"Upstream"

Well, it has begun.
I have officially started my first "dream painting".
I actually started three yesterday and trashed the first two.
My husband encouraged me that I can't expect to get this right on the first try. I've never done it before... It may take time. I shouldn't assume that the first one I do will actually go into the show in August.
So I cut myself some slack and started another one thinking that it may end up in the trash too.
The painting I'm working on today is a dream from two days ago.

The dream went like this:
My friend Olivia and I were in an elevator trying to get to the 5th floor. There were digital clock type things sitting on pedestals around the elevator. Each one displayed the #5 in some way. I kept pushing the #5 on all the various screens and buttons, but we never went anywhere. At one point we pushed 7 accidentally (because the numbers on the clocks changed)and went to the 7th floor, but we stayed in and tried to push 5 again. The time was moving so slowly that Olivia started to deal with a lady behind a bank desk about her house mortgage (all inside the elevator). Finally we got out at the lobby which was a huge room like at a train station/mall with white marble floors with black tiles interspersed. Ahead of us down a long grand hall was a man dressed like a guard of some sort with another man in a trench coat standing/floating above his head. I announced to Olivia that the man on the guard's head was an angel. We saw the grand staircase to our left and decided to use it to get to the 5th floor.
As I walked up the stairway I was no longer with Olivia. My dad was with me. The stairway was now outside and it zigzagged like a typical outdoor stairway with gaps between the stairs. To the left of the stairs was a waterfall. At each landing the waterfall had a small pool about 4-5 feet long, just like the landing. There were coy fish swimming up the waterfall like salmon going upstream. At one of the landings I stopped to rub the scales of one of the coy, soothing it, trying to let it rest. Then I let it go again. At the next section of stairs I noticed that a red nose pit bull was swimming upstream. She was trying her hardest to make it out of the waterfall, but just like the coy, she was going up, not down. I knelt by the side of the small pool and pulled her out of the water. Then, pit bull by my side, we made our way up to the 5th floor. In the room, the dog rested. I was thinking about the pit bull's energy level and how she must be so used to swimming all day that she may be too high energy for someone like me. She was all muscle. There was no fat on her body, and you could see her ribs. At least for now, she was tired and would be resting for a long time. The scene changed and I was now bringing my new dog secretly down the back stairs (metal, like a fire escape, but not like a ladder) to go to the bathroom out back by the dumpsters. I found an old chain and a bike lock and made a leash out of it. I also found a small contraption that looked like a shower head from an old motel. At the bottom of the stairs on our way back up an old janitor stopped us and asked about the dog and the chain. He claimed that the chain was his and of course that I was not supposed to have that dog. He asked for the shower head contraption. It was supposed to tell the history of what it belonged to... in this case, the dog. I was scared that it would show that the dog belonged in the fountain, doomed to struggle all of her life. But instead, as he opened the top, by turning it half a turn to the right, it just let out a shot of air, no history. I was free to go and take the dog with me... though I did give back the old chain and bicycle lock to the janitor.

As I was painting just now, I was overwhelmed by the emotion that I had seeing this poor pit bull swimming upstream. God gently whispered that He too cared about the mistreatment of the pitties around the US. Pit bulls and their mistreatment is a subject near and dear to my heart, because my baby, my precious 4 year old dog, is a pit bull. He is brindled and beautiful. It breaks my heart that pit bulls around the country are being killed because of breed legislation. Others are being fought, others are just misunderstood and feared. The dream was obviously about the struggle that pit bulls face, but what about the rest of the dream?
Well... the coy also swimming upstream speak to me of my other friend Barbara. She has coy fish that will let you pet them (well, they let her pet them). She is dealing with an "upstream" battle now, and though I'm no real help, I can provide a small rest.
The part with Olivia in the elevator is dealing with her wanting to get to a place of redemption. 5 is the number of grace, redemption, provision, and the like. We tried and tried to get there in the elevator. She even took time to go to the bank while waiting. But in the end we had to climb stairs. The easy way was put on pedestals... but it didn't work for us. As we charted our course in the grand hall we saw a guard with an angel. I had to point this out, it wasn't obvious to Olivia... but it was comforting, and it was inspiring. It sent us on our way. Now why she wasn't with me on the stairs I think is just a break in the story of the dream. I didn't need to dream about Olivia anymore because MY part with her was done... Now I was on my own stair climbing journey. My dad being with me, was just a picture of God with me, helping me to help my friend, and the pit bulls.
The old chain and the back stairs to the dumpster were symbolic of me just using trash to care for the pitties. I don't "DO" anything. I just post about them on facebook, and say nice things about them to people. There is no real sacrifice on my part. The fact that no history showed up from the "shower head contraption" speaks of a clean slate. God's perfect plan for these dogs is to not have a stereotype attached, no prejudices. I'm left with the question, now what? What do I do with that?
Well... at 12:00 I'm heading over to play a game with Barbara and her daughters.
My husband just yesterday asked which charities I would like to give to. I have never given anything substantial to a non-Christian charity, but I think this year I will be helping the pitties in a bigger way.
As for Olivia, I'm not sure I need to do anything. I'll have to talk to her and see how it's going. ;-)

Swimming with Little Audrey

Last night's dream came out of left field.
In a couple of weeks we are going to Hawaii. My parents are going to meet my family there, and they are bringing with them their "god-daughter", Audrey Gore. My mom and Audrey's mom were best friends. Audrey's mom died a few years ago and her dad remarried without complete approval of the kids. Things have been awkward ever since.
Anyway, Audrey is now graduating from college, and for her present my parents offered to bring her to Hawaii with us. So I will be seeing her soon. (Last time I saw her was at Thanksgiving, which was the first time in years.) However, I have not been actively thinking of Audrey at all, and that is why the dream caught me off guard.
I have never dreamt specifically about Audrey. I have dreamt about her "family", especially back when her mother was alive. I've dreamt of their house often in the past too, but never Audrey specifically. I know this dream was to prepare me for Hawaii in some way, now I just have to figure it out. I thought the back-story would best be told before we got into the dream, so there you have it.

In the dream I was in a very large and deep pool holding baby (1 1/2- 2 yrs old) Audrey near the edge. She had her arms around my neck and I was holding the edge with one hand and cradling her with the other. My parents were swimming with us. The pool was fairly crowded, but not overly so. It was Olympic sized, and didn't have a shallow end. Concrete was all around. Because of the depth and the crowd I talked to my parents about taking Audrey someplace else. I got out and we walked outside to a place I had been before. It was a hot tub that's been in my dreams before... not too long ago. I got in with Audrey. There were college age(the age that Audrey is in real life) boys in the hot tub. While we were in the hot tub (which had two levels; we were in the lower one), I noticed the scenery. It was very different from what had been around the hot tub in my previous dream. It was like a swamp/lake. I've dreamt of that place before too. (In the previous dream I think there were alligators and I was swimming for my life.) Anyway, as I looked back the hot tub even had moss and algae growing on the edges. It all looked very old and run down. At this point I thought that the area was an old camp ground I had visited in my youth and that things had just gotten over grown. I picked up Audrey and we made our way up and out of the hot tub. (As we did, I worried about the boys noticing that I hadn't shaved. haha.) One mentioned to another that I was old when I was going up the steps. I turned and said, "I'm only 35!"
I looked down at the swamp/lake below (the hot tub was up on a cliff... but only like 20 feet high). There was an old mock pirate ship that I remembered from my "camp days". It was all covered with algae and moss and yuck, but there were still boys playing on it, so we went down to it. (I don't know how... that part kind of skipped.) We walked around on the ship briefly then decided to go back up. The side of the cliff had tree roots gnarling in and out of it and some trunks that started at the base were half buried in the side too. Audrey held on around my neck as I pulled myself up the side of the cliff on a rope/vine that was used for this purpose. Half way up, I noted that I had not taken the easy way, and that only 10 feet to my right there was a much better way. We would go down and try that way instead. Then I woke up.

When Audrey was little we all lived in Italy. Every now and again we would go to indoor water parks (usually in Austria). I can remember at least once going to one with Audrey and her family. It was the one time I attempted a flip off a high dive. I knocked the wind out of myself and couldn't breath even when I reached the surface of the water. It was so scary. The indoor section of the dream reminded me of that pool though... no shallow end, big, somewhat crowded with strangers, and scary.
Swimming in dreams is typically a refreshing or cleansing thing. However, noting the swampiness of our setting outside, I'm not sure this "cleansing" went as planned.
The fact that Audrey was represented as a baby just breaks my heart. She is the youngest of her siblings, and has no doubt had the hardest time of any of them with her mother's death and father's remarriage. She is worried about what the rest of her life is going to look like with college over and not feeling welcome to stay at her old house. It's a very deep pool indeed to be in.
The outdoor part of the dream seems like a lot of "trying" on my part, without any real success. A hot tub full of boys her age could be an attempt to lose her sorrow by being preoccupied with boys, but being a baby shows maybe she's not quite ready for that. (Maybe)
Then I take her down to a childhood play structure (the pirate ship) but it's all gross too. There's corrosion on both the hot tub and the pirate ship. So keeping her in a "child" state is not the answer either.
Then there's the mystery of going up out of that situation the hard way... realizing there is an easier way, but waking up before I took the easy way... all the while, Audrey still as a baby around my neck.

Well... I pray that our time in Hawaii would be healing, growing, and refreshing. I hope is some way, I'm able to help, and not make things worse. Dreams are typically warnings when they show bad things, so I consider myself warned to not make "cleansing plans" for Audrey. I'll just follow God's lead, not my own ideas.

Am I Prepared?

I really haven't dreamed much of interest lately... thus no new entries, but I thought I'd share last night's as it seemed very vivid and long.

It started in a room at church, not my church particularly, but a church; I could tell because of the people who were there, and because of the size and emptiness of the room. We were clearly in what we called the "fellowship hall" when I was growing up. (It's the multi-purpose room of a church where most food related events take place.) In my dream I was there with a hand full of kids from the elementary class that I help out with once a month. There may have been a couple adults, but I don't remember any. My dogs were with me, as was the greyhound from an internet rescue story I read yesterday. I was coaxing my dog Knuckles to be nice to the greyhound. When I realized that the interaction wasn't going to improve, I walked outside. The dogs were gone and all the kids were ahead of me in a large field that I've seen before in dreams that has a large pool in it. The kids were getting into the pool along with other classroom helpers. I wanted to swim as well but didn't have a suit. For some reason I thought it would be better to swim naked than in my clothes, so I stripped down and got in the pool. There was a hot tub in one section of the pool and most of the kids and helpers were in it. I tried to stay close to the wall of the hot tub hiding my nakedness. One little boy came up and touched my boob, and I had to swim away from the wall shooing him away. At that point I saw my sister on shore and asked her to bring me a bathing suit. A few minutes later she brought me back a tiny string bikini (that I owned about 9 years ago to lay out in). I fumbled with the suit under water all the while noticing parents of the children, who were now there to pick up their kids, watching me in disgust. I finally got the suit on just as someone was saying that if anyone needed a ride home now was the time to call your parents. I got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around me. I called my mom and said I could walk home, but would she bring me the dogs so I could give them a walk too, so I didn't have to do two walks that day. I knew the area and it was about 2 miles from my house.
About the time I made it to the street to start the walk home the scenery changed and I was no longer myself. I was Antonio Banderas with shoulder length hair and a long trench coat on, walking with my girlfriend into a huge mansion. The mansion was very dark and full of fancy wood paneling and large decor. I was explaining to her that I had agreed to do the painting for her father. (Her father didn't really like me, but doing the painting was a bribe of sorts to smooth things over between us, since I wanted to marry his daughter.) My eye went directly to a large painting on the wall behind me to my left of a "Niagara Falls" type close-up painting, that was lava instead of water. I kept looking to the left as we walked down an open hallway, into each alcove along the way. Each section had more paintings, each in a series that had to do with the lava one. They were all dark, made of browns, reds, and blacks, and each had an element of a puzzle in them. At first, the puzzle pieces were not the main focus, but the further down the hall we got the puzzle grew and became the main subject of the painting. My painting was going to be a part of this series and I wasn't sure exactly how. My girlfriend's father's footsteps could be heard in the distance in front of us and to our right, we quickly ducked into one of the alcoves on our left and waited for a stairway to appear. The stairs had been a part of the wall beneath the chair rail molding, but as we watched they stretched out from the wall to form an actual staircase. I started to step on them while they were still "doll size", but quickly realized that they were going to grow more. I stepped off a little embarrassed, and waited for a few seconds longer as even the top half of the wall protruded out and the stairs had plenty of room to go up and behind the section of wall. Right as we got on the stairs my alarm went off and I had to wake up; which was very disappointing.

So... what does it mean?
Well, I can tell you where the elements came from...
The greyhound, as I mentioned was from a story I read yesterday. (Very touching about a rescued greyhound, who in turn helped with nurturing other rescued animals.)
The church kids were there most likely from me thinking this past Sunday that I had to help out, when really my Sunday is two Sundays away.
The smallness of the bikini is coming from me trying to get to the same size I was 9 years ago before we go to Hawaii in a few months.
Antonio Banderas is on my mind from a conversation I had with my friend Saturday morning while her daughter was watching Shrek the Third, about Puss-in-Boots having his own movie, and me questioning if that could be any good.
Niagra Falls imagery comes from my husband's trip to Toronto this coming weekend. And I imagine that the puzzle pieces in all the dark paintings are about me pieces together the dark events on the prophetic calendar.

Being naked and ashamed is a common theme in dreams usually about not being prepared, or possibly exposing vulnerable parts of yourself.
My pool dreams typically are about cleansing or refreshing. It's interesting that I was ashamed at the same time as being cleansed... but I guess that is how it goes sometimes. It makes me think of the prayer I received this past Sunday.
I knew God wanted me to go up and get prayer for my 12 year anniversary of marriage. So I went to a couple that I admire and asked them to pray over me. I had to tell them a little of our "ugliness" so that they knew where I was coming from. Even in my vague explanation their prayer was so targeted it was as if I had divulged everything. That took place in our multi-purpose room BTW.
I have known for a while now that I have a part to play in teaching about prophetic events in today's world. Be it through paintings, or fashion, or words. I feel prepared, but not talented enough... which is generally how I view Antonio Banderas. I think that the grandness of the mansion that the paintings were in speaks of how great and overwhelming of a task I consider this undertaking.
The stairway was hopefully a good thing... but I guess I may never know that. (It did lead up. :-) )

A Retreat, a Reunion, and an Animal Cruelty Documentary

The first dream of the night was about a women's retreat. I was there with tons of other church women I know. (I most likely dreamed of this because I was explaining to my sister last night how I met Kookye... which was at retreat.) In the dream we were staying up late (as usual) but in a totally new place. The cabins were like another camp dream I've had before that reminded me of a cruise.
There was a long line of sinks in the bathroom and bunk beds lining the walls of our rooms. I was the person in the group who was determined to stay up til morning. We had been running around goofing off outside and I had to go inside to pee. I found out I was on my period (which actually happened this morning), then I came out of the bathroom to a room of sleepy ladies about to go to bed. The clock said 3:00, and I said, "come on, let's go swimming!"
I went outside to some familiar pools (ones I dreamed of a while back in a dream about my ex-father-in-law and weight loss.) There was a normal pool and a hot tub, both very large. I jumped in the hot tub and thought it might make everyone sleepier, so I got in the cold one. I looked around and saw that no one joined me.

The dream switched and it was day time and I was in the pool at a reunion. (Another dream I've had before with Paul, if you remember. But the pool was still the same large square one from the dream about weight-loss.) This time the pool was again, mostly boys, and one came over to be my protector. He looked similar to some boys I've known in the past but not like one particular person. He was skinny and tall, and white with a pointy nose. He had on a leather jacket and jeans. I swam around with him for a while kind of backed up into his arms. Some other boy was trying to take me from him, but he was defending me. Then I got out. I rationalized with myself that I really didn't know him and he was never my boyfriend. Once I was out of the pool I walked around a stadium type place (again very much like the dream I had a while back that Guy and Mr. Leander were in). I saw lots of people and then out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane (another old boyfriend... my favorite from my youth). He had just arrived from being overseas (which makes sense because he's in the Air Force, and goes overseas fairly often). He still looked just like he did in 1989 with his long hair and glasses. He was wearing a black leather jacket that glistened like it was wet. He disappeared from my view, and I spent a few minutes trying to find him. Finally, I did, and walked over trying to get him to talk to me. I even put my hands around his neck, but he was determined to ignore me. Again, I was left disappointed.


My third dream started like I was watching a documentary, but shortly into the film, it was like I was there and being shown through the farm/factory.
The documentary was about the mistreatment of children and animals in Laos. (This idea popped up out of nowhere... it has no relevance with anything going on it my life... which is one reason it's so disturbing.) There was one small boy that the film followed through the entire process, but very quickly into the film. The mistreatment of the children and the animals went hand in hand, because he was the one forced to treat the animals the way they were treated. It started with him in a pin full of hay and mud like he had just finished taking the animals out, then the scene switched to a line of beheaded, de-footed, and skinned pig looking animals. They were still 'walking' in the line to get slaughtered though. The boy explained how he had to chop of their feet while they were still fluffy, and the imagery went to him bounding rabbits by their feet and chopping off their heads, then their feet, while still tied. The skinning was done by someone else. Even though everything had looked like pigs before, I got the understanding that this was a rabbit farm. The boy cried when he talked about how cute they were before he had to kill them with the machete.
I woke up quite disturbed.

So other than being disappointed after each dream, I don't see much of a relation between them.
Like I said, the Laos dream came out of no where, so I'll be thinking this morning about any possible meaning...

Reunion at a Water Park

I was texting my old friend Paul last night shortly before bed time... telling him that facebook doesn't give me "enough" of him. It's all so surface driven (which is good for the internet,) but I wanted to know more about where he was at in life.

When I was a teenager I often went out with guys just because they liked me. Paul was one of those guys that I never knew a thing about until we dated. It's a terrible method of dating and I preach against it to my daughter all the time, but that's what I did back then. If I found out they were "bad", or even if I knew they were beforehand, I hoped I would make them better. People call that missionary dating; I was queen of that method. Nothing ever happened to the boys I dated to make them better while I was in their life, but I have had multiple old boy friends tell me all these years later that I impacted them greatly. Few with stories of God, but most with stories of self-worth. I'm happy about that.

Well... last night I dreamed that I met Paul again at a reunion. The reunion was in a pool at a water park. All kinds of people from Aviano AFB HS were there, all swimming.
It was a deep pool with rocks on the sides and rivers trailing from it in a couple directions. The official reunion was only at that pool, though there were slides and other attractions all around. I was not aware of the other surroundings at the start of the dream... only the big pool with all my classmates.
I saw Paul and swam over to him. I floated my body up to the surface while we said our hellos and I took off something. Not sure if I had been fully dressed and was now in a swimsuit, or if I took off part of my swimsuit. I embraced Paul and then closed my eyes. He held me in a head lock and we talked. Only my head was above water now, with Paul's arm acting like a life preserver keeping me afloat. There was some "inappropriate" touching, and I asked if he should be doing that with all these people around. He laughed and said, "we're not there anymore", "I wouldn't do that in front of anyone." I opened my eyes and pulled away to find that we were now further down one of the lazy rivers that flowed from the pool. We continued down the river and on to multiple water slides, laughing and having a great time. After the third or fourth slide we went to get back into the lazy river but the entry stairs were over crowded with small children. Paul asked my what my intentions were. I explained to him that I had no desire to cheat on my husband and that I was very happy in my marriage. He was happy with that news. We stared at the obstacle of kids in front of us on the stairs and decided to try to jump over them. Right as I jumped the scene changed and I was no longer in the river or with Paul. I was now with my friends Shawn Kuver and the Rhodes sisters (Erin and Michelle), also from HS in Aviano. We were walking through a cruise ship type of hallway with red velvety carpets. There were trays of food and things nearby like we were at the back end of a restaurant. There was a piano sitting in the hallway and Shawn sat down to play, (well, goof off on it at least). One of my old youth group leaders, Jill, walked up to us and gave me a disapproving look. I took her queue and walked away.
Then I woke up.

Interesting dream, yes?
Water and pools etc. for me usually are about refreshing, cleansing, relaxing things. There was never a "bad" moment in the dream... even the inappropriate touch didn't feel "wrong". I think that with most dreams of sexual stuff the symbolism is more about intimacy than actual sex. (Of course, I could have been inputting my evening with my husband into part of my dream.) Anyway, I think that the dream speaks of having a private "deeper level" conversation with Paul (away from facebook... which is basically a reunion in itself), enjoying that, and both of us viewing our kids as obstacles that block that relaxing experience, the carefree life of when we knew each other.
As for the cruise ship part of the dream... I think it speaks of mischief. Shawn was most definitely one of my most troublesome friends. Especially given that Jill (a conscience symbol) snapped me out of it... I think that it was just a warning, still related to Paul... to not cause mischief.

White Water, and A Year Book Photo Shoot

So last night before 3:00 I had a strange dream of going from rock to rock in a white body of water. The rocks were all white and the water was milky. It was all white, and I was in the water, but didn't want to swim in it, instead I was trying to stay with at least one limb on a rock, like it was dangerous.
My dog Knuckles came in at 3:00 and woke me up.

After a brief potty break I went back to sleep and dreamed of high school. I was with my sister and two old boyfriends. My sister was with Donnie, and I was with Jay. We were all posing in various places for pictures for the year book. Mr. Leander (my old English teacher, and teacher in charge of Year book) was taking the pictures.
We were at a stadium of sorts, sometimes on the grass and sometimes on the bleachers. I walked behind Jay and felt his bare back. "You're back is great, and you have soft skin just like Michael." I said. (Speaking of my husband.) Jay's head was shaved (like now, not like in HS).
Half way through the picture taking, while we were at the top of the amphitheater in the middle of a picture of my sister and I, I got a zit on my upper lip on the left side. It hurt and was huge. I tried to pose in a way that it didn't show, but the first chance I got I ran down to the rest room. True to form, the line was out the door. I thought about it for a minute and rationalized that since I didn't need to pee I could skip the line and just go straight for the mirrors. I did. There were vanity stations in the middle of a large sterile room. The stations were made of stainless steel and the mirrors were behind cabinet doors on the stations. There was even a small round close up mirror at the station I chose. I popped the zit and it immediately subsided and I was able to go back with out worrying about it at all.
Then my alarm rang.

Pieces of the dream like the close up mirror and even the zit are things from yesterday. The zit being reminiscent of a picture I saw of my nephew with a swollen lip from an allergic reaction to Motrin. The mirror being from my son's bathroom, that I was telling him to use to brush his teeth so that he would do a better job.
Even the photo shoot was reminiscent of a shoot I recently did with one of my swell sister ladies for our portrait club. (My sister in the dream, could have been symbolically a "sister".)
Anyway... I have no idea about Donnie and Jay and Mr. Leander, or the settings.
Or the white water and rocks dream for that matter.
The white water dream actually intrigues me quite a bit more. I'll have to think about that one.

A Refreshing Pool of Skinniness

I'll just jump right in.

Last night's dream started with my friend Alyson crafting on the floor between two pews at a church. I was there with her, watching, then my ex's dad, Steve, came and we walked outside with Cheryl's dog "Bear", through a very green lawn. The lawn had sprinklers going, that we dodged as we made our way to a big pool. There were two in-ground hot tubs right beside the pool. The pool was long and rectangular and had a basketball court that butted up against the back of it. I wanted to go in the hot tub but I knew it would feel better after the main pool, so I went ahead and dove into the pool which had other people in it too. It was very refreshing. Then a little girl who was walking along the edge by the basketball court took off one of her shoes and it dropped into the water. She was going to lean in to get it, but it was sinking fast, so I dove down to get it. The pool was VERY deep; luckily the shoe had only gone half way down. It was a tiny blue "Ked" type sneaker.
When I got up from my dive, my other ex boyfriend, Brent, walked into the scene carrying a bunch of taquitos wrapped in foil with names written on the sides in black sharpie (like they do at Chipotle). I saw "Moo" written on one of them: (My nick name). I said, "Is that for me?" he told me I could have it after he delivered the rest, but I insisted that he give it to me then. I got out to take it. It was a simple deep fried tortilla that had been wrapped around guacamole and some shredded pork. I don't remember eating it, but I walked back inside after that into a room that was set up for a party. I guess the party was over because my friend Dori and her mother were cleaning up all the streamers and such. I started to help them tear things off the ceiling... which amazingly enough, I could reach.
And that was the end.

Meaning...
I hope that seeing Alyson in church means she's going back. The crafting there on the floor would indicate that she was "being herself" at church. That's good too!
Steve coming to take me to a refreshing pool speaks about the diet I was just on. He is the one who gave me the homeopathic hCG drops that helped me loose 20 pounds and feel great about myself for the first time in a long time.
Walking Bear is just a tie in from last night when I went on a walk with Bear.
Brent coming with a taquito for me... Well I had Chipotle last night, so that makes sense... but why Brent? Maybe because when I started my hCG diet his facebook response was "Just eat right and exercise more". (Which is what I'm doing to loose the next 20.) ??? Anyway, the only parts that baffle me are about the shoe and about Dori's party. I'll have to go check when Dori's birthday is... maybe I missed it.

Island Vacation, Bath Cave, and Highrise Homework

In mt first dream I was swimming in an enormous man-made lake. We were on vacation of some sort and had just arrived to our island home. The scene around the side of the lake that we were on was very 'other worldly'. It looked like a movie set. The houses were built way too close to the water, jutting out of the (not very high) cliffs. There was brown showing around the homes, and vines hanging sporadically. There were wooden deck walkways from some houses and others you had to use the vines to get to.

We had been dropped off somewhere in the lake and were swimming to shore with a group of people. The only person outside of my family that I recognized was our friend Greta. (That makes sense because we have been on vacation with her twice, and really don't see her otherwise.) A large man led us up the bank and then we made our way around the cliffs to our 'home'.  That's all the dream had in it.

The second one was also about water, and lots of it. It was a roman bath house type place, but huge, and more like a cave. I was with a few of my Swell Sister ladies and we were 'bathing'. There were a few tiers to the place, and above one was a large water fall that glowed with a golden hue. The whole dream was just swimming around and climbing and being in the water fall etc. No talking. I had to wake up from the dream to pee in the middle of the night.

The third one was in a city setting. I was with my dad and we were visiting my friend Dori. It was a school day and I had to get to school soon. We were up really high in a sky-rise in her apartment in down town LA. (Even though she doesn't live there, or in an apartment, but the school we went to together was.) She was showing us her new doggies. (She does have a new doggy since I saw her last, but these dogs were not the right breed.) The dogs in the dream were "purse dogs", one black and brown and white with furry pointy ears like a papillon, and  the other was like a white miniature poodle.  I was holding one and we were looking out the window talking about taking it down to pee. But I realized I was late for school and I started urging my dad to hurry and take me. I grabbed my back pack, but I didn't have my books. I scrambled to find the books, got them into the bag and then realized I hadn't done my homework. I had English and some sort of Science. Then I reasoned with myself that I wasn't going for a grade, I was a grown up, and it really didn't matter that I hadn't done my homework. Reasoning with myself led me to remember I'm not really in school, and then I woke up.

Once again, I am at a loss for any meaning... but they were interesting dreams none-the-less.

"Women"

I had two dreams that I remember last night.

The first, I was at my Pastor's house in the middle of a women's gathering. It didn't really look like their house. It reminded me more of a house that I have dreamed of before that was the Coward's house. But I won't read anything into that. Karen, my pastor's wife, had been watching my son and I was coming to pick him up.They had been talking about going to buy a game for him at Game Stop. I said she didn't have to. She said right now was the only free time she had. "Oh, well if this is the only time I have with you. I'll take as much as I can," I said. There was a sense of her time being very crammed and precious, and I wanted to glean what I could from her. So sat beside her. My son was no longer in the picture, but I started looking around the room at the other women.  They were just there; it wasn't like they were all there to see Karen. They were there with each other. I noticed my friend Rebecca playing cards at a coffee table beside us with another friend. The I looked all around and was shocked to see people from my high school in Italy. Not close friends of mine, just random women.

"There are (counting) ten people here I know from high school!" I exclaimed overjoyed. I smiled at Karen in my moment of surprise.

In my next dream I was in an Olympic sized lap pool. I had on a blue Speedo one-piece and was about to race a bunch of kids and teens. My daughter's boyfriend's mom was in the pool with me and talking to me. I said I needed goggles and a hair cap. She said that I'd be a good racer after I loose my weight. I looked at the line up and could see myself in it. I could see myself swimming very fast. I would be able to beat most of the kids.

...and that was the end of that.

Obviously, my weight is still weighing heavy on me (no pun intended). I guess going to bed right after talking to my daughter about her boyfriend made me think of his mom.

I'm not so sure about the Pastor Karen dream. Again, I'd like to think that people being in her house means that they are/will be "saved" (for lack of a better word). Who knows.  And what did my son and a game have to do with anything?

"Chasms"

I forgot to post yesterday.

The dream was about my husband and I on a cruise ship.

There was a swimming "pool" in the middle of the ship that was actually a rectangular cut-out in the boat that opened up to the ocean water. I was walking around the "pool" in a robe/blanket and fell in. I was very close to the ladder, so it didn't take long to get out, but I was scared of the depth of the water and possible sharks.

When I got out I went straight to my room which was at the top right corner of the pool around a corner and up a few steps.

I stripped and followed my husband into the bathroom. We were both naked and I was embarrassed of my size. (My husband has recently lost 40+ pounds, and I have stayed put... so now we are within 5 pounds of each other.)

This past night's dream should have been memorable. However, a minute after I woke up I only remembered one part...  and here it is...

I was over a huge chasm in space.  I was standing on the edge of an asteroid and had to get across to another one that was like a block away. There were two smaller rocks floating below. They were gray and looked like lava rock. I jumped from one ledge and touched one of the lower rocks. It was just big enough for one foot, but the minute you touched it, you bounced/floated up and over to the next rock. (It was very video game-esk). I should have been jumping much higher, but with each jump the rocks kept going lower and lower. I went from 10 feet below the two asteroid ledges to 20ft, and it was becoming more and more obvious that I was not going to make it across.

That's all I can remember though I know the whole dream was pretty trippy.

It's a bit interesting that both dreams have a chasm of sorts. One of the ocean and one of space. I was fearful of both and trying to get out of both. One I fell in by accident, and One I jumped in because I thought I saw a clear way across.  One I got out of safely, the other I never got out of.

What's in the Pool?

My daughter's boyfriend is visiting, so I had to spend most of the morning playing cards with them. They are now on their way to San Fransisco for the Supercross race with my husband.

I'm using the above as an excuse for not posting yesterday, and for forgetting much of last night's dream. ;-)

Literally all I remember was that Nick (her bo) had a twin in the dream and while the real nick and my daughter were sitting chatting, the twin and I were walking around a pool. It was winter time, so the pool was freezing cold. Something dropped in and the twin was going to retrieve it. I told him not to because it was cold.  I told him to wait for tomorrow when it was day time and warmer.

What I'm hoping that means is that today is going to be better than yesterday. :-) Last night was a bit awkward because technically they broke up months ago and are not officially back together. So though they both like each other, there is an unspoken 'hold' on things. My daughter wasn't completely open with my husband and I about where 'they are at' right now, so awkwardness abounds. 

I hope they are able to figure it out on the San Fransisco trip. I pray that my husband is nice and understanding, but also that there is complete honesty between all three of them.

Why do teenagers make everything so complicated?

Be real for crying out loud!

Escape

The dreams starts at a representation of my parent's home. I'm in the bathroom, just took a shower. When I get out, I realize that we won't have enough time to take Nick (my daughter's boyfriend) swimming. I talk with my parents and my daughter about it.  They suggest going to see a movie. 

When we get to the theater I never notice my daughter or Nick again. I get very wrapped up in the movie; like I'm in it.

The movie is very violent. I am with a hand full of inmates in jail, but we are the good guys. It seems that we have no weapons, and all the inmates around me are talking about escape.  The guards come to the bars of our cell. We have something posted on the wall that they want to take down. One lady inmate with me encourages them to reach in and get it. The guard tells us all to stand back. As he reaches his hand in the inmate lady throws her hand from across the cell at his hand. Her hand has wolverine claws poking out of it and it's on a string. The claws puncture the guards hand, and the inmate pulls the string back.  Again and again this happens. I am suddenly aware that I'm watching the movie, not in it, and I notice the crowd around me, and am self-conscious that I have brought my ten year old son to this rated R movie. The name "Bakugan" and there are three stages right in the midst of the seating. Characters are being pushed off into the stage, from the seats, and they are dying in this smokey liquid.
comes to mind. I think we're at a Bakugan movie, which explains to me why my son is there.  As I tell myself that, I look around and there are other areas with a more cartoon like scene. The movie theater has morphed into an outdoor amphitheater

We start to exit the theater by walking forward down the seats.  An usher tells us to go to the side, so we don't fall in. We walk by two stages, then down.

We get into a small Italian Fiat and drive on very crowded cobblestone streets. A cop on a motorcycle tries to pull me over but there is no side to pull over to. I go through three streets looking for a place then finally stop at a market.  It is now just my son and I with the cop and a dog.

The cop stops to get some dried mushroom looking things and other herbs. As he is taking a while I tell my son that we're going to try to make a break for it. We tell the dog to stay behind.  It takes twice for the dog to listen to us. The cop is looking around for us.  We start to crawl through the crowd. We crawl under a trampoline, and another, on the side of what looks like a market square with all sorts of goods.

We are headed to school to pick up my daughter. 

When we get to the school we are still crawling.  (It is a similar school  to another dream I have had, with sterile long hallways and few doors.) The hallways are like rolling hills. We still sense that the cop is on our tail.  Finally I say, " We don't have to crawl; lets try boucing."

So we bounce. We bounce on the floor like we're bouncing on a trampoline, still moving forward down the hall.  We get to the library and start looking for my daughter. She is in a crowd of people, some of which are my old classmates.

Then I woke up.

Wow. It was all one dream, with a fairly central theme, but so many different settings. Very strange. Yesterday was an interesting day. I watched a cute little movie called "The Maiden Heist". I found out my son hadn't even really started on a huge project that is due soon, so we had to run to the library... to find nothing on the shelves... then to the book store... nothing. Then home... ordered a book on line with rush delivery since we are leaving on a 2 week trip Monday. Shortly after that we left for church and stayed gone til bed time.

Some of that may explain why the library at the end, and why the school in general... but what about the rest?

I'd like to think that going from crawling to bouncing in the hallways with my son is saying that together we can get past his lagging in school work.  This is the first year that math has gotten hard for him, and he often cries while we do homework.  Then finding out he hasn't even started his report. UGGG. I really hope we can go from "crawling" to "bouncing". 

And perhaps crawling under trampolines was symbolic of also taking the hard, not fun, road when there is obviously something fun right on top of you. We were crawling out of fear of the cop. Who is the cop? His teacher? (He does fear her.  You would too as a fourth grader.)

Going back though, to the beginning of the dream, I don't know if I understand the stadium stuff or the movie. (We are going to an ancient Roman Colosseum in Jordan on our trip next week.) (And a few days back my daughter showed me a you-tube video of two guys getting wolverine claws... gruesome, but funny.) I guess that's a little of an explanation, but I'd still like to know if they had any meaning, or just my brain flushing itself.

Because my son was present and active the whole dream, I am sure it was about him and me together. But honestly, except for the bouncing, it wasn't a "feel good" dream. It was tense. 

hmmm...

Entertainment

I imagine this will be normal posting time. I just got home from taking the kids to school. I highly doubt I'll be up early enough to write and get them ready very often.
 I had three dreams again last night (that I remember).
The first was simply me going to spend the night at my high school BF's house. Her dad who is now passed away (lung cancer) was outside sweeping the walk way. I walked on the flower bed to avoid him, but then tracked dirt on the area closest to the door. He gave me a disappointed look, and that was the end of that dream.
Before I tell you my next dream, it's important to know that I went to see the movie "The Book of Eli" yesterday.  It's important because very often the entertainment you put into your head will show up in your dreams. That's one reason I never watch horror movies. If you want your dreams to be truly untainted, you'd have to go without movies, TV, video games, etc. The good news is, even with tainted dreams there are still messages to be discovered.
So, knowing that I went to see "Eli" I'm OK with what happens in this dream.
I'm walking down a street in a bad part of town with my son. I look into a shop that belongs to my friends Gregory and Kookye. (The shop reminds me of the shop in the movie.) (They really did own a consignment store at one point, so that makes sense. Plus Kookye was the last person I got an email from yesterday, so she was on my mind.)  I went on ahead down the street, but my son wanted to stay and play with their daughter (really they have a son). He stayed and I walked on.  Later, I walked back to their shop and it was in much better condition and everything was neatly put away. In a back room my friend Megan (also Kookye's friend) was wrapping presents with other ladies. Her husband Curt came up to me and started showing me his "LUSH" products. I explained to him that I had some LUSH stuff at home. I use their Godiva shampoo. So he offered me a few bath bombs for free. Then one of the ladies wrapping took me to another back room with a Christmas tree in it and toys under the tree. She offered me a plush Tigger for my son. I thought it would be bad to break up the set (they had Pooh and Eeyore and all the rest), but she insisted and I took him.
Then I asked where the restroom was (a very common theme for me obviously). The potty was in a long hallway; girls on one end, boys on the other, but completely open. As I sat there a small Asian man came up to me from down the hall. I got very mad at him for invading my privacy, so I got up and started a knife fight. Many more men and boys joined the fight and by now I was on their end of the hall. The boys were all chubby. I asked, "Do you wanna know what fat looks like?" then I cut (with my small pocket knife) each one of them in their bare bellies (little 3-5" cuts, but deep enough to see the layer of fat).
Like I said, I'm OK with this, cause I know the slashing of bodies came from the movie yesterday. But I find it interesting that they were chubby and that my one memorable line had to do with fat.
Both my son and I are about 30 pounds overweight and can't seem to motivate ourselves to loose the weight.

My third dream was a camping trip with old high school friends and my parents. (My dad pastored the youth during my childhood, so that's not a strange scenario.) People I remember in the dream were Amy, Jodie, Christie, and my BF Vanessa. Near the beginning of the dream the girls were are crowded around a dimly lit mirror getting ready. We were leaving that day. The camp was beach side, and some how we went, with our suitcases and sleeping bags, out onto floating  (10' in diameter) burlap sand bags. My mom tipped them over looking for a flatter side for us to walk on, but they all sank. So we were swimming with suitcases and sleeping bags trying to pull up the floaties. Finally we swam to next section of floating structures which is a giant round white with a red bulls-eye inflatable. There are people sitting on edge and walking on top, we bounce onto the inflatable. I start to wonder if people will fall, so we stop bouncing and walk across. We get in the car (my Durango) and head off.  On the road the water comes right up to the asphalt.  My mom is driving and she keeps veering into the water. I point it out to her, as well as pointing out the harbor in the distance, and a paradise looking place where two girls are swimming with swans and weeping willows are planted in the water. I want to go there, but we have to get everyone home. We start to discuss who to take home first according to the order of their houses. Vanessa lives closest to me, Amy lives furthest, etc.

I'm not going to take any time time today looking deeper cause I have to go paint at my friend Kim's house. Maybe you can try and decode something for me. :-)

My ex who lived in Tex(as)

I'm almost embarrassed that this happened already. Two things really. Number one that I dreamed of my ex, and two, that I was over confident that I would remember it all.  I woke up in the middle on the night with the dream very fresh, and talked myself out of writing it down, cause I was sure I'd remember it.  But, as luck would have it, I woke up with only a few details of that dream and nothing from any that might have followed.

All I can remember is that we were swimming in a lake. (I think we even had life vests). At the beginning of the dream we were in a house with stairs and his wife was there.  We all talked. Then I took him away. The swimming was part of something with my extended family, namely my Dad and his parents. Later in the dream I was in a room at my grandparent's house with my husband. My best two high school girlfriends came to get me. I began to pack a suitcase. But somehow ended up hiding in another room in a pile of clothes/blankets on the side of a bed, from my dad, (who found me).


In deciphering any of this, it may be helpful to know that my dad is a preacher, and so is his Dad (Pawpaw). I attribute our legacy of faith more to my grandmother though.  But either way you look at it, I have come to always assume a spiritual meaning when I'm at my grandparent's house in dreams. In every dream of their house it is a mansion; sometimes with a business going on inside, and other times with many bedrooms for guests. I'd like to conclude that the guests of their house have become a part of their legacy. But that's just a desire of mine, I'm not sure if it's right.  
Anyway, the part about my two high school friends, I imagine, is just me looking forward to our 'girl's weekend' coming up in March. They both live in other states, so it is very rare that I see them, outside of Facebook. :-)
Hiding in the blankets on the side of the bed instantly reminds me of how I wake up many mornings. You see, my dog Knuckles sleeps in blankets right beside my bed and often whines for me to join him.  Which, being the pushover that I am, I often do.  So we can assume that I was hiding in a "dog's" bed from my father (who often represents my view of my heavenly father... and we all know you can't hide from Him).
I'd like to say that interactions with my ex during the dream were purely innocent, but often in my dreams there is still a spark between us.  It is encouraging though, to know that often what may seem to have sexual undertones (or overtones) in dreams really has nothing to do with sex.  It's often just symbolic of intimacy in talking, or in a common interest. In many of my dreams that involve him, our daughter is present, but in this one she wasn't. However, I'd like to point out that his wife was there, and had no problem with me taking him.  That in itself says that this was probably an innocent interaction. 


I know we didn't make a complete interpretation, but completion is not always necessary. (Plus I don't have all the other bits and pieces.) I think, for me today, it's enough to know that even in my subconscious I honor his wife, and that if I hide, God sees me anyway. 
I also wanted to point out that I don't believe this dream was divine in nature. There are self dreams and God dreams, and some that mix both. Even though this dream had God elements, I don't think it was from Him. I think it was just my own brain working out some issues. 
When I have "God dreams" they are typically very vivid in color and clear. Those are the ones to pay attention to! That's not to say that self dreams can't be helpful. They often reveal a lot about the issues you are struggling with, or excited over, or even the ones you are avoiding.


My last comment is to my 'comments'
Thank you all for leaving them. 
1. As for remembering dreams, pray or self talk to yourself that you will remember, that often works.
2. Yes, personal symbolism is the key... which leads me to...
3. Dream dictionaries can be helpful, but hardly dependable, because symbolism is so very personal. (personal culture, religion, family dynamics, fears, etc. all taint words for us, so that they don't mean the same to each person.)  Unless an interpreter is listening to God (or to a demon in many cases) their interpretation will be based on their own symbolism, or will be very general. Demonic interpretation may have elements of truth, but it will not be with your benefit in mind. Most profitable new-age dream interpreters have tapped in to evil spirits.  With that said, no, I don't think I will be using the suggested web site. (Maybe I will, to prove my generalization point at some time.)  The best way to interpret dreams is to know yourself and what things mean to you. (Of course, I'd add prayer too.)