Worries, and Volunteering.

Last night I was up and down with the dogs all night. (Once again, I gave them some people food that didn't agree with their stomaches.) But the good part of that is that I was able to catch multiple dreams. The first I caught was at around 12:00.
I was with my friend Mitzie in a back yard (mine supposedly)of a New York town house. Bible study had just ended and we were talking about the painting I just finished for her. (A painting I really did just finish yesterday.) As we talked we got fruit off of a tree. The discussion was about things she wanted to add to the painting. She wanted to add some poppies on a hill in the background. I was a little flustered that I was no longer "done" with the painting. When we finally looked at the clock it said 3:00AM. We mentioned that she had stayed for four hours since study time. Then, as we were walking to the front door we noticed it was open. "That's not good." I was shocked and had a fleeting thought that a burglar had gotten in my house, but when I looked out the door I noticed my dad sitting on the brick stair railing that butted up against the porch. I could see people and ambulances and other 3:00AM type sights on the streets of New York around my house. My dad was looking forlorn watching and waiting. I asked what he was doing. He said, "Savannah's not home yet." (That's my 18 year old daughter.) I knew what that meant. When she did get home she would be in DEEP trouble, and her car would be taken away. The rest of the dream was just standing there looking, waiting, and thinking about where she could be. Was she in danger? Was she out with her boyfriend? hmmm.

There were two other dreams between then and morning, but all I remember from them are scattered images and a song, so I'll skip ahead to the one I had just before waking up at 6:00.

I was volunteering at a woman's shelter (probably thinking of a book I'm reading called House of Hope). I had walked through the building and then around the block. When I came around to the back door I noticed a large pile of feminine products. Someone had dropped off a donation of pads, razors, tampons, aspirin, q-tips, etc. I started gathering them into my arms, and taking them inside. A woman told me where there was a bathroom that I could stash them in. It took me a few trips but the moment I was done I was ushered into a multipurpose room with cork boards along the wall covered in construction paper with rick-rack edges ala-elementary school style. Some had things pinned to them, others were empty. There were plastic and metal chairs around the room and people started to filter inside. The pastor from my church told me to grab some things off the wall and put them away. I went to the wall and found injection viles and other types of medical looking paraphernalia. I was taking them down while Pastor Scott was having the women sit in chairs. I took the stuff outside where I assumed there would be someone to pick them up, or perhaps I was waiting for another donation. I'm not sure, but there was a litter of puppies outside that needed my care. So I started loving on them. Then I woke up.

The first dream is pretty obviously about two things I'm worried about. I want to be done with Mitzie's painting, as it has been on my to-do list for a year now. And I'm worried about my daughter getting into any furthur trouble because my husband has said the next thing to be taken away will be her car.
The second dream no doubt centers around my book. I've mentioned before that puppies in my dreams usually refer to youth. I tend to work with youth more so than with women my own age or older.

The River to Heaven

Before bed my daughter showed us a YouTube testimony of the man who spoke at the event she was at last night. He shared of his near death/actual death experience in which he was in a "river" on the way to hell. When he came back to life he was a changed man and has been prechin' about it ever since.
With that in my mind, and with various other people from my morning at church swirling around in my head, this is the dream I had:

I was in a kitchen with several people from church, and my mom. Jada (a little girl at my church)was running around the kitchen island and I was brushing the crumbs from the party onto the floor so that I could sweep them up. After I swept the kitchen (around people's feet) I took Jada and her brothers down stairs where the laundry room was. Through a window we could see a huge tidal wave coming. I told the kids that we should get back up stairs to their mommy quick! We all ran up the stairs and just as we were coming through the door at the top of the stairs, the wave hit. Instantly we were all gone, no pain, no turmoil of the wave, nothing, just all of a sudden floating down this vast river. There was water as far as I could see on either side of me. I couldn't see anyone else and I wondered if I was dead, or just in the sea after the wave. Then a light came over the horizon in front of me and flooded my vision with it's reflection on the water's surface. I was overcome with the biggest smile of my life. Then I saw a rope stretched across the expanse of the sea with square flags every few feet that had pictures of Disney princesses on them. I saw Belle on a flag that also had my name written on it. It said "Ms. Mikie Spencer" right above the bust of Belle in her yellow ball gown. (Belle is "my" princess. She is the one I look most like, and was a nickname that my ex had for me.) I passed directly under the flag of Belle and on down the river/sea. Then there was another rope with the same flags across it... and in the distance, another, and another. I had no control over the pattern that I was floating in and I was going faster and faster down the river, but I always passed directly under the Belle flag with my name on it. I got all giddy thinking about how perfect the aim of my floating was. I knew that God was guiding me. I also knew that this was the river to Heaven and that each princess picture represented another person. I could never see the end of the water to either side, and the flags were every couple of feet all the way across the water.
I woke up briefly and rolled over.
When I fell back asleep my dream had changed and I was going around asking people I knew who their favorite princess was. I was looking back in my memory to remember if I saw that princess on the rope or not.

I know there are not as many Disney princesses as there are girls going to Heaven, (in my second dream two people answered "Hermione" when I asked them who their princess was,) but this is dream language, not reality. It's obvious to me that my mind needed to think of princesses and that's all it had to pull from. They needed to be personal, and I can't think of one woman I know who doesn't have a "personal" princess. I know my daughter's princess is Sleeping Beauty. I have two friends who claim Snow White. Who do you claim?

The dream was very satisfying. The happiness (both with my smile and my giddiness) was overwhelming, but peaceful at the same time. I love dreams like that!

"Upstream"

Well, it has begun.
I have officially started my first "dream painting".
I actually started three yesterday and trashed the first two.
My husband encouraged me that I can't expect to get this right on the first try. I've never done it before... It may take time. I shouldn't assume that the first one I do will actually go into the show in August.
So I cut myself some slack and started another one thinking that it may end up in the trash too.
The painting I'm working on today is a dream from two days ago.

The dream went like this:
My friend Olivia and I were in an elevator trying to get to the 5th floor. There were digital clock type things sitting on pedestals around the elevator. Each one displayed the #5 in some way. I kept pushing the #5 on all the various screens and buttons, but we never went anywhere. At one point we pushed 7 accidentally (because the numbers on the clocks changed)and went to the 7th floor, but we stayed in and tried to push 5 again. The time was moving so slowly that Olivia started to deal with a lady behind a bank desk about her house mortgage (all inside the elevator). Finally we got out at the lobby which was a huge room like at a train station/mall with white marble floors with black tiles interspersed. Ahead of us down a long grand hall was a man dressed like a guard of some sort with another man in a trench coat standing/floating above his head. I announced to Olivia that the man on the guard's head was an angel. We saw the grand staircase to our left and decided to use it to get to the 5th floor.
As I walked up the stairway I was no longer with Olivia. My dad was with me. The stairway was now outside and it zigzagged like a typical outdoor stairway with gaps between the stairs. To the left of the stairs was a waterfall. At each landing the waterfall had a small pool about 4-5 feet long, just like the landing. There were coy fish swimming up the waterfall like salmon going upstream. At one of the landings I stopped to rub the scales of one of the coy, soothing it, trying to let it rest. Then I let it go again. At the next section of stairs I noticed that a red nose pit bull was swimming upstream. She was trying her hardest to make it out of the waterfall, but just like the coy, she was going up, not down. I knelt by the side of the small pool and pulled her out of the water. Then, pit bull by my side, we made our way up to the 5th floor. In the room, the dog rested. I was thinking about the pit bull's energy level and how she must be so used to swimming all day that she may be too high energy for someone like me. She was all muscle. There was no fat on her body, and you could see her ribs. At least for now, she was tired and would be resting for a long time. The scene changed and I was now bringing my new dog secretly down the back stairs (metal, like a fire escape, but not like a ladder) to go to the bathroom out back by the dumpsters. I found an old chain and a bike lock and made a leash out of it. I also found a small contraption that looked like a shower head from an old motel. At the bottom of the stairs on our way back up an old janitor stopped us and asked about the dog and the chain. He claimed that the chain was his and of course that I was not supposed to have that dog. He asked for the shower head contraption. It was supposed to tell the history of what it belonged to... in this case, the dog. I was scared that it would show that the dog belonged in the fountain, doomed to struggle all of her life. But instead, as he opened the top, by turning it half a turn to the right, it just let out a shot of air, no history. I was free to go and take the dog with me... though I did give back the old chain and bicycle lock to the janitor.

As I was painting just now, I was overwhelmed by the emotion that I had seeing this poor pit bull swimming upstream. God gently whispered that He too cared about the mistreatment of the pitties around the US. Pit bulls and their mistreatment is a subject near and dear to my heart, because my baby, my precious 4 year old dog, is a pit bull. He is brindled and beautiful. It breaks my heart that pit bulls around the country are being killed because of breed legislation. Others are being fought, others are just misunderstood and feared. The dream was obviously about the struggle that pit bulls face, but what about the rest of the dream?
Well... the coy also swimming upstream speak to me of my other friend Barbara. She has coy fish that will let you pet them (well, they let her pet them). She is dealing with an "upstream" battle now, and though I'm no real help, I can provide a small rest.
The part with Olivia in the elevator is dealing with her wanting to get to a place of redemption. 5 is the number of grace, redemption, provision, and the like. We tried and tried to get there in the elevator. She even took time to go to the bank while waiting. But in the end we had to climb stairs. The easy way was put on pedestals... but it didn't work for us. As we charted our course in the grand hall we saw a guard with an angel. I had to point this out, it wasn't obvious to Olivia... but it was comforting, and it was inspiring. It sent us on our way. Now why she wasn't with me on the stairs I think is just a break in the story of the dream. I didn't need to dream about Olivia anymore because MY part with her was done... Now I was on my own stair climbing journey. My dad being with me, was just a picture of God with me, helping me to help my friend, and the pit bulls.
The old chain and the back stairs to the dumpster were symbolic of me just using trash to care for the pitties. I don't "DO" anything. I just post about them on facebook, and say nice things about them to people. There is no real sacrifice on my part. The fact that no history showed up from the "shower head contraption" speaks of a clean slate. God's perfect plan for these dogs is to not have a stereotype attached, no prejudices. I'm left with the question, now what? What do I do with that?
Well... at 12:00 I'm heading over to play a game with Barbara and her daughters.
My husband just yesterday asked which charities I would like to give to. I have never given anything substantial to a non-Christian charity, but I think this year I will be helping the pitties in a bigger way.
As for Olivia, I'm not sure I need to do anything. I'll have to talk to her and see how it's going. ;-)

Am I Prepared?

I really haven't dreamed much of interest lately... thus no new entries, but I thought I'd share last night's as it seemed very vivid and long.

It started in a room at church, not my church particularly, but a church; I could tell because of the people who were there, and because of the size and emptiness of the room. We were clearly in what we called the "fellowship hall" when I was growing up. (It's the multi-purpose room of a church where most food related events take place.) In my dream I was there with a hand full of kids from the elementary class that I help out with once a month. There may have been a couple adults, but I don't remember any. My dogs were with me, as was the greyhound from an internet rescue story I read yesterday. I was coaxing my dog Knuckles to be nice to the greyhound. When I realized that the interaction wasn't going to improve, I walked outside. The dogs were gone and all the kids were ahead of me in a large field that I've seen before in dreams that has a large pool in it. The kids were getting into the pool along with other classroom helpers. I wanted to swim as well but didn't have a suit. For some reason I thought it would be better to swim naked than in my clothes, so I stripped down and got in the pool. There was a hot tub in one section of the pool and most of the kids and helpers were in it. I tried to stay close to the wall of the hot tub hiding my nakedness. One little boy came up and touched my boob, and I had to swim away from the wall shooing him away. At that point I saw my sister on shore and asked her to bring me a bathing suit. A few minutes later she brought me back a tiny string bikini (that I owned about 9 years ago to lay out in). I fumbled with the suit under water all the while noticing parents of the children, who were now there to pick up their kids, watching me in disgust. I finally got the suit on just as someone was saying that if anyone needed a ride home now was the time to call your parents. I got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around me. I called my mom and said I could walk home, but would she bring me the dogs so I could give them a walk too, so I didn't have to do two walks that day. I knew the area and it was about 2 miles from my house.
About the time I made it to the street to start the walk home the scenery changed and I was no longer myself. I was Antonio Banderas with shoulder length hair and a long trench coat on, walking with my girlfriend into a huge mansion. The mansion was very dark and full of fancy wood paneling and large decor. I was explaining to her that I had agreed to do the painting for her father. (Her father didn't really like me, but doing the painting was a bribe of sorts to smooth things over between us, since I wanted to marry his daughter.) My eye went directly to a large painting on the wall behind me to my left of a "Niagara Falls" type close-up painting, that was lava instead of water. I kept looking to the left as we walked down an open hallway, into each alcove along the way. Each section had more paintings, each in a series that had to do with the lava one. They were all dark, made of browns, reds, and blacks, and each had an element of a puzzle in them. At first, the puzzle pieces were not the main focus, but the further down the hall we got the puzzle grew and became the main subject of the painting. My painting was going to be a part of this series and I wasn't sure exactly how. My girlfriend's father's footsteps could be heard in the distance in front of us and to our right, we quickly ducked into one of the alcoves on our left and waited for a stairway to appear. The stairs had been a part of the wall beneath the chair rail molding, but as we watched they stretched out from the wall to form an actual staircase. I started to step on them while they were still "doll size", but quickly realized that they were going to grow more. I stepped off a little embarrassed, and waited for a few seconds longer as even the top half of the wall protruded out and the stairs had plenty of room to go up and behind the section of wall. Right as we got on the stairs my alarm went off and I had to wake up; which was very disappointing.

So... what does it mean?
Well, I can tell you where the elements came from...
The greyhound, as I mentioned was from a story I read yesterday. (Very touching about a rescued greyhound, who in turn helped with nurturing other rescued animals.)
The church kids were there most likely from me thinking this past Sunday that I had to help out, when really my Sunday is two Sundays away.
The smallness of the bikini is coming from me trying to get to the same size I was 9 years ago before we go to Hawaii in a few months.
Antonio Banderas is on my mind from a conversation I had with my friend Saturday morning while her daughter was watching Shrek the Third, about Puss-in-Boots having his own movie, and me questioning if that could be any good.
Niagra Falls imagery comes from my husband's trip to Toronto this coming weekend. And I imagine that the puzzle pieces in all the dark paintings are about me pieces together the dark events on the prophetic calendar.

Being naked and ashamed is a common theme in dreams usually about not being prepared, or possibly exposing vulnerable parts of yourself.
My pool dreams typically are about cleansing or refreshing. It's interesting that I was ashamed at the same time as being cleansed... but I guess that is how it goes sometimes. It makes me think of the prayer I received this past Sunday.
I knew God wanted me to go up and get prayer for my 12 year anniversary of marriage. So I went to a couple that I admire and asked them to pray over me. I had to tell them a little of our "ugliness" so that they knew where I was coming from. Even in my vague explanation their prayer was so targeted it was as if I had divulged everything. That took place in our multi-purpose room BTW.
I have known for a while now that I have a part to play in teaching about prophetic events in today's world. Be it through paintings, or fashion, or words. I feel prepared, but not talented enough... which is generally how I view Antonio Banderas. I think that the grandness of the mansion that the paintings were in speaks of how great and overwhelming of a task I consider this undertaking.
The stairway was hopefully a good thing... but I guess I may never know that. (It did lead up. :-) )

Nursery News

Last night's dream woke me up with a start this morning.
I can't remember the first half of it, though I know it was a long one from the fuzzy imagery that remained.
The last part however, I remember vividly.
I was helping at a nursery that was in a two story house. There were three other workers aside from myself, all female. We had a hand full of infants and a few toddlers. The workers were speaking in broken sentences mixed with baby sign-language. At first I didn't understand why they were not speaking the whole sentence, but then I watched the head chick and saw that she was acting out things and really only using the words that were important to the idea she was trying to convey. The head lady started going up stairs and I picked up a little Chinese girl. She was around 6 mos old and as I picked her up I felt that there was fat on the back of her head. It was an odd thing to notice, but that and her round face, and body swaddled in a white blanket were the things that stood out to me.
I put her down on a mat on the floor laying face up and then I turned to see breaking news on the TV to my right. The news was of a plane crash. My entire vision went completely to the screen. The picture was of a large cartoon statue of a guy in a baseball cap. The announcer said, "This is all the footage we have from the tragedy that just occurred in Florida." He mentioned Joe Maloof as the owner of the team who's stadium had been crashed into,(and who's image the cartoon figure was). I also saw my son's principle in the footage.
When the camera showing the cartoon figure stopped they cut to another camera that showed a large marching band dressed in sky blue and white leaping from the top of the stadium to their death. They were all looking up and behind them and screaming as they jumped. Another camera showed another area that looked more like an enormous mall with ladies with bags and other random people jumping off of glass partial walls and past escalators and fountains and other "mall fixtures". Everybody was running like chickens with their heads cut off and jumping off of walls. The plane they mentioned was a Pan Am flight (which of course went under in the early 90's).

What do you make of that?
Well... I can see some of my yesterday popping through...
I was talking with Kelly yesterday about adoption and the sad state of unwanted Chinese baby girls. That explains the baby, though not the fat on the back of her head.
I was also reading a book last night (while my son was at drum lessons) about WWII. The book is Noah Hutching's autobiography, and I just happen to be in the part of the book about his experience at the war and fighting the Japanese.
This could be why I was dreaming of a plane coming down... though I hadn't got to any planes crashing til my reading this morning. Plus, those were fighter planes, not passenger planes, and not Pan-Am, and not in Florida, and nothing to do with sports or any Maloof family member.
That's one reason I wanted to write about it this morning... I have no idea why I dreamed it. Nothing in my world relates.
So... that's it. I guess I'll think on it some more, but otherwise, I'll just wait and see if something pops up.

Laundry and Teeth

Last night's dream stared me and my mom.
I was doing laundry... putting clothes in a very deep washing machine. Then I went to my mom's room and was looking for clothes to pack to go to summer camp. She opened a lower drawer for me and I started digging through it. I pulled out one shirt that I thought was something I wanted, then as I unfolded it, it became my son's Perry the Platypus T-shirt. Again I reached in the drawer and pulled out an article of clothing that ended up being my son's underwear. I pulled out one more thing of my son's and complained to my mom that these things aren't mine, they are his.

That was the extent of the dream.
As for interpretation... With me clothing dreams have to do with my weight and what track I'm on concerning my body. This specific dream equates me with my son. I started a diet this week... the same diet that I did this summer while my son was at a weight loss summer camp. I am mentally preparing myself for the journey ahead. It was so much easier when no kids were home this summer, but I won't have that this summer, so I'm going ahead and doing it now. The deep washing machine tells me that there is a lot of "cleansing" to do, and the lower drawer tells me that I'm at the bottom of this thing.

Saturday night I had another interesting dream. The night itself was interesting because I was dog sitting three dogs that were not mine. Two of them are chiweenie puppies, the same age as my Lhasa apso puppy. Very "needy" pups. Because I am such a push over I slept with all three of the other dogs and my own puppy. First on the couch, then up in the guest room. Every time I would move they would all wake up and re-arrange themselves. It was a long night to say the least!
Anyway I think the dream spoke of my situation as well as me being a push-over in general, and my indecision... or more pointedly, my inability to stick to decisions... to stand up to others, or even dogs for that matter.

The dream started with my sister and I walking to a camp site. (My sister, though I have no right to blame her any further, is the root of where I got my "door mat" status. She's a year older than me and was my boss and my mouth piece all through childhood.) We got to the area that we thought should be camp and there was a parking garage. We went up some cement stairs that were enclosed just like in a normal parking garage. As we looked we started to hear voices. It was my dad along with the rest of the youth group for camp. (My dad was a youth pastor for much of my childhood.) We scurried back down the stairs to meet them. There was a discussion that I didn't hear and my sister came to me and said, "they don't have room for everyone in the nice cabins. You and I should take one of the bad ones."
Well, I didn't want to take a bad one, but I didn't say anything. Then June (a lady from my church who is famous for her hugs) came up to me and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You don't deserve a bad room, you should have a nice one."
I looked at my dad who was talking to the group and noticed that his teeth were brown and that they were fanned out on the top row like the old cartoon drawings of hillbillies. I saw that he had a cup of coffee in his hand. "You should rinse your mouth ofter you drink coffee Dad," I said. (Our dentist just told my daughter the same thing about soda last week... that's where that's from.) Then out of nowhere my grandmother (Dad's mom) appears and walks up to my dad and pulls out one of his teeth. The tooth she pulled came from the canine area, but it looked like a molar. My dad protested and then he pulled out his entire top row of teeth all at once on a metal grid. The teeth were large and each wrapped with metal that strung them all together. He was pointing out the spot that the one she had pulled came from, and arguing with her. Then I woke up.

As I said, I think that night, feeling very "trampled on", both figuratively, and literally, this dream speaks to being pushed around and being indecisive. My dad is the same way. Also, loosing teeth in dreams usually has to do with not being about to deal with things. (lost Incisors = indecision, lost molars = inability to "chew on things") That's John Paul Jackson's theory, not mine... But it seems to hold true in my dreams. Perhaps the image of my dad with terrible teeth is a symbolic warning of sorts to what lies ahead of me if I don't get this thing under control.

The past three nights

I have been able to sleep in the past three days which really makes a difference for how well I remember my dreams! With no alarm clock you are able to naturally wake up, and then sift through your thoughts without the pressure of time.

I'll start with last night:
I had a freeway dream... Pointing out that almost ALL of my freeway dreams are futuristic. Freeways with layers and various directions all intertwined. Well last night's I was NOT the driver, unless you count back seat driving. I was riding in a car with family (though I can't remember who was driving or which part of my family was with me. I think my mom was there.). Anyway, we were going somewhere but were unsure of which exit to take. The roads were so confusing cause there weren't signs that said things like "Sacramento next exit", you just had to look at which way the roads went and know which way you wanted to go. The ramps were like pretzels though, so you could tell which one led North or South or whatever. We wanted to go to the right but we missed the turn and didn't realize it until it was too late and we were headed for a long bridge. (It reminded me of driving into Long Beach from San Pedro.) We couldn't turn around and there were no exits until after the bridge which seemed to just get longer and longer as we drove. It started to look like a post apocalyptic scene from "The Book of Eli".
I woke up out of frustration that I couldn't turn around.

The night before I had a dream about my friend Barbara and her two daughters. My family lived across the hall from her in an apartment building with thin walls. We could hear everything that they said. I found out that they were baking a chocolate cake and I went over to taste it. As I ran out into the entry/stairwell area I noticed that there were no rails around the stairs and that I could fall to my death. We were at least 5 stories up and it looked very scary spiraling down. Her daughter Brooklyn ran up the stairs yelling. I stopped running and eased my way to her door. I went in, got some chocolate cake and went back to my apartment to taste the strawberry cake that my husband had made. (Yeah right :-) .) I tasted them both side by side and then went back into the entryway and looked at the stairwell again. It now had rails up and I wondered if it had ever been unsafe, or if I had imagined it.

The night before that I had a dream about my grandparent's house. (Not the one they live in now... but the one they lived in during my childhood.) I always wanted to live in their house when I grew up. I thought it was a mansion when I was little. We lived in a trailer, and then in other small houses most of my childhood, so their three story house was huge to me.
Anyway, in the dream I was selling the house to a family with a little girl. It was like an open house viewing and then I invited them to stay (like on "Funny Farm"). I was cooking in a large kitchen (bigger than their actual kitchen) making them some dinner. The dad went to check on his daughter. I heard all of their names spoken. The dad was Eugene, the daughter was Emma-gene, and the mom had a "gene" name too. The daughter was only 3 or so and had gone upstairs. I went up too, and noticed that the stairs were not safe. They had gaps large enough for Emma-gene to fall through. (The stairs were very grand like on "Gone With the Wind"). I looked through a few rooms upstairs appreciating how royal looking and warm they were. I had in my mind that I would not sell the house. I came back down stairs sliding down the banister with Emma-gene in my arms and gave her to her parents.


I didn't mean to wait three days before posting... but often when you do wait (or if you'll go back to look at the weeks dreams before you analyze them) you'll find a common thread.
I could talk about these three as individuals, but for now I'm going to lump them together and see the common thread.
They are all about safety... and choosing one of two options.
All three deal with uncertainty, and not feeling safe.
Last night's dream, I knew where I wanted to go, but I let someone else choose the wrong way(they were driving),and I complained from the back seat. And the further we went down the "wrong" path, the more desolate and hopeless it became.
The middle dream (inspired no-doubt because Barb and her girls have been coming over making Christmas goodies with me three times in the past week,) dealt with the danger of the stairs and the choice of which cake was better.
Before that... I dealt again with dangerous stairs and the choice of whether or not to sell my grandparent's house.
Because the names were mentioned and because they all had the root of "gene" I thought I'd look that up. The name Eugene and just Gene mean "well-born, noble" Emma means "whole, complete, universal".
It's interesting because my grandparent's house means a lot to me. When I dream of them it is always in a mansion (way bigger than their real home) and it always has to do with their legacy of faith to me. I attribute my Christian heritage to them and their raising my dad to be who he is. (Both my grandpa and my dad are preachers.) I can't even imagine thinking of selling my faith... and what does it mean that I thought of selling it to people who were noble? Was I selling it for nobility? Well either way I'm glad I decided not to in the end... but why bring up that the stairs were dangerous for the little girl? hmmmm. Just an excuse?
Does that run into the other dream of making excuses for why not to go out to the entry way... "it's too dangerous". I have often debated if the friendship I have there is "good for me" or not. Knowing a lot about people (hence the thin walls that we could hear through) especially when you think what they are doing is dangerous... can be uneasy.
Then we have other people driving my life. It happens quite often with me.
I REALLY need to learn this lesson.

To me/from me:
"Drive your own life... You don't need excuses to make decisions that are about you to begin with. Safe is just a frame of mind... You're only scared because you're scared of what others will think/say/or be hurt by. Man up!"

Tidal Wave

Real quick... (Cause I gotta go to church)

Last night I had a dream inside a dream.
I had a dream that there was a tidal wave and that my family was safe. Then I woke up (inside the dream) and was getting up with my husband. We lived in an old Victorian three story house up on a hill. We got dressed and I noted that everyone else was asleep. That included my kids and my aunt and one other child... maybe my niece or nephew. We were all on the top floor. I walked down stairs with my husband and out to the front porch. I looked down the hill to the main street of the town. (The hill we were on was at least a half a mile above the rest of the town). We were both standing there like with our morning coffee or something and a white rolling cloud could be seen in the distance. As I focused on it I could tell it was a tidal wave crashing through the city. I looked at my husband and said, "I dreamed this! Don't worry, we'll be OK. We need to go upstairs." We thought about waking everyone up, but I had a peace about being OK, so we didn't.
Then I woke up for real... pretty freaked.

Weird huh?

Reunion at a Water Park

I was texting my old friend Paul last night shortly before bed time... telling him that facebook doesn't give me "enough" of him. It's all so surface driven (which is good for the internet,) but I wanted to know more about where he was at in life.

When I was a teenager I often went out with guys just because they liked me. Paul was one of those guys that I never knew a thing about until we dated. It's a terrible method of dating and I preach against it to my daughter all the time, but that's what I did back then. If I found out they were "bad", or even if I knew they were beforehand, I hoped I would make them better. People call that missionary dating; I was queen of that method. Nothing ever happened to the boys I dated to make them better while I was in their life, but I have had multiple old boy friends tell me all these years later that I impacted them greatly. Few with stories of God, but most with stories of self-worth. I'm happy about that.

Well... last night I dreamed that I met Paul again at a reunion. The reunion was in a pool at a water park. All kinds of people from Aviano AFB HS were there, all swimming.
It was a deep pool with rocks on the sides and rivers trailing from it in a couple directions. The official reunion was only at that pool, though there were slides and other attractions all around. I was not aware of the other surroundings at the start of the dream... only the big pool with all my classmates.
I saw Paul and swam over to him. I floated my body up to the surface while we said our hellos and I took off something. Not sure if I had been fully dressed and was now in a swimsuit, or if I took off part of my swimsuit. I embraced Paul and then closed my eyes. He held me in a head lock and we talked. Only my head was above water now, with Paul's arm acting like a life preserver keeping me afloat. There was some "inappropriate" touching, and I asked if he should be doing that with all these people around. He laughed and said, "we're not there anymore", "I wouldn't do that in front of anyone." I opened my eyes and pulled away to find that we were now further down one of the lazy rivers that flowed from the pool. We continued down the river and on to multiple water slides, laughing and having a great time. After the third or fourth slide we went to get back into the lazy river but the entry stairs were over crowded with small children. Paul asked my what my intentions were. I explained to him that I had no desire to cheat on my husband and that I was very happy in my marriage. He was happy with that news. We stared at the obstacle of kids in front of us on the stairs and decided to try to jump over them. Right as I jumped the scene changed and I was no longer in the river or with Paul. I was now with my friends Shawn Kuver and the Rhodes sisters (Erin and Michelle), also from HS in Aviano. We were walking through a cruise ship type of hallway with red velvety carpets. There were trays of food and things nearby like we were at the back end of a restaurant. There was a piano sitting in the hallway and Shawn sat down to play, (well, goof off on it at least). One of my old youth group leaders, Jill, walked up to us and gave me a disapproving look. I took her queue and walked away.
Then I woke up.

Interesting dream, yes?
Water and pools etc. for me usually are about refreshing, cleansing, relaxing things. There was never a "bad" moment in the dream... even the inappropriate touch didn't feel "wrong". I think that with most dreams of sexual stuff the symbolism is more about intimacy than actual sex. (Of course, I could have been inputting my evening with my husband into part of my dream.) Anyway, I think that the dream speaks of having a private "deeper level" conversation with Paul (away from facebook... which is basically a reunion in itself), enjoying that, and both of us viewing our kids as obstacles that block that relaxing experience, the carefree life of when we knew each other.
As for the cruise ship part of the dream... I think it speaks of mischief. Shawn was most definitely one of my most troublesome friends. Especially given that Jill (a conscience symbol) snapped me out of it... I think that it was just a warning, still related to Paul... to not cause mischief.

My Sister's Bungalow

Last night's dream:
I was in a room at a camp type setting with my sister. (Yes, her again... perhaps I should really talk to her next time she visits. ;-)
Anyway the room grew as we stayed there. It started very bungalow-esk and then by the time the dream was over it was like our godparent's (the Love's) house. (Yes, their last name is Love. ...which I'm sure has a significance to the dream's meaning.)
At first we were just settling in. Then there was a hamster that we had to take care of. (I'm pretty sure that imagery came from the Kia Soul Hamster commercial that played at the movie theater yesterday.)
The hamster was a hand full. I was trying to set him up in a Barbie doll house. (Last Wednesday I also saw "Toy Story 3".)
Anyway, as we gathered things and as we got ready for bed the small bungalow room became a two story house (also somewhat bungalowy ala the movie I saw yesterday "Knight and Day", when they were on the secluded island... but with just enough of the Love's house to recognize it.)
There was a movie on the TV; a western. (The TV was always on at the Love's). The stairs were the same as the ones that led up to the Love's game room. (The same stairs I fell down when I was a kid and knocked out my front tooth.)
I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I remember that I was trying to go to bed/fall asleep, and I couldn't, I was uneasy about something. (I did have a hard time sleeping for real last night. On this diet I'm drinking LOTS of water, and I had to get up and pee 5 times!)

Meaning... well, my sister lives in an early 1900's bungalow style house (not the type of tropical bungalow I was dreaming of, but perhaps it was just about the name bungalow that would point me to her.) So here I am at my sister's house... kind-of, but we were both looking around and getting settled. It was also the Love's house... our "god"parents from childhood. This could be a stretch, but perhaps it's about showing her God's love, and getting her settled in His house, which would be Him inside of her... still "her" house. My uneasy feeling comes around often when I think of her "walk" with God.
As for the hamster and the Barbie house, I'm pretty sure that's just media getting in there. I was a big Barbie freak as a child though. My daughter had a hamster once, and at that point in her life we often called her by my sister's name because they were so alike.
Well, no more time to think, I've got to go to church.

Awkward

My first dream:
I was with my mom and dad. We were at a mall because I wanted to go shopping. We had been walking for a very long time through halls with shops along the sides behind windows and doors. (It reminded me of Las Vegas when you have to go through a long hallway of shops from the parking garage to the main casino area.) The building we were in was old though; it was brick, and looked like a museum. After walking and still not shopping for a very long time, I actually said, "This mall is more like a museum." It was about at that point that we 'got some where'. My mom, in answer to my question, said, "Well let's go down this way." We started down some stairs that led to a Marie Calendars, but the stairs soon became a ladder. There were rungs every few feet, but the main handle on the sides was only every 6 feet. For some reason I wasn't using any of the middle rungs, only one every 6 feet that lined up with the handle. I was dropping, only holding the sides for the entire length of my body each time. My parents were coming down the ladder rung by rung, but face first... like they were crawling "spidey-style" down towards me.  I complained about the ladder. Almost directly after the complaint (and my mind thinking about what I was doing, and how I could do it differently) we were at the bottom. Instead of going through the restaurant, or sitting down, we went just to the right of the ladder where there was a bed. My mom lay on the bed on the right side, and I lay on my belly with my head and arms dangling off the end on the left side. Again, I stopped and realized what I was doing, and repositioned myself. The bed was very lumpy and I said it was better before. My mom thought that maybe I just needed less noise to be able to sleep, so I went to turn off the TV (no longer in the restaurant atmosphere). When I got to the TV I noticed that it had been recording every show for the past like 6 or so hours. I took some time to try to delete each show. (Probably more from my ipod frustration the other day... cause now I have so many unwanted songs to delete.)  The dream ended in frustration.


My next dream was far weirder.

I was riding the back seat of an open-air jeep type vehicle with four guys in the front and two more in the back with me. They almost all had guns (very skinny and short ones of varying colors, which they talked about,) and we were driving through a neighborhood to do a drive-by shooting. They weren't aiming for people, but they wanted to scare the residents. They were all very "hard" looking, and talked in a way that said "gang" to me. We went around this neighborhood like three times, each time I faced inward and didn't look at what they were shooting at off the left side. (I was in the far left of the back seat.) When they were satisfied with their shooting we headed for the leaders house. As we approached the house a small squirrelish animal (without a tail) got on my leg and tried to hump it. I grabbed him to remove him but he just grabbed on to my arm and did the same. I told the guy in the back seat about it and he said, "Just let him do his thing." At this the squirrel bit me and latched on again to my leg. I shook him off as we exited the car at the leader’s house. Once we were in I looked down at the clothes I was wearing. I was dressed like a streetwalker, and shortly after, treated like one. At this point in the dream, unlike in the car, I was playing the role. I smacked my gum, I spoke 'gangsta' and used my body (which was rather slim in the dream) to entertain. At one point there was poop on the floor and I had to clean it up before anyone saw. I knew my place in the gang; I was basically dirt.

A large screen came down from the ceiling and they began to play music videos. The walls of the house went away and the area became huge with three different levels for watching a concert. It wasn't like a stadium, but there were a few seats scattered around and outdoor heaters here and there. A band came to the screen/stage and started to set up. I started to make my way as far away from the gang as I could, I ran into my husband on the top level near a heater and stood with him. The youth pastor from our church, Josh, was there and was announcing this as a "Tribes" event. (That's the name of the youth's Wednesday night service.) I looked around and saw Tribes posters. The gang members and a whole bunch of other people scattered around the place.

Then I woke up.

Who am I?

Tis the week of disturbing dreams, I have decided.

Last night's started with my daughter and I going to her first 'female exam'. It was in a college class room on a table. The room was very large and upstairs. The table was near a window. There were a total of three doctors, each came in one at a time. They were going to fill her "cavity" with some sort of mold making plaster substance. (I think this strange concept came from my husband's inner ear sound system molds that arrived yesterday.)  When the last Dr. came in he wanted to shave her and give her a "wig" made of the hair on her head... which was red in the dream. I told him not to shave her completely, explaining to him and her that it would itch like crazy when the hair grew back in.  He left the room and we escaped. We went down a corridor and some stairs and ended up at my home from my late teens ;(the home that my daughter was born at).

While we were there my dad was talking to me about laundry and a trip. I went outside and sat on the driveway with my two dogs: one from then, and one from now. Back then I had a small Cocker Spaniel mix, and now I have an American Stoffordshire Terrier, so they were quite opposite sitting out there with me. A lady with a stroller walked by and my small dog walked over to see her. 

My parents came out and said it was time for our trip, so I put the dogs away and we got into a van. I sat in the back of the van. We drove to the snow to go skiing. There were a few of us that didn't have socks, so when we reached to snow we had to stop and buy some. I already had on my ski boots when we got out of the van to go in the store. I feel on my butt directly out of the van in some ice, and again inside the store. The whole time I was walking to the store and even inside for part of the time I was texting my daughter's ex-boyfriend, Nick. The store was open on one side like it had multiple garage doors that were all opened that day. It was a packed store and very "costco"-ish. After I looked at a few things I made my way to some metal steps by the street and sat down. I feel asleep. Water rising up to my feet woke me up. I was a little girl, like maybe 6 or 7. I knew I had left my younger sister on another step, so even though I heard my dad calling me, I went back into a tower of sorts that had another metal stairway going down the center to get my sister. She too was down in some water as I pulled her up and we climbed the stairs together. She was blonde and about 4. (My daughter was blonde when she was 4.   hmmm.)

And that was the end of the dream.

Aside from the inner ear molds, there is nothing about this dream that resembles anything from the past few weeks, so it is most definitely not just a compilation of my thoughts.

I'm not sure I want to find out what it all means. 

For reoccurring themes... there's the laundry... and that's about it. hmmmmm. Again, I have to wonder if I was me the whole time, or if while I was texting Nick, was I my daughter? 

Anyway, I'll think about it. For now, I have to go get my kids to school.

"Chasms"

I forgot to post yesterday.

The dream was about my husband and I on a cruise ship.

There was a swimming "pool" in the middle of the ship that was actually a rectangular cut-out in the boat that opened up to the ocean water. I was walking around the "pool" in a robe/blanket and fell in. I was very close to the ladder, so it didn't take long to get out, but I was scared of the depth of the water and possible sharks.

When I got out I went straight to my room which was at the top right corner of the pool around a corner and up a few steps.

I stripped and followed my husband into the bathroom. We were both naked and I was embarrassed of my size. (My husband has recently lost 40+ pounds, and I have stayed put... so now we are within 5 pounds of each other.)

This past night's dream should have been memorable. However, a minute after I woke up I only remembered one part...  and here it is...

I was over a huge chasm in space.  I was standing on the edge of an asteroid and had to get across to another one that was like a block away. There were two smaller rocks floating below. They were gray and looked like lava rock. I jumped from one ledge and touched one of the lower rocks. It was just big enough for one foot, but the minute you touched it, you bounced/floated up and over to the next rock. (It was very video game-esk). I should have been jumping much higher, but with each jump the rocks kept going lower and lower. I went from 10 feet below the two asteroid ledges to 20ft, and it was becoming more and more obvious that I was not going to make it across.

That's all I can remember though I know the whole dream was pretty trippy.

It's a bit interesting that both dreams have a chasm of sorts. One of the ocean and one of space. I was fearful of both and trying to get out of both. One I fell in by accident, and One I jumped in because I thought I saw a clear way across.  One I got out of safely, the other I never got out of.

"notes, prayers and conferences"

Last night was like dream central.

But, I only remember the last one.

I was at my best friend from childhood's house in a room with her mom and siblings. We were all talking, then Vanessa (my BF) pulled me into her room to look through some old notes. Her little sister Anne came in with some drawings she had done for me. (Anne is now totally grown up, but in my dream she was very little like I remember her.) I wanted to look at our notes, but Anne kept putting crayon pictures under my nose. There was a brass bed and white vanity in the room, all very girly.

Then I walked outside and on to a crowded Italian street. (We lived in Italy when I was a teenager. Vanessa lived there with me. We were both Air Force brats.) Vanessa was no longer part of the dream but other people from high school were popping up all over. I was headed up a set of stairs (ala Venice) and there were a few old friends heading down. I turned to follow them.

My ex-boyfriend Shane was walking with the group, along with his friends Kevin and Jay. Shane started to pray. I listened very intently (they didn't know I could hear). I was overjoyed at the sincerity of his prayer. Then Kevin prayed, his was a little less, but satisfied me none-the-less.  Then Jay prayed and made a big joke of it; saying, "God, did you see the bunch of $#&*$% nerds up there..." then faded into a laugh. Shane prayed again, and I continued following them into a sanctuary. Shane's sister was there, along with many many other familiar faces, and some non familiar faces.

I tried to find a seat, but no one would let me sit near them. I turned, and my husband was with me, so I took his hand and headed for the front. Towards the end I slid down the aisle on my butt and said, "weee". He was embarrassed.

We sat down and realized that the event was a John Bevere marriage conference.

The big screen came on and played a promo for what we were about to see. The advertisement started with a very boring lecture snapshot and a snapshot of an audience member yawning. Then it cut to John Bevere speaking in his overly zealous way, bouncing around stage. The voice-over said something to the effect of "you won't be bored here". 

Then to my right I saw one of John's traveling companions talking to the lady seated by her. The two women were slightly up in the tiered seating. She said, "well usually you won't be bored. I don't know what went wrong at our last conference; there wasn't much response."

 ...I woke up questioning the validity of the conference.

Perhaps the John Bevere part was suppose to remind me to take some DVDs to my pastor's wife today. I forgot anyway.

I'm hoping that Shane praying sincerely was a window into reality. I've been waiting for decades for him to take God seriously. Not to say that he doesn't in a small way, but not in a "change your life" kind of way.

"Speaking at a Pub"

In last night's dream I was at a pub that had two floors like the "Capital Garage" used to when it was open in down town Sac. The people were listening to someone talking. I interrupted the guy, or maybe he was finished when I got up to speak, but I took the stage and started talking about the end of the world. (You can see the types of things I said at my other blog (allabouttheend.blogspot.com). When I was finished a crowd gathered around me asking questions and saying that they really enjoyed my lecture. 

I made my way up stairs with two guys who worked there.  One of them did a back flip in the loft area, then they left to clean up down stairs.  When they were gone I did a back flip too. (These were like trampoline back-flips, not on the floor, but jumping in the air and landing on your feet.) The guys came back up stairs and I told them I could do it too. They didn't believe me and asked me to prove it. At that point we were in the middle of the floor. I tried to jump but the wooden floor was to squishy at that spot. We moved over a few feet, but it was still too soft. So I walked back over to where I had done the first flip; the ground there was firmer, with just a little give. They had to move a ping-pong table out of the way for them to stand there, but I did my flip. I barely landed on my feet, grazing my butt on the uptake. They were only some-what impressed.

The scene changed to having sex with my husband... which lasted a while... then I got up and went to the bathroom. The small sectioned off room with the toilet in it (which is how it is at my house) was flooded with dirty water from the potty. It was gross. I yelled for my husband... 

...Then woke up.

I know the speaking in public thing was brought on by incidences from the last few days.

At my Thursday bible study my friend Rene was on my case to get back to doing my dresses for a fashion show I'm working on based on the 7 Feasts. (I've been on my own case. It frustrates me that I haven't finished the one project standing in my way.) This show may also lead to a speaking opportunity to "explain" the gowns, which has a lot to do with the eschatology. 

Then on Friday I went to a Bible study at another church. It was my first visit. I had an unusual boldness there and spoke up whenever I had something to add to the teaching. (That is something I don't do.  ...but did.)

And finally yesterday I was at a baby shower and one of the ladies had heard about my "end times" study and she asked me about it. I rambled off some authors she might want to look at and gave her a brief synopsis of my views. She said, "You should teach on this. Have you ever talked to Pastor Scott about it?" I said, "No. The official view of the Pentecostal church is pre-trib, so I really don't think he'd go for it." 

All of these incidences, as well as the dream, are really making me think though, of who I could speak to.  Who would be interested?  Where should I go?  hmmmm.

As for the rest of the dream. I think the flip was from a boost of confidence, but that my confidence doesn't work so well when someone is watching.

The sex part, and the flooded toilet... I'm not sure.

"Demon Fighting 101"

Busy dream night last night.  Not a very good sleep night, might I add.

Before I explain the dreams I'll point out how my yesterday went to note why I was dreaming such crazy stuff.

Almost all of my day yesterday was spent reading a book about the Anti-Christ by Joel Richardson. For about thirty minutes yesterday I watched part of a Prophetic seminar DVD that mentioned encounters with demon possessed people. 

I am also waiting to hear from my friend Paul, and he came up in a conversation I had right before bed. 

And finally last night I had a sexual escapade with my husband.

Given that was my day, these dreams won't seem so weird.

#1 Paul and I were going through backyards to get to his house and got caught by a cop for trespassing. 

(simple enough. I did have a FB conversation with an old mutual friend about backyards without fences, and I did get caught by an animal patrol guy with my dog off-leash a day ago.)

#2 I found a black clutch purse in a public restroom by a parking garage. I spent some time in the restroom washing my hands and drying them. Then I took the purse with me to my apartment. I had my small dog from when I was a kid with me as I went up several flights of stairs and into a small apartment. When we got into the apartment I realized that I hadn't let my dog go to the bathroom, so I opened the door to the balcony and told her to go out there. The balcony was really a room with shelves and a desk and closet, but the floor was rough concrete like a balcony. The minute I put her down I noticed a large husky looking dog at the window peering in. I quickly picked up my dog and made a dash for the door. The demonic husky looking dog leaped into the balcony room and chased us. We barely made it through the door (all slow motion-y) before he caught up with us. I tried to close the door but his paw/hand was blocking it. I got it locked with his hand still there, and then his other hand burst through the wall by the door frame on the other side. (He was more like a werewolf  than a dog) I ran out of my apartment to try to get the manager to come help me. I yelled up and down the stairwell for help, but no one was listening. I finally grabbed a guy and made him come with me.

Then I woke up.

I went back to sleep (It was only 1:00) and dreamed this one...

#3 I was in a house that was kinda 70's in feel. I was being attacked by a ball of fire with a human face. I didn't see the face till the end of the dream. During the dream I asked three different people to fight the 'demon'. I'd say, "through him out the window", and they would, but it would float back in. Finally my husband, who looked like Aaron Eckhart in this dream (the dude who played Harvey Dent/ Two-face in Batman) fought off the demon fire ball and won. The face on the fireball was Aaron Eckhart as well.

(Creepy huh?)

#4 Started as a replay of my sexual escapade with my husband. However, just a while into the foreplay his good friend came over and (for lack of wanting to be graphic), lent some assistance. Directly following a short time of  that my husband and I were leaving. My husband got up and walked away and his friend forced himself on me. My husband came back and pushed him off. His friend morphed into the werewolf creature from my previous dream and I clocked him right in the jaw. His entire jaw detached and went partially down his throat. I asked what happened and he gave me this weird cartoon like grin with no teeth. I said, "Oh, I'm sorry," and started to fix his jaw by pulling it out to it's normal level and hooking wires that went from his teeth to his flesh. His teeth were more like human teeth but in a long dog like snout. The wires reminded me of braces.

And that's the end of my crazy night.

Please God, let tonight's dreams be better. :-)

A Reaccuring Home, and a Kissing Lesson.

I had two dreams last night. One was simply touring and thinking about the house that I dream of for my parent's best friends, the Gores. There house is nothing like the one I dream of, but whenever I dream of them, it's the house I put them in.  And the whole dream seems to center around the layout of the house. It's a huge house. It even grows. Last night's house did not have as big of an upstairs as it usually does, in fact it was a fourth of it's usual size. It only had a bedroom for their oldest daughter Hannah. The office part of the house that I have hardly ever noticed before had grown immensely.  The side porch was prominent and there was a fenced in side yard that had a slope down to the sidewalk. The kitchen was open to the family room, the dining room, and the breakfast nook. I thought about the blueprints and even about building it somewhere else, and changing the yard around.

Why is that interesting? Well, my mom's best friend died a while back and this past year the husband remarried. Their oldest daughter moved back in with them with her new baby, so the dynamics have changed substantially.

I haven't talked to them in a while, but it would be interesting to find out if business is taking up more time.  I know that many of their prayers focus on their daughter, which could be why her room was the only thing upstairs.

My other dream involved Guy's sister again, this time she was wanting my boyfriend, and I even told her that when I was finished with him she could teach him more. I was teaching him (who had the same name as my husband, and looked like a cross between Percy Jackson {from The Lightening Thief movie I saw yesterday}and my pastor's son), how to kiss. There was other stuff that surrounded it.... I can't remember now, but the main thing was teaching him how to kiss.

The interesting thing is that to kiss something, in the old days (Biblical), was to worship it. We saw a lot of kissing on out tour at the Greek Orthodox places. There were people kissing the rock that Jesus supposedly prayed on in the garden... stuff like that. (Idolatry really, but they don't know any better.)

Trickery

I woke up at 3:45 with this one fresh in my mind. I made a point to go over it a few times before I fell back to sleep since I haven't been remembering my dreams for the past few days. (I think the jet lag is making me have my main dream at a different time than normal.)

The setting was similar to Jerash (one of the sites we saw on our trip in Jordan). There were cobble stone streets, lots of rocks like steps to sit on and small passage ways people were going into and out of. 

We (my husband and I) were at a reunion full of people from my high school in Italy and some from my junior high in California. It almost felt like a cruise.

Anyway, there was a pairing off going on. I won't say mandatory, because the same thing has happened in other dreams of mine where I felt like it was mandatory, only to find out later that it wasn't, and my husband gets mad and betrayed. However un-mandatory this was I went ahead and paired off with a boyfriend I had in 7th grade named Dale. (Interesting that that is my professor's name, but other wise I see no significance.) I was with a girl friend of mine who was looking for a boy for herself. She saw one she likes, but I insisted that another one is better. She ate the one I pointed out (with one big chomp like a video game) and went to ask the one she preferred. He said, "No". Then I pointed out that she should have chosen the one I said, which made her sad. 

Right about then a bunch of us sat down and were talking about my old friend Guy. People had memories of him bragging about his possessions but that we never actually saw them. Guy came into the group and explained that his dad would give him things, then they wouldn't be usable at his mom's house. I few people thought he was lying, but it appeased the rest of us.

Then I saw my husband across the room twirling a camera like a pistol with a sly look in his eye. He was taking sneaky shots of people around the party. Right after we made eye contact he took one of Guy's sister walking up the stairs with a slitted dress on that when she stepped revealed her 'girls parts'. The photo was instantly visible by everyone there. Guy's sister was outraged. The my husband proceeded to take another girl's picture closer to me. Immediately after that picture was taken, it was exposed that they were are in collusion with each other to prank the rest of us. (Or maybe to get me back for pairing off with Dale?)

This whole mandatory/non mandatory pairing off thing has been in 4 or 5 dreams of mine since October. I think it has something to do with my inability to say, "no". Growing up, most of my decisions were made for me by my sister or my parents. Once I was peer pressure age I really didn't think I had a choice with my life's daily decisions. I went along with everything the group did unless it really went counter to my core beliefs. This often led to going out with guys I didn't like, even on occasions when the one I did like liked me back.  People like me tend to end up as doormats our whole life, or when we finally find our voice we speak it way too forcefully to make up for the years of abuse.  Some find a happy medium. I am striving for the happy medium.

I'm not sure why Guy is popping up in my dreams. He was in the "Cliff Climbing" one too. I do think the jabbing by my husband that surrounds my personality flaw is quite accurate. He can't stand my inability to say 'no', or my counter act of speaking my opinion too forcefully when I've reached boiling.

Escape

The dreams starts at a representation of my parent's home. I'm in the bathroom, just took a shower. When I get out, I realize that we won't have enough time to take Nick (my daughter's boyfriend) swimming. I talk with my parents and my daughter about it.  They suggest going to see a movie. 

When we get to the theater I never notice my daughter or Nick again. I get very wrapped up in the movie; like I'm in it.

The movie is very violent. I am with a hand full of inmates in jail, but we are the good guys. It seems that we have no weapons, and all the inmates around me are talking about escape.  The guards come to the bars of our cell. We have something posted on the wall that they want to take down. One lady inmate with me encourages them to reach in and get it. The guard tells us all to stand back. As he reaches his hand in the inmate lady throws her hand from across the cell at his hand. Her hand has wolverine claws poking out of it and it's on a string. The claws puncture the guards hand, and the inmate pulls the string back.  Again and again this happens. I am suddenly aware that I'm watching the movie, not in it, and I notice the crowd around me, and am self-conscious that I have brought my ten year old son to this rated R movie. The name "Bakugan" and there are three stages right in the midst of the seating. Characters are being pushed off into the stage, from the seats, and they are dying in this smokey liquid.
comes to mind. I think we're at a Bakugan movie, which explains to me why my son is there.  As I tell myself that, I look around and there are other areas with a more cartoon like scene. The movie theater has morphed into an outdoor amphitheater

We start to exit the theater by walking forward down the seats.  An usher tells us to go to the side, so we don't fall in. We walk by two stages, then down.

We get into a small Italian Fiat and drive on very crowded cobblestone streets. A cop on a motorcycle tries to pull me over but there is no side to pull over to. I go through three streets looking for a place then finally stop at a market.  It is now just my son and I with the cop and a dog.

The cop stops to get some dried mushroom looking things and other herbs. As he is taking a while I tell my son that we're going to try to make a break for it. We tell the dog to stay behind.  It takes twice for the dog to listen to us. The cop is looking around for us.  We start to crawl through the crowd. We crawl under a trampoline, and another, on the side of what looks like a market square with all sorts of goods.

We are headed to school to pick up my daughter. 

When we get to the school we are still crawling.  (It is a similar school  to another dream I have had, with sterile long hallways and few doors.) The hallways are like rolling hills. We still sense that the cop is on our tail.  Finally I say, " We don't have to crawl; lets try boucing."

So we bounce. We bounce on the floor like we're bouncing on a trampoline, still moving forward down the hall.  We get to the library and start looking for my daughter. She is in a crowd of people, some of which are my old classmates.

Then I woke up.

Wow. It was all one dream, with a fairly central theme, but so many different settings. Very strange. Yesterday was an interesting day. I watched a cute little movie called "The Maiden Heist". I found out my son hadn't even really started on a huge project that is due soon, so we had to run to the library... to find nothing on the shelves... then to the book store... nothing. Then home... ordered a book on line with rush delivery since we are leaving on a 2 week trip Monday. Shortly after that we left for church and stayed gone til bed time.

Some of that may explain why the library at the end, and why the school in general... but what about the rest?

I'd like to think that going from crawling to bouncing in the hallways with my son is saying that together we can get past his lagging in school work.  This is the first year that math has gotten hard for him, and he often cries while we do homework.  Then finding out he hasn't even started his report. UGGG. I really hope we can go from "crawling" to "bouncing". 

And perhaps crawling under trampolines was symbolic of also taking the hard, not fun, road when there is obviously something fun right on top of you. We were crawling out of fear of the cop. Who is the cop? His teacher? (He does fear her.  You would too as a fourth grader.)

Going back though, to the beginning of the dream, I don't know if I understand the stadium stuff or the movie. (We are going to an ancient Roman Colosseum in Jordan on our trip next week.) (And a few days back my daughter showed me a you-tube video of two guys getting wolverine claws... gruesome, but funny.) I guess that's a little of an explanation, but I'd still like to know if they had any meaning, or just my brain flushing itself.

Because my son was present and active the whole dream, I am sure it was about him and me together. But honestly, except for the bouncing, it wasn't a "feel good" dream. It was tense. 

hmmm...

You have to go down to get up.

The dream's setting is a magnificent hotel building. There is a massive round foyer, grand curved stairways on both sides, white marble with black accent marble tiles; it's just grand.

The dream starts down a hallway where I'm looking for my room along with dozens of other women all there for an event. I know many of them. As I'm realizing that my room is on the next level up, I hear a woman wish out loud for a cappuccino. "I got a cappuccino maker for Christmas. It's in my room," I say. (It's true, I did get one for Christmas.) I continue up the stairs only to find that there is no entry to the hallway up there. I look over the edge to the grand entry room below and ask the woman attendant there how do I get to the hallway. She says, "You have to come down to get to the stairs that go up." I think that's pretty silly, but I come down anyway. When I get down I go into a lounge area. There are snooty women sitting around drinking and talking, all wearing formals.  I'm wearing a formal now too. I see some old classmates from high school and they are wearing formals as well. (All women by the way.) A lady comes in to tell us that they set up the event in the wrong room, and that she will try to get them to carry all the stuff over here where it's supposed to be. So we are told to wait patiently. A few friends and I walk around looking at the space. There is a room being prepared for a new member. I know the girl that the room is being prepared for, so I watch with excitement. The walls are mirrored and grand and there is a man stamping a small black brick pattern on some of the walls. I suggest he put some color splashes under the black for a nice effect. He tries red, and it looks great. I accidentally smudge a brick, and he fixes it as I move away. We see that she also gets a cool circular entryway room that leads to the foyer. It is mirrored as well. As we mosey back into the lounge area the same lady comes back and says, "The dinner is ready to be plated.  We will just all move over to the other room. Don't worry, I'll make sure you girls are in the court." (Meaning the Homecoming court.) We follow her out.

You don't always get to go straight to your room. And sometimes you have to go down to get up. Sometimes things aren't working like they should. Sometimes when you're being helpful, you mess something up at the same time. You can be excited for other people's blessings. And... even if the party starts before you get there, you may still hold a place of honor.

I'm sure I could look into the detail's symbolism too, but it's actually not raining right now, and my dog is staring at me like, "Please take me for a walk." We haven't been able to walk for nearly a week because of the rain. He walks on the treadmill, but it's just not the same.

Oh, I thought you might mike to see the mural I did on Tuesday... (sorry for the fuzziness.)