Worries, and Volunteering.

Last night I was up and down with the dogs all night. (Once again, I gave them some people food that didn't agree with their stomaches.) But the good part of that is that I was able to catch multiple dreams. The first I caught was at around 12:00.
I was with my friend Mitzie in a back yard (mine supposedly)of a New York town house. Bible study had just ended and we were talking about the painting I just finished for her. (A painting I really did just finish yesterday.) As we talked we got fruit off of a tree. The discussion was about things she wanted to add to the painting. She wanted to add some poppies on a hill in the background. I was a little flustered that I was no longer "done" with the painting. When we finally looked at the clock it said 3:00AM. We mentioned that she had stayed for four hours since study time. Then, as we were walking to the front door we noticed it was open. "That's not good." I was shocked and had a fleeting thought that a burglar had gotten in my house, but when I looked out the door I noticed my dad sitting on the brick stair railing that butted up against the porch. I could see people and ambulances and other 3:00AM type sights on the streets of New York around my house. My dad was looking forlorn watching and waiting. I asked what he was doing. He said, "Savannah's not home yet." (That's my 18 year old daughter.) I knew what that meant. When she did get home she would be in DEEP trouble, and her car would be taken away. The rest of the dream was just standing there looking, waiting, and thinking about where she could be. Was she in danger? Was she out with her boyfriend? hmmm.

There were two other dreams between then and morning, but all I remember from them are scattered images and a song, so I'll skip ahead to the one I had just before waking up at 6:00.

I was volunteering at a woman's shelter (probably thinking of a book I'm reading called House of Hope). I had walked through the building and then around the block. When I came around to the back door I noticed a large pile of feminine products. Someone had dropped off a donation of pads, razors, tampons, aspirin, q-tips, etc. I started gathering them into my arms, and taking them inside. A woman told me where there was a bathroom that I could stash them in. It took me a few trips but the moment I was done I was ushered into a multipurpose room with cork boards along the wall covered in construction paper with rick-rack edges ala-elementary school style. Some had things pinned to them, others were empty. There were plastic and metal chairs around the room and people started to filter inside. The pastor from my church told me to grab some things off the wall and put them away. I went to the wall and found injection viles and other types of medical looking paraphernalia. I was taking them down while Pastor Scott was having the women sit in chairs. I took the stuff outside where I assumed there would be someone to pick them up, or perhaps I was waiting for another donation. I'm not sure, but there was a litter of puppies outside that needed my care. So I started loving on them. Then I woke up.

The first dream is pretty obviously about two things I'm worried about. I want to be done with Mitzie's painting, as it has been on my to-do list for a year now. And I'm worried about my daughter getting into any furthur trouble because my husband has said the next thing to be taken away will be her car.
The second dream no doubt centers around my book. I've mentioned before that puppies in my dreams usually refer to youth. I tend to work with youth more so than with women my own age or older.

A Short Affair

I wish I could remember my other dreams from last night... I had three, but only remember one now. The first two were mild in nature and OK for sharing.
The last one (the one I remember) is not appropriate at all, but I will do my best to share it.

It started in a church service. (I watched a little church TV yesterday while over at my friend's house, who is stuck in bed with an illness. The service in my dream was way more like the church on TV than any church I have ever been to in person.) The choir wore royal blue robes and the congregation was full of dressed up people. I sat on the 3rd row on the right hand side close to the middle aisle. Half way through the service there was a break. People got up to use the restroom, or get a doughnut, or whatever. I stayed seated.
When the break was over only half of the people came back. The speaker in the front made mention of it, and I thought to myself, "oh, the people will be back soon, they are just taking their time." There were many that did come back, but not all. A pastor that I know came and sat down beside me. I noticed that I was wearing a robe as well, and that I was naked underneath. The robe had opened in the front at my leg, and my upper thigh was exposed. The pastor beside me (on my left) reached over and "touched" me. I was shocked. I moved the robe to cover myself, but shortly after that he took my hand and put it on his "lap". "Oh my God," I barely whispered as I felt how huge he was.
The scene changed and we were in my bedroom. There was no sensation of anything sexual, but we were having sex. All I thought of was how big he was. My kids came to the door and I quickly got up and rushed to see what they wanted. I put the pastor over my shoulder (lack a sack) and played it off as if he was my husband. As I talked to the kids, they never looked at his face. Then right as we were done talking my daughter noticed who it was. She questioned me, and very plainly I said, "We are just having a short affair, it will be over very soon," and I rushed back to the bed eagerly.

Well... it's yet another dream about exposure, and about the church. I have had dreams this week of dealing with children's ministry, teen girl's ministry, church 'building' ministry, and now intimacy with pastoral ministries.
The fact that there was no sexual sensation in the dream assures me that it wasn't really about sex. The size of things I think is symbolic of power and influence, and that was the luring point.
It would be nice to think that my constant exposure would lead to a place of influence, but positions of influence are tricky; there is a lot of war-fare involved in leadership.

... that's all I have today.

Lettuce

Last night's dream's setting was with my pastor's wife, in her kitchen. I was over for some reason and she was going to feed me lunch. Her daughter was there as well. She had everything prepared but said she needed some lettuce. I looked around and noticed there were no walls on the rooms. I could see outside perfectly. I saw four different pillars like tree trunks that came up to 6 feet, with heads of lettuce on top. I pointed them out and said, "you have plenty of lettuce." She said that wasn't the right kind. Then I asked if we were going to have butter lettuce, "because I really like butter lettuce." Then I asked if butter lettuce had more calories.

That was basically the extent of the dream.
I had another one before that, that involved my mom, but I can't remember it now.

All I'm taking from the dream is that lettuce is on my brain from being on this diet, and that I've also been thinking about talking to Karen about nutrition because her daughter told me she has a book about eating for your blood type, and I am a little interested in what it would recommend for me.

My Ministry Path

What I remember from Tuesday morning (yesterday):
I was in a large banquet hall with other church women. I went towards the kitchen through another room that was empty but could be used to expand the dining area. There was a trail of dog poop on the floor. I told my friend Elenice that I would clean it up. So I bent down and began to wipe it up with paper towels. My friend Jennifer M. also came in while I was there and talked to me. (Both of these ladies represent ministries at my old church.)
After that I went to my pastor's house which was more like a house I have dreamed of before as the Coward's house or as Miss Michele's house. It's a large house with shag carpet, a sunken living room off to the left of the entry, and a hall way to the right. In the dream I was there to mentor the pastor's son Spencer. Both my husband and I were supposed to do it, but my husband had not wanted to come. I got there and stood looking at some art on the wall while there was a gathering of women in the background having a meeting of sorts.
In the dream I never got any real time with Spencer. I left because I was insecure about what I had been asked to do; with out my husband there I didn't think it was my place to mentor a young adult male.
After that I had a dream or a vision (inside my dream) of an embryo inside of me and it's birth. It was up on a screen. Watching, I knew it was Spencer's baby, but not a real baby. It was symbolic and I knew it.
I walked into a large church sanctuary full of people I know. I sat near the back. I saw my friend Ann Marie walk in and down the middle aisle. She had on a police uniform and her hair looked like Linda Carter's. She looked gorgeous. Everybody starred at her and she said hello in a very commanding voice. Everyone was happy to see her. I observed the scene at a distance. When the service was over I was walking out and told another friend that I had had Spencer's baby. Ann Marie, Pastor Scott (Spencer's dad), and a couple other people gathered around me congratulating me; saying things like, "That's great!" and "Go tell everyone!"
Ann Marie pushed me towards the front saying, "It's so great that you will finally be up front."
I got to the front, and woke up.

So what's the significance of this one? Well, Elenice is a friend who helped me start my "Beauty for Ashes" ministry. Jennifer is a friend that helped me start my "Mission Blessing" ministry. (Both ended before I left Harvest church, though the remnants remain to some extent.) Ann Marie was my only spiritual leader friend in my last two years of high school. She stood by me even when I got pregnant and had my daughter. And Spencer, I would say, has the greatest potential of my pastor's kids to be a pastor/speaker/something some day. However, Spencer is also my last name and could have something to do with that instead. Either way... the multi -purpose banquet hall in the beginning speaks volumes about putting in my time cleaning up poop in and for various ministries. I think the end when Ann Marie is saying that I will finally be up front, is talking about my next ministry 'baby' being more up front than behind the scenes or as a clean up crew.

Awkward

My first dream:
I was with my mom and dad. We were at a mall because I wanted to go shopping. We had been walking for a very long time through halls with shops along the sides behind windows and doors. (It reminded me of Las Vegas when you have to go through a long hallway of shops from the parking garage to the main casino area.) The building we were in was old though; it was brick, and looked like a museum. After walking and still not shopping for a very long time, I actually said, "This mall is more like a museum." It was about at that point that we 'got some where'. My mom, in answer to my question, said, "Well let's go down this way." We started down some stairs that led to a Marie Calendars, but the stairs soon became a ladder. There were rungs every few feet, but the main handle on the sides was only every 6 feet. For some reason I wasn't using any of the middle rungs, only one every 6 feet that lined up with the handle. I was dropping, only holding the sides for the entire length of my body each time. My parents were coming down the ladder rung by rung, but face first... like they were crawling "spidey-style" down towards me.  I complained about the ladder. Almost directly after the complaint (and my mind thinking about what I was doing, and how I could do it differently) we were at the bottom. Instead of going through the restaurant, or sitting down, we went just to the right of the ladder where there was a bed. My mom lay on the bed on the right side, and I lay on my belly with my head and arms dangling off the end on the left side. Again, I stopped and realized what I was doing, and repositioned myself. The bed was very lumpy and I said it was better before. My mom thought that maybe I just needed less noise to be able to sleep, so I went to turn off the TV (no longer in the restaurant atmosphere). When I got to the TV I noticed that it had been recording every show for the past like 6 or so hours. I took some time to try to delete each show. (Probably more from my ipod frustration the other day... cause now I have so many unwanted songs to delete.)  The dream ended in frustration.


My next dream was far weirder.

I was riding the back seat of an open-air jeep type vehicle with four guys in the front and two more in the back with me. They almost all had guns (very skinny and short ones of varying colors, which they talked about,) and we were driving through a neighborhood to do a drive-by shooting. They weren't aiming for people, but they wanted to scare the residents. They were all very "hard" looking, and talked in a way that said "gang" to me. We went around this neighborhood like three times, each time I faced inward and didn't look at what they were shooting at off the left side. (I was in the far left of the back seat.) When they were satisfied with their shooting we headed for the leaders house. As we approached the house a small squirrelish animal (without a tail) got on my leg and tried to hump it. I grabbed him to remove him but he just grabbed on to my arm and did the same. I told the guy in the back seat about it and he said, "Just let him do his thing." At this the squirrel bit me and latched on again to my leg. I shook him off as we exited the car at the leader’s house. Once we were in I looked down at the clothes I was wearing. I was dressed like a streetwalker, and shortly after, treated like one. At this point in the dream, unlike in the car, I was playing the role. I smacked my gum, I spoke 'gangsta' and used my body (which was rather slim in the dream) to entertain. At one point there was poop on the floor and I had to clean it up before anyone saw. I knew my place in the gang; I was basically dirt.

A large screen came down from the ceiling and they began to play music videos. The walls of the house went away and the area became huge with three different levels for watching a concert. It wasn't like a stadium, but there were a few seats scattered around and outdoor heaters here and there. A band came to the screen/stage and started to set up. I started to make my way as far away from the gang as I could, I ran into my husband on the top level near a heater and stood with him. The youth pastor from our church, Josh, was there and was announcing this as a "Tribes" event. (That's the name of the youth's Wednesday night service.) I looked around and saw Tribes posters. The gang members and a whole bunch of other people scattered around the place.

Then I woke up.

Cinderella's Castle Ride

Last night there was lots of dreaming going on... but one stood out above the rest, so that's the one I will tell.

I was at Disney Land (or what was suppose to be Disney land). Things were closing, but I wanted to see a new ride inside Cinderella's castle that my church's youth pastor (David) had designed. I snuck in and went up to a ledge that had a small nook where some paper in an envelope was.

The room I was in was circular. The ceilings were extremely high (three stories worth, I'd guess). The walls were white and the detailing was blue... just like Cinderella's castle on the outside. (Just FYI, Cinderella's castle is my FAVORITE part of Disney!) The floor was white marble with small black tile accents... just like the grand hotel I often dream of. There were multiple nooks on the wall, (little places to showcase your treasures ...like the alters in Mexico that have Mary statues.) They were all empty but very ornate. 

I climbed up to the alcove with the envelope on it, opened it up and read. I don't remember what it said, but I knew it was written by David. There was a rope dangling from the ceiling for me to hold on to. I held it and the "ride" started. The rope swung me around the room, basically leaping from nook to nook, in a circle and very fluid. After a few times around I wanted to stop. I landed right where I started, but the alcove was now lower to the ground... about kitchen counter height, and as I set down the paper a bull came in the door.

The bull was staring at me and was mad that I was there. He started to charge me. 

I noticed a wooden window frame to my right and I looked through it. It went to a kitchen. Then I noticed that the window slid up to open. So I opened it and barely squeezed through. I came out the other side on the kitchen counter. The kitchen was very neat and Disney-ish with an old Dutch vibe; lots of wood. 

I remembered that I had left my things (or maybe just the paper) in the other room. So I went back into the circular Cinderella room... with the bull.

The floor had changed into brown, like dirt... but it was smushy, like walking in a semi-deflated bounce-house, or on quicksand that you don't sink into. I could barely walk, and the bull was basically guarding the area I was aiming for. I got to the point that I was crawling, and the bull came to help me.

...and that was the end of the dream.

While we were on our tour in Israel I learned a little more about those alcoves. We went to the Temple of Pan: a place where there were many many alcoves all dedicated to different deities. This was the site where Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do you say that I am?" It was a pointed lesson because He asked them in the midst of numerous 'gods'.

Last night's dream is another that I'm not sure of, but I think I was playing the part of my daughter. Her third "serious" relationship ended yesterday, and she has been trying to get a time to talk to David (the youth pastor) for a couple weeks now. 

We often talk to her about the 'god' placement her boyfriends hold in her life, so all these little alters around the room being very ornate, but empty at present, seem to fit that to me. 

And of course, just like most 16 year old girls, she's waiting for prince charming.

Right now... I'm amusing myself with the thought of my husband being the bull. :-)

"Women"

I had two dreams that I remember last night.

The first, I was at my Pastor's house in the middle of a women's gathering. It didn't really look like their house. It reminded me more of a house that I have dreamed of before that was the Coward's house. But I won't read anything into that. Karen, my pastor's wife, had been watching my son and I was coming to pick him up.They had been talking about going to buy a game for him at Game Stop. I said she didn't have to. She said right now was the only free time she had. "Oh, well if this is the only time I have with you. I'll take as much as I can," I said. There was a sense of her time being very crammed and precious, and I wanted to glean what I could from her. So sat beside her. My son was no longer in the picture, but I started looking around the room at the other women.  They were just there; it wasn't like they were all there to see Karen. They were there with each other. I noticed my friend Rebecca playing cards at a coffee table beside us with another friend. The I looked all around and was shocked to see people from my high school in Italy. Not close friends of mine, just random women.

"There are (counting) ten people here I know from high school!" I exclaimed overjoyed. I smiled at Karen in my moment of surprise.

In my next dream I was in an Olympic sized lap pool. I had on a blue Speedo one-piece and was about to race a bunch of kids and teens. My daughter's boyfriend's mom was in the pool with me and talking to me. I said I needed goggles and a hair cap. She said that I'd be a good racer after I loose my weight. I looked at the line up and could see myself in it. I could see myself swimming very fast. I would be able to beat most of the kids.

...and that was the end of that.

Obviously, my weight is still weighing heavy on me (no pun intended). I guess going to bed right after talking to my daughter about her boyfriend made me think of his mom.

I'm not so sure about the Pastor Karen dream. Again, I'd like to think that people being in her house means that they are/will be "saved" (for lack of a better word). Who knows.  And what did my son and a game have to do with anything?

"Sorting Through It"

Last night's dream was one of those where you go... hmmmm, I think I'll skip on posting that one.

But, I promised myself I wouldn't do that, so here goes...

I went to a classroom setting. The space was white and airy like there were no walls, just a blank ongoing stage.

It was test time and I did not have a pencil. I asked Tyler (my pastor's 20something year old son) for a pencil. Once I got the pencil waiters and waitresses started bringing out trays with bite sized desserts on them. There was baklava, cream puffs, tarts...stuff like that.  I took as many as I could hold in my hand.

Then I had to pee. I walked into a hallway and met up with a friend. Once I found the bathroom I was alone and went in and locked the door. I sat on the toilet and noticed another potty on the opposite side of the room. This one was like a tub with a toilet built in; kinda like a porcelain one person hot tub, with the bucket seat and everything. I went over and sat in it instead.  After peeing I felt like I needed to poo too. 

(Now before I get to the part I didn't want to post, let me give you the meaning first.  This isn't a meaning from my own imagination; I've read it in three different dream interpretation books by three different authors, and it just seems to be accurate based on my own dream analysis.

When you dream of going to the bathroom it's often about getting rid of waste. It's not abnormal to even dream of examining said waste. It's about sorting through your $#!* for lack of a better description.

OK, now we can go back to the dream.)

As the 'poo urge' came over me... I couldn't do it. So I barely touched my butt and it starts to immediately produce a few specimens.  They present themselves in front of me as if to say, "Look at me."

...and I'm happy to say, that was the end of the dream.

Interpretation: I started counseling on Thursday. I have not been for myself in years. My counselor told me to start journaling. She told me I was like Saul hiding in the baggage. (Bible story about when Saul was called to be king, but he was scared and hid.)  Going to counseling... starting to journal... It requires looking at your $#!*. I am happy to be doing it... I know it will benefit me, but I still hesitate to jump in to some areas. So the brief "constipation" speaks to that, and the "tub" speaks to a cleansing that takes place when you get rid of waste. I personally like the fact that the tub was hot-tub-ish and comfy; perhaps that speaks to my process not being uncomfortable, and after a short hesitation, the "eliminating" will come easy.  

As for the classroom, it seems fairly obvious that I'm unprepared for the tests that are facing me right now; That's why I'm going to counseling. (I wonder why I asked Tyler for the pencil. What does he represent? What tool does he have that would help me in my test?)

And the desserts are quite literally one of my typical escapes from taking the tests.

So, sorry if I grossed you out, and I'm sorry in advance for future poop dreams. ;-)

"Get Up"

Last night my husband specifically told me to have sweet dreams. Either that wish just doesn't work past the age of 9, or God has a strange sense of what 'sweet' is.

My dream was in an alternate universe of sortst. In an outside segment my pastor was skateboarding with some teen age boys on a street that went up in a U and back down, but all on a tilt. (This, I think is from a climbing structure at the park yesterday that my son's friend did perfectly, but that I'd never seen attempted before. It's like a rock climbing thing that has a sideways S shape.)

Anyway, the street is either connected to the house, or right outside and I'm seeing it through a window. The house I'm in is supposed to be my Great Aunt Ella Ray's house, but it's not like her real house at all. The house in the dream has small rooms and exposed beams, yellowing wall paper, antiques that look their age, and dust. (Her real house is very clean and well kept... minus the upstairs shag carpet that desperately needs replacing.)

I am watching the skateboarding and reading a book. When Pastor Scott comes in I am sitting in a lazy boy chair with my book. He tells me, "You read too much; get up." I point out that I only have a small section of the book left.

I get up, look around, and notice my great aunt taking art off the wall. Then she takes some cross-stitched pillow cases off the pillows and hangs them on the wall. They are for sale. I ask her what's up, and she tells me that the money is running low and she needs to sell some more.

I walk into the laundry room and find a cell phone. When I check it, it has lots of unheard messages. She says she doesn't know how to work it, so she never checks. I check them... nothing interesting until one from her nephew or some family male (I think nephew) saying that he's in the hospital (Or maybe it was jail, or he was dead... something bad). I went to tell her about it in a panic, but then I thought, "Why should I upset her with that news?" so I didn't.

That's all.

OK... so I read/study too much and I need to get out and do. Got it... though, just like the dream says, I feel like saying,"I've only got a little bit left to read."  I know that's not true. There will always be more things I want to study. I need to study and get out and do, not just one or the other.

As for my aunt... Maybe I'll call her and see if everything is fine.

Cliff Climbing

Well, we have a few minutes before we leave the hotel for the Roman Theater and Dead Sea, so I'll try to squeeze out a dream.

I was at church and Darnisha (worship leader) had me stand up to tell about my trip.  I stood up in the front row and the words I said, as I remembered the sites (which we haven't even seen yet) were, "It was like a fairytale."

After that I walked with Neva (another pastor who deals with hospital visits and calls and hospitality stuff) over to an area of bagged food for the homeless. We looked at it all and I picked up something with my dad and walked behind a crowd.

My dad went to get the car and I followed the crowd all with arms full of stuff. With me, was my sister and Guy (an old friend from HS). We arrived at a hill and started to climb.

Soon the hill was a cliff (still with grass though). We no longer had anything in our hands and the cliff was getting so steep that it was angling towards us. Right near the top I started hanging off the side of the cliff. I was pleading with Guy to help me. "Guy, Guy, please help. I can't pull myself up.  Please help, ....Guy, Guy..."

He pointed out a bar to me that was about 3 feet away from the cliff. I didn't want to go away from the cliff.

Finally he pulled himself into a window, as did my sister, and they started to help me.

The window had a glass that tilted on it's middle so that you could go in the top or the bottom. I came through the top. I was in my night shirt with nothing else on. I was upset that I didn't have on bottoms.

But I got in the window safely.

That was the end.

It was very interesting that I already had images of my trip in my mind when I was telling church about it.

I also found the cliff very intriguing.  Perhaps something will make sense later. 

Not sure if I'll have time to post tomorrow; we'll see.

Safe in the Pillow

Ok, I know I said yesterday's would be the last before vacation, but I'm taking a minute to post this one before we leave for the airport.

It was just too good to pass up.

The dream started out doors with my friend Rene. (I would have been at her house for Bible study at 7:00AM if we weren't leaving today.) We were in a wild flower garden setting. (She gardens.) Then she showed me a miniature scene she had set up that went with the season. She changed it, while talking to me, to a summer scene with a bench and people etc. We walked to some chairs nearby and sat to chat. We saw movement in the tall flowers/grass. At first I thought they were bunnies, but as they got closer we could see that they were coyote pups; Lots of them. I picked one up. They were so cute. As we were talking about them we saw the mama coyote in the flowers about 1/4 mile away. I put down the pup and we walked away.

Rene took me into a wooden trailer that was set up with a desk and had a crib behind that.  She handed me a baby on a pillow. He looked about 2 months old. I held him and walked outside.

As I walked, the scene changed and I was in the streets of  Japan. I saw a street ad like on a bench (but really just a sign) that had multiple Japanese girls, some with large pillows covering there torsos. Just then a huge tidal wave of snow crashed down over the city. I curled my body around the baby and huddled next to the sign. My point of view changed and I could see the windows in shops being broken, and things being over turned etc. Then it was gone. I stood up and walked  to the trailer (or another place similar) and found Pastor Scott there. I was excited as I told him that some girls will be saved. I had in my mind that everyone with a pillow was safe.

Pretty cool huh?

Again we have this idea of puppies (to me representing young people), but this time they are wild animals. The baby only reinforces the idea of young life that I am protecting. I'm not sure why Japan particularly, but it was missions week at church on Sunday, so my mind is on missions. Tidal waves/Tsunamis  are indigenous to that area, but this time it was snow... perhaps representing washing their sins "white as snow" as it says in the Bible. A pillow is definitely a security symbol, and because two Bible people, Rene and Pastor Scott, were in it, I have no problem thinking it's a spiritual matter, not really physical.

Anyway, I thought it was a cool dream. 

Food Glorious Food

I have moved on from cheese (Maybe cause I had some cheese on Sunday.) ...now I'm dreaming of burgers, tater-tots, and crab.  For anyone out of the loop, I'm fasting from animal products for 21 days. (not always succeeding when it comes to dairy, my true love. :-))

You may remember me saying that if you dream of the same theme three times in a row take note; It means that the massage/warning/whatever is sure to happen.

So what exactly does it mean when I dream about food three times in a row.  I'm surely going to eat? Ha, well of course I am.  There has to be something beyond that.

#1 There was no background. (Have you ever had a dream with no scenery? Erie isn't it?) The only 'props' were food stands. I was with the junior high youth pastors from my church and we were driving up to a "Tommy's Burger" style food stand with other food stands close by.

#2 With my father in the car, we pull up to a gas station. I say that I would like Burger King. (I don't even like Burger King, but it is also the only fast food that we had on base when I was growing up in the military.)  We go into Burger King and stand in line. Just as I think I'm next, a man squeezes in front of me with his order drawn out on napkins, cartoon style. The only drawing that stands out is one of a little crab, and he asks for "crabbers"; some sort of finger food made of crab.

The next thing I remember is standing by a salad bar type area, and a trashcan, and my tater-tots fall to the ground. I look around at the floor; It's gross. I think about the grossness of tater-tots and I see a gross guy in an old black sports car sitting at the drive-through window.  It's all repulsive.

#3 I'm on some type of mission trip with my husband. We are in a poor looking area, but it seems to be Italy. (We were just in Italy in October, but no place like this.) The restaurant that we are at (seems to be where we are staying as well) is a floating dock anchored to the side of a house. As we are sitting talking, his order comes. It's crab legs. I get upset because I haven't even ordered yet. He hands me the menu, tells me to chill out and pick something.  I pick a yummy stew with potatoes and tomatoes and other veges and spices. (It reminds me of the broth from the Oaxacan sea bass at Claim Jumper.)

Any way, I'd love to say I know exactly what they mean... but I don't.

If I took them all separately I could make some good guesses.  ...like, I'm about to start doing "The Truth Project" with the high school students, and I'm going to met with the youth pastors on Wednesday.  Right now there is no real structure for what I'll be doing, but we're going to look at the options and pick one.  That could interpret the first dream.

The second dream could be me talking myself out of wanting any type of fast food (Something I obviously don't get on the fast), by using one of the restaurants I don't like and making it appear grosser than it already is.

The third could be interpreted that though my husband and I are on a couple's trip, a mission no less, that he is still making the 'orders' before I have a chance to look at the menu. I may need to chill about these things, cause in the end, I still get something good.

All of that could be fine and completely understandable. But why did the last two both involve crab? ...tying them together. Why did the first two involve burger joints? ...linking them. Why did they all three center around food?

Yes, It is possible that I'm just obsessed because of the fast.

hmmm...

Church fires and Dachshunds, what?

I feel a bit weird telling you that yet again, there was a potty in my dream.  I must really need to unload some waste. ;)

 The dream's setting was church. I was in some type of women's group; there were women from my present church and the church we went to before. We were at a long table doing some sort of craft.  I got up to use the restroom. Went in, sat down, stayed there. People started knocking on the door (it was a small stall/room with sink included). I could hear and see (like looking down on the situation) the people outside on the stall. There was a group of guys from a rock band along with various other people. My husband came to the door angrily and ripped down the door/wall. I was pissed. I stood up pant-less and grabbed a hand towel to try and cover myself.  I walked out yelling at him, and two rock band guys went in. I looked around for my things and realized they were in the bathroom. I knocked and asked them to hand me my things.  The door cracked (yes, magically, it was back) and they threw out my stuff. I sat next to a dying fire that the other musicians were sitting around as I gathered my stuff. At one point I threw something (can't remember now what it was, but it was significant) into the fire and the flames shot up to bonfire status. The band who was waiting for the fire to die before they could leave, was now stuck there longer. I left, but I couldn't find my keys.

In the parking lot I saw my pastor and asked if he would help me. I gave him three options. "You can take me home, or you can call my peeps to come get me, or you can take me to your house and have them pick me up there," I said. He told me to get in, that he'd take me to his house for them to come there. 

As I rounded the small SUV there was another Pastor Scott, but with long, straight, shoulder length hair.  I looked over the car, and noticed they both had long hair. Then the first P. Scott took off the hair like a wig, and said, "That's my twin brother."

The long haired brother and I got in the back utility area where there were two brown Dachshund puppies. P. Scott took off, and the back utility door was still open. A wind tunnel was being created, and as we got on the on-ramp to the freeway, one puppy fell out. I reached my front half out and grabbed him and saved him. The P. Scott twin tried to get the door closed as I held the puppies. 

OK, obviously this one was not a positive dream. Emotions went from normal and happy to frustrated to pissed to 'oh no, oops' to confused to scared again.

The events of my 'real' last night may say a little something. I dropped my daughter off at church around 7:00 for her youth group that she wanted to attend. I did not stay even though there was a prayer meeting for the adults. I went to a Career Artists meeting instead. When I arrived to pick her up at 9:15 Pastor Scott was coming out, and the door was locked. He unlocked it for me and I went in to find my daughter in the back youth room. When we got home, I broke down and had a piece of my daughter's birthday cake even though I'm fasting from animal products right now. (The cake has eggs and cream.) And yes, I had another piece this morning. I suck when it comes to willpower. So, going to church may have helped me with those temptations, where, obviously, the CA meeting did not. (Though, I'd like to point out that I had nothing while at the meeting. ;-) )  I also talked with my husband on the phone about a parenting debate we're having over who my daughter can date now that she's 16.

As I look at my dreams, and me constantly in the bathroom in them, I wonder if it has to do with my struggle with the issues that surround my weight, or with my parenting, or with my time management. 

My husband getting impatient with me in last night's dream could indicate that at least in that dream that it was about the parenting. He's very frustrated that I haven't budged on my stance about my daughter dating who ever she chooses. (If you are a parent, you know that separation in the ranks causes multiple problems. The man feels disrespected; the woman feels like another child in the house... There's just an unpleasantness to all conversations or situations surrounding the topic.)

Back to the dream....  I'm pissed and exposed at church but now really only with this band who is waiting on a fire to die. (I should mention that my husband plays bass in the church band... but he wasn't there in that part of the dream). I imagine that the fire was blazing during the service, (fire not always a bad thing in regards to church... because of the symbolism of a 'holy fire' - passion.) I wish I could remember what I threw in the fire. It was long, like a flowing thick ribbon, or cloth, or possibly liquid.??? 

Anyway, I'm not sure about the Pastor Scott twin with long hair. I guess maybe it was something that 'put him into the band too' (the band members had long hair). 

I have a thing about puppies in my dreams. Not big dogs, but little puppies (and sometimes kittens). I am always saving them. Sometimes from waves in the ocean, or on cliffs, or from abandoned buildings, and this time from falling out of open moving vehicles. I'm not exactly sure, but I think it may have something to do with young people.  I am involved with the youth at church a little, and I never dreamed of the puppies until I got started with youth. Who knows. But it's interesting that Pastor Scott was driving and that the thing that made the puppy fall was a wind tunnel, and that it was out the back door on an on-ramp.  The Spirit of God is called "a mighty rushing wind".   The fast that I'm on is one version of a church wide 21 day fast that we are doing.  Fasts, in general, take you deeper in your spiritual walk. They can be very powerful, and of course, that's what we're hoping for. Our church (with P. Scott 'driving', but also with us in the work 'utility trunk') is a young church (3 years I think) that just now got our own building. In a way, this fast is our "on ramp" to the freeway of actually going, doing, and being a mission based church. (We have always had that as a focus, but it wasn't as possible without a building.)

Those are just some of my thoughts. Do you have any?