"Alice in Wonderland"

I had a wonderful dream last night... very vivid and with one name that stood out. I said it over and over this morning to remember.

I took the kids to school... came home... and can't remember.

Don't you hate it when that happens?

I do have a backup plan. I went to see Alice In Wonderland last night, and just had some thoughts on that.

People have given some bad reviews, I don't tend to listen to reviews on "artist" films.

Story lines mean nothing to me if the art is good.  Really, I didn't mind the story line. I got just as much from Alice's lesson of making her own choices and living her own life, as I did from the awesome visual trip back to my childhood imagination.

I simply adore seeing visually stimulating imagery.

I had a great time allowing myself to be as "mad" as the hatter or march hare. 

The costumes were inspiring.

When Johny Depp recited the Jabberwocky poem, my heart just swelled in my chest. 

(I loved that poem growing up. My dad even built a whole series of stories around it that he would play out on our backs at 'tuck in' time. Back stories, and those particular ones were called "ruffle-snort stories". He would use the same type of language and tell a story that was really only comprehensible because of the few English words thrown in here and there. He was an English major, and is a very good story teller.)

So... all of this to say... If you enjoy this type of blog... talking about crazy dreams and such, and you haven't seen Tim Burton's version of "Alice in Wonderland"... Go see it.

"Laundry and Frozen Dinosaurs"

In last night's dream I was at my friend Kim's house. It wasn't really her house, but it was.

(They recently moved to their third house since I've known her.) The house in the dream was a little bit of some of her houses and a little bit of the house I was in when I met her. (I've been in three houses in that time frame too.)

At first, I was outside doing laundry. There was a clothes line, and a shed that held the washing machine and dryer. The back yard was very pretty, like a country garden. (It reminded me of a friend's back yard in Alabama.) I saw a kitten playing a few yards away, and noticed that he was playing with a baby fox. (It was like The Fox and the Hound, only a cat instead of a dog.) They scampered off through the bushes by a white fence. I thought it was a little strange to see a fox and kitten playing, but I went right back to the laundry.

I was picking up piles and piles of clean clothes to take inside to fold. I kept dropping pieces and getting frustrated. (There was even a pile of men's button up shirts already on hangers.)

I got an arm load inside and sat on the floor by the TV to fold. A Shirley Temple movie was on. She was saying, "I sing good. People like my voice, but it's my face that gets me all the parts." (odd, I know.)

As I was watching her, I realized that the movies were late. They were due back at Blockbuster the day before. (For real, Blockbuster went back to charging an over-due fee, and I had 'late movies' just a few days ago. I'm switching back to netflix.) The movies that were late in real life flashed through my mind, as did some other random cartoon movie and this Shirley Temple thing I was watching.

I got up to take them to the store. I never actually went though. I ended up in the kitchen looking for a snack. I was looking through multiple leftovers when Kim came in. She pointed out a little scene in the door shelf of the freezer that Lauren (her daughter) had made. "Can you tell what they are?" she asked. "Yeah, they are dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets," I said. The scene was made of salad and shredded carrots for grass, and frozen (all crystally white) dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. 

...and that was the extent of the dream.

I'd love to sit and ponder the meaning with you, but I have to go to counseling in a few minutes, so "Ciao."

"Chorus Girls, Teeth, and Packing"

Three again last night:

One involved girl celebrities (Katie Holmes, Nancy McKeon, Madonna, and Nicole Kidman, that I can remember) dressed as chorus line girls. I was with them... dressed the part as well. There was a red rope and a line.  I was down on the floor part of the time, during some sort of emergency. Nancy McKeon was the only one talking to me, instructing me during the emergency. An army or some sort of crowd had rushed in to the square where we were.

The second dream involved my best friend from college, Ramin, examining my teeth. He had one of those mirrors that dentists use and was looking at all of my teeth. Them being in great shape somehow told him that I was being good, and that I was an OK person. I think I was in a bus.

The third dream involved packing. I was at some sort of camp and I had to go on a mini trip within the camp. My sister and I were sharing a suitcase and I had to re-pack only my things for a day trip, in a smaller suitcase. I was going through all the pockets and pulling out wads of her dirty clothes. I also went through like 6 different PJs. One had teddy bears and rainbows. One was dark blue with other tropical colors and buttons down the front with a lapel and everything. One was pastel with some other childish print made of T-shirt jersey.

The amount of PJs stood out to me. I had picked two that I wanted to take with me and was still looking through the others as if I would pick more. But then it dawned on me that I only needed one pair, for one night. I then wondered why we had so many pairs in the first place.

All I can say as to where the dreams came from is that I was shopping yesterday trying to find some PJs. (I didn't find any.) I talked to my sister yesterday... about her kids and them dressing up.

One of my teeth (that had a small veneer just at the top by the gums) chipped off a couple days ago, and has been making me think that I don't like fake crap on my teeth that may come off and cause more hours in the dentist chair. (I don't like dentist visits!)

Anyway, If I was going to get all philosophical about it, I'd mention that I've been wondering about Ramin and his faith. If he is dealing with his Muslim roots, if he's gotten further in or out of that... and also if he has been thinking further about our differences or if he still thinks of me as a good person. (He's liberal, I'm conservative. He's Muslim, I'm Christian. He's gay, I'm straight.... The list goes on. But he is in my top 3 favorite people in the whole world.) I haven't spoken to him in almost a year. (minus via computer.)

I could also go philosophical with the suitcases and mention that my counselor (who I go see tomorrow) told me to journal and to think of myself as Saul hiding in the luggage; I have been called to great things, but I'm stuck in the baggage. When I go through my history and my "baggage" it often brings up my sister and all that her domination over me contributed to my "issues". I need to take out her "dirty clothes" so to speak, and pack my own suitcase; not giving her any more power. She has no power over me anymore; she doesn't even want it. That was literally years and years ago. But my "mold" has not been broken.

"Fashion choices"

I had a frustrating dream last night.

I was going somewhere with my family (mom, dad, sister... not husband and kids).

I had to get dressed, but I couldn't find anything I liked. I had a huge closet (more like a back stage dressing room) to choose from. It was all from the early 90's; lots of baggy things, lots of skin tight things.

The most memorable pair of items I put on was an over sized gauzy white button-up shirt, over a long jean skirt that was tattered and had a slit up the back that nearly went to butt cheek level. 

My hair was even in a early 90's style.

The above outfit was too "blocky" and unflattering, so I put on a skin tight long floral skirt with gathering up the sides, ala Spanish dancer. This was probably the fifth outfit I tried, (not to mention the long racks of stuff I had just looked at).

I'm always intrigued by these type of dreams.

I have them every few months. I try on outfits and don't seem to like any of them. They are almost always from the 80's or 90's. Occasionally I'll try on all things that I do like, and occasionally they will be modern.

I always wonder, "Is it about fashion?" (since that is what I have a BA in, and what I want to be spending time on.) OR, "Is it about choices?" and that's just how God talks to me because it is a language I enjoy.

Is it about my career, or lack there of? About what I should be doing with my time? About spending time doing things that really don't fit? Why are the clothes outdated? Am I doing things that I was once called to, but now am not? Or is my fashion calling outdated? 

So many questions. I think I'll go to the dog park. :-)

"Prayer in Dreams"

In last night's dream (the one I can remember), I was with my family in a Vegas type place.  We were in a nice hotel room/apartment looking out over the back wall of the building. The back of the building was covered in white twinkle lights. There was a party going on behind our building. I wanted to go.  We walked out of the room and down to our car. We got in and drove around back. It was just like Vegas where going around a hotel is an event in itself, so by the time we got to the back, we couldn't actually see the lights that I was aiming for. There was a massive parking structure and more 'hotel entry' road ahead that may have also led to parking, but my husband pulled into the first parking structure, a block or more away from our building. (My husband loves to take the tight turns up the parking levels fast when no one is around)... and that's just what he was doing. I was in the passengers seat scared as usual, and then it happened... He drove off the side of the structure! In front of us was a huge gorge with trees on the hill sides. The fall went on for miles. My kids and husband were silent as I said a family prayer out loud for all of us. "Thank you God, that we are coming home today..." The prayer went on and on with thanks. I thought of saying "please help..." but I stopped myself, knowing that we were surely dead at the bottom, so I just said "Thank you." I thought about my legs breaking on impact, but the impact never came. Still in my dream, I woke up surrounded by my family (Mom too). They told me I had been talking in my sleep. "You were about to die, and you were praying. It was beautiful," they said.

I can distantly remember having dreams where I woke up in the dream, but was still asleep; it usually had to do with needing to pee. I would dream that I woke up, got out of bed and went to the bathroom, only to realize that when I got back to bed, I still had to pee... and had to wake up for real.

I can't remember ever having a dream where I woke up to other people around me (all "Wizard of Oz' like).

I have woken up a few times before where my husband is there saying, "You were talking in your sleep." Nine out of ten times that I wake up talking, I'm praying. However, I am usually casting out a demon, or some other type of spiritual warfare, not "thanking" God. So this too, was a first.

And who knows if I was really speaking out loud this time. My husband didn't hear anything.

"Speaking at a Pub"

In last night's dream I was at a pub that had two floors like the "Capital Garage" used to when it was open in down town Sac. The people were listening to someone talking. I interrupted the guy, or maybe he was finished when I got up to speak, but I took the stage and started talking about the end of the world. (You can see the types of things I said at my other blog (allabouttheend.blogspot.com). When I was finished a crowd gathered around me asking questions and saying that they really enjoyed my lecture. 

I made my way up stairs with two guys who worked there.  One of them did a back flip in the loft area, then they left to clean up down stairs.  When they were gone I did a back flip too. (These were like trampoline back-flips, not on the floor, but jumping in the air and landing on your feet.) The guys came back up stairs and I told them I could do it too. They didn't believe me and asked me to prove it. At that point we were in the middle of the floor. I tried to jump but the wooden floor was to squishy at that spot. We moved over a few feet, but it was still too soft. So I walked back over to where I had done the first flip; the ground there was firmer, with just a little give. They had to move a ping-pong table out of the way for them to stand there, but I did my flip. I barely landed on my feet, grazing my butt on the uptake. They were only some-what impressed.

The scene changed to having sex with my husband... which lasted a while... then I got up and went to the bathroom. The small sectioned off room with the toilet in it (which is how it is at my house) was flooded with dirty water from the potty. It was gross. I yelled for my husband... 

...Then woke up.

I know the speaking in public thing was brought on by incidences from the last few days.

At my Thursday bible study my friend Rene was on my case to get back to doing my dresses for a fashion show I'm working on based on the 7 Feasts. (I've been on my own case. It frustrates me that I haven't finished the one project standing in my way.) This show may also lead to a speaking opportunity to "explain" the gowns, which has a lot to do with the eschatology. 

Then on Friday I went to a Bible study at another church. It was my first visit. I had an unusual boldness there and spoke up whenever I had something to add to the teaching. (That is something I don't do.  ...but did.)

And finally yesterday I was at a baby shower and one of the ladies had heard about my "end times" study and she asked me about it. I rambled off some authors she might want to look at and gave her a brief synopsis of my views. She said, "You should teach on this. Have you ever talked to Pastor Scott about it?" I said, "No. The official view of the Pentecostal church is pre-trib, so I really don't think he'd go for it." 

All of these incidences, as well as the dream, are really making me think though, of who I could speak to.  Who would be interested?  Where should I go?  hmmmm.

As for the rest of the dream. I think the flip was from a boost of confidence, but that my confidence doesn't work so well when someone is watching.

The sex part, and the flooded toilet... I'm not sure.