I walked over to another couple and pretended to talk to the wife of that couple (also in the play). My "husband" whispered across the "stage" that he had forgotten to ask for my wedding rings. So I took them off and threw them across "stage". Not long after, he threw "cheap" ones back. But to me they weren't cheap. They were mother of pearl and opal. The band was even made of mother of pearl (not a stable material for that, but pretty). I started admiring my two new rings. I was enthralled with their beauty. Then a very handsome man (not in the play) walked by and asked if I was available, I quickly made a bee-line to my real husband who was playing an arcade game close by. I leaned on him and tried to get his attention.

I'm not sure if he went with me, but next I walked over to the farris wheel. I got on, rode and got off alone. I started exiting the wrong way and noticed I was in Italy. I saw my exboyfriend, Shane, standing not far away. I ran over to him and we kissed. I was very happy to be with him and was thinking of how much I liked his kisses, when I saw my husband. I thought about the thrill of a new romance and all the things I missed about Shane, but I finally ran to my husband instead and cried to him that I had forgotten that we had had good times there too. (in Italy). My mind went to some "real" times and some that I just made up. We walked off arm in arm.

I have to go to a Beth Moore Conference today... so I have no time to 'interpret'... I don't think it needs too much though. :-)

Ciao!

Half Fake Babies

Yesterday there was a baby in my dream... a real baby, that I know, last night, there was two babies, and they were fake... hmmmm...

The dream started at drama practice. I was there with Tracy, and my daughter and other other drama people (from church). I had been given lines and we were practicing my delivery. The backdrop was white and formless.

I don't remember the first part of the line, but the second part was, "I see what you mean". I had a make-up compact in my hand and my back turned to the group. I turned and said my line angrily. I did this a few times, then asked if it would be better if I said it with a bit of surprise and a softer voice... ,"blah blah blah... Oh, I see what you mean." At that point I was holding a baby. The baby was a doll... at least from the waist down. The legs were plastic and stiff in a seated position; they hinged at the thighs. 

I walked with the baby over to a bunk bed right inside a small room a few yards away. My sister was on the top bunk with another baby boy. It looked fairly real, and I thought of him as hers. She wanted me to take him for a minute while she adjusted something. I stood on the ledge of the bottom bunk, (as I often did as a child, to be able to reach the top bunk) and held out my free arm. I was holding the other baby in the crook of my left arm and holding the top bunk rail with my left hand. She gave me the baby, and I realized his legs were plastic as well. I couldn't get a good hold on him because of my positioning. I asked her to take him back, that I couldn't hold him, but she argued that she couldn't do it either.

That was the end.

Given that my sister was on her top bunk, I'd like to take it literally as being about my sister, but my mind keeps thinking of my agenda this morning, which is to go see a new space with my art group the "Swell Sisters". The space is on the second floor, (like a bunk bed) and this is a "baby" of ours. 

The bottom floor of the building is a dance studio. I'm hoping that there will be something there for me as well. I was a dancer as a kid, and am really wanting to get back into that. 

Anyway, I imagine I'll have a better grasp on what the dream is about after my meeting this morning. I will be looking for parallels.

Dreaming about other people

Well, I'm happy to say that most of my dreams were good last night. Yay!

I had three that I can remember.

The first began in a class room. A boy named Lee from my 5th grade class had started a rumor about me. I don't remember what the rumor was, or even if it was mentioned in the dream; it was simply known that he had started one. I was searching for a seat, weighing my options. I sat towards the front in a desk just like the ones in elementary school. Partially through the class I got up and moved to a cluster of friends. Among the friends was my best friend from college: Ramin. He was sitting with 3-4 other people with their desks all pushed up next to each other creating a table. I knew the people, but I can't remember who they were. As soon as our desks were all together an Indian feast was served to us. There were at least 6 dishes served, family style. I picked up each and took two of most things and passed them on. One dish looked like fried firecrackers. It was rolled up like an egg roll but only 1 1/2 long and with colorful tassels poking out one end. Another dish was very large raviolis. There were also dates and raisins that dripped with honey and when I put them on my plate I watched the honey drizzle from the spoon folding itself in a golden ribbon. It was mesmerizing. There was naan bread and other things that I don't know the name of that I've had at the Indian restaurant in town. ...and that was the extent of the dream.

The next dream was simply about my old pastor's wife moving to an older section of town. The section of town she moved to is closer to the church, and to one of her close friends. The house had a pool and she had invited some women over. The only thing that I did in the dream was ponder why she had moved. The reasons I gave (about being closer, and near her friend) are the only ones I came up with.

The last dream was the only disturbing one of the night.

I went to visit my friend Paige. (Which I haven't done in a VERY long time, even though she lives in the same town.) My husband went with me. We were mainly there to see her baby. (This is how long I haven't been to her house... Last time I was there Lily was a baby, now I think she's 5.) In the dream Lily was less than a year old. I was playing with her, taking her hat off and on, off and on. She wanted it on, but was laughing at the game we had devised.  There were happy smiles all around, and then the men left the room and Paige started talking to me about marriage. I don't remember what she said about it, all I know is that I started  listing off friends, in my head, that are in bad marriages. What is interesting is that I listed a couple that aren't in bad marriages. One being a very good friend of mine who never complains about her husband. In the dream  I could see her confession unfold in front of me, like I was there, in her bed room. She explained to me that she had cheated on her husband. It had only been one night  at a party of some sort. I cried as she told me, trying to understand how she could do such a thing. After the thought finished, I was back talking to Paige, and thinking of other bad marriages.

That was the end of the dream.

I don't have any ideas about  what the dreams mean... if anything. But I'll connect with the key players in the dreams and make sure all is well.

:-)

It's hard to know when you dream about other people, if the dream is really about them, or about something they represent in your life, or what.

Fire Frustration

Yesterday I went to see "How To Train Your Dragon" with my son; it was a very good movie. 

It showed up in the atmosphere of my dream...  I even threw in one of the previews... a new animated owl movie.

In my dream I was making a fire. The fire was in an old looking fireplace meant for cooking, like something you'd see in the movie last night. I was going to put a pot over it  to cook a recipe I wanted. I also had another pot in the kitchen (old timey as well). The fire roared and puffed with thick black smoke. It was raging and I was thinking it was burning the wood too quickly. I started to cry, "Mom!... Mom!"  I called... crying for my mom to come help me. I was asking her how to do it. I was asking for the recipe, and how to tame the fire. I was balling, crying out for her to come help. The fire was dying quickly. It was down to coals and I hadn't even gotten the pot over it. I was crying and frustrated that I would not get my dish cooked. Finally I walked away from the fire and over to my mom, begging for her help. She commented on my whiny attitude and said she wouldn't help me if that's how I was going to act. I walked away to look for the recipe book myself. I walked past the fire and the pot in the kitchen to the outside (it was the house I had lived in when I was 17). I walked over to an old chest in a tent. (The scene was very similar to the town in the movie last night.) I was looking for the book "Owl at Home" (it's a children's book that I have from when my kids were little. There is a chapter in it on tear soup.) In my dream the recipe I was looking for was a saffron chicken and in the kitchen I was doing potatoes. I searched for the book and then thought, "wait, I know how to make that." I thought through the steps and started walking back to the fire wondering if it would still be hot.

The End

Do you ever have times when you get fired up about something but you don't know what to do with your passion. You have an idea, but you don't think you have what it takes to complete your idea, or to do it well? Your fire is burning fast and while you're calling frantically for help, thinking that you are incapable... it dies down.

I feel like that's what has happened to me over and over again with my projects. I get all fired up, I know what I want to do, (sometimes I feel capable, and sometimes I feel inadequate.) I especially feel this in my 'health' issues. I pray for help, frantically, not even imagining that I can do it myself. 

In other projects like my art, I often tell myself that if I just didn't have kids around to distract my focus that I would get it all done. I know that's not true, cause even while they are at school I get sidetracked with other friends and other non-project things. I have to think, though, that this is a relational life, I can't give up relationships to do projects. So my internal struggle is over which is "important" today. What should I be doing? My projects... and which one? Or helping a friend? Or just being with a friend? 

Please God, order my time, and help my fire not to fade while I'm floundering.

Times (numbers) in dreams

In the very beginning of my dream last night I was in a public rest room. It was all women and I had to go, but could not find an empty stall. Outside of the stalls there were beauty treatments going on and mud baths and such. I waited for a long time for someone to come out. When I finally got in one of the stalls I realized it was connected to the other two beside it, no walls, only the wall that separated them from the 'beauty area'. I didn't like that. I don't even remember ever actually going past that point, though I know I looked in various other stalls to find a suitable one. That dream ended (or morphed) and this one started...

I was on a school trip of some sort. We stopped at a convenience store to get some snacks. I was looking at bags of Japanese snacks that one of the boys said he liked and that they didn't have any... but I found them. It had a pink wrapper. There was a mini Arbys in the store and one of the nerds from my high school came over and asked if I wanted a sandwich. I said yes and he went to get me one. He came back shortly after, needing some money. The Arby's part of the store closed at 12:30 and it was just about to close (even though it was lunch time). The lady at the Arby's counter also came over and I had to figure out if he had ordered me a sandwich, fries and a drink or just the sandwich cause it was seeming a little expensive. I payed her and we went back outside. It wasn't like a parking lot anymore, it was more like a quad at a school and it led to a class room where some students were watching a film about the earth shifting. I sat down next to my ex boyfriend and started to lean into him. The nerd who had bought me the sandwich (kind of) got a little frustrated. I started talking to my ex about the end of the world. He didn't believe me. The video they were watching was showing that just in the past couple of days the earth's surface had moved many miles. We hadn't felt it. But the satellite camera had taken pictures and we were at that moment watching a part of the video that showed a harbor town with lots of personal boats all moving at once up and over what seemed to be a few miles. I asked if he believed me now. Then that part of the dream faded. 

In the next part I was at my house from when I was 8. I was with my family (mainly my mom and my Aunt Debbie) in the living room watching a movie. I had prom that night and was suppose to be there at 7. I had to car pool with some friends and I was going to pick them up at 6:30. I had not started to get ready at all. It was 6:25 when I realized what time it was. My mom and aunt had not let me look at the time... like they had me watching the movie to forget... or maybe I fell asleep during the movie??? Anyway I jumped up and they protested a little. I explained to them the time and that I had to go get ready. I went to put on my dress and when I got in front of the mirror to do my make-up I had what looked like sun burn blister-bubbles all over my face and chest and shoulders. It was horrible. But I didn't freak out as much as you would think. Instead, I started explaining them to the nerd that had been in the beginning of the dream.

And that was the end.

We've already talked about "potty dreams" in a different post, so I won't go back into that, just sufficed to say that this bathroom was dirty and unappealing, open and unsafe... not the place you want to be sharing your 'stuff'.

As for the convenience store part of the dream.  This is the third (I think) convenience store in my dreams over the past week or so... after possibly a life time of never dreaming of such places, so that in itself makes it interesting. Last time the convenience store was the place I went looking for help about the stolen swell sister car... with no luck. Another time recently I was stopping to get gas and some quick food with my dad, the place ended up repulsing me.

So here I am again in a fast food /convenience /gas station type place and things are not going so well. Convenient is not always the best choice... or should I say, hardly ever is. That goes for food as well as for life lessons.

This time there is a time involved. It is not typical for me to have so many numbers in a dream, or to remember them. In this dream they were all times: Closing time, starting time, time to go, 'oops I'm late' time. 

It seems to me that this being a dream that dealt a lot with time and even the end of the world that  the convenience store closing could have to do with the end of conveniences.  It could be for me personally, as I am trying to be healthier, or it could be grander than that. 

I'm not going to jump to any rash conclusions... this is just what jumps out to me (and of course what I've been studying for the past year now). 12:30 looks a lot like half way through the year '12... which is about the time I think 'conveniences' will end, due to the mass amounts of natural disasters up until that point. 

The dream moves directly from that 'closing time' to watching a video about a major shift in the earth (something predicted by many to happen in 2012). I am trying to convince someone I care deeply about. (I still care very much about my first love, just not in a romantic way. Plus I tend to dream of Shane when it has to do with matters of the religion, because we debate about it nearly every time we talk; him being Catholic and me being Protestant.) The nerd I mentioned in the dream (isn't a nerd anymore) and he is agnostic. I don't typically talk to him about religion at all, but my best friend does.

Prom (probably dreamed of because the Swell Sister's 2nd anniversary this weekend was an 80's Prom theme) being at 7:00, speaks to me of completion and the party at the end of the world. The seventh year, the beginning of the Thousand Year Reign of Christ. (Or for a shallower interpretation... that is the time that our Prom started, but we were suppose to be there at 6:30 to set up... I was 5 minutes late.)

Movies and I have a love/hate relationship. I love good movies, but I use them as an escape. Movies are the one thing that I will waste my time doing. I am getting better, but I relapse often. There are numerous things that I need to "get ready" for... things about my end times ministry... things that hopefully will "pick up my friends and bring them to Prom", but I get side tracked with things as stupid as movies. I pray that I am not "late"! 

I imagine that the blisters on my face, neck, shoulders, and chest were just another end time plague (Rev 16:2) that I was trying to explain to my non-believing friend. In the dream they were just like a sun burn to me, not painful at all, just blisters of air, like before you start peeling. I know this is NOT how they are described at all in the bible, but if we're being biblical about it, only those with the mark of the beast will have them in the first place. Perhaps it refers to the part that says we'll be scorched by the sun? (Rev 16:9).

Hmmmm.  Just a thought.