First demonic dream in a while...
I've tried to block it out a bit, so you'll only get glimpses...
There was a trolley involved. I was traveling. I came to a little room, not so much like a hotel room as a cabin. I unlocked the door and went inside to settle myself. Then there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there was an over weight baby-faced guy delivering something (can't remember what). I took the thing and then proceeded to close the door. He stepped in and attempted to kiss me. I shoved him away. (I think I had a little girl with me somewhere in the room. My friend Kathy's adopted daughter.)(I saw them yesterday.) I tried to get him out the door, but he was over powering me. Instead of going into the house I decided I would have an easier time getting away if I ran. So I started running. I don't remember if he turned into a tall black woman, or if I just saw her to my right. As I was running he/she began to ooze a clear goop out of somewhere near the top of his/her head. Then she/he began to fling it at me. It hit my head and moved down my face obscuring my vision. I was trying to wipe my eyes as I ran but the stuff was so thick I couldn't remove it, and now it was just getting all over my hands and arms too. I couldn't continue running, but I kept struggling. As he/she came closer I started to realize it was demonic. I began to say, "Go away, in the name of Jesus", but my words were only whispers (as they often are in these dreams). I tried over and over again until I was aware that I was sleeping, and that the only way I was going to be able to speak up was if I woke up. So I woke up. I lay in my bed catching my breath for a minute then told the spirit to leave. (and 5 minutes later... I was back asleep).
I did have another dream in my second half of sleep and it was a pleasant one.. but I can't remember it.
The dream reminds me of a conversation I had with Tanya the other day. We were talking about demons bringing "gifts" to our door. "Gifts" of lies, like "You're not good enough." or "You can't do this, give up." (stuff like that) Tanya equated those lies that we often accept as packages arriving full of $#!** and us signing for it, and saying, "Oh thanks" as we take the package full of $#!** into our house, and then proceed to rub it on ourselves like lotion.
In the dream, I accepted the package... giving the demon a foot in the door. I didn't KNOW it was a demon at the time. He was offering me something I wanted, like pizza. (on this diet... I'd die for some pizza). It's interesting that he was fat; like he represented all these temptations to cheat on my diet... or just to give up and be happy with being over weight.
He wanted to obscure my vision with the ooze stuff... that's what demons do; They just don't want you to see things clearly. If they can make it look better (and you get to live in denial), or if they can make things look worse (and you get to live life depressed), either way works for them. "Don't deal with the problem, and we'll always have a 'way in'," they say.
I'm praying this morning that that was a Solomon type experience. (Going back to when Solomon asked for wisdom in a dream... and it really happened.) I would love to have just fought that demon and won, in real life. I don't want him back.
I have such a hard time with food, and such a hard time believing I can do this. I don't want to accept those lies as presents anymore... they are packages of $#!**.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Crayons in the Pool, and Food I Can't Have.
real quick...
I had a dream about my son coloring at the bottom of a pool and leaving the crayons down there. In the morning the pool was full of water and the crayons were still at the bottom of the pool.
Dream #2 had a HUGE spread of yummy food at a side bar... all dessertish... Baklava was among them... lots of it. I started to put some on my plate. My mom and family were there. Then I sat down and a friend's son, Justin Parrish, was sitting to my left. He opened a bag and out poured tons of sliced papaya. On the table there was pineapple and other tropical fruits. I looked at it all and said, "I can't have any of that."
That was the extent of the dream.
(this diet is driving me batty.)
I had a dream about my son coloring at the bottom of a pool and leaving the crayons down there. In the morning the pool was full of water and the crayons were still at the bottom of the pool.
Dream #2 had a HUGE spread of yummy food at a side bar... all dessertish... Baklava was among them... lots of it. I started to put some on my plate. My mom and family were there. Then I sat down and a friend's son, Justin Parrish, was sitting to my left. He opened a bag and out poured tons of sliced papaya. On the table there was pineapple and other tropical fruits. I looked at it all and said, "I can't have any of that."
That was the extent of the dream.
(this diet is driving me batty.)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Propositioned in a Theater
Last night's dream was disturbing.
I have no clue it's origin... Other than I was disturbed last night due to an upsetting e-mail from my son at camp. Poor little guy is having a hard time.
In the dream I had to sit in a seat that nearly hung over the edge of a very high balcony in a theater. There was something to do with college (noted by the people I saw around me). I sat waiting on an assembly of some sort to start.
Then two teen aged boys walked up to me propositioning me. One looked a lot like Paul Bettany (the dude who played the gambling poet in "A Knight's Tale".) He was scrawny and had redish hair and was naked. the other boy was the one that did the talking and was trying to get me to have sex with the red headed boy. They went so far as to show me his penis (which looked a lot like a finger with multiple bony knuckles) and give a detailed account of how each of the "knuckles" would feel.
I was repulsed, but was actually contemplating saying yes. Thankfully, I woke up before I made any decisions.
Aside from the strange penis... I can tell you that heights frighten me and that my college years were the biggest challenge of my life. Those two things make sense to be in last night's dream because of the fear I was feeling about my son, and about the challenge (the hardest of HIS life) that he is facing. The boys and the sex and the freaky penis... I have NO idea.
I have no clue it's origin... Other than I was disturbed last night due to an upsetting e-mail from my son at camp. Poor little guy is having a hard time.
In the dream I had to sit in a seat that nearly hung over the edge of a very high balcony in a theater. There was something to do with college (noted by the people I saw around me). I sat waiting on an assembly of some sort to start.
Then two teen aged boys walked up to me propositioning me. One looked a lot like Paul Bettany (the dude who played the gambling poet in "A Knight's Tale".) He was scrawny and had redish hair and was naked. the other boy was the one that did the talking and was trying to get me to have sex with the red headed boy. They went so far as to show me his penis (which looked a lot like a finger with multiple bony knuckles) and give a detailed account of how each of the "knuckles" would feel.
I was repulsed, but was actually contemplating saying yes. Thankfully, I woke up before I made any decisions.
Aside from the strange penis... I can tell you that heights frighten me and that my college years were the biggest challenge of my life. Those two things make sense to be in last night's dream because of the fear I was feeling about my son, and about the challenge (the hardest of HIS life) that he is facing. The boys and the sex and the freaky penis... I have NO idea.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Closets and Camp
Still not sleeping great. I made a point to not drink so much water so close to bed time, so I was only up 3 times last night, but it took me forever to fall asleep. I'm allowed to have coffee and tea on this diet (which I don't usually have much of), and I had two espressos yesterday and a cup of tea... I think that's what did it.
Today... only in the AM!
On to the dream...
I was at a house from my childhood (from when I was a teenager at VAFB), but the carpets were from my friend Barbara's house. The carpets were mildewed and in bad shape. I was walking around with pants and a bra on thinking about the carpet when I noticed an old man walking up the driveway. I darted into my parent's bathroom and slumped down on the floor so I couldn't be seen. (The driveway came right past their bathroom window.) I could hear the man talking to my mom or somebody. He looked and sounded like Doc Hopper, the villain from "The Muppet Movie".
After that I went to look for a shirt. I looked in my mom's closet, which turned into a film set wardrobe area, with rolling racks of clothes. I found a cute white pique top with a scoop neck, short poof sleeves, and a coral band around the low waist. I put it on and then looked for a bottom. I found a floral skirt that watched nicely. It had a belt that wove in and out of the upper material. The skirt was very full and I had to tuck in the shirt. Once I did, I didn't like it anymore cause it made me look like a balloon. So I took it off. There were two camp counselors (one girl who looked like an old college teacher, Jane Wu, and one boy who reminded me of my son's camp counselor). They were telling me it was time to get going and that I had to hurry. We were going to San Fransisco for the day. I quickly found some jean shorts to shove on, and as I was putting away some other things I found a stash of baklava that had been hidden from us from an earlier meal. (The stash was in an antique side bar that I have in my hallway in my room, in real life.) I grabbed a few hand fulls and made a break for the road. It was a busy street with lots of cars and a very steep hill... like we were already in Frisco. I crossed to the center divide and started walking up hill following other campers, with some still behind me. ...and that was the end.
Well, obviously my dreams are having camp details thrown in because of my son being at camp.
My college illustration teacher, Jane Wu, was probably the most challenging teacher I had, so that speaks to challenge; I'm not sure if for me, or for my son.
Sneaking baklava out of my own sidebar in a place that my furniture did not belong, is very telling of how my diet is going. Yes, I'm still sticking to it and doing well at it, but the temptation to cheat (especially with one of my favorite sweets, baklava) is very strong. My way is to sneak. (If nobody sees, it really doesn't count, right?) WRONG. I HAVE to get that type of thinking OUT!
Why San Fran? I don't know. I saw pictures of my son hiking at camp the other day... perhaps walking the streets of San Fransisco is the closest I will come to hiking. :-)
Doc Hopper was a sneaky villain... why was he coming to my house? I think it had to do with the carpets. I have been spending more time with Barbara lately. We even talked about shampooing her carpets while we were on our walk today. Who's the villain that has to do with Barbara? hmmm.
And here I am again with just a bra! and again with looking through clothes. hmmm.
I should look at the past dreams with these themes again and see if I can draw any conclusions.
Today... only in the AM!
On to the dream...
I was at a house from my childhood (from when I was a teenager at VAFB), but the carpets were from my friend Barbara's house. The carpets were mildewed and in bad shape. I was walking around with pants and a bra on thinking about the carpet when I noticed an old man walking up the driveway. I darted into my parent's bathroom and slumped down on the floor so I couldn't be seen. (The driveway came right past their bathroom window.) I could hear the man talking to my mom or somebody. He looked and sounded like Doc Hopper, the villain from "The Muppet Movie".
After that I went to look for a shirt. I looked in my mom's closet, which turned into a film set wardrobe area, with rolling racks of clothes. I found a cute white pique top with a scoop neck, short poof sleeves, and a coral band around the low waist. I put it on and then looked for a bottom. I found a floral skirt that watched nicely. It had a belt that wove in and out of the upper material. The skirt was very full and I had to tuck in the shirt. Once I did, I didn't like it anymore cause it made me look like a balloon. So I took it off. There were two camp counselors (one girl who looked like an old college teacher, Jane Wu, and one boy who reminded me of my son's camp counselor). They were telling me it was time to get going and that I had to hurry. We were going to San Fransisco for the day. I quickly found some jean shorts to shove on, and as I was putting away some other things I found a stash of baklava that had been hidden from us from an earlier meal. (The stash was in an antique side bar that I have in my hallway in my room, in real life.) I grabbed a few hand fulls and made a break for the road. It was a busy street with lots of cars and a very steep hill... like we were already in Frisco. I crossed to the center divide and started walking up hill following other campers, with some still behind me. ...and that was the end.
Well, obviously my dreams are having camp details thrown in because of my son being at camp.
My college illustration teacher, Jane Wu, was probably the most challenging teacher I had, so that speaks to challenge; I'm not sure if for me, or for my son.
Sneaking baklava out of my own sidebar in a place that my furniture did not belong, is very telling of how my diet is going. Yes, I'm still sticking to it and doing well at it, but the temptation to cheat (especially with one of my favorite sweets, baklava) is very strong. My way is to sneak. (If nobody sees, it really doesn't count, right?) WRONG. I HAVE to get that type of thinking OUT!
Why San Fran? I don't know. I saw pictures of my son hiking at camp the other day... perhaps walking the streets of San Fransisco is the closest I will come to hiking. :-)
Doc Hopper was a sneaky villain... why was he coming to my house? I think it had to do with the carpets. I have been spending more time with Barbara lately. We even talked about shampooing her carpets while we were on our walk today. Who's the villain that has to do with Barbara? hmmm.
And here I am again with just a bra! and again with looking through clothes. hmmm.
I should look at the past dreams with these themes again and see if I can draw any conclusions.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
My Sister's Bungalow
Last night's dream:
I was in a room at a camp type setting with my sister. (Yes, her again... perhaps I should really talk to her next time she visits. ;-)
Anyway the room grew as we stayed there. It started very bungalow-esk and then by the time the dream was over it was like our godparent's (the Love's) house. (Yes, their last name is Love. ...which I'm sure has a significance to the dream's meaning.)
At first we were just settling in. Then there was a hamster that we had to take care of. (I'm pretty sure that imagery came from the Kia Soul Hamster commercial that played at the movie theater yesterday.)
The hamster was a hand full. I was trying to set him up in a Barbie doll house. (Last Wednesday I also saw "Toy Story 3".)
Anyway, as we gathered things and as we got ready for bed the small bungalow room became a two story house (also somewhat bungalowy ala the movie I saw yesterday "Knight and Day", when they were on the secluded island... but with just enough of the Love's house to recognize it.)
There was a movie on the TV; a western. (The TV was always on at the Love's). The stairs were the same as the ones that led up to the Love's game room. (The same stairs I fell down when I was a kid and knocked out my front tooth.)
I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I remember that I was trying to go to bed/fall asleep, and I couldn't, I was uneasy about something. (I did have a hard time sleeping for real last night. On this diet I'm drinking LOTS of water, and I had to get up and pee 5 times!)
Meaning... well, my sister lives in an early 1900's bungalow style house (not the type of tropical bungalow I was dreaming of, but perhaps it was just about the name bungalow that would point me to her.) So here I am at my sister's house... kind-of, but we were both looking around and getting settled. It was also the Love's house... our "god"parents from childhood. This could be a stretch, but perhaps it's about showing her God's love, and getting her settled in His house, which would be Him inside of her... still "her" house. My uneasy feeling comes around often when I think of her "walk" with God.
As for the hamster and the Barbie house, I'm pretty sure that's just media getting in there. I was a big Barbie freak as a child though. My daughter had a hamster once, and at that point in her life we often called her by my sister's name because they were so alike.
Well, no more time to think, I've got to go to church.
I was in a room at a camp type setting with my sister. (Yes, her again... perhaps I should really talk to her next time she visits. ;-)
Anyway the room grew as we stayed there. It started very bungalow-esk and then by the time the dream was over it was like our godparent's (the Love's) house. (Yes, their last name is Love. ...which I'm sure has a significance to the dream's meaning.)
At first we were just settling in. Then there was a hamster that we had to take care of. (I'm pretty sure that imagery came from the Kia Soul Hamster commercial that played at the movie theater yesterday.)
The hamster was a hand full. I was trying to set him up in a Barbie doll house. (Last Wednesday I also saw "Toy Story 3".)
Anyway, as we gathered things and as we got ready for bed the small bungalow room became a two story house (also somewhat bungalowy ala the movie I saw yesterday "Knight and Day", when they were on the secluded island... but with just enough of the Love's house to recognize it.)
There was a movie on the TV; a western. (The TV was always on at the Love's). The stairs were the same as the ones that led up to the Love's game room. (The same stairs I fell down when I was a kid and knocked out my front tooth.)
I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I remember that I was trying to go to bed/fall asleep, and I couldn't, I was uneasy about something. (I did have a hard time sleeping for real last night. On this diet I'm drinking LOTS of water, and I had to get up and pee 5 times!)
Meaning... well, my sister lives in an early 1900's bungalow style house (not the type of tropical bungalow I was dreaming of, but perhaps it was just about the name bungalow that would point me to her.) So here I am at my sister's house... kind-of, but we were both looking around and getting settled. It was also the Love's house... our "god"parents from childhood. This could be a stretch, but perhaps it's about showing her God's love, and getting her settled in His house, which would be Him inside of her... still "her" house. My uneasy feeling comes around often when I think of her "walk" with God.
As for the hamster and the Barbie house, I'm pretty sure that's just media getting in there. I was a big Barbie freak as a child though. My daughter had a hamster once, and at that point in her life we often called her by my sister's name because they were so alike.
Well, no more time to think, I've got to go to church.
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