Floating and Peeing

OK, so I had a very strange but cool dream last night.
There was more to it, but this is the only part I remember.

I was sitting on the potty, peeing, when I started to float upwards. I pulled myself back down to the toilet seat because I was not done peeing. As soon as I let go of the seat, I started floating again... still peeing.
At that point I thought about what was happening, and realized how cool it was that I was floating, so I went with it. (Mind you, this entire dream is feeling VERY realistic, and at this point, I think it's really happening, because the setting is exactly my house. It's as if I got up in the middle of the night to pee... which I do often.)
I floated to the ceiling and was bending forward so as not to hit the ceiling. I was still "seated" but rolled forward. I floated into the bedroom (still peeing) and woke up my husband. "Look, look, I'm flying!" I said. (All the while, peeing on the floor, the bed, everything.) He woke up and looked up at me. He wasn't impressed; he was more concerned that I was peeing on the bed. So I floated back to the bathroom. It was at this point, before I actually made it to the toilet, that I realized I was dreaming and woke up to roll over.

As gross as the continual pee thing was, I had a blast floating around my room. It felt so real, and I am thankful that I got to experience that.

As for meaning. I would almost surely conclude that it has to do with my weight struggle. I am feeling good about my progress, but I am still majorly struggling with the discipline of it all. I am getting rid of a lot of wrong thinking, and other stuff that I'd equate with piss. :-) However, even though I'm floating (which is awesome), my husband is not impressed; he's more concerned with the "piss" that is coming out, which is unpleasant.

"JJ's RV Jet", and "BFs Visit"

Two quite interesting dreams last night, very unlike any I've had for a while.

The first started on a private jet owned be my nephew in-law (highly unlikely). The jet was gutted and the inside looked like an RV. My nephew (JJ) was piloting and I was in back with my niece and her four girls, and 5 puppies. (Her dog had puppies back in January, and the last one was given away less than a month ago, so that's fresh in my mind.) We landed in a field that was partially dirt, partially grass, and looked like a camping area. There was another family nearby at a group of picnic tables. I played with the girls and the puppies for a while and then moved away from the jet towards the picnic table. My niece and her husband were dancing by a table and singing to some country music (again, highly unlikely) as if they were at a hoedown. I was very happy to see them so happy, but then I thought about the puppies. They were over near the jet unsupervised. I walked over there and some had wondered near the street and some were playing right where we left them. My dog Knuckles was there with them. He was done 'puppy-sitting'. We gathered up the puppies and I counted them as we boarded. Knuckles jumped up to sit in the co-pilot seat, and I can't remember for sure, but I think I got up to pilot this time.
The scene changed and we were at a stadium. We were walking up to our seats and about to watch a movie. I think it was "The Rescuers", (with the mice and the orphan 'Penny'.) All four girls, my niece, and JJ were sitting down and I was carrying popcorn etc. to the seats. (Maybe this is because I have been talking about taking them to a movie lately.)


In the next dream I was back with my two BFs from high school, Vanessa and Michelle. (In real life I just returned from a visit with them at Michelle's parents house in Maryland.) We were arriving at Michelle's parent's house again, even though in the dream it looked a little different. It resembled a doll house (which it kinda does in real life too). I had to go to the bathroom but each bathroom I went in had flushing problems, noted by paper still in the bowl, which I tried to flush with no luck. So I didn't want to add to the problem.
Everyone was getting ready to go out to eat, so I just decided I would go to the restroom at the restaurant. Vanessa, and I walked down to a ballroom that was attached to the hotel that we were now in somehow. and Michelle and her mom went on to see if our reservations at the restaurant were ready.
The ball room was set up with long banquet tables at one side and a huge dance floor in the middle. We went ahead and took a seat at a table with two other older men. Food started coming out and since we were hungry we started to eat. After a course or two, Michelle and her mother came in to get us to go to the restaurant. We said we would rather stay there since we had already started and also wouldn't have to walk any further. After a little protesting they stayed. Michelle had on a trench coat over a pink sequined gown that had a huge slit up the front. Vanessa was wearing purple, and I'm not sure what I was wearing as the dream was seen in first person. All three of us danced like little girls playing "princess" across the dance floor holding hands with Michelle in a circle. And that was all.

As for meaning...
Modes of transportation (as we've talked about before) symbolize life direction and circles of influence. For instance, bicycles are about the individual who's riding them and no one else. Family cars (especially with family in them) are about the driver's influence over their family circle. Buses deal with bigger sphere's of influence, trains and planes bigger still. It's important to note if you are a passenger or the driver.
In my first dream JJ was driving a private jet. A private jet, though small in influence is still different than a car. It's flying, not driving. The significance of that could be about soaring over obstacles, or being "above" in some way. It's a good thing though. The dancing that they were doing was good too, but both good things (jet and country music) were very unlike my niece and nephew. Perhaps it's saying something about them acting out of character in a good way soon. I don't know, but I was happy to see that I'm along for the ride.

My second dream, having to go to the bathroom (a typical theme for me) but not being able to because of "obstacles", could speak about not being able to say all that I wanted to say to my friend Michelle while we were there. We did talk about everything, but sometimes I couldn't think of words that would convey all I wanted to say. The "obstacle" present was a difference in our walks of faith. The day that Michelle left and it was just Vanessa and I for an evening we had a good talk and prayer about our individual (and joint) walks of faith. I imagine that is why Vanessa and I went to the ballroom and Michelle and her mom went to the restaurant in the dream. The good news is that Michelle later joined us in the ballroom and we danced like little girls. The trench coat she was wearing still signifies hiding in some way... Hiding a revealing but beautiful pink sequined gown. (As teens, pink was Michelle's favorite color.)

Advice and Tres Leche Cake

The night before last I had an "advice" dream, featuring my pastor's wife and a few other church ladies.
In the dream I was watching one of the worship leaders at my old church, and talking to my pastor's wife about my involvement. She was telling me that I needed to step it up. I also had to get my friend Terese's shoes in the dream. And in the dream Terese was wearing all brown. In one book I read the author said brown signifies pastoral stuff, but who knows. All I know is that it's pretty clear that I need to get my act together this coming year and not be so apathetic about my "assignments".

Last night I had two dreams; one about an ex of mine (Shane) making Tres Leche cake and I was instructing him. I was also noticing his muscular build and his air force hair-do. (This is new in dreams, cause typically I dream of him the way I remember him from high school or college days, not the way he is now.)
I think the part about the cake has to do with me being on a diet after so many sweets over Christmas, so now automatically my brain goes to what I can't have.
At the end of the dream my husband and kids were calling me to get in the car and leave. I told Shane he looked good and gave him a hug. Then I commented that he smelled good too, (I had a brief naughty thought, and must have been shocked at myself, cause I woke myself up.) :-)

The dream before that is fuzzy, but I remember one part in particular where I had to use the rest room and couldn't find it,(a common occurrence in my dreams). I finally found a green house looking building that was the rest room and I went in.
I could see through the glass walls, but they were dark and foggy with vines and such growing up around the outside so I didn't worry about people seeing in. I sat down, only to look behind me and see at least ten other people. I decided to just look forward (through the glass) and not think about what the others may be doing.
It was an odd dream, but then again, so are all of my "potty dreams".

White Water, and A Year Book Photo Shoot

So last night before 3:00 I had a strange dream of going from rock to rock in a white body of water. The rocks were all white and the water was milky. It was all white, and I was in the water, but didn't want to swim in it, instead I was trying to stay with at least one limb on a rock, like it was dangerous.
My dog Knuckles came in at 3:00 and woke me up.

After a brief potty break I went back to sleep and dreamed of high school. I was with my sister and two old boyfriends. My sister was with Donnie, and I was with Jay. We were all posing in various places for pictures for the year book. Mr. Leander (my old English teacher, and teacher in charge of Year book) was taking the pictures.
We were at a stadium of sorts, sometimes on the grass and sometimes on the bleachers. I walked behind Jay and felt his bare back. "You're back is great, and you have soft skin just like Michael." I said. (Speaking of my husband.) Jay's head was shaved (like now, not like in HS).
Half way through the picture taking, while we were at the top of the amphitheater in the middle of a picture of my sister and I, I got a zit on my upper lip on the left side. It hurt and was huge. I tried to pose in a way that it didn't show, but the first chance I got I ran down to the rest room. True to form, the line was out the door. I thought about it for a minute and rationalized that since I didn't need to pee I could skip the line and just go straight for the mirrors. I did. There were vanity stations in the middle of a large sterile room. The stations were made of stainless steel and the mirrors were behind cabinet doors on the stations. There was even a small round close up mirror at the station I chose. I popped the zit and it immediately subsided and I was able to go back with out worrying about it at all.
Then my alarm rang.

Pieces of the dream like the close up mirror and even the zit are things from yesterday. The zit being reminiscent of a picture I saw of my nephew with a swollen lip from an allergic reaction to Motrin. The mirror being from my son's bathroom, that I was telling him to use to brush his teeth so that he would do a better job.
Even the photo shoot was reminiscent of a shoot I recently did with one of my swell sister ladies for our portrait club. (My sister in the dream, could have been symbolically a "sister".)
Anyway... I have no idea about Donnie and Jay and Mr. Leander, or the settings.
Or the white water and rocks dream for that matter.
The white water dream actually intrigues me quite a bit more. I'll have to think about that one.

Sister Frida

I'm not sure if last night's dream was about my real sister, or my swell sisters (the art group I'm in).

I was in a small upper apartment that belonged to my "sister". (Oh, and before that there was something about going up in a parking garage.) Inside the apartment I went to the bathroom, which was open to the master bedroom. As I was sitting there my sister came in talking to some people. I didn't mind the other ladies that came in, but then a man came in and I gave my sister the evil eye, like, "get him outta here!"
There was a wall to my right that blocked him and others from seeing me unless they walked all the way into the room and looked back. I sat in fear that someone would come in far enough and do just that. The man was older and very large, and supposedly my sister's dad. I stayed on the toilet and started reading something I found on a table near by. It was a flier about a Frida Kahlo play. I read (or heard her say) that my sister was going to play 'the best Frida ever'! She was determined. As I thought about this, I could see my sister dressed up like Frida, and the whole thing form in my mind. I was going to play the "floozy". In my mind I saw Ann Jillian playing the part... and that's who I was going to try to be like. (ha!)
I got up and went to the closet. (It looked a lot like my mom's closet from when I was a teenager at VAFB.) A little Hispanic girl was there in the room with me, watching me look through the gowns. I saw multiple princess type dresses, but I was looking for something lounge singer-esk. I finally found a white flapper number that was made of mostly feathers. I started to put it on and noticed, out the window and over a balcony, lots of my sister's friends pulling up for a cast party.
Then I woke up.

Even though the person in my dream was clearly my sister, I think it could be about my swell sisters because they have a Frida Kahlo connection (where my sister does not). #2 this wouldn't be the first dream I've had where my real sister represented them. #3, the father in the dream was "her" father but not mine. He was very Diego Rivera-esk too, which would point back to my art group.
I'm not sure what "playing Frida" is about... simply about art... or more about her dramatic life... or about her illness? In my dream there was no art, and I saw more in my mind about the drama than anything.
Ann Jillian was the star of "Jennifer Slept Here" and old sitcom I used to watch when I was a kid. I thought she was so cool! I wanted to be like her. So, it's interesting that I picked her. I don't like the "other woman" in the Frida story. But here I was going to make her as cool as I ever wanted to be; Wearing white and everything. hmmm?
Another thing that stands out to me in the little girl in the room. The night before's dream had a little girl as well... randomly placed... who dropped her shoe in the pool and I fished it out. She was a little black girl... and this dream had a little Mexican girl. Both of them don't seem to be part of the story, but both are watching me as I do something. Interacting in a very subtle way. I wonder if it's not something about how little girls are watching me live my life... and what am I going to do to be a good example to them?
I help in kid's church once a month, and there are lots of little girls in there who look up to me. They grab my arm and snuggle up against it during our sitting down time. Or they tell me all about there pets at home. They pull at my dress and say it's pretty, or at the colored streak in my hair. I wonder (from the night before's dream) if my weight loss journey will effect a little girl... or if (from last night's) my dressing floozy-ish will effect another.
I'm debating on whether or not to get a tattoo... I wonder if that would effect a little girl.
In the book I finished a while ago the author was talking about the next generation of girls and what we will do to influence them. It's a huge calling, one that has been dropped by way too many people.
TV shows and commercials are raising our kids, instilling their values. My son watches the Disney channel a lot (as well as Cartoon network and Nickelodeon), and even aside from the shows that are on, the mini music videos they put between shows teach all the little girls that they need to look sexy and hard to be attractive. The shows teach boys that they are a few steps below girls in their intelligence, and that it's OK for them to be treated as pee-ons, but at the same time, that they get to control how girls look, because it's all about getting them aroused. Ugggg... I could go on about this, but you get the point.

Kid's Driving

My daughter is finally home, which means someone else is able to have the puppy sleep with them. :-) And that leads to me remembering more dreams!

Last night I had three that I remember.
One was of my friend Barbara's daughter Brooklyn, driving.
Brooklyn is only 11. Barbara and I were sitting in the back seat and her two daughters were in the front. We drove out of a gravel parking lot and on to a busy one lane road going the wrong way. We drove on the shoulder past a steady stream of cars and trucks. The whole time I was panicking and telling Barbara to hop over the seat and take over.
We finally arrived at an apartment building and went inside to their house. (They don't really live in an apartment, but they did here.) We stayed inside and got ready for a day of school. My son was with me and we were ready to go. We looked at the clock and it was past time to leave. Then Barbara reminded me that her daughters were home schooled now (which they are), so they really didn't care if school had started; it didn't matter to them. I was a bit upset, because it did matter to me, and we were going to be late to the first day of school. She suggested that we not go and just show up the next day. I woke up after that.

The second dream involved my son being a toddler again, and peeing in a sink while I held his body up so he could reach. It was an odd dream, but sure enough, I woke up having to pee.

The third dream was at work. I was back at St. John's and was assigned the task of going through a room full of samples. I went through piles and piles of clothes and accessories. The piles were mostly clothes from my Disney job not from St. John's. (Mostly little girl's princess dresses.) I put a huge stack aside for myself, saying that "my nieces will love these." Then a co-worker came by and asked how it was going. I told her she could go through the piles I didn't want. Then she questioned my free-for-all by reminding me that last year we saved everything til the end and had a sample sale with it all. "Oh yeah", I thought. So then I put everything back into categories and went over to a large metal shelf and started sorting through briefcases and other men's accessories.
That was the end of that dream.

Any meanings? Well... Kids ran the show in all three dreams, either directly or in-directly. But is there a lesson... I'm not so sure.
I do need to call Barb; she hasn't called since her daughters have been home from their dad's house.

So Many Unwritten

I had my family visiting for the past week, so I never took the time to write my dreams. I did, however, have many nights of very interesting dreams. (Seems to always happen when they visit.)
I really wish I would've taken time to write them.

Last night's involved peeing in inappropriate places. (My nephew peed on my couch yesterday.) It was me doing the peeing in the dream though... in a doll's bed. At the end of the dream (after much pee related material) I had my husband below a table at a HS reunion in Vegas, doing things to me that are reserved for the bedroom. It was an all around "inappropriate" dream.

The night before I had a dream about switching rooms with my sister. My room had all of my old silver, black, and pink furniture, and her room had oak furniture, lots of knickknacks, a huge closet, and a small filing cabinet on her dresser. (We saw an old filing cabinet at the antique store Wednesday that my mom said would be good for my sister's organizing business.)
We switched rooms (I don't remember why) and an old lady came to look at our rooms. I showed her my sister's room as if it was my own. (Her room was very far from my style and would not have fooled anyone who knew us... so the lady must not have known us.)
It was a strange dream, and yet another dream about me being in my sister's closet looking at clothes. This time it passed beyond the clothes, and I looked through all of her things. I don't know what she did in my room cause I never went back in there.

This theme of my sister's clothes etc. is curious to me. I wonder if it has to do with weight... or if it's more about shared experiences as children... or the things I've adopted from my sister in my personality. hmmmm.

Another Potty Dream, and Trying on Clothes again.

When I was driving home last night I had a thought. I never dream about romance. I never dream about my husband or any mystery man in a romantic way. (Sure I have sex dream, but not romantic ones.) I was thinking about fairy tales and what we think of as "dreams".  I wondered how many people actually dream those type of dreams... or if that is limited to 'day dreams'.  ???

Anyway, no exception to the rule I had two completely non-romantic dreams last night.

The first centered around poop. (I think it came from our talk last night... trying to unload crap in our thinking.)

In the dream I was sitting around with a group of women (just like I really was last night) and we were in a restaurant that hadn't opened yet. It was a large ball room and the tables and chairs were not set up yet. I sat on a barrel that looked like a red trashcan/stool. Other people had different stools and chairs. (The chair I sat on last night was red too.) We were talking, and I began to poo. No one knew I was, and my butt covered the opening of the trashcan perfectly, so no smell was escaping. (Gross, I know). 

Anyway, a lady came in and said we had to leave cause they were going to open the restaurant. Guys came in and started setting up tables and a dinner party filed in. I was terrified over what to do with my poop. I held the trashcan to my butt as I stood up and walked out of the room.

The scene changed and I went directly into a men's locker room. There were athletes changing, and I walked right past them into a bathroom stall where I dumped the poop. I realized I had to go more, but didn't want to go in the men's room. I walked around to at least four different bathrooms looking for a place to go. The ones in the men's locker room had names like "armpit", and other names that made you think of stink.  I found my way to the ladies side and looked in their bathrooms. I finally settled on one that reminded me of an old dream I had in an Indian bath house type setting (if those exist). I walked up to one that was in a gazebo and two friends were close by. I sat down and listened to them talk. Each one had a story of a move, or something falling through.  My friend Kelly (from years ago) was saying she wasn't going to be able to move to Hawaii... along with other things.

That was the end of that one.

The second dream took place in what was suppose to be Roy and Gracia's house (the house I lived in during my freshman year of college when I was pregnant with my daughter.) Gracia was away, or in another room and I was all alone watching a movie. There were snacks set out for me and a giant glass vase on the table.  The vase fell (didn't break) and spilled potpourri all over the floor. I was about to clean it up when Gracia came out. I don't remember what she said, but she was upset with me and I walked away to my room where my mom was waiting for me to try on some clothes.  (Last night my friend Rebecca gave me some hand-me-down pants to try on). In the dream I was trying on what Rebecca had given me, but they were skirts not pants. They were all long thin dirndl skirts. I tried on the red one. Then I tried on one that had a long high waist  up to my boobs. It was white and had a layer of lace over top. The skirt portion was long and thin again, and I was surprised that it looked good on me. My mom was just standing by and handing things too me, and puffing my blouse out the top.

That was the extent of the dream.

At our group last night we talked about parts of ourselves we'd like to overcome, things that we're insecure about and what we could do about those things. My dream from last night was brought up... the one about the bustier. I find it interesting that in last night's dream, I am again trying on lace... with my mom... and this time it fit. 

The significance of Gracia goes back to the root of my over eating. That was when I got fat for the first time. "You were pregnant", you may say... Yes, but they ate out at nearly every meal (which I was not use to), and I gained FAR more than what you are suppose to while pregnant. It was a VERY low time for me, away from family and going through adoption counseling against my will. Eating became a very acceptable way of dealing with my pain. I had never really thought of their house as being the birth place of that issue in my life... but it certainly was.

I think the giant glass vase speaks of the frailty of beauty. My vase did not break, but there in that house, it was knocked over, and I never got to clean it up.

Awkward

My first dream:
I was with my mom and dad. We were at a mall because I wanted to go shopping. We had been walking for a very long time through halls with shops along the sides behind windows and doors. (It reminded me of Las Vegas when you have to go through a long hallway of shops from the parking garage to the main casino area.) The building we were in was old though; it was brick, and looked like a museum. After walking and still not shopping for a very long time, I actually said, "This mall is more like a museum." It was about at that point that we 'got some where'. My mom, in answer to my question, said, "Well let's go down this way." We started down some stairs that led to a Marie Calendars, but the stairs soon became a ladder. There were rungs every few feet, but the main handle on the sides was only every 6 feet. For some reason I wasn't using any of the middle rungs, only one every 6 feet that lined up with the handle. I was dropping, only holding the sides for the entire length of my body each time. My parents were coming down the ladder rung by rung, but face first... like they were crawling "spidey-style" down towards me.  I complained about the ladder. Almost directly after the complaint (and my mind thinking about what I was doing, and how I could do it differently) we were at the bottom. Instead of going through the restaurant, or sitting down, we went just to the right of the ladder where there was a bed. My mom lay on the bed on the right side, and I lay on my belly with my head and arms dangling off the end on the left side. Again, I stopped and realized what I was doing, and repositioned myself. The bed was very lumpy and I said it was better before. My mom thought that maybe I just needed less noise to be able to sleep, so I went to turn off the TV (no longer in the restaurant atmosphere). When I got to the TV I noticed that it had been recording every show for the past like 6 or so hours. I took some time to try to delete each show. (Probably more from my ipod frustration the other day... cause now I have so many unwanted songs to delete.)  The dream ended in frustration.


My next dream was far weirder.

I was riding the back seat of an open-air jeep type vehicle with four guys in the front and two more in the back with me. They almost all had guns (very skinny and short ones of varying colors, which they talked about,) and we were driving through a neighborhood to do a drive-by shooting. They weren't aiming for people, but they wanted to scare the residents. They were all very "hard" looking, and talked in a way that said "gang" to me. We went around this neighborhood like three times, each time I faced inward and didn't look at what they were shooting at off the left side. (I was in the far left of the back seat.) When they were satisfied with their shooting we headed for the leaders house. As we approached the house a small squirrelish animal (without a tail) got on my leg and tried to hump it. I grabbed him to remove him but he just grabbed on to my arm and did the same. I told the guy in the back seat about it and he said, "Just let him do his thing." At this the squirrel bit me and latched on again to my leg. I shook him off as we exited the car at the leader’s house. Once we were in I looked down at the clothes I was wearing. I was dressed like a streetwalker, and shortly after, treated like one. At this point in the dream, unlike in the car, I was playing the role. I smacked my gum, I spoke 'gangsta' and used my body (which was rather slim in the dream) to entertain. At one point there was poop on the floor and I had to clean it up before anyone saw. I knew my place in the gang; I was basically dirt.

A large screen came down from the ceiling and they began to play music videos. The walls of the house went away and the area became huge with three different levels for watching a concert. It wasn't like a stadium, but there were a few seats scattered around and outdoor heaters here and there. A band came to the screen/stage and started to set up. I started to make my way as far away from the gang as I could, I ran into my husband on the top level near a heater and stood with him. The youth pastor from our church, Josh, was there and was announcing this as a "Tribes" event. (That's the name of the youth's Wednesday night service.) I looked around and saw Tribes posters. The gang members and a whole bunch of other people scattered around the place.

Then I woke up.

Times (numbers) in dreams

In the very beginning of my dream last night I was in a public rest room. It was all women and I had to go, but could not find an empty stall. Outside of the stalls there were beauty treatments going on and mud baths and such. I waited for a long time for someone to come out. When I finally got in one of the stalls I realized it was connected to the other two beside it, no walls, only the wall that separated them from the 'beauty area'. I didn't like that. I don't even remember ever actually going past that point, though I know I looked in various other stalls to find a suitable one. That dream ended (or morphed) and this one started...

I was on a school trip of some sort. We stopped at a convenience store to get some snacks. I was looking at bags of Japanese snacks that one of the boys said he liked and that they didn't have any... but I found them. It had a pink wrapper. There was a mini Arbys in the store and one of the nerds from my high school came over and asked if I wanted a sandwich. I said yes and he went to get me one. He came back shortly after, needing some money. The Arby's part of the store closed at 12:30 and it was just about to close (even though it was lunch time). The lady at the Arby's counter also came over and I had to figure out if he had ordered me a sandwich, fries and a drink or just the sandwich cause it was seeming a little expensive. I payed her and we went back outside. It wasn't like a parking lot anymore, it was more like a quad at a school and it led to a class room where some students were watching a film about the earth shifting. I sat down next to my ex boyfriend and started to lean into him. The nerd who had bought me the sandwich (kind of) got a little frustrated. I started talking to my ex about the end of the world. He didn't believe me. The video they were watching was showing that just in the past couple of days the earth's surface had moved many miles. We hadn't felt it. But the satellite camera had taken pictures and we were at that moment watching a part of the video that showed a harbor town with lots of personal boats all moving at once up and over what seemed to be a few miles. I asked if he believed me now. Then that part of the dream faded. 

In the next part I was at my house from when I was 8. I was with my family (mainly my mom and my Aunt Debbie) in the living room watching a movie. I had prom that night and was suppose to be there at 7. I had to car pool with some friends and I was going to pick them up at 6:30. I had not started to get ready at all. It was 6:25 when I realized what time it was. My mom and aunt had not let me look at the time... like they had me watching the movie to forget... or maybe I fell asleep during the movie??? Anyway I jumped up and they protested a little. I explained to them the time and that I had to go get ready. I went to put on my dress and when I got in front of the mirror to do my make-up I had what looked like sun burn blister-bubbles all over my face and chest and shoulders. It was horrible. But I didn't freak out as much as you would think. Instead, I started explaining them to the nerd that had been in the beginning of the dream.

And that was the end.

We've already talked about "potty dreams" in a different post, so I won't go back into that, just sufficed to say that this bathroom was dirty and unappealing, open and unsafe... not the place you want to be sharing your 'stuff'.

As for the convenience store part of the dream.  This is the third (I think) convenience store in my dreams over the past week or so... after possibly a life time of never dreaming of such places, so that in itself makes it interesting. Last time the convenience store was the place I went looking for help about the stolen swell sister car... with no luck. Another time recently I was stopping to get gas and some quick food with my dad, the place ended up repulsing me.

So here I am again in a fast food /convenience /gas station type place and things are not going so well. Convenient is not always the best choice... or should I say, hardly ever is. That goes for food as well as for life lessons.

This time there is a time involved. It is not typical for me to have so many numbers in a dream, or to remember them. In this dream they were all times: Closing time, starting time, time to go, 'oops I'm late' time. 

It seems to me that this being a dream that dealt a lot with time and even the end of the world that  the convenience store closing could have to do with the end of conveniences.  It could be for me personally, as I am trying to be healthier, or it could be grander than that. 

I'm not going to jump to any rash conclusions... this is just what jumps out to me (and of course what I've been studying for the past year now). 12:30 looks a lot like half way through the year '12... which is about the time I think 'conveniences' will end, due to the mass amounts of natural disasters up until that point. 

The dream moves directly from that 'closing time' to watching a video about a major shift in the earth (something predicted by many to happen in 2012). I am trying to convince someone I care deeply about. (I still care very much about my first love, just not in a romantic way. Plus I tend to dream of Shane when it has to do with matters of the religion, because we debate about it nearly every time we talk; him being Catholic and me being Protestant.) The nerd I mentioned in the dream (isn't a nerd anymore) and he is agnostic. I don't typically talk to him about religion at all, but my best friend does.

Prom (probably dreamed of because the Swell Sister's 2nd anniversary this weekend was an 80's Prom theme) being at 7:00, speaks to me of completion and the party at the end of the world. The seventh year, the beginning of the Thousand Year Reign of Christ. (Or for a shallower interpretation... that is the time that our Prom started, but we were suppose to be there at 6:30 to set up... I was 5 minutes late.)

Movies and I have a love/hate relationship. I love good movies, but I use them as an escape. Movies are the one thing that I will waste my time doing. I am getting better, but I relapse often. There are numerous things that I need to "get ready" for... things about my end times ministry... things that hopefully will "pick up my friends and bring them to Prom", but I get side tracked with things as stupid as movies. I pray that I am not "late"! 

I imagine that the blisters on my face, neck, shoulders, and chest were just another end time plague (Rev 16:2) that I was trying to explain to my non-believing friend. In the dream they were just like a sun burn to me, not painful at all, just blisters of air, like before you start peeling. I know this is NOT how they are described at all in the bible, but if we're being biblical about it, only those with the mark of the beast will have them in the first place. Perhaps it refers to the part that says we'll be scorched by the sun? (Rev 16:9).

Hmmmm.  Just a thought.

"Speaking at a Pub"

In last night's dream I was at a pub that had two floors like the "Capital Garage" used to when it was open in down town Sac. The people were listening to someone talking. I interrupted the guy, or maybe he was finished when I got up to speak, but I took the stage and started talking about the end of the world. (You can see the types of things I said at my other blog (allabouttheend.blogspot.com). When I was finished a crowd gathered around me asking questions and saying that they really enjoyed my lecture. 

I made my way up stairs with two guys who worked there.  One of them did a back flip in the loft area, then they left to clean up down stairs.  When they were gone I did a back flip too. (These were like trampoline back-flips, not on the floor, but jumping in the air and landing on your feet.) The guys came back up stairs and I told them I could do it too. They didn't believe me and asked me to prove it. At that point we were in the middle of the floor. I tried to jump but the wooden floor was to squishy at that spot. We moved over a few feet, but it was still too soft. So I walked back over to where I had done the first flip; the ground there was firmer, with just a little give. They had to move a ping-pong table out of the way for them to stand there, but I did my flip. I barely landed on my feet, grazing my butt on the uptake. They were only some-what impressed.

The scene changed to having sex with my husband... which lasted a while... then I got up and went to the bathroom. The small sectioned off room with the toilet in it (which is how it is at my house) was flooded with dirty water from the potty. It was gross. I yelled for my husband... 

...Then woke up.

I know the speaking in public thing was brought on by incidences from the last few days.

At my Thursday bible study my friend Rene was on my case to get back to doing my dresses for a fashion show I'm working on based on the 7 Feasts. (I've been on my own case. It frustrates me that I haven't finished the one project standing in my way.) This show may also lead to a speaking opportunity to "explain" the gowns, which has a lot to do with the eschatology. 

Then on Friday I went to a Bible study at another church. It was my first visit. I had an unusual boldness there and spoke up whenever I had something to add to the teaching. (That is something I don't do.  ...but did.)

And finally yesterday I was at a baby shower and one of the ladies had heard about my "end times" study and she asked me about it. I rambled off some authors she might want to look at and gave her a brief synopsis of my views. She said, "You should teach on this. Have you ever talked to Pastor Scott about it?" I said, "No. The official view of the Pentecostal church is pre-trib, so I really don't think he'd go for it." 

All of these incidences, as well as the dream, are really making me think though, of who I could speak to.  Who would be interested?  Where should I go?  hmmmm.

As for the rest of the dream. I think the flip was from a boost of confidence, but that my confidence doesn't work so well when someone is watching.

The sex part, and the flooded toilet... I'm not sure.

"Sorting Through It"

Last night's dream was one of those where you go... hmmmm, I think I'll skip on posting that one.

But, I promised myself I wouldn't do that, so here goes...

I went to a classroom setting. The space was white and airy like there were no walls, just a blank ongoing stage.

It was test time and I did not have a pencil. I asked Tyler (my pastor's 20something year old son) for a pencil. Once I got the pencil waiters and waitresses started bringing out trays with bite sized desserts on them. There was baklava, cream puffs, tarts...stuff like that.  I took as many as I could hold in my hand.

Then I had to pee. I walked into a hallway and met up with a friend. Once I found the bathroom I was alone and went in and locked the door. I sat on the toilet and noticed another potty on the opposite side of the room. This one was like a tub with a toilet built in; kinda like a porcelain one person hot tub, with the bucket seat and everything. I went over and sat in it instead.  After peeing I felt like I needed to poo too. 

(Now before I get to the part I didn't want to post, let me give you the meaning first.  This isn't a meaning from my own imagination; I've read it in three different dream interpretation books by three different authors, and it just seems to be accurate based on my own dream analysis.

When you dream of going to the bathroom it's often about getting rid of waste. It's not abnormal to even dream of examining said waste. It's about sorting through your $#!* for lack of a better description.

OK, now we can go back to the dream.)

As the 'poo urge' came over me... I couldn't do it. So I barely touched my butt and it starts to immediately produce a few specimens.  They present themselves in front of me as if to say, "Look at me."

...and I'm happy to say, that was the end of the dream.

Interpretation: I started counseling on Thursday. I have not been for myself in years. My counselor told me to start journaling. She told me I was like Saul hiding in the baggage. (Bible story about when Saul was called to be king, but he was scared and hid.)  Going to counseling... starting to journal... It requires looking at your $#!*. I am happy to be doing it... I know it will benefit me, but I still hesitate to jump in to some areas. So the brief "constipation" speaks to that, and the "tub" speaks to a cleansing that takes place when you get rid of waste. I personally like the fact that the tub was hot-tub-ish and comfy; perhaps that speaks to my process not being uncomfortable, and after a short hesitation, the "eliminating" will come easy.  

As for the classroom, it seems fairly obvious that I'm unprepared for the tests that are facing me right now; That's why I'm going to counseling. (I wonder why I asked Tyler for the pencil. What does he represent? What tool does he have that would help me in my test?)

And the desserts are quite literally one of my typical escapes from taking the tests.

So, sorry if I grossed you out, and I'm sorry in advance for future poop dreams. ;-)

Church fires and Dachshunds, what?

I feel a bit weird telling you that yet again, there was a potty in my dream.  I must really need to unload some waste. ;)

 The dream's setting was church. I was in some type of women's group; there were women from my present church and the church we went to before. We were at a long table doing some sort of craft.  I got up to use the restroom. Went in, sat down, stayed there. People started knocking on the door (it was a small stall/room with sink included). I could hear and see (like looking down on the situation) the people outside on the stall. There was a group of guys from a rock band along with various other people. My husband came to the door angrily and ripped down the door/wall. I was pissed. I stood up pant-less and grabbed a hand towel to try and cover myself.  I walked out yelling at him, and two rock band guys went in. I looked around for my things and realized they were in the bathroom. I knocked and asked them to hand me my things.  The door cracked (yes, magically, it was back) and they threw out my stuff. I sat next to a dying fire that the other musicians were sitting around as I gathered my stuff. At one point I threw something (can't remember now what it was, but it was significant) into the fire and the flames shot up to bonfire status. The band who was waiting for the fire to die before they could leave, was now stuck there longer. I left, but I couldn't find my keys.

In the parking lot I saw my pastor and asked if he would help me. I gave him three options. "You can take me home, or you can call my peeps to come get me, or you can take me to your house and have them pick me up there," I said. He told me to get in, that he'd take me to his house for them to come there. 

As I rounded the small SUV there was another Pastor Scott, but with long, straight, shoulder length hair.  I looked over the car, and noticed they both had long hair. Then the first P. Scott took off the hair like a wig, and said, "That's my twin brother."

The long haired brother and I got in the back utility area where there were two brown Dachshund puppies. P. Scott took off, and the back utility door was still open. A wind tunnel was being created, and as we got on the on-ramp to the freeway, one puppy fell out. I reached my front half out and grabbed him and saved him. The P. Scott twin tried to get the door closed as I held the puppies. 

OK, obviously this one was not a positive dream. Emotions went from normal and happy to frustrated to pissed to 'oh no, oops' to confused to scared again.

The events of my 'real' last night may say a little something. I dropped my daughter off at church around 7:00 for her youth group that she wanted to attend. I did not stay even though there was a prayer meeting for the adults. I went to a Career Artists meeting instead. When I arrived to pick her up at 9:15 Pastor Scott was coming out, and the door was locked. He unlocked it for me and I went in to find my daughter in the back youth room. When we got home, I broke down and had a piece of my daughter's birthday cake even though I'm fasting from animal products right now. (The cake has eggs and cream.) And yes, I had another piece this morning. I suck when it comes to willpower. So, going to church may have helped me with those temptations, where, obviously, the CA meeting did not. (Though, I'd like to point out that I had nothing while at the meeting. ;-) )  I also talked with my husband on the phone about a parenting debate we're having over who my daughter can date now that she's 16.

As I look at my dreams, and me constantly in the bathroom in them, I wonder if it has to do with my struggle with the issues that surround my weight, or with my parenting, or with my time management. 

My husband getting impatient with me in last night's dream could indicate that at least in that dream that it was about the parenting. He's very frustrated that I haven't budged on my stance about my daughter dating who ever she chooses. (If you are a parent, you know that separation in the ranks causes multiple problems. The man feels disrespected; the woman feels like another child in the house... There's just an unpleasantness to all conversations or situations surrounding the topic.)

Back to the dream....  I'm pissed and exposed at church but now really only with this band who is waiting on a fire to die. (I should mention that my husband plays bass in the church band... but he wasn't there in that part of the dream). I imagine that the fire was blazing during the service, (fire not always a bad thing in regards to church... because of the symbolism of a 'holy fire' - passion.) I wish I could remember what I threw in the fire. It was long, like a flowing thick ribbon, or cloth, or possibly liquid.??? 

Anyway, I'm not sure about the Pastor Scott twin with long hair. I guess maybe it was something that 'put him into the band too' (the band members had long hair). 

I have a thing about puppies in my dreams. Not big dogs, but little puppies (and sometimes kittens). I am always saving them. Sometimes from waves in the ocean, or on cliffs, or from abandoned buildings, and this time from falling out of open moving vehicles. I'm not exactly sure, but I think it may have something to do with young people.  I am involved with the youth at church a little, and I never dreamed of the puppies until I got started with youth. Who knows. But it's interesting that Pastor Scott was driving and that the thing that made the puppy fall was a wind tunnel, and that it was out the back door on an on-ramp.  The Spirit of God is called "a mighty rushing wind".   The fast that I'm on is one version of a church wide 21 day fast that we are doing.  Fasts, in general, take you deeper in your spiritual walk. They can be very powerful, and of course, that's what we're hoping for. Our church (with P. Scott 'driving', but also with us in the work 'utility trunk') is a young church (3 years I think) that just now got our own building. In a way, this fast is our "on ramp" to the freeway of actually going, doing, and being a mission based church. (We have always had that as a focus, but it wasn't as possible without a building.)

Those are just some of my thoughts. Do you have any?

Entertainment

I imagine this will be normal posting time. I just got home from taking the kids to school. I highly doubt I'll be up early enough to write and get them ready very often.
 I had three dreams again last night (that I remember).
The first was simply me going to spend the night at my high school BF's house. Her dad who is now passed away (lung cancer) was outside sweeping the walk way. I walked on the flower bed to avoid him, but then tracked dirt on the area closest to the door. He gave me a disappointed look, and that was the end of that dream.
Before I tell you my next dream, it's important to know that I went to see the movie "The Book of Eli" yesterday.  It's important because very often the entertainment you put into your head will show up in your dreams. That's one reason I never watch horror movies. If you want your dreams to be truly untainted, you'd have to go without movies, TV, video games, etc. The good news is, even with tainted dreams there are still messages to be discovered.
So, knowing that I went to see "Eli" I'm OK with what happens in this dream.
I'm walking down a street in a bad part of town with my son. I look into a shop that belongs to my friends Gregory and Kookye. (The shop reminds me of the shop in the movie.) (They really did own a consignment store at one point, so that makes sense. Plus Kookye was the last person I got an email from yesterday, so she was on my mind.)  I went on ahead down the street, but my son wanted to stay and play with their daughter (really they have a son). He stayed and I walked on.  Later, I walked back to their shop and it was in much better condition and everything was neatly put away. In a back room my friend Megan (also Kookye's friend) was wrapping presents with other ladies. Her husband Curt came up to me and started showing me his "LUSH" products. I explained to him that I had some LUSH stuff at home. I use their Godiva shampoo. So he offered me a few bath bombs for free. Then one of the ladies wrapping took me to another back room with a Christmas tree in it and toys under the tree. She offered me a plush Tigger for my son. I thought it would be bad to break up the set (they had Pooh and Eeyore and all the rest), but she insisted and I took him.
Then I asked where the restroom was (a very common theme for me obviously). The potty was in a long hallway; girls on one end, boys on the other, but completely open. As I sat there a small Asian man came up to me from down the hall. I got very mad at him for invading my privacy, so I got up and started a knife fight. Many more men and boys joined the fight and by now I was on their end of the hall. The boys were all chubby. I asked, "Do you wanna know what fat looks like?" then I cut (with my small pocket knife) each one of them in their bare bellies (little 3-5" cuts, but deep enough to see the layer of fat).
Like I said, I'm OK with this, cause I know the slashing of bodies came from the movie yesterday. But I find it interesting that they were chubby and that my one memorable line had to do with fat.
Both my son and I are about 30 pounds overweight and can't seem to motivate ourselves to loose the weight.

My third dream was a camping trip with old high school friends and my parents. (My dad pastored the youth during my childhood, so that's not a strange scenario.) People I remember in the dream were Amy, Jodie, Christie, and my BF Vanessa. Near the beginning of the dream the girls were are crowded around a dimly lit mirror getting ready. We were leaving that day. The camp was beach side, and some how we went, with our suitcases and sleeping bags, out onto floating  (10' in diameter) burlap sand bags. My mom tipped them over looking for a flatter side for us to walk on, but they all sank. So we were swimming with suitcases and sleeping bags trying to pull up the floaties. Finally we swam to next section of floating structures which is a giant round white with a red bulls-eye inflatable. There are people sitting on edge and walking on top, we bounce onto the inflatable. I start to wonder if people will fall, so we stop bouncing and walk across. We get in the car (my Durango) and head off.  On the road the water comes right up to the asphalt.  My mom is driving and she keeps veering into the water. I point it out to her, as well as pointing out the harbor in the distance, and a paradise looking place where two girls are swimming with swans and weeping willows are planted in the water. I want to go there, but we have to get everyone home. We start to discuss who to take home first according to the order of their houses. Vanessa lives closest to me, Amy lives furthest, etc.

I'm not going to take any time time today looking deeper cause I have to go paint at my friend Kim's house. Maybe you can try and decode something for me. :-)

Beauty Shop

(This is getting published much later today because I got called away from the computer this morning.)

I find it interesting that as I opened my home page a second ago, I noticed my friend's blog has a Beauty Shop theme this morning too. She is a folk painter and has started a series (I just discovered) on "Beauty Shop Girls". (You can check it out at folkartbycampbelljane.blogspot.com )

Well, my main dream last night started in a St. John beauty shop. "No such thing," you say? True, there's not, but it all makes sense when you know my background.  I used to work at the St. John design house before I got married almost 11 years ago. So, often, when I dream of 'work' I dream of St. John. I am currently working on some designs of my own, and one of my main dilemmas is finding models. 

So... In my dream I went to this "Beauty Shop" with my one model-esk friend. I sat in the waiting room, waiting for her to get dolled up for the show. Then my old boss from St. John pulled me in the salon room and asked if she could do my hair. The hair-do was far from a St. John type style. She inserted numerous bright colored extensions (from hot pink to red to purple), and swept up each real strand of hair into an up-do. By the time she was finished my whole head was purple, and run-way worthy. She was so pleased with it she decided I could model in the show. She walked off to do something and her assistant came over to me and asked who my favorite jewelry designer was. She explained that I could pick whom ever I wanted, and that I would wear their stuff in the show. She side noted it with, "You'll get to keep it all, so choose wisely, but it can't be loud, it has to go with the clothes." (Now that's interesting seeing that I'm sitting there with 'loud' purple hair, and given that St. John makes their own jewelry.) But I chose Roberto Cavalli. Maria (my boss) went off to order jewelry and Marie Grey (the big boss) came over and told me to sit down in a dental looking chair to get my makeup done. I asked if I could use the restroom first, and I walked out. Passing the waiting room, my friend Cheryl, walked up to me and asked if I could get her some clear nail polish. I told her I was going to pee, and she could get it herself, as I pointed out a small and large bottle of clear sparkly nail polish. I left the building in search of a restroom, out onto a cobblestone street. An outdoor restaurant was my first encounter.  The matradee pointed me past the restaurant to an alley in the square. I must have peed and come back out (don't remember that part) but as I came out I was met by my husband and four other friends. We were all walking down the cobblestone street in the direction of an amusement park. The roller-coasters towered in front of us, and my husband and I discussed which ones we would ride. Just then a man zoomed over our heads riding a scooter on top of a zip-line. I pointed out the zip-line to my husband and asked if he wanted to try it. Another rider zipped by. We continued to walk and I had an internal conversation with myself about the mechanics of the ride. I was terrified, but thrilled at the same time at the idea of riding this dangerous thing.

Well, shall we give an interpretation a go?

OK. We'll start with assuming this has something to do with work. It could be about the past, or it could be about my present solo endeavor. The emotion in the dream was all positive, so that's good. There was a message about being 'good enough', in the part where I was asked to be in the show. There was also a promise to keep jewelry worth lots of money. 

References to bathroom behavior usually has to do with getting rid of waste. (When it's poop, it's obviously yuckier crap you're working through), but in this case it was just pee and that part of the dream didn't even really happen (that I remember). (One exception to this 'bathroom' rule is that sometimes when you dream of peeing, it's your body telling you to "Wake up... You have to pee." But if you actually get through the pee or poo in your dream, then there's symbolism to it.) 

We notice that when I was done getting rid of the waste, I came out to a new story. I didn't go back to the salon, I went to an amusement park and was going to ride on a terrifying but thrilling ride with my husband.

You may have also noticed that this is the second dream with cobblestone streets this week. What's that about? From my life, it reminds me of Italy (where I lived for three years during adolescence). In a general way, it just speaks of an old world vibe to me. It's nothing new.  (Maybe speaking of the story as old, or of the circumstances as nothing new).

Now, if we take this as a "past" story, we could correctly recall that I left my job at St. John to marry my husband that lived up here in Sacramento. That could tell the whole story right there.

But why would I dream about that? 

It's more likely that I would dream about the present or near future. (That's what we normally do, unless we have baggage from our past that is still be sifted through.) I could make the same conclusion though, that I have set aside my 'work' (I haven't touched my dress form since November), to embark on a terrifying but thrilling ride with my husband. That rings true because we are about to start counseling over our differences in parenting. (You can only go so long on two separate pages, before the negative effects show up in your kids.) 

I'd like to assume that I'm still invited to "be in the show" and that I'll still get to keep the valuable "jewelry", but who knows, that could all be "pee".  

I'll be praying for some clarity on this one. Perhaps I'll dream again about something that will clear it up for me. Or, as is often the case, the fuzzy parts will be cleared up in day to day life, or in my quiet time.

Happy dreaming everyone.