A Short Affair

I wish I could remember my other dreams from last night... I had three, but only remember one now. The first two were mild in nature and OK for sharing.
The last one (the one I remember) is not appropriate at all, but I will do my best to share it.

It started in a church service. (I watched a little church TV yesterday while over at my friend's house, who is stuck in bed with an illness. The service in my dream was way more like the church on TV than any church I have ever been to in person.) The choir wore royal blue robes and the congregation was full of dressed up people. I sat on the 3rd row on the right hand side close to the middle aisle. Half way through the service there was a break. People got up to use the restroom, or get a doughnut, or whatever. I stayed seated.
When the break was over only half of the people came back. The speaker in the front made mention of it, and I thought to myself, "oh, the people will be back soon, they are just taking their time." There were many that did come back, but not all. A pastor that I know came and sat down beside me. I noticed that I was wearing a robe as well, and that I was naked underneath. The robe had opened in the front at my leg, and my upper thigh was exposed. The pastor beside me (on my left) reached over and "touched" me. I was shocked. I moved the robe to cover myself, but shortly after that he took my hand and put it on his "lap". "Oh my God," I barely whispered as I felt how huge he was.
The scene changed and we were in my bedroom. There was no sensation of anything sexual, but we were having sex. All I thought of was how big he was. My kids came to the door and I quickly got up and rushed to see what they wanted. I put the pastor over my shoulder (lack a sack) and played it off as if he was my husband. As I talked to the kids, they never looked at his face. Then right as we were done talking my daughter noticed who it was. She questioned me, and very plainly I said, "We are just having a short affair, it will be over very soon," and I rushed back to the bed eagerly.

Well... it's yet another dream about exposure, and about the church. I have had dreams this week of dealing with children's ministry, teen girl's ministry, church 'building' ministry, and now intimacy with pastoral ministries.
The fact that there was no sexual sensation in the dream assures me that it wasn't really about sex. The size of things I think is symbolic of power and influence, and that was the luring point.
It would be nice to think that my constant exposure would lead to a place of influence, but positions of influence are tricky; there is a lot of war-fare involved in leadership.

... that's all I have today.

Reunion at a Water Park

I was texting my old friend Paul last night shortly before bed time... telling him that facebook doesn't give me "enough" of him. It's all so surface driven (which is good for the internet,) but I wanted to know more about where he was at in life.

When I was a teenager I often went out with guys just because they liked me. Paul was one of those guys that I never knew a thing about until we dated. It's a terrible method of dating and I preach against it to my daughter all the time, but that's what I did back then. If I found out they were "bad", or even if I knew they were beforehand, I hoped I would make them better. People call that missionary dating; I was queen of that method. Nothing ever happened to the boys I dated to make them better while I was in their life, but I have had multiple old boy friends tell me all these years later that I impacted them greatly. Few with stories of God, but most with stories of self-worth. I'm happy about that.

Well... last night I dreamed that I met Paul again at a reunion. The reunion was in a pool at a water park. All kinds of people from Aviano AFB HS were there, all swimming.
It was a deep pool with rocks on the sides and rivers trailing from it in a couple directions. The official reunion was only at that pool, though there were slides and other attractions all around. I was not aware of the other surroundings at the start of the dream... only the big pool with all my classmates.
I saw Paul and swam over to him. I floated my body up to the surface while we said our hellos and I took off something. Not sure if I had been fully dressed and was now in a swimsuit, or if I took off part of my swimsuit. I embraced Paul and then closed my eyes. He held me in a head lock and we talked. Only my head was above water now, with Paul's arm acting like a life preserver keeping me afloat. There was some "inappropriate" touching, and I asked if he should be doing that with all these people around. He laughed and said, "we're not there anymore", "I wouldn't do that in front of anyone." I opened my eyes and pulled away to find that we were now further down one of the lazy rivers that flowed from the pool. We continued down the river and on to multiple water slides, laughing and having a great time. After the third or fourth slide we went to get back into the lazy river but the entry stairs were over crowded with small children. Paul asked my what my intentions were. I explained to him that I had no desire to cheat on my husband and that I was very happy in my marriage. He was happy with that news. We stared at the obstacle of kids in front of us on the stairs and decided to try to jump over them. Right as I jumped the scene changed and I was no longer in the river or with Paul. I was now with my friends Shawn Kuver and the Rhodes sisters (Erin and Michelle), also from HS in Aviano. We were walking through a cruise ship type of hallway with red velvety carpets. There were trays of food and things nearby like we were at the back end of a restaurant. There was a piano sitting in the hallway and Shawn sat down to play, (well, goof off on it at least). One of my old youth group leaders, Jill, walked up to us and gave me a disapproving look. I took her queue and walked away.
Then I woke up.

Interesting dream, yes?
Water and pools etc. for me usually are about refreshing, cleansing, relaxing things. There was never a "bad" moment in the dream... even the inappropriate touch didn't feel "wrong". I think that with most dreams of sexual stuff the symbolism is more about intimacy than actual sex. (Of course, I could have been inputting my evening with my husband into part of my dream.) Anyway, I think that the dream speaks of having a private "deeper level" conversation with Paul (away from facebook... which is basically a reunion in itself), enjoying that, and both of us viewing our kids as obstacles that block that relaxing experience, the carefree life of when we knew each other.
As for the cruise ship part of the dream... I think it speaks of mischief. Shawn was most definitely one of my most troublesome friends. Especially given that Jill (a conscience symbol) snapped me out of it... I think that it was just a warning, still related to Paul... to not cause mischief.

Propositioned in a Theater

Last night's dream was disturbing.
I have no clue it's origin... Other than I was disturbed last night due to an upsetting e-mail from my son at camp. Poor little guy is having a hard time.

In the dream I had to sit in a seat that nearly hung over the edge of a very high balcony in a theater. There was something to do with college (noted by the people I saw around me). I sat waiting on an assembly of some sort to start.
Then two teen aged boys walked up to me propositioning me. One looked a lot like Paul Bettany (the dude who played the gambling poet in "A Knight's Tale".) He was scrawny and had redish hair and was naked. the other boy was the one that did the talking and was trying to get me to have sex with the red headed boy. They went so far as to show me his penis (which looked a lot like a finger with multiple bony knuckles) and give a detailed account of how each of the "knuckles" would feel.
I was repulsed, but was actually contemplating saying yes. Thankfully, I woke up before I made any decisions.

Aside from the strange penis... I can tell you that heights frighten me and that my college years were the biggest challenge of my life. Those two things make sense to be in last night's dream because of the fear I was feeling about my son, and about the challenge (the hardest of HIS life) that he is facing. The boys and the sex and the freaky penis... I have NO idea.

So Many Unwritten

I had my family visiting for the past week, so I never took the time to write my dreams. I did, however, have many nights of very interesting dreams. (Seems to always happen when they visit.)
I really wish I would've taken time to write them.

Last night's involved peeing in inappropriate places. (My nephew peed on my couch yesterday.) It was me doing the peeing in the dream though... in a doll's bed. At the end of the dream (after much pee related material) I had my husband below a table at a HS reunion in Vegas, doing things to me that are reserved for the bedroom. It was an all around "inappropriate" dream.

The night before I had a dream about switching rooms with my sister. My room had all of my old silver, black, and pink furniture, and her room had oak furniture, lots of knickknacks, a huge closet, and a small filing cabinet on her dresser. (We saw an old filing cabinet at the antique store Wednesday that my mom said would be good for my sister's organizing business.)
We switched rooms (I don't remember why) and an old lady came to look at our rooms. I showed her my sister's room as if it was my own. (Her room was very far from my style and would not have fooled anyone who knew us... so the lady must not have known us.)
It was a strange dream, and yet another dream about me being in my sister's closet looking at clothes. This time it passed beyond the clothes, and I looked through all of her things. I don't know what she did in my room cause I never went back in there.

This theme of my sister's clothes etc. is curious to me. I wonder if it has to do with weight... or if it's more about shared experiences as children... or the things I've adopted from my sister in my personality. hmmmm.

Awkward

My first dream:
I was with my mom and dad. We were at a mall because I wanted to go shopping. We had been walking for a very long time through halls with shops along the sides behind windows and doors. (It reminded me of Las Vegas when you have to go through a long hallway of shops from the parking garage to the main casino area.) The building we were in was old though; it was brick, and looked like a museum. After walking and still not shopping for a very long time, I actually said, "This mall is more like a museum." It was about at that point that we 'got some where'. My mom, in answer to my question, said, "Well let's go down this way." We started down some stairs that led to a Marie Calendars, but the stairs soon became a ladder. There were rungs every few feet, but the main handle on the sides was only every 6 feet. For some reason I wasn't using any of the middle rungs, only one every 6 feet that lined up with the handle. I was dropping, only holding the sides for the entire length of my body each time. My parents were coming down the ladder rung by rung, but face first... like they were crawling "spidey-style" down towards me.  I complained about the ladder. Almost directly after the complaint (and my mind thinking about what I was doing, and how I could do it differently) we were at the bottom. Instead of going through the restaurant, or sitting down, we went just to the right of the ladder where there was a bed. My mom lay on the bed on the right side, and I lay on my belly with my head and arms dangling off the end on the left side. Again, I stopped and realized what I was doing, and repositioned myself. The bed was very lumpy and I said it was better before. My mom thought that maybe I just needed less noise to be able to sleep, so I went to turn off the TV (no longer in the restaurant atmosphere). When I got to the TV I noticed that it had been recording every show for the past like 6 or so hours. I took some time to try to delete each show. (Probably more from my ipod frustration the other day... cause now I have so many unwanted songs to delete.)  The dream ended in frustration.


My next dream was far weirder.

I was riding the back seat of an open-air jeep type vehicle with four guys in the front and two more in the back with me. They almost all had guns (very skinny and short ones of varying colors, which they talked about,) and we were driving through a neighborhood to do a drive-by shooting. They weren't aiming for people, but they wanted to scare the residents. They were all very "hard" looking, and talked in a way that said "gang" to me. We went around this neighborhood like three times, each time I faced inward and didn't look at what they were shooting at off the left side. (I was in the far left of the back seat.) When they were satisfied with their shooting we headed for the leaders house. As we approached the house a small squirrelish animal (without a tail) got on my leg and tried to hump it. I grabbed him to remove him but he just grabbed on to my arm and did the same. I told the guy in the back seat about it and he said, "Just let him do his thing." At this the squirrel bit me and latched on again to my leg. I shook him off as we exited the car at the leader’s house. Once we were in I looked down at the clothes I was wearing. I was dressed like a streetwalker, and shortly after, treated like one. At this point in the dream, unlike in the car, I was playing the role. I smacked my gum, I spoke 'gangsta' and used my body (which was rather slim in the dream) to entertain. At one point there was poop on the floor and I had to clean it up before anyone saw. I knew my place in the gang; I was basically dirt.

A large screen came down from the ceiling and they began to play music videos. The walls of the house went away and the area became huge with three different levels for watching a concert. It wasn't like a stadium, but there were a few seats scattered around and outdoor heaters here and there. A band came to the screen/stage and started to set up. I started to make my way as far away from the gang as I could, I ran into my husband on the top level near a heater and stood with him. The youth pastor from our church, Josh, was there and was announcing this as a "Tribes" event. (That's the name of the youth's Wednesday night service.) I looked around and saw Tribes posters. The gang members and a whole bunch of other people scattered around the place.

Then I woke up.

Dreaming about other people

Well, I'm happy to say that most of my dreams were good last night. Yay!

I had three that I can remember.

The first began in a class room. A boy named Lee from my 5th grade class had started a rumor about me. I don't remember what the rumor was, or even if it was mentioned in the dream; it was simply known that he had started one. I was searching for a seat, weighing my options. I sat towards the front in a desk just like the ones in elementary school. Partially through the class I got up and moved to a cluster of friends. Among the friends was my best friend from college: Ramin. He was sitting with 3-4 other people with their desks all pushed up next to each other creating a table. I knew the people, but I can't remember who they were. As soon as our desks were all together an Indian feast was served to us. There were at least 6 dishes served, family style. I picked up each and took two of most things and passed them on. One dish looked like fried firecrackers. It was rolled up like an egg roll but only 1 1/2 long and with colorful tassels poking out one end. Another dish was very large raviolis. There were also dates and raisins that dripped with honey and when I put them on my plate I watched the honey drizzle from the spoon folding itself in a golden ribbon. It was mesmerizing. There was naan bread and other things that I don't know the name of that I've had at the Indian restaurant in town. ...and that was the extent of the dream.

The next dream was simply about my old pastor's wife moving to an older section of town. The section of town she moved to is closer to the church, and to one of her close friends. The house had a pool and she had invited some women over. The only thing that I did in the dream was ponder why she had moved. The reasons I gave (about being closer, and near her friend) are the only ones I came up with.

The last dream was the only disturbing one of the night.

I went to visit my friend Paige. (Which I haven't done in a VERY long time, even though she lives in the same town.) My husband went with me. We were mainly there to see her baby. (This is how long I haven't been to her house... Last time I was there Lily was a baby, now I think she's 5.) In the dream Lily was less than a year old. I was playing with her, taking her hat off and on, off and on. She wanted it on, but was laughing at the game we had devised.  There were happy smiles all around, and then the men left the room and Paige started talking to me about marriage. I don't remember what she said about it, all I know is that I started  listing off friends, in my head, that are in bad marriages. What is interesting is that I listed a couple that aren't in bad marriages. One being a very good friend of mine who never complains about her husband. In the dream  I could see her confession unfold in front of me, like I was there, in her bed room. She explained to me that she had cheated on her husband. It had only been one night  at a party of some sort. I cried as she told me, trying to understand how she could do such a thing. After the thought finished, I was back talking to Paige, and thinking of other bad marriages.

That was the end of the dream.

I don't have any ideas about  what the dreams mean... if anything. But I'll connect with the key players in the dreams and make sure all is well.

:-)

It's hard to know when you dream about other people, if the dream is really about them, or about something they represent in your life, or what.

"Speaking at a Pub"

In last night's dream I was at a pub that had two floors like the "Capital Garage" used to when it was open in down town Sac. The people were listening to someone talking. I interrupted the guy, or maybe he was finished when I got up to speak, but I took the stage and started talking about the end of the world. (You can see the types of things I said at my other blog (allabouttheend.blogspot.com). When I was finished a crowd gathered around me asking questions and saying that they really enjoyed my lecture. 

I made my way up stairs with two guys who worked there.  One of them did a back flip in the loft area, then they left to clean up down stairs.  When they were gone I did a back flip too. (These were like trampoline back-flips, not on the floor, but jumping in the air and landing on your feet.) The guys came back up stairs and I told them I could do it too. They didn't believe me and asked me to prove it. At that point we were in the middle of the floor. I tried to jump but the wooden floor was to squishy at that spot. We moved over a few feet, but it was still too soft. So I walked back over to where I had done the first flip; the ground there was firmer, with just a little give. They had to move a ping-pong table out of the way for them to stand there, but I did my flip. I barely landed on my feet, grazing my butt on the uptake. They were only some-what impressed.

The scene changed to having sex with my husband... which lasted a while... then I got up and went to the bathroom. The small sectioned off room with the toilet in it (which is how it is at my house) was flooded with dirty water from the potty. It was gross. I yelled for my husband... 

...Then woke up.

I know the speaking in public thing was brought on by incidences from the last few days.

At my Thursday bible study my friend Rene was on my case to get back to doing my dresses for a fashion show I'm working on based on the 7 Feasts. (I've been on my own case. It frustrates me that I haven't finished the one project standing in my way.) This show may also lead to a speaking opportunity to "explain" the gowns, which has a lot to do with the eschatology. 

Then on Friday I went to a Bible study at another church. It was my first visit. I had an unusual boldness there and spoke up whenever I had something to add to the teaching. (That is something I don't do.  ...but did.)

And finally yesterday I was at a baby shower and one of the ladies had heard about my "end times" study and she asked me about it. I rambled off some authors she might want to look at and gave her a brief synopsis of my views. She said, "You should teach on this. Have you ever talked to Pastor Scott about it?" I said, "No. The official view of the Pentecostal church is pre-trib, so I really don't think he'd go for it." 

All of these incidences, as well as the dream, are really making me think though, of who I could speak to.  Who would be interested?  Where should I go?  hmmmm.

As for the rest of the dream. I think the flip was from a boost of confidence, but that my confidence doesn't work so well when someone is watching.

The sex part, and the flooded toilet... I'm not sure.

"Demon Fighting 101"

Busy dream night last night.  Not a very good sleep night, might I add.

Before I explain the dreams I'll point out how my yesterday went to note why I was dreaming such crazy stuff.

Almost all of my day yesterday was spent reading a book about the Anti-Christ by Joel Richardson. For about thirty minutes yesterday I watched part of a Prophetic seminar DVD that mentioned encounters with demon possessed people. 

I am also waiting to hear from my friend Paul, and he came up in a conversation I had right before bed. 

And finally last night I had a sexual escapade with my husband.

Given that was my day, these dreams won't seem so weird.

#1 Paul and I were going through backyards to get to his house and got caught by a cop for trespassing. 

(simple enough. I did have a FB conversation with an old mutual friend about backyards without fences, and I did get caught by an animal patrol guy with my dog off-leash a day ago.)

#2 I found a black clutch purse in a public restroom by a parking garage. I spent some time in the restroom washing my hands and drying them. Then I took the purse with me to my apartment. I had my small dog from when I was a kid with me as I went up several flights of stairs and into a small apartment. When we got into the apartment I realized that I hadn't let my dog go to the bathroom, so I opened the door to the balcony and told her to go out there. The balcony was really a room with shelves and a desk and closet, but the floor was rough concrete like a balcony. The minute I put her down I noticed a large husky looking dog at the window peering in. I quickly picked up my dog and made a dash for the door. The demonic husky looking dog leaped into the balcony room and chased us. We barely made it through the door (all slow motion-y) before he caught up with us. I tried to close the door but his paw/hand was blocking it. I got it locked with his hand still there, and then his other hand burst through the wall by the door frame on the other side. (He was more like a werewolf  than a dog) I ran out of my apartment to try to get the manager to come help me. I yelled up and down the stairwell for help, but no one was listening. I finally grabbed a guy and made him come with me.

Then I woke up.

I went back to sleep (It was only 1:00) and dreamed this one...

#3 I was in a house that was kinda 70's in feel. I was being attacked by a ball of fire with a human face. I didn't see the face till the end of the dream. During the dream I asked three different people to fight the 'demon'. I'd say, "through him out the window", and they would, but it would float back in. Finally my husband, who looked like Aaron Eckhart in this dream (the dude who played Harvey Dent/ Two-face in Batman) fought off the demon fire ball and won. The face on the fireball was Aaron Eckhart as well.

(Creepy huh?)

#4 Started as a replay of my sexual escapade with my husband. However, just a while into the foreplay his good friend came over and (for lack of wanting to be graphic), lent some assistance. Directly following a short time of  that my husband and I were leaving. My husband got up and walked away and his friend forced himself on me. My husband came back and pushed him off. His friend morphed into the werewolf creature from my previous dream and I clocked him right in the jaw. His entire jaw detached and went partially down his throat. I asked what happened and he gave me this weird cartoon like grin with no teeth. I said, "Oh, I'm sorry," and started to fix his jaw by pulling it out to it's normal level and hooking wires that went from his teeth to his flesh. His teeth were more like human teeth but in a long dog like snout. The wires reminded me of braces.

And that's the end of my crazy night.

Please God, let tonight's dreams be better. :-)

Rated X

I knew this day would come.  I'm kinda surprised it took this long. :-)

Last night's dream setting was in a rather large hotel room with 70's style wood paneling on one wall, and massive windows on the other two. (The door and a sink area were on the fourth.) Out the window was a walkway, and snow, I think... like we were up in Tahoe or somewhere.

The dream was basically a recap of our escapade last night, before I went to sleep. I have, I believe, one of the best lovers in the world for a husband. We 'work' beautifully together. ;-)

In the aftermath of sex I saw a friend of mine walking down the sidewalk outside the window. Then I heard a knock on the door and got up to answer it.

I'm not sure exactly what happened then, but shortly afterward my friend (who lives near Tahoe) and I were shopping in a thrift store.

I saw one of those cool hand held mixer things and gave it a spin. It was sitting beside a crock-pot full of sauce. I put in some cheese (again with the cheese!) and turned it on... somehow with the lid on, but the mixer inside. The cheese puffed up like it exploded and the lid cracked open. "Oops". The sauce looked like a pot of giant fat cells with red edges. My friend and are were shocked... We looked around and walked away. 

We also strolled through a perfume counter area and nicer clothes (not really thrift store vibe anymore). I don't remember the other things we picked up and looked at.

I'm sure some of you were hoping for more details with the X rated parts, but there are others reading that are mortified that they know that much. If details were important, I'd tell you, but that dream was obviously just me revealing in my moment... There was no extra meaning.

I'm pretty sure I was dreaming about my mountain area friend because I was talking to her last night on facebook, and I drove half way to her house yesterday to a different friend's house for some reuse fun.  You can read about that on her blog if you like...

folkartbycampbelljane.blogspot.com/2010/01/christmas-cards-in-january.html