Showing Off and Staying

As is generally the case, once I write about one dream after a long pause, I'll get another the very next day. It reminds me of the verse about being faithful with little leading to being trusted with more.
For the past few months I have literally been blowing my dreams off. After the prayer I told you about yesterday the thought of getting back to what God has called me to do has resonated in my head. This dream journal... as silly as it may be to some of you, is something God called me to do. This is "practice" for me. Some times other people's dreams make a lot more sense to me than my own, but how can I expect to be able to help with interpretation if I'm not willing to practice on my own?

With out further adieu, and whether you want it or not, here's last night's dream.

It started in a church office that reminded me more of a school library office I had in another dream last year. I was there to see my friend Carrie, who worked there. (She really works at the front desk of a Chiropractor's office.) The Dr. she works for was there too, and he was handing her some papers. I was talking to her while she filed things away.
We got to a part of our conversation that was private, so I told her we'd finish talking after she was done working. Then I walked out of the office and into another area of the church. I saw a room with people setting up for an evening event. I walked in with my son. I had diamonds on my teeth like a grill.
We sat down across from Tyler (my pastor's oldest son). We started talking to him about church and the event about to happen, and then we talked a little about ourselves. He kept mentioning that he enjoyed the same things I was saying I enjoyed. At one point I had stated that I was more into the arts than I was sports (duh), but that I understood his family was the opposite. He corrected me and said that he liked art better too. (I doubt that is really the case... unless you count music.) I was surprised.
Shortly after that interchange my son asked if we could go. We got up and I went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and spit out all the diamonds. I looked at my teeth and the glue holding the diamonds had left a brownish film on my teeth. I showed another girl who was in the bathroom too and asked her what I could do about it. She didn't see what I was talking about. I took my fingernail and scraped off a brown chunk of glue.(yuck) "See?" I asked. At that she was gone and I scrapped more of my teeth, then put the diamonds back to see if keeping them in was easier than scraping the gunk off. I realized I looked a little silly with them on and was embarrassed that I had been wearing them the whole time, so I threw the diamonds away.
My son was waiting for me outside of the door and when I came out he said he didn't want to go back to talk to Tyler anymore because I might end up getting married. (haha) So we walked outside and there was a huge line of people that went on for blocks, all headed to camp. We were supposed to be going too. As we were about to join the group I had a desire to not go and I asked my son, "Do you wanna stay home?" He agreed and we went down the line against the flow aiming for our house. About a block away from our house (which was depicted as a glass walled house that resembled the house from "The Brady Bunch") we crossed over a cinder block wall. I noticed my dog being led by an old school mate of mine on the other side of the wall that we had just crossed. I called to her, "Tisha, pass me Knuckles". So my son and I got Knuckles along with his bed, food dish, and camper crate, then we headed back to our house. The line of people extended past our house even. As we approached our house, I knew Carrie was there, staying too. Then I woke up.

I understand that a diamond grill is most likely something about showing off, and I get the idea that God is telling me that showing off in church basically looks silly... Stop it. He put Tyler there as the main person because He knows I admire Tyler. (I have a thing for preacher's kids... had the same thing at our old church, Sun Grove, with that pastor's oldest son. Granted I'm ten years older and happily married... It's just more of "eye candy" and "thought candy". No I'm not lusting... They both just happen to be attractive, and I admire the walk with God that they seemed to keep in the years that I fell off the wagon. Being a preacher's kid myself, I have always felt a connection with both sons, even though our conversations have been very few and very brief.)
As for the rest of the dream, I know I need to talk to Carrie, and there's that, but what about the long line going to camp, and why were the dogs going?
Tisha... most likely isn't my old school mate Tisha at all, but my other friend Tisha whom I just talked to yesterday (or Monday). I was very grateful for our history of friendship; for all the similarities that we have and how I know, above any other person, she can understand a lot of what my struggles have been.
So here she is in the dream guiding my dog for me to this place that all these church people are going to.
The first thing that my mind goes to (not sayin' I'm right), is concentration camps. It is rumored that the camps present in the US today are reserved for a day when Christianity will be outlawed. My mind could be thinking about this possibility and my desire to fight against submitting to that fate. In the dream I walk boldly against the stream of people going to camp. My son agrees with me, and we get our beloved dog and go home to a glass house. The glass house clearly (no pun intended) symbolizes exposure. If I stay, I will not be in hiding in any way... even as I go to talk about private things with my friend Carrie. (Who, BTW, would stay in the face of danger too, I'm sure.)

Let the Inappropriateness Continue

Another weird one last night.

It began in a house most closely related to a house lived in in Florida when I was 7, but with elements of a house from NC when I was 5. I was there with my daughter and my son and we were getting ready to leave for somewhere. My daughter was ready and in the kitchen and my son was still putting on shoes and socks in his room. I was yelling at him to not lolly-gag. I was even getting violent. Not hitting him, just raving like a lunatic. He was a teenager in the dream (which is the first time I've ever dreamed of him older than he is). My daughter was still a teenager too though.
Out of the blue an old class mate named Terri Scott showed up at the back sliding glass door. I motioned for her to come around to the front. Then I noticed it was raining as she made her way around to a side door (also glass... and there were many windows along the side, so it was like I saw her the whole way as she walked). There were two dogs outside and both were wet and muddy from a puddle near the back door. I didn't want then to come in but I told Terri to come on in the side door. The dogs ran by her as she opened the door.
I walked through the back of the house again and my dad was sitting on the floor naked (a sight I've never actually seen). My daughter walked by and I got very upset with my dad for being exposed in front of her.
The scene changed a bit and we were in a house that I lived in when I was a pre-teen. It was just me and my dad and my mom in their room. My dad was still naked and the vibe was all wrong. Luckily I woke up then.

Thoughts on meaning...
well, my daughter and I had a conversation about penises the other day and how she had never seen one that didn't belong to a small child, or a statue. Also a day ago my nephew was wandering around the house naked and my dad made a comment about it. He quoted my daughter from when she was 2 and had walked in the bathroom where my dad was peeing. She said, "Why he's peeing through his dinger?" (meaning "finger").
That, I suppose, is why a naked father was in my mind.
As for Terri and the dogs, and the rain, and the glass... well, I don't know. I have been waiting for years for Terri to tell me something about her brother. He was a good friend of mine. She was a few years older than me and he was in my grade. She's on facebook, and he's not... so I've been asking about him, but still no word. Perhaps she will tell me soon. I'll go look on her page for news. I'm hoping it's not bad... as the rain and yucky dogs would suggest.
And why was I yelling at my son? Yes, he often does lolly-gag and it's irritating, but not "rage" worthy. Perhaps it's just my anger at kids at camp surrounding my son. I got a letter from him yesterday talking about some bullies at camp. It made me mad. Socks (with his name on them in sharpie) make me think of camp... which is what he was putting on in the dream.

Who am I?

Tis the week of disturbing dreams, I have decided.

Last night's started with my daughter and I going to her first 'female exam'. It was in a college class room on a table. The room was very large and upstairs. The table was near a window. There were a total of three doctors, each came in one at a time. They were going to fill her "cavity" with some sort of mold making plaster substance. (I think this strange concept came from my husband's inner ear sound system molds that arrived yesterday.)  When the last Dr. came in he wanted to shave her and give her a "wig" made of the hair on her head... which was red in the dream. I told him not to shave her completely, explaining to him and her that it would itch like crazy when the hair grew back in.  He left the room and we escaped. We went down a corridor and some stairs and ended up at my home from my late teens ;(the home that my daughter was born at).

While we were there my dad was talking to me about laundry and a trip. I went outside and sat on the driveway with my two dogs: one from then, and one from now. Back then I had a small Cocker Spaniel mix, and now I have an American Stoffordshire Terrier, so they were quite opposite sitting out there with me. A lady with a stroller walked by and my small dog walked over to see her. 

My parents came out and said it was time for our trip, so I put the dogs away and we got into a van. I sat in the back of the van. We drove to the snow to go skiing. There were a few of us that didn't have socks, so when we reached to snow we had to stop and buy some. I already had on my ski boots when we got out of the van to go in the store. I feel on my butt directly out of the van in some ice, and again inside the store. The whole time I was walking to the store and even inside for part of the time I was texting my daughter's ex-boyfriend, Nick. The store was open on one side like it had multiple garage doors that were all opened that day. It was a packed store and very "costco"-ish. After I looked at a few things I made my way to some metal steps by the street and sat down. I feel asleep. Water rising up to my feet woke me up. I was a little girl, like maybe 6 or 7. I knew I had left my younger sister on another step, so even though I heard my dad calling me, I went back into a tower of sorts that had another metal stairway going down the center to get my sister. She too was down in some water as I pulled her up and we climbed the stairs together. She was blonde and about 4. (My daughter was blonde when she was 4.   hmmm.)

And that was the end of the dream.

Aside from the inner ear molds, there is nothing about this dream that resembles anything from the past few weeks, so it is most definitely not just a compilation of my thoughts.

I'm not sure I want to find out what it all means. 

For reoccurring themes... there's the laundry... and that's about it. hmmmmm. Again, I have to wonder if I was me the whole time, or if while I was texting Nick, was I my daughter? 

Anyway, I'll think about it. For now, I have to go get my kids to school.

Trains... no planes... no automobiles

A few more disturbing dreams.

First one:

I'm driving a train along open, sometimes cavernous, terrain. (at least I think I'm driving; I guess I could have been poking my head out of a back area.)  There is another train and driver in front of me (or if I'm wrong, it's the real driver of my train). The driver of the first train is crazy. He's a skinny mountain man like you'd picture from the gold rush of 49. He seems intent on crashing.  At the finally of the dream a rocking horse/boulder is sliding on a cable directly to the left of the on coming train. I'm watching, thinking, "It's going to hit!" And the Gold miner dude is watching it and getting excited, "wahoo!". On impact, I woke up.

Second one:

I'm in a large store like Macys with my friends (my BF from High School, and three more from now-a-days).

We're looking at cosmetics and there's a serum that says it smooths out your thighs. It's in a tiny vial and very expensive. Everybody says to walk away, but I'm interested. I watch a small demo of the product (I guess on a screen). It shows John Cougar's model wife (don't remember her name) rubbing the cream... that now looks like foundation, over her butt and thighs with multiple tattoos, making them all disappear. I think,"well, shoot, it's only good for one use. Once you get in the water, that's gone." Then I wonder what it actually does for cellulite etc. cause she doesn't have any to start with. On the demo, her butt and legs(which is all you see now) turn into an old lady's butt and legs... naked. She's laying on her belly and slowly her legs disappear and her butt starts to look like the butt of a turkey before it's cooked... but wrinkly.

I walk away. My friends and I all go out to a train station. We are waiting a long time for the train and we all have lots of bags. I start to day dream about something and actually doze off. Minutes later my friends are calling for me from the train which is about half a block down the road on the platform.  I rush to gather the small amount of stuff they've left for me to carry. (A hat box with some socks and shoes, and other pieces of laundry.) I start running and the train starts up. Still running and the train starts moving. "Oh NO!" I start taking huge (supernatural) steps and catch up with the front of the train... which is more like a subway train. I plaster myself to the train and try to scoot around the right side to get to the doors. The conductor puts her head out and says my name with alarm. She opens a door for me and (after dropping most of what I had) I get in.

..and that was the end.

Third one: 

Was at my 6th grade house with my family and my Pawpaw (granddad on my dad's side). I started in my parent's room and then went through our swinging doors to the kitchen to look for food. Pawpaw came too and was looking for food as well.

That's about all I remember about that.

Cinderella's Castle Ride

Last night there was lots of dreaming going on... but one stood out above the rest, so that's the one I will tell.

I was at Disney Land (or what was suppose to be Disney land). Things were closing, but I wanted to see a new ride inside Cinderella's castle that my church's youth pastor (David) had designed. I snuck in and went up to a ledge that had a small nook where some paper in an envelope was.

The room I was in was circular. The ceilings were extremely high (three stories worth, I'd guess). The walls were white and the detailing was blue... just like Cinderella's castle on the outside. (Just FYI, Cinderella's castle is my FAVORITE part of Disney!) The floor was white marble with small black tile accents... just like the grand hotel I often dream of. There were multiple nooks on the wall, (little places to showcase your treasures ...like the alters in Mexico that have Mary statues.) They were all empty but very ornate. 

I climbed up to the alcove with the envelope on it, opened it up and read. I don't remember what it said, but I knew it was written by David. There was a rope dangling from the ceiling for me to hold on to. I held it and the "ride" started. The rope swung me around the room, basically leaping from nook to nook, in a circle and very fluid. After a few times around I wanted to stop. I landed right where I started, but the alcove was now lower to the ground... about kitchen counter height, and as I set down the paper a bull came in the door.

The bull was staring at me and was mad that I was there. He started to charge me. 

I noticed a wooden window frame to my right and I looked through it. It went to a kitchen. Then I noticed that the window slid up to open. So I opened it and barely squeezed through. I came out the other side on the kitchen counter. The kitchen was very neat and Disney-ish with an old Dutch vibe; lots of wood. 

I remembered that I had left my things (or maybe just the paper) in the other room. So I went back into the circular Cinderella room... with the bull.

The floor had changed into brown, like dirt... but it was smushy, like walking in a semi-deflated bounce-house, or on quicksand that you don't sink into. I could barely walk, and the bull was basically guarding the area I was aiming for. I got to the point that I was crawling, and the bull came to help me.

...and that was the end of the dream.

While we were on our tour in Israel I learned a little more about those alcoves. We went to the Temple of Pan: a place where there were many many alcoves all dedicated to different deities. This was the site where Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do you say that I am?" It was a pointed lesson because He asked them in the midst of numerous 'gods'.

Last night's dream is another that I'm not sure of, but I think I was playing the part of my daughter. Her third "serious" relationship ended yesterday, and she has been trying to get a time to talk to David (the youth pastor) for a couple weeks now. 

We often talk to her about the 'god' placement her boyfriends hold in her life, so all these little alters around the room being very ornate, but empty at present, seem to fit that to me. 

And of course, just like most 16 year old girls, she's waiting for prince charming.

Right now... I'm amusing myself with the thought of my husband being the bull. :-)

"Old People"

Yesterday I didn't have time to write, but thought that today, instead of last night's non-remembered dreams, I'd go back and share the night before's.

In my dream, I went up to one of my daughter's friends, named Christian, and started to kiss him. Then he took my hand and said let's go get the keys. I went with him through a very grand hotel lobby and entrance (one I have dreamed of a few times before... with the round central room and white marble floors with black details). We went to a reception area that was similar to an airport waiting area with a check-in counter. In the seating area we plotted about how to get the keys. I would go over and steal them from the desk. But, as I walked to the desk, the ladies there said, "Oh are you so-and-so, here's your keys." So I just grabbed the three keys and went back to Christian. We went through a 'maze' of elevators and stairs, some broken with caution cones around them, and some normal. We felt like we were being followed. We got into a large SUV and drove to a town house community. We parked in a communal lot and walked to the house. There was a key rack right below a small front window. The key chains were all macrame. There were three empty spots that we knew belonged to our keys, and in each spot was one letter that together spelled R I P. It meant that the three people who's keys we had were dead. We took that as a good sign. Then we went inside. On the floor (on mattresses) and on the fold out couches were old people, all asleep. They were all cozy in their quilts and afghans.  We went into a small kitchen to our left and started making hot chocolate for all the old people as they woke up.

I had another dream that I was in a van with a bunch of old people and we arrived at a lady's house that goes to my dad's church. I was getting out and one of the old ladies, who had a walker, was trying to get me to move all the removable seats in the van so that they could get out easier. She was shoving them all over the place and making it more difficult on herself.

I left her and the rest still in the back seat and went through the garage into the kitchen with my family and my parents. We called for the owner of the house, but she wasn't home. I looked through curtains on my left out into a court yard with three picnic tables and a nice flower garden. My mom told me to close the curtains, that I was being rude. I walked to the entry of the house and looked out the front window. I watched trucks and cars go by looking for the owner of the house, but she never came. I noted that she had a good piece of property. She was up on a hill, on a corner. When I realized she wasn't coming, I started down the hallway to my right. It grew. At the end of the hallway were two rooms. I thought the right door would look better on the adjacent wall, and it moved there. The left door, straight ahead, went to an older boy's room that was filled with heavy metal memorabilia. It was a mess with clothes and things all over. The room to the right was like a work shed. It was clear that they belonged to the same boy, but there were no posters on this wall. I thought, "this would make a good music room". Then I walked out.

I had another dream (and I recorded them all), but I went to a Seder service last night and recorded over the dreams... and now I can't remember the last one. Poo.

So... why the old people? This may be a stretch, but one of the songs I've been listening to a lot lately (and am going to see the band in concert tonight) is "Wake Up the Dead" by Family Force 5. The songs talks about the judgmental attitude that they are getting from some of the older members of the church in general. 

This generation is a "praising" generation. Many of the "old" people aren't very happy with the way "Christian" music is sounding. (I have to say, that sometimes I fall into this category with my daughter's "Screamo" christian music.) Anyway, Christ said that the last generation would be a praising generation. 

One old pastor I heard on the radio said, "We need to stop spending so much time singing, and start reading the Bible." His whole message inadvertently down played praise and worship as if they were not an important part of church. I was a little miffed. 

Young people are 'stealing keys' from 'dead' old people. You have to be awake and alert in this time of tribulation. I know many awake old people, so it's not just about being old. I think it's more about "old-fashioned". 

Perhaps we can wake them up... with some hot chocolate, or maybe we will take over their good piece of vacant property, and they will be left in the van. We have the keys.

???

"Demon Fighting 101"

Busy dream night last night.  Not a very good sleep night, might I add.

Before I explain the dreams I'll point out how my yesterday went to note why I was dreaming such crazy stuff.

Almost all of my day yesterday was spent reading a book about the Anti-Christ by Joel Richardson. For about thirty minutes yesterday I watched part of a Prophetic seminar DVD that mentioned encounters with demon possessed people. 

I am also waiting to hear from my friend Paul, and he came up in a conversation I had right before bed. 

And finally last night I had a sexual escapade with my husband.

Given that was my day, these dreams won't seem so weird.

#1 Paul and I were going through backyards to get to his house and got caught by a cop for trespassing. 

(simple enough. I did have a FB conversation with an old mutual friend about backyards without fences, and I did get caught by an animal patrol guy with my dog off-leash a day ago.)

#2 I found a black clutch purse in a public restroom by a parking garage. I spent some time in the restroom washing my hands and drying them. Then I took the purse with me to my apartment. I had my small dog from when I was a kid with me as I went up several flights of stairs and into a small apartment. When we got into the apartment I realized that I hadn't let my dog go to the bathroom, so I opened the door to the balcony and told her to go out there. The balcony was really a room with shelves and a desk and closet, but the floor was rough concrete like a balcony. The minute I put her down I noticed a large husky looking dog at the window peering in. I quickly picked up my dog and made a dash for the door. The demonic husky looking dog leaped into the balcony room and chased us. We barely made it through the door (all slow motion-y) before he caught up with us. I tried to close the door but his paw/hand was blocking it. I got it locked with his hand still there, and then his other hand burst through the wall by the door frame on the other side. (He was more like a werewolf  than a dog) I ran out of my apartment to try to get the manager to come help me. I yelled up and down the stairwell for help, but no one was listening. I finally grabbed a guy and made him come with me.

Then I woke up.

I went back to sleep (It was only 1:00) and dreamed this one...

#3 I was in a house that was kinda 70's in feel. I was being attacked by a ball of fire with a human face. I didn't see the face till the end of the dream. During the dream I asked three different people to fight the 'demon'. I'd say, "through him out the window", and they would, but it would float back in. Finally my husband, who looked like Aaron Eckhart in this dream (the dude who played Harvey Dent/ Two-face in Batman) fought off the demon fire ball and won. The face on the fireball was Aaron Eckhart as well.

(Creepy huh?)

#4 Started as a replay of my sexual escapade with my husband. However, just a while into the foreplay his good friend came over and (for lack of wanting to be graphic), lent some assistance. Directly following a short time of  that my husband and I were leaving. My husband got up and walked away and his friend forced himself on me. My husband came back and pushed him off. His friend morphed into the werewolf creature from my previous dream and I clocked him right in the jaw. His entire jaw detached and went partially down his throat. I asked what happened and he gave me this weird cartoon like grin with no teeth. I said, "Oh, I'm sorry," and started to fix his jaw by pulling it out to it's normal level and hooking wires that went from his teeth to his flesh. His teeth were more like human teeth but in a long dog like snout. The wires reminded me of braces.

And that's the end of my crazy night.

Please God, let tonight's dreams be better. :-)

"Get Up"

Last night my husband specifically told me to have sweet dreams. Either that wish just doesn't work past the age of 9, or God has a strange sense of what 'sweet' is.

My dream was in an alternate universe of sortst. In an outside segment my pastor was skateboarding with some teen age boys on a street that went up in a U and back down, but all on a tilt. (This, I think is from a climbing structure at the park yesterday that my son's friend did perfectly, but that I'd never seen attempted before. It's like a rock climbing thing that has a sideways S shape.)

Anyway, the street is either connected to the house, or right outside and I'm seeing it through a window. The house I'm in is supposed to be my Great Aunt Ella Ray's house, but it's not like her real house at all. The house in the dream has small rooms and exposed beams, yellowing wall paper, antiques that look their age, and dust. (Her real house is very clean and well kept... minus the upstairs shag carpet that desperately needs replacing.)

I am watching the skateboarding and reading a book. When Pastor Scott comes in I am sitting in a lazy boy chair with my book. He tells me, "You read too much; get up." I point out that I only have a small section of the book left.

I get up, look around, and notice my great aunt taking art off the wall. Then she takes some cross-stitched pillow cases off the pillows and hangs them on the wall. They are for sale. I ask her what's up, and she tells me that the money is running low and she needs to sell some more.

I walk into the laundry room and find a cell phone. When I check it, it has lots of unheard messages. She says she doesn't know how to work it, so she never checks. I check them... nothing interesting until one from her nephew or some family male (I think nephew) saying that he's in the hospital (Or maybe it was jail, or he was dead... something bad). I went to tell her about it in a panic, but then I thought, "Why should I upset her with that news?" so I didn't.

That's all.

OK... so I read/study too much and I need to get out and do. Got it... though, just like the dream says, I feel like saying,"I've only got a little bit left to read."  I know that's not true. There will always be more things I want to study. I need to study and get out and do, not just one or the other.

As for my aunt... Maybe I'll call her and see if everything is fine.

Cliff Climbing

Well, we have a few minutes before we leave the hotel for the Roman Theater and Dead Sea, so I'll try to squeeze out a dream.

I was at church and Darnisha (worship leader) had me stand up to tell about my trip.  I stood up in the front row and the words I said, as I remembered the sites (which we haven't even seen yet) were, "It was like a fairytale."

After that I walked with Neva (another pastor who deals with hospital visits and calls and hospitality stuff) over to an area of bagged food for the homeless. We looked at it all and I picked up something with my dad and walked behind a crowd.

My dad went to get the car and I followed the crowd all with arms full of stuff. With me, was my sister and Guy (an old friend from HS). We arrived at a hill and started to climb.

Soon the hill was a cliff (still with grass though). We no longer had anything in our hands and the cliff was getting so steep that it was angling towards us. Right near the top I started hanging off the side of the cliff. I was pleading with Guy to help me. "Guy, Guy, please help. I can't pull myself up.  Please help, ....Guy, Guy..."

He pointed out a bar to me that was about 3 feet away from the cliff. I didn't want to go away from the cliff.

Finally he pulled himself into a window, as did my sister, and they started to help me.

The window had a glass that tilted on it's middle so that you could go in the top or the bottom. I came through the top. I was in my night shirt with nothing else on. I was upset that I didn't have on bottoms.

But I got in the window safely.

That was the end.

It was very interesting that I already had images of my trip in my mind when I was telling church about it.

I also found the cliff very intriguing.  Perhaps something will make sense later. 

Not sure if I'll have time to post tomorrow; we'll see.