Last night's dream came out of left field.
In a couple of weeks we are going to Hawaii. My parents are going to meet my family there, and they are bringing with them their "god-daughter", Audrey Gore. My mom and Audrey's mom were best friends. Audrey's mom died a few years ago and her dad remarried without complete approval of the kids. Things have been awkward ever since.
Anyway, Audrey is now graduating from college, and for her present my parents offered to bring her to Hawaii with us. So I will be seeing her soon. (Last time I saw her was at Thanksgiving, which was the first time in years.) However, I have not been actively thinking of Audrey at all, and that is why the dream caught me off guard.
I have never dreamt specifically about Audrey. I have dreamt about her "family", especially back when her mother was alive. I've dreamt of their house often in the past too, but never Audrey specifically. I know this dream was to prepare me for Hawaii in some way, now I just have to figure it out. I thought the back-story would best be told before we got into the dream, so there you have it.
In the dream I was in a very large and deep pool holding baby (1 1/2- 2 yrs old) Audrey near the edge. She had her arms around my neck and I was holding the edge with one hand and cradling her with the other. My parents were swimming with us. The pool was fairly crowded, but not overly so. It was Olympic sized, and didn't have a shallow end. Concrete was all around. Because of the depth and the crowd I talked to my parents about taking Audrey someplace else. I got out and we walked outside to a place I had been before. It was a hot tub that's been in my dreams before... not too long ago. I got in with Audrey. There were college age(the age that Audrey is in real life) boys in the hot tub. While we were in the hot tub (which had two levels; we were in the lower one), I noticed the scenery. It was very different from what had been around the hot tub in my previous dream. It was like a swamp/lake. I've dreamt of that place before too. (In the previous dream I think there were alligators and I was swimming for my life.) Anyway, as I looked back the hot tub even had moss and algae growing on the edges. It all looked very old and run down. At this point I thought that the area was an old camp ground I had visited in my youth and that things had just gotten over grown. I picked up Audrey and we made our way up and out of the hot tub. (As we did, I worried about the boys noticing that I hadn't shaved. haha.) One mentioned to another that I was old when I was going up the steps. I turned and said, "I'm only 35!"
I looked down at the swamp/lake below (the hot tub was up on a cliff... but only like 20 feet high). There was an old mock pirate ship that I remembered from my "camp days". It was all covered with algae and moss and yuck, but there were still boys playing on it, so we went down to it. (I don't know how... that part kind of skipped.) We walked around on the ship briefly then decided to go back up. The side of the cliff had tree roots gnarling in and out of it and some trunks that started at the base were half buried in the side too. Audrey held on around my neck as I pulled myself up the side of the cliff on a rope/vine that was used for this purpose. Half way up, I noted that I had not taken the easy way, and that only 10 feet to my right there was a much better way. We would go down and try that way instead. Then I woke up.
When Audrey was little we all lived in Italy. Every now and again we would go to indoor water parks (usually in Austria). I can remember at least once going to one with Audrey and her family. It was the one time I attempted a flip off a high dive. I knocked the wind out of myself and couldn't breath even when I reached the surface of the water. It was so scary. The indoor section of the dream reminded me of that pool though... no shallow end, big, somewhat crowded with strangers, and scary.
Swimming in dreams is typically a refreshing or cleansing thing. However, noting the swampiness of our setting outside, I'm not sure this "cleansing" went as planned.
The fact that Audrey was represented as a baby just breaks my heart. She is the youngest of her siblings, and has no doubt had the hardest time of any of them with her mother's death and father's remarriage. She is worried about what the rest of her life is going to look like with college over and not feeling welcome to stay at her old house. It's a very deep pool indeed to be in.
The outdoor part of the dream seems like a lot of "trying" on my part, without any real success. A hot tub full of boys her age could be an attempt to lose her sorrow by being preoccupied with boys, but being a baby shows maybe she's not quite ready for that. (Maybe)
Then I take her down to a childhood play structure (the pirate ship) but it's all gross too. There's corrosion on both the hot tub and the pirate ship. So keeping her in a "child" state is not the answer either.
Then there's the mystery of going up out of that situation the hard way... realizing there is an easier way, but waking up before I took the easy way... all the while, Audrey still as a baby around my neck.
Well... I pray that our time in Hawaii would be healing, growing, and refreshing. I hope is some way, I'm able to help, and not make things worse. Dreams are typically warnings when they show bad things, so I consider myself warned to not make "cleansing plans" for Audrey. I'll just follow God's lead, not my own ideas.
Showing posts with label camp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label camp. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
"JJ's RV Jet", and "BFs Visit"
Two quite interesting dreams last night, very unlike any I've had for a while.
The first started on a private jet owned be my nephew in-law (highly unlikely). The jet was gutted and the inside looked like an RV. My nephew (JJ) was piloting and I was in back with my niece and her four girls, and 5 puppies. (Her dog had puppies back in January, and the last one was given away less than a month ago, so that's fresh in my mind.) We landed in a field that was partially dirt, partially grass, and looked like a camping area. There was another family nearby at a group of picnic tables. I played with the girls and the puppies for a while and then moved away from the jet towards the picnic table. My niece and her husband were dancing by a table and singing to some country music (again, highly unlikely) as if they were at a hoedown. I was very happy to see them so happy, but then I thought about the puppies. They were over near the jet unsupervised. I walked over there and some had wondered near the street and some were playing right where we left them. My dog Knuckles was there with them. He was done 'puppy-sitting'. We gathered up the puppies and I counted them as we boarded. Knuckles jumped up to sit in the co-pilot seat, and I can't remember for sure, but I think I got up to pilot this time.
The scene changed and we were at a stadium. We were walking up to our seats and about to watch a movie. I think it was "The Rescuers", (with the mice and the orphan 'Penny'.) All four girls, my niece, and JJ were sitting down and I was carrying popcorn etc. to the seats. (Maybe this is because I have been talking about taking them to a movie lately.)
In the next dream I was back with my two BFs from high school, Vanessa and Michelle. (In real life I just returned from a visit with them at Michelle's parents house in Maryland.) We were arriving at Michelle's parent's house again, even though in the dream it looked a little different. It resembled a doll house (which it kinda does in real life too). I had to go to the bathroom but each bathroom I went in had flushing problems, noted by paper still in the bowl, which I tried to flush with no luck. So I didn't want to add to the problem.
Everyone was getting ready to go out to eat, so I just decided I would go to the restroom at the restaurant. Vanessa, and I walked down to a ballroom that was attached to the hotel that we were now in somehow. and Michelle and her mom went on to see if our reservations at the restaurant were ready.
The ball room was set up with long banquet tables at one side and a huge dance floor in the middle. We went ahead and took a seat at a table with two other older men. Food started coming out and since we were hungry we started to eat. After a course or two, Michelle and her mother came in to get us to go to the restaurant. We said we would rather stay there since we had already started and also wouldn't have to walk any further. After a little protesting they stayed. Michelle had on a trench coat over a pink sequined gown that had a huge slit up the front. Vanessa was wearing purple, and I'm not sure what I was wearing as the dream was seen in first person. All three of us danced like little girls playing "princess" across the dance floor holding hands with Michelle in a circle. And that was all.
As for meaning...
Modes of transportation (as we've talked about before) symbolize life direction and circles of influence. For instance, bicycles are about the individual who's riding them and no one else. Family cars (especially with family in them) are about the driver's influence over their family circle. Buses deal with bigger sphere's of influence, trains and planes bigger still. It's important to note if you are a passenger or the driver.
In my first dream JJ was driving a private jet. A private jet, though small in influence is still different than a car. It's flying, not driving. The significance of that could be about soaring over obstacles, or being "above" in some way. It's a good thing though. The dancing that they were doing was good too, but both good things (jet and country music) were very unlike my niece and nephew. Perhaps it's saying something about them acting out of character in a good way soon. I don't know, but I was happy to see that I'm along for the ride.
My second dream, having to go to the bathroom (a typical theme for me) but not being able to because of "obstacles", could speak about not being able to say all that I wanted to say to my friend Michelle while we were there. We did talk about everything, but sometimes I couldn't think of words that would convey all I wanted to say. The "obstacle" present was a difference in our walks of faith. The day that Michelle left and it was just Vanessa and I for an evening we had a good talk and prayer about our individual (and joint) walks of faith. I imagine that is why Vanessa and I went to the ballroom and Michelle and her mom went to the restaurant in the dream. The good news is that Michelle later joined us in the ballroom and we danced like little girls. The trench coat she was wearing still signifies hiding in some way... Hiding a revealing but beautiful pink sequined gown. (As teens, pink was Michelle's favorite color.)
The first started on a private jet owned be my nephew in-law (highly unlikely). The jet was gutted and the inside looked like an RV. My nephew (JJ) was piloting and I was in back with my niece and her four girls, and 5 puppies. (Her dog had puppies back in January, and the last one was given away less than a month ago, so that's fresh in my mind.) We landed in a field that was partially dirt, partially grass, and looked like a camping area. There was another family nearby at a group of picnic tables. I played with the girls and the puppies for a while and then moved away from the jet towards the picnic table. My niece and her husband were dancing by a table and singing to some country music (again, highly unlikely) as if they were at a hoedown. I was very happy to see them so happy, but then I thought about the puppies. They were over near the jet unsupervised. I walked over there and some had wondered near the street and some were playing right where we left them. My dog Knuckles was there with them. He was done 'puppy-sitting'. We gathered up the puppies and I counted them as we boarded. Knuckles jumped up to sit in the co-pilot seat, and I can't remember for sure, but I think I got up to pilot this time.
The scene changed and we were at a stadium. We were walking up to our seats and about to watch a movie. I think it was "The Rescuers", (with the mice and the orphan 'Penny'.) All four girls, my niece, and JJ were sitting down and I was carrying popcorn etc. to the seats. (Maybe this is because I have been talking about taking them to a movie lately.)
In the next dream I was back with my two BFs from high school, Vanessa and Michelle. (In real life I just returned from a visit with them at Michelle's parents house in Maryland.) We were arriving at Michelle's parent's house again, even though in the dream it looked a little different. It resembled a doll house (which it kinda does in real life too). I had to go to the bathroom but each bathroom I went in had flushing problems, noted by paper still in the bowl, which I tried to flush with no luck. So I didn't want to add to the problem.
Everyone was getting ready to go out to eat, so I just decided I would go to the restroom at the restaurant. Vanessa, and I walked down to a ballroom that was attached to the hotel that we were now in somehow. and Michelle and her mom went on to see if our reservations at the restaurant were ready.
The ball room was set up with long banquet tables at one side and a huge dance floor in the middle. We went ahead and took a seat at a table with two other older men. Food started coming out and since we were hungry we started to eat. After a course or two, Michelle and her mother came in to get us to go to the restaurant. We said we would rather stay there since we had already started and also wouldn't have to walk any further. After a little protesting they stayed. Michelle had on a trench coat over a pink sequined gown that had a huge slit up the front. Vanessa was wearing purple, and I'm not sure what I was wearing as the dream was seen in first person. All three of us danced like little girls playing "princess" across the dance floor holding hands with Michelle in a circle. And that was all.
As for meaning...
Modes of transportation (as we've talked about before) symbolize life direction and circles of influence. For instance, bicycles are about the individual who's riding them and no one else. Family cars (especially with family in them) are about the driver's influence over their family circle. Buses deal with bigger sphere's of influence, trains and planes bigger still. It's important to note if you are a passenger or the driver.
In my first dream JJ was driving a private jet. A private jet, though small in influence is still different than a car. It's flying, not driving. The significance of that could be about soaring over obstacles, or being "above" in some way. It's a good thing though. The dancing that they were doing was good too, but both good things (jet and country music) were very unlike my niece and nephew. Perhaps it's saying something about them acting out of character in a good way soon. I don't know, but I was happy to see that I'm along for the ride.
My second dream, having to go to the bathroom (a typical theme for me) but not being able to because of "obstacles", could speak about not being able to say all that I wanted to say to my friend Michelle while we were there. We did talk about everything, but sometimes I couldn't think of words that would convey all I wanted to say. The "obstacle" present was a difference in our walks of faith. The day that Michelle left and it was just Vanessa and I for an evening we had a good talk and prayer about our individual (and joint) walks of faith. I imagine that is why Vanessa and I went to the ballroom and Michelle and her mom went to the restaurant in the dream. The good news is that Michelle later joined us in the ballroom and we danced like little girls. The trench coat she was wearing still signifies hiding in some way... Hiding a revealing but beautiful pink sequined gown. (As teens, pink was Michelle's favorite color.)
Labels:
camp,
choices,
dogs,
fancy,
food,
heights,
High School BF,
potty dreams,
puppies
Friday, March 25, 2011
More Exposure and Lack of Control
The night before last I had a dream about taking both dogs to "Camp Bow-wow" while I'm gone on vacation next month. That was simply pushing me to get a place lined up for them to stay.
Last night's wasn't so simple:
I had two dreams (that I remember), one in which I was with a group of girls at a mansion having a retreat of sorts (the girls were young, like teens and twenties,) and I had keys in my hand walking topless down the hall where there were a handful of bell boys and male desk clerks.
I was minding my own business, but was being suspected of something. I don't remember if it had to do with the keys, or being topless, or what, but the men (also in their twenties) were whispering about me, and one was following me to confront me. Towards the end of the dream he did confront me, but I shrugged it off and said I wasn't doing anything, just taking the keys to the room.
In the second dream I was with a group of older men (not elderly, just 40+) and we all had long aluminum tubes that we were making car frames out of. Each of us had our own and it was loopy. We had to straighten it, bend it, cut it... whatever to make it work. The aluminum caught fire easily just by banging the tip on a surface, and we were warned about that. I had very little control over the big long tube and mine caught on fire within a minute of me holding it. I asked for help to put it out, even from my dad, but they all just told me to blow on it. I tried to blow it out but it wouldn't; It even flared up at a few of my attempts.
The alarm rang, and I had to get up. :(
There is a very big theme this week of exposure, and incompetence.
I need to remember that dreams are generally warnings or your own doubts playing out, not necessarily a prediction of what is actually going to happen if you heed the warning.
With the girls on retreat I can wrap my head around being in a situation like that, but building cars with aluminum tubes with a bunch a men... I cannot.
Only because they were older than me, and that my dad was there, I have a feeling that they represent older men in church, building (metaphorically) church things that are mobile. I was trying to be one of them, but had no control.
I talked with my friend Carrie the other day, and the conversation led to "where I fit in at church". My son has stopped going to the kid's class. He is eleven, and it's just too "little kidish" for him now. I still help out in there, but it's become odd now that he's not in there. I had been doing stuff with the teenage girls, but that basically stopped at the end of last summer, and now the girls I know are about to graduate, so I don't really want to volunteer in there either. I haven't been a part of women's ministries in years, other than my own bible study I host at my home, which has nothing to do with my church.
So there it is, in black and white. I have assignments that I feel will be shared with the church once complete, and for now I will focus on those, but my dreams continue to hash out where I fit in ministry.
Last night's wasn't so simple:
I had two dreams (that I remember), one in which I was with a group of girls at a mansion having a retreat of sorts (the girls were young, like teens and twenties,) and I had keys in my hand walking topless down the hall where there were a handful of bell boys and male desk clerks.
I was minding my own business, but was being suspected of something. I don't remember if it had to do with the keys, or being topless, or what, but the men (also in their twenties) were whispering about me, and one was following me to confront me. Towards the end of the dream he did confront me, but I shrugged it off and said I wasn't doing anything, just taking the keys to the room.
In the second dream I was with a group of older men (not elderly, just 40+) and we all had long aluminum tubes that we were making car frames out of. Each of us had our own and it was loopy. We had to straighten it, bend it, cut it... whatever to make it work. The aluminum caught fire easily just by banging the tip on a surface, and we were warned about that. I had very little control over the big long tube and mine caught on fire within a minute of me holding it. I asked for help to put it out, even from my dad, but they all just told me to blow on it. I tried to blow it out but it wouldn't; It even flared up at a few of my attempts.
The alarm rang, and I had to get up. :(
There is a very big theme this week of exposure, and incompetence.
I need to remember that dreams are generally warnings or your own doubts playing out, not necessarily a prediction of what is actually going to happen if you heed the warning.
With the girls on retreat I can wrap my head around being in a situation like that, but building cars with aluminum tubes with a bunch a men... I cannot.
Only because they were older than me, and that my dad was there, I have a feeling that they represent older men in church, building (metaphorically) church things that are mobile. I was trying to be one of them, but had no control.
I talked with my friend Carrie the other day, and the conversation led to "where I fit in at church". My son has stopped going to the kid's class. He is eleven, and it's just too "little kidish" for him now. I still help out in there, but it's become odd now that he's not in there. I had been doing stuff with the teenage girls, but that basically stopped at the end of last summer, and now the girls I know are about to graduate, so I don't really want to volunteer in there either. I haven't been a part of women's ministries in years, other than my own bible study I host at my home, which has nothing to do with my church.
So there it is, in black and white. I have assignments that I feel will be shared with the church once complete, and for now I will focus on those, but my dreams continue to hash out where I fit in ministry.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Showing Off and Staying
As is generally the case, once I write about one dream after a long pause, I'll get another the very next day. It reminds me of the verse about being faithful with little leading to being trusted with more.
For the past few months I have literally been blowing my dreams off. After the prayer I told you about yesterday the thought of getting back to what God has called me to do has resonated in my head. This dream journal... as silly as it may be to some of you, is something God called me to do. This is "practice" for me. Some times other people's dreams make a lot more sense to me than my own, but how can I expect to be able to help with interpretation if I'm not willing to practice on my own?
With out further adieu, and whether you want it or not, here's last night's dream.
It started in a church office that reminded me more of a school library office I had in another dream last year. I was there to see my friend Carrie, who worked there. (She really works at the front desk of a Chiropractor's office.) The Dr. she works for was there too, and he was handing her some papers. I was talking to her while she filed things away.
We got to a part of our conversation that was private, so I told her we'd finish talking after she was done working. Then I walked out of the office and into another area of the church. I saw a room with people setting up for an evening event. I walked in with my son. I had diamonds on my teeth like a grill.
We sat down across from Tyler (my pastor's oldest son). We started talking to him about church and the event about to happen, and then we talked a little about ourselves. He kept mentioning that he enjoyed the same things I was saying I enjoyed. At one point I had stated that I was more into the arts than I was sports (duh), but that I understood his family was the opposite. He corrected me and said that he liked art better too. (I doubt that is really the case... unless you count music.) I was surprised.
Shortly after that interchange my son asked if we could go. We got up and I went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and spit out all the diamonds. I looked at my teeth and the glue holding the diamonds had left a brownish film on my teeth. I showed another girl who was in the bathroom too and asked her what I could do about it. She didn't see what I was talking about. I took my fingernail and scraped off a brown chunk of glue.(yuck) "See?" I asked. At that she was gone and I scrapped more of my teeth, then put the diamonds back to see if keeping them in was easier than scraping the gunk off. I realized I looked a little silly with them on and was embarrassed that I had been wearing them the whole time, so I threw the diamonds away.
My son was waiting for me outside of the door and when I came out he said he didn't want to go back to talk to Tyler anymore because I might end up getting married. (haha) So we walked outside and there was a huge line of people that went on for blocks, all headed to camp. We were supposed to be going too. As we were about to join the group I had a desire to not go and I asked my son, "Do you wanna stay home?" He agreed and we went down the line against the flow aiming for our house. About a block away from our house (which was depicted as a glass walled house that resembled the house from "The Brady Bunch") we crossed over a cinder block wall. I noticed my dog being led by an old school mate of mine on the other side of the wall that we had just crossed. I called to her, "Tisha, pass me Knuckles". So my son and I got Knuckles along with his bed, food dish, and camper crate, then we headed back to our house. The line of people extended past our house even. As we approached our house, I knew Carrie was there, staying too. Then I woke up.
I understand that a diamond grill is most likely something about showing off, and I get the idea that God is telling me that showing off in church basically looks silly... Stop it. He put Tyler there as the main person because He knows I admire Tyler. (I have a thing for preacher's kids... had the same thing at our old church, Sun Grove, with that pastor's oldest son. Granted I'm ten years older and happily married... It's just more of "eye candy" and "thought candy". No I'm not lusting... They both just happen to be attractive, and I admire the walk with God that they seemed to keep in the years that I fell off the wagon. Being a preacher's kid myself, I have always felt a connection with both sons, even though our conversations have been very few and very brief.)
As for the rest of the dream, I know I need to talk to Carrie, and there's that, but what about the long line going to camp, and why were the dogs going?
Tisha... most likely isn't my old school mate Tisha at all, but my other friend Tisha whom I just talked to yesterday (or Monday). I was very grateful for our history of friendship; for all the similarities that we have and how I know, above any other person, she can understand a lot of what my struggles have been.
So here she is in the dream guiding my dog for me to this place that all these church people are going to.
The first thing that my mind goes to (not sayin' I'm right), is concentration camps. It is rumored that the camps present in the US today are reserved for a day when Christianity will be outlawed. My mind could be thinking about this possibility and my desire to fight against submitting to that fate. In the dream I walk boldly against the stream of people going to camp. My son agrees with me, and we get our beloved dog and go home to a glass house. The glass house clearly (no pun intended) symbolizes exposure. If I stay, I will not be in hiding in any way... even as I go to talk about private things with my friend Carrie. (Who, BTW, would stay in the face of danger too, I'm sure.)
For the past few months I have literally been blowing my dreams off. After the prayer I told you about yesterday the thought of getting back to what God has called me to do has resonated in my head. This dream journal... as silly as it may be to some of you, is something God called me to do. This is "practice" for me. Some times other people's dreams make a lot more sense to me than my own, but how can I expect to be able to help with interpretation if I'm not willing to practice on my own?
With out further adieu, and whether you want it or not, here's last night's dream.
It started in a church office that reminded me more of a school library office I had in another dream last year. I was there to see my friend Carrie, who worked there. (She really works at the front desk of a Chiropractor's office.) The Dr. she works for was there too, and he was handing her some papers. I was talking to her while she filed things away.
We got to a part of our conversation that was private, so I told her we'd finish talking after she was done working. Then I walked out of the office and into another area of the church. I saw a room with people setting up for an evening event. I walked in with my son. I had diamonds on my teeth like a grill.
We sat down across from Tyler (my pastor's oldest son). We started talking to him about church and the event about to happen, and then we talked a little about ourselves. He kept mentioning that he enjoyed the same things I was saying I enjoyed. At one point I had stated that I was more into the arts than I was sports (duh), but that I understood his family was the opposite. He corrected me and said that he liked art better too. (I doubt that is really the case... unless you count music.) I was surprised.
Shortly after that interchange my son asked if we could go. We got up and I went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and spit out all the diamonds. I looked at my teeth and the glue holding the diamonds had left a brownish film on my teeth. I showed another girl who was in the bathroom too and asked her what I could do about it. She didn't see what I was talking about. I took my fingernail and scraped off a brown chunk of glue.(yuck) "See?" I asked. At that she was gone and I scrapped more of my teeth, then put the diamonds back to see if keeping them in was easier than scraping the gunk off. I realized I looked a little silly with them on and was embarrassed that I had been wearing them the whole time, so I threw the diamonds away.
My son was waiting for me outside of the door and when I came out he said he didn't want to go back to talk to Tyler anymore because I might end up getting married. (haha) So we walked outside and there was a huge line of people that went on for blocks, all headed to camp. We were supposed to be going too. As we were about to join the group I had a desire to not go and I asked my son, "Do you wanna stay home?" He agreed and we went down the line against the flow aiming for our house. About a block away from our house (which was depicted as a glass walled house that resembled the house from "The Brady Bunch") we crossed over a cinder block wall. I noticed my dog being led by an old school mate of mine on the other side of the wall that we had just crossed. I called to her, "Tisha, pass me Knuckles". So my son and I got Knuckles along with his bed, food dish, and camper crate, then we headed back to our house. The line of people extended past our house even. As we approached our house, I knew Carrie was there, staying too. Then I woke up.
I understand that a diamond grill is most likely something about showing off, and I get the idea that God is telling me that showing off in church basically looks silly... Stop it. He put Tyler there as the main person because He knows I admire Tyler. (I have a thing for preacher's kids... had the same thing at our old church, Sun Grove, with that pastor's oldest son. Granted I'm ten years older and happily married... It's just more of "eye candy" and "thought candy". No I'm not lusting... They both just happen to be attractive, and I admire the walk with God that they seemed to keep in the years that I fell off the wagon. Being a preacher's kid myself, I have always felt a connection with both sons, even though our conversations have been very few and very brief.)
As for the rest of the dream, I know I need to talk to Carrie, and there's that, but what about the long line going to camp, and why were the dogs going?
Tisha... most likely isn't my old school mate Tisha at all, but my other friend Tisha whom I just talked to yesterday (or Monday). I was very grateful for our history of friendship; for all the similarities that we have and how I know, above any other person, she can understand a lot of what my struggles have been.
So here she is in the dream guiding my dog for me to this place that all these church people are going to.
The first thing that my mind goes to (not sayin' I'm right), is concentration camps. It is rumored that the camps present in the US today are reserved for a day when Christianity will be outlawed. My mind could be thinking about this possibility and my desire to fight against submitting to that fate. In the dream I walk boldly against the stream of people going to camp. My son agrees with me, and we get our beloved dog and go home to a glass house. The glass house clearly (no pun intended) symbolizes exposure. If I stay, I will not be in hiding in any way... even as I go to talk about private things with my friend Carrie. (Who, BTW, would stay in the face of danger too, I'm sure.)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Laundry and Teeth
Last night's dream stared me and my mom.
I was doing laundry... putting clothes in a very deep washing machine. Then I went to my mom's room and was looking for clothes to pack to go to summer camp. She opened a lower drawer for me and I started digging through it. I pulled out one shirt that I thought was something I wanted, then as I unfolded it, it became my son's Perry the Platypus T-shirt. Again I reached in the drawer and pulled out an article of clothing that ended up being my son's underwear. I pulled out one more thing of my son's and complained to my mom that these things aren't mine, they are his.
That was the extent of the dream.
As for interpretation... With me clothing dreams have to do with my weight and what track I'm on concerning my body. This specific dream equates me with my son. I started a diet this week... the same diet that I did this summer while my son was at a weight loss summer camp. I am mentally preparing myself for the journey ahead. It was so much easier when no kids were home this summer, but I won't have that this summer, so I'm going ahead and doing it now. The deep washing machine tells me that there is a lot of "cleansing" to do, and the lower drawer tells me that I'm at the bottom of this thing.
Saturday night I had another interesting dream. The night itself was interesting because I was dog sitting three dogs that were not mine. Two of them are chiweenie puppies, the same age as my Lhasa apso puppy. Very "needy" pups. Because I am such a push over I slept with all three of the other dogs and my own puppy. First on the couch, then up in the guest room. Every time I would move they would all wake up and re-arrange themselves. It was a long night to say the least!
Anyway I think the dream spoke of my situation as well as me being a push-over in general, and my indecision... or more pointedly, my inability to stick to decisions... to stand up to others, or even dogs for that matter.
The dream started with my sister and I walking to a camp site. (My sister, though I have no right to blame her any further, is the root of where I got my "door mat" status. She's a year older than me and was my boss and my mouth piece all through childhood.) We got to the area that we thought should be camp and there was a parking garage. We went up some cement stairs that were enclosed just like in a normal parking garage. As we looked we started to hear voices. It was my dad along with the rest of the youth group for camp. (My dad was a youth pastor for much of my childhood.) We scurried back down the stairs to meet them. There was a discussion that I didn't hear and my sister came to me and said, "they don't have room for everyone in the nice cabins. You and I should take one of the bad ones."
Well, I didn't want to take a bad one, but I didn't say anything. Then June (a lady from my church who is famous for her hugs) came up to me and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You don't deserve a bad room, you should have a nice one."
I looked at my dad who was talking to the group and noticed that his teeth were brown and that they were fanned out on the top row like the old cartoon drawings of hillbillies. I saw that he had a cup of coffee in his hand. "You should rinse your mouth ofter you drink coffee Dad," I said. (Our dentist just told my daughter the same thing about soda last week... that's where that's from.) Then out of nowhere my grandmother (Dad's mom) appears and walks up to my dad and pulls out one of his teeth. The tooth she pulled came from the canine area, but it looked like a molar. My dad protested and then he pulled out his entire top row of teeth all at once on a metal grid. The teeth were large and each wrapped with metal that strung them all together. He was pointing out the spot that the one she had pulled came from, and arguing with her. Then I woke up.
As I said, I think that night, feeling very "trampled on", both figuratively, and literally, this dream speaks to being pushed around and being indecisive. My dad is the same way. Also, loosing teeth in dreams usually has to do with not being about to deal with things. (lost Incisors = indecision, lost molars = inability to "chew on things") That's John Paul Jackson's theory, not mine... But it seems to hold true in my dreams. Perhaps the image of my dad with terrible teeth is a symbolic warning of sorts to what lies ahead of me if I don't get this thing under control.
I was doing laundry... putting clothes in a very deep washing machine. Then I went to my mom's room and was looking for clothes to pack to go to summer camp. She opened a lower drawer for me and I started digging through it. I pulled out one shirt that I thought was something I wanted, then as I unfolded it, it became my son's Perry the Platypus T-shirt. Again I reached in the drawer and pulled out an article of clothing that ended up being my son's underwear. I pulled out one more thing of my son's and complained to my mom that these things aren't mine, they are his.
That was the extent of the dream.
As for interpretation... With me clothing dreams have to do with my weight and what track I'm on concerning my body. This specific dream equates me with my son. I started a diet this week... the same diet that I did this summer while my son was at a weight loss summer camp. I am mentally preparing myself for the journey ahead. It was so much easier when no kids were home this summer, but I won't have that this summer, so I'm going ahead and doing it now. The deep washing machine tells me that there is a lot of "cleansing" to do, and the lower drawer tells me that I'm at the bottom of this thing.
Saturday night I had another interesting dream. The night itself was interesting because I was dog sitting three dogs that were not mine. Two of them are chiweenie puppies, the same age as my Lhasa apso puppy. Very "needy" pups. Because I am such a push over I slept with all three of the other dogs and my own puppy. First on the couch, then up in the guest room. Every time I would move they would all wake up and re-arrange themselves. It was a long night to say the least!
Anyway I think the dream spoke of my situation as well as me being a push-over in general, and my indecision... or more pointedly, my inability to stick to decisions... to stand up to others, or even dogs for that matter.
The dream started with my sister and I walking to a camp site. (My sister, though I have no right to blame her any further, is the root of where I got my "door mat" status. She's a year older than me and was my boss and my mouth piece all through childhood.) We got to the area that we thought should be camp and there was a parking garage. We went up some cement stairs that were enclosed just like in a normal parking garage. As we looked we started to hear voices. It was my dad along with the rest of the youth group for camp. (My dad was a youth pastor for much of my childhood.) We scurried back down the stairs to meet them. There was a discussion that I didn't hear and my sister came to me and said, "they don't have room for everyone in the nice cabins. You and I should take one of the bad ones."
Well, I didn't want to take a bad one, but I didn't say anything. Then June (a lady from my church who is famous for her hugs) came up to me and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You don't deserve a bad room, you should have a nice one."
I looked at my dad who was talking to the group and noticed that his teeth were brown and that they were fanned out on the top row like the old cartoon drawings of hillbillies. I saw that he had a cup of coffee in his hand. "You should rinse your mouth ofter you drink coffee Dad," I said. (Our dentist just told my daughter the same thing about soda last week... that's where that's from.) Then out of nowhere my grandmother (Dad's mom) appears and walks up to my dad and pulls out one of his teeth. The tooth she pulled came from the canine area, but it looked like a molar. My dad protested and then he pulled out his entire top row of teeth all at once on a metal grid. The teeth were large and each wrapped with metal that strung them all together. He was pointing out the spot that the one she had pulled came from, and arguing with her. Then I woke up.
As I said, I think that night, feeling very "trampled on", both figuratively, and literally, this dream speaks to being pushed around and being indecisive. My dad is the same way. Also, loosing teeth in dreams usually has to do with not being about to deal with things. (lost Incisors = indecision, lost molars = inability to "chew on things") That's John Paul Jackson's theory, not mine... But it seems to hold true in my dreams. Perhaps the image of my dad with terrible teeth is a symbolic warning of sorts to what lies ahead of me if I don't get this thing under control.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
A Retreat, a Reunion, and an Animal Cruelty Documentary
The first dream of the night was about a women's retreat. I was there with tons of other church women I know. (I most likely dreamed of this because I was explaining to my sister last night how I met Kookye... which was at retreat.) In the dream we were staying up late (as usual) but in a totally new place. The cabins were like another camp dream I've had before that reminded me of a cruise.
There was a long line of sinks in the bathroom and bunk beds lining the walls of our rooms. I was the person in the group who was determined to stay up til morning. We had been running around goofing off outside and I had to go inside to pee. I found out I was on my period (which actually happened this morning), then I came out of the bathroom to a room of sleepy ladies about to go to bed. The clock said 3:00, and I said, "come on, let's go swimming!"
I went outside to some familiar pools (ones I dreamed of a while back in a dream about my ex-father-in-law and weight loss.) There was a normal pool and a hot tub, both very large. I jumped in the hot tub and thought it might make everyone sleepier, so I got in the cold one. I looked around and saw that no one joined me.
The dream switched and it was day time and I was in the pool at a reunion. (Another dream I've had before with Paul, if you remember. But the pool was still the same large square one from the dream about weight-loss.) This time the pool was again, mostly boys, and one came over to be my protector. He looked similar to some boys I've known in the past but not like one particular person. He was skinny and tall, and white with a pointy nose. He had on a leather jacket and jeans. I swam around with him for a while kind of backed up into his arms. Some other boy was trying to take me from him, but he was defending me. Then I got out. I rationalized with myself that I really didn't know him and he was never my boyfriend. Once I was out of the pool I walked around a stadium type place (again very much like the dream I had a while back that Guy and Mr. Leander were in). I saw lots of people and then out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane (another old boyfriend... my favorite from my youth). He had just arrived from being overseas (which makes sense because he's in the Air Force, and goes overseas fairly often). He still looked just like he did in 1989 with his long hair and glasses. He was wearing a black leather jacket that glistened like it was wet. He disappeared from my view, and I spent a few minutes trying to find him. Finally, I did, and walked over trying to get him to talk to me. I even put my hands around his neck, but he was determined to ignore me. Again, I was left disappointed.
My third dream started like I was watching a documentary, but shortly into the film, it was like I was there and being shown through the farm/factory.
The documentary was about the mistreatment of children and animals in Laos. (This idea popped up out of nowhere... it has no relevance with anything going on it my life... which is one reason it's so disturbing.) There was one small boy that the film followed through the entire process, but very quickly into the film. The mistreatment of the children and the animals went hand in hand, because he was the one forced to treat the animals the way they were treated. It started with him in a pin full of hay and mud like he had just finished taking the animals out, then the scene switched to a line of beheaded, de-footed, and skinned pig looking animals. They were still 'walking' in the line to get slaughtered though. The boy explained how he had to chop of their feet while they were still fluffy, and the imagery went to him bounding rabbits by their feet and chopping off their heads, then their feet, while still tied. The skinning was done by someone else. Even though everything had looked like pigs before, I got the understanding that this was a rabbit farm. The boy cried when he talked about how cute they were before he had to kill them with the machete.
I woke up quite disturbed.
So other than being disappointed after each dream, I don't see much of a relation between them.
Like I said, the Laos dream came out of no where, so I'll be thinking this morning about any possible meaning...
There was a long line of sinks in the bathroom and bunk beds lining the walls of our rooms. I was the person in the group who was determined to stay up til morning. We had been running around goofing off outside and I had to go inside to pee. I found out I was on my period (which actually happened this morning), then I came out of the bathroom to a room of sleepy ladies about to go to bed. The clock said 3:00, and I said, "come on, let's go swimming!"
I went outside to some familiar pools (ones I dreamed of a while back in a dream about my ex-father-in-law and weight loss.) There was a normal pool and a hot tub, both very large. I jumped in the hot tub and thought it might make everyone sleepier, so I got in the cold one. I looked around and saw that no one joined me.
The dream switched and it was day time and I was in the pool at a reunion. (Another dream I've had before with Paul, if you remember. But the pool was still the same large square one from the dream about weight-loss.) This time the pool was again, mostly boys, and one came over to be my protector. He looked similar to some boys I've known in the past but not like one particular person. He was skinny and tall, and white with a pointy nose. He had on a leather jacket and jeans. I swam around with him for a while kind of backed up into his arms. Some other boy was trying to take me from him, but he was defending me. Then I got out. I rationalized with myself that I really didn't know him and he was never my boyfriend. Once I was out of the pool I walked around a stadium type place (again very much like the dream I had a while back that Guy and Mr. Leander were in). I saw lots of people and then out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane (another old boyfriend... my favorite from my youth). He had just arrived from being overseas (which makes sense because he's in the Air Force, and goes overseas fairly often). He still looked just like he did in 1989 with his long hair and glasses. He was wearing a black leather jacket that glistened like it was wet. He disappeared from my view, and I spent a few minutes trying to find him. Finally, I did, and walked over trying to get him to talk to me. I even put my hands around his neck, but he was determined to ignore me. Again, I was left disappointed.
My third dream started like I was watching a documentary, but shortly into the film, it was like I was there and being shown through the farm/factory.
The documentary was about the mistreatment of children and animals in Laos. (This idea popped up out of nowhere... it has no relevance with anything going on it my life... which is one reason it's so disturbing.) There was one small boy that the film followed through the entire process, but very quickly into the film. The mistreatment of the children and the animals went hand in hand, because he was the one forced to treat the animals the way they were treated. It started with him in a pin full of hay and mud like he had just finished taking the animals out, then the scene switched to a line of beheaded, de-footed, and skinned pig looking animals. They were still 'walking' in the line to get slaughtered though. The boy explained how he had to chop of their feet while they were still fluffy, and the imagery went to him bounding rabbits by their feet and chopping off their heads, then their feet, while still tied. The skinning was done by someone else. Even though everything had looked like pigs before, I got the understanding that this was a rabbit farm. The boy cried when he talked about how cute they were before he had to kill them with the machete.
I woke up quite disturbed.
So other than being disappointed after each dream, I don't see much of a relation between them.
Like I said, the Laos dream came out of no where, so I'll be thinking this morning about any possible meaning...
Labels:
blood,
camp,
church women,
ex,
swimming,
three in one night
Monday, June 28, 2010
Closets and Camp
Still not sleeping great. I made a point to not drink so much water so close to bed time, so I was only up 3 times last night, but it took me forever to fall asleep. I'm allowed to have coffee and tea on this diet (which I don't usually have much of), and I had two espressos yesterday and a cup of tea... I think that's what did it.
Today... only in the AM!
On to the dream...
I was at a house from my childhood (from when I was a teenager at VAFB), but the carpets were from my friend Barbara's house. The carpets were mildewed and in bad shape. I was walking around with pants and a bra on thinking about the carpet when I noticed an old man walking up the driveway. I darted into my parent's bathroom and slumped down on the floor so I couldn't be seen. (The driveway came right past their bathroom window.) I could hear the man talking to my mom or somebody. He looked and sounded like Doc Hopper, the villain from "The Muppet Movie".
After that I went to look for a shirt. I looked in my mom's closet, which turned into a film set wardrobe area, with rolling racks of clothes. I found a cute white pique top with a scoop neck, short poof sleeves, and a coral band around the low waist. I put it on and then looked for a bottom. I found a floral skirt that watched nicely. It had a belt that wove in and out of the upper material. The skirt was very full and I had to tuck in the shirt. Once I did, I didn't like it anymore cause it made me look like a balloon. So I took it off. There were two camp counselors (one girl who looked like an old college teacher, Jane Wu, and one boy who reminded me of my son's camp counselor). They were telling me it was time to get going and that I had to hurry. We were going to San Fransisco for the day. I quickly found some jean shorts to shove on, and as I was putting away some other things I found a stash of baklava that had been hidden from us from an earlier meal. (The stash was in an antique side bar that I have in my hallway in my room, in real life.) I grabbed a few hand fulls and made a break for the road. It was a busy street with lots of cars and a very steep hill... like we were already in Frisco. I crossed to the center divide and started walking up hill following other campers, with some still behind me. ...and that was the end.
Well, obviously my dreams are having camp details thrown in because of my son being at camp.
My college illustration teacher, Jane Wu, was probably the most challenging teacher I had, so that speaks to challenge; I'm not sure if for me, or for my son.
Sneaking baklava out of my own sidebar in a place that my furniture did not belong, is very telling of how my diet is going. Yes, I'm still sticking to it and doing well at it, but the temptation to cheat (especially with one of my favorite sweets, baklava) is very strong. My way is to sneak. (If nobody sees, it really doesn't count, right?) WRONG. I HAVE to get that type of thinking OUT!
Why San Fran? I don't know. I saw pictures of my son hiking at camp the other day... perhaps walking the streets of San Fransisco is the closest I will come to hiking. :-)
Doc Hopper was a sneaky villain... why was he coming to my house? I think it had to do with the carpets. I have been spending more time with Barbara lately. We even talked about shampooing her carpets while we were on our walk today. Who's the villain that has to do with Barbara? hmmm.
And here I am again with just a bra! and again with looking through clothes. hmmm.
I should look at the past dreams with these themes again and see if I can draw any conclusions.
Today... only in the AM!
On to the dream...
I was at a house from my childhood (from when I was a teenager at VAFB), but the carpets were from my friend Barbara's house. The carpets were mildewed and in bad shape. I was walking around with pants and a bra on thinking about the carpet when I noticed an old man walking up the driveway. I darted into my parent's bathroom and slumped down on the floor so I couldn't be seen. (The driveway came right past their bathroom window.) I could hear the man talking to my mom or somebody. He looked and sounded like Doc Hopper, the villain from "The Muppet Movie".
After that I went to look for a shirt. I looked in my mom's closet, which turned into a film set wardrobe area, with rolling racks of clothes. I found a cute white pique top with a scoop neck, short poof sleeves, and a coral band around the low waist. I put it on and then looked for a bottom. I found a floral skirt that watched nicely. It had a belt that wove in and out of the upper material. The skirt was very full and I had to tuck in the shirt. Once I did, I didn't like it anymore cause it made me look like a balloon. So I took it off. There were two camp counselors (one girl who looked like an old college teacher, Jane Wu, and one boy who reminded me of my son's camp counselor). They were telling me it was time to get going and that I had to hurry. We were going to San Fransisco for the day. I quickly found some jean shorts to shove on, and as I was putting away some other things I found a stash of baklava that had been hidden from us from an earlier meal. (The stash was in an antique side bar that I have in my hallway in my room, in real life.) I grabbed a few hand fulls and made a break for the road. It was a busy street with lots of cars and a very steep hill... like we were already in Frisco. I crossed to the center divide and started walking up hill following other campers, with some still behind me. ...and that was the end.
Well, obviously my dreams are having camp details thrown in because of my son being at camp.
My college illustration teacher, Jane Wu, was probably the most challenging teacher I had, so that speaks to challenge; I'm not sure if for me, or for my son.
Sneaking baklava out of my own sidebar in a place that my furniture did not belong, is very telling of how my diet is going. Yes, I'm still sticking to it and doing well at it, but the temptation to cheat (especially with one of my favorite sweets, baklava) is very strong. My way is to sneak. (If nobody sees, it really doesn't count, right?) WRONG. I HAVE to get that type of thinking OUT!
Why San Fran? I don't know. I saw pictures of my son hiking at camp the other day... perhaps walking the streets of San Fransisco is the closest I will come to hiking. :-)
Doc Hopper was a sneaky villain... why was he coming to my house? I think it had to do with the carpets. I have been spending more time with Barbara lately. We even talked about shampooing her carpets while we were on our walk today. Who's the villain that has to do with Barbara? hmmm.
And here I am again with just a bra! and again with looking through clothes. hmmm.
I should look at the past dreams with these themes again and see if I can draw any conclusions.
Labels:
camp,
choices,
fashion,
food,
house from childhood
Sunday, June 27, 2010
My Sister's Bungalow
Last night's dream:
I was in a room at a camp type setting with my sister. (Yes, her again... perhaps I should really talk to her next time she visits. ;-)
Anyway the room grew as we stayed there. It started very bungalow-esk and then by the time the dream was over it was like our godparent's (the Love's) house. (Yes, their last name is Love. ...which I'm sure has a significance to the dream's meaning.)
At first we were just settling in. Then there was a hamster that we had to take care of. (I'm pretty sure that imagery came from the Kia Soul Hamster commercial that played at the movie theater yesterday.)
The hamster was a hand full. I was trying to set him up in a Barbie doll house. (Last Wednesday I also saw "Toy Story 3".)
Anyway, as we gathered things and as we got ready for bed the small bungalow room became a two story house (also somewhat bungalowy ala the movie I saw yesterday "Knight and Day", when they were on the secluded island... but with just enough of the Love's house to recognize it.)
There was a movie on the TV; a western. (The TV was always on at the Love's). The stairs were the same as the ones that led up to the Love's game room. (The same stairs I fell down when I was a kid and knocked out my front tooth.)
I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I remember that I was trying to go to bed/fall asleep, and I couldn't, I was uneasy about something. (I did have a hard time sleeping for real last night. On this diet I'm drinking LOTS of water, and I had to get up and pee 5 times!)
Meaning... well, my sister lives in an early 1900's bungalow style house (not the type of tropical bungalow I was dreaming of, but perhaps it was just about the name bungalow that would point me to her.) So here I am at my sister's house... kind-of, but we were both looking around and getting settled. It was also the Love's house... our "god"parents from childhood. This could be a stretch, but perhaps it's about showing her God's love, and getting her settled in His house, which would be Him inside of her... still "her" house. My uneasy feeling comes around often when I think of her "walk" with God.
As for the hamster and the Barbie house, I'm pretty sure that's just media getting in there. I was a big Barbie freak as a child though. My daughter had a hamster once, and at that point in her life we often called her by my sister's name because they were so alike.
Well, no more time to think, I've got to go to church.
I was in a room at a camp type setting with my sister. (Yes, her again... perhaps I should really talk to her next time she visits. ;-)
Anyway the room grew as we stayed there. It started very bungalow-esk and then by the time the dream was over it was like our godparent's (the Love's) house. (Yes, their last name is Love. ...which I'm sure has a significance to the dream's meaning.)
At first we were just settling in. Then there was a hamster that we had to take care of. (I'm pretty sure that imagery came from the Kia Soul Hamster commercial that played at the movie theater yesterday.)
The hamster was a hand full. I was trying to set him up in a Barbie doll house. (Last Wednesday I also saw "Toy Story 3".)
Anyway, as we gathered things and as we got ready for bed the small bungalow room became a two story house (also somewhat bungalowy ala the movie I saw yesterday "Knight and Day", when they were on the secluded island... but with just enough of the Love's house to recognize it.)
There was a movie on the TV; a western. (The TV was always on at the Love's). The stairs were the same as the ones that led up to the Love's game room. (The same stairs I fell down when I was a kid and knocked out my front tooth.)
I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I remember that I was trying to go to bed/fall asleep, and I couldn't, I was uneasy about something. (I did have a hard time sleeping for real last night. On this diet I'm drinking LOTS of water, and I had to get up and pee 5 times!)
Meaning... well, my sister lives in an early 1900's bungalow style house (not the type of tropical bungalow I was dreaming of, but perhaps it was just about the name bungalow that would point me to her.) So here I am at my sister's house... kind-of, but we were both looking around and getting settled. It was also the Love's house... our "god"parents from childhood. This could be a stretch, but perhaps it's about showing her God's love, and getting her settled in His house, which would be Him inside of her... still "her" house. My uneasy feeling comes around often when I think of her "walk" with God.
As for the hamster and the Barbie house, I'm pretty sure that's just media getting in there. I was a big Barbie freak as a child though. My daughter had a hamster once, and at that point in her life we often called her by my sister's name because they were so alike.
Well, no more time to think, I've got to go to church.
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