"Monkey Cheese"

I had a very busy day today. Reuse craft day up at Janet's... Street drama with the drama team... snuck in a little shopping...  then dinner... So I'm just getting around to blogging.

Last night's dream was short and sweet... good thing... cause I'm ready to chill and watch a movie or something.

It must have been a youth group house party or something. I arrived with a hand full of my youth group peers from 1992. As I looked around the host's house (an older heavyset woman) I was filled with joy. The decor reminded me of my parent's 80's house. I relished the warmth that the memory brought me.

We sat around the coffee table and ate nachos. I picked up a chip loaded with cheese and other goodness. The cheese lifted like it does on hot pizza. I bit into the chip, but it wouldn't break. I had to shove the whole thing in. A girl to my left (Aubrey) explained to me that 'monkey cheese' was hard to break.

I sat back on the couch and looked out the window behind me. Out the window was a Raley's grocery store and the parking lot. I saw a boy I recognized walk by. I pointed, looked closer and said, "That's Gary Lawson, my last real boyfriend." (What I guess I meant by that was that he was the last guy I dated before my daughter's bio dad.)

I had another short dream about someone wanting to buy my purse (which would be cool, cause I don't want it. It's too big for me.) 

... and that's all.

So, what the heck is monkey cheese? Maybe I just want cheese. I haven't had it lately due to the fast.

I saw a few pictures from my friends on facebook of flooding in their areas. Pretty soon we'll be worrying about our own disaster relief efforts and Haiti will be an after thought.

You have to go down to get up.

The dream's setting is a magnificent hotel building. There is a massive round foyer, grand curved stairways on both sides, white marble with black accent marble tiles; it's just grand.

The dream starts down a hallway where I'm looking for my room along with dozens of other women all there for an event. I know many of them. As I'm realizing that my room is on the next level up, I hear a woman wish out loud for a cappuccino. "I got a cappuccino maker for Christmas. It's in my room," I say. (It's true, I did get one for Christmas.) I continue up the stairs only to find that there is no entry to the hallway up there. I look over the edge to the grand entry room below and ask the woman attendant there how do I get to the hallway. She says, "You have to come down to get to the stairs that go up." I think that's pretty silly, but I come down anyway. When I get down I go into a lounge area. There are snooty women sitting around drinking and talking, all wearing formals.  I'm wearing a formal now too. I see some old classmates from high school and they are wearing formals as well. (All women by the way.) A lady comes in to tell us that they set up the event in the wrong room, and that she will try to get them to carry all the stuff over here where it's supposed to be. So we are told to wait patiently. A few friends and I walk around looking at the space. There is a room being prepared for a new member. I know the girl that the room is being prepared for, so I watch with excitement. The walls are mirrored and grand and there is a man stamping a small black brick pattern on some of the walls. I suggest he put some color splashes under the black for a nice effect. He tries red, and it looks great. I accidentally smudge a brick, and he fixes it as I move away. We see that she also gets a cool circular entryway room that leads to the foyer. It is mirrored as well. As we mosey back into the lounge area the same lady comes back and says, "The dinner is ready to be plated.  We will just all move over to the other room. Don't worry, I'll make sure you girls are in the court." (Meaning the Homecoming court.) We follow her out.

You don't always get to go straight to your room. And sometimes you have to go down to get up. Sometimes things aren't working like they should. Sometimes when you're being helpful, you mess something up at the same time. You can be excited for other people's blessings. And... even if the party starts before you get there, you may still hold a place of honor.

I'm sure I could look into the detail's symbolism too, but it's actually not raining right now, and my dog is staring at me like, "Please take me for a walk." We haven't been able to walk for nearly a week because of the rain. He walks on the treadmill, but it's just not the same.

Oh, I thought you might mike to see the mural I did on Tuesday... (sorry for the fuzziness.)

Church fires and Dachshunds, what?

I feel a bit weird telling you that yet again, there was a potty in my dream.  I must really need to unload some waste. ;)

 The dream's setting was church. I was in some type of women's group; there were women from my present church and the church we went to before. We were at a long table doing some sort of craft.  I got up to use the restroom. Went in, sat down, stayed there. People started knocking on the door (it was a small stall/room with sink included). I could hear and see (like looking down on the situation) the people outside on the stall. There was a group of guys from a rock band along with various other people. My husband came to the door angrily and ripped down the door/wall. I was pissed. I stood up pant-less and grabbed a hand towel to try and cover myself.  I walked out yelling at him, and two rock band guys went in. I looked around for my things and realized they were in the bathroom. I knocked and asked them to hand me my things.  The door cracked (yes, magically, it was back) and they threw out my stuff. I sat next to a dying fire that the other musicians were sitting around as I gathered my stuff. At one point I threw something (can't remember now what it was, but it was significant) into the fire and the flames shot up to bonfire status. The band who was waiting for the fire to die before they could leave, was now stuck there longer. I left, but I couldn't find my keys.

In the parking lot I saw my pastor and asked if he would help me. I gave him three options. "You can take me home, or you can call my peeps to come get me, or you can take me to your house and have them pick me up there," I said. He told me to get in, that he'd take me to his house for them to come there. 

As I rounded the small SUV there was another Pastor Scott, but with long, straight, shoulder length hair.  I looked over the car, and noticed they both had long hair. Then the first P. Scott took off the hair like a wig, and said, "That's my twin brother."

The long haired brother and I got in the back utility area where there were two brown Dachshund puppies. P. Scott took off, and the back utility door was still open. A wind tunnel was being created, and as we got on the on-ramp to the freeway, one puppy fell out. I reached my front half out and grabbed him and saved him. The P. Scott twin tried to get the door closed as I held the puppies. 

OK, obviously this one was not a positive dream. Emotions went from normal and happy to frustrated to pissed to 'oh no, oops' to confused to scared again.

The events of my 'real' last night may say a little something. I dropped my daughter off at church around 7:00 for her youth group that she wanted to attend. I did not stay even though there was a prayer meeting for the adults. I went to a Career Artists meeting instead. When I arrived to pick her up at 9:15 Pastor Scott was coming out, and the door was locked. He unlocked it for me and I went in to find my daughter in the back youth room. When we got home, I broke down and had a piece of my daughter's birthday cake even though I'm fasting from animal products right now. (The cake has eggs and cream.) And yes, I had another piece this morning. I suck when it comes to willpower. So, going to church may have helped me with those temptations, where, obviously, the CA meeting did not. (Though, I'd like to point out that I had nothing while at the meeting. ;-) )  I also talked with my husband on the phone about a parenting debate we're having over who my daughter can date now that she's 16.

As I look at my dreams, and me constantly in the bathroom in them, I wonder if it has to do with my struggle with the issues that surround my weight, or with my parenting, or with my time management. 

My husband getting impatient with me in last night's dream could indicate that at least in that dream that it was about the parenting. He's very frustrated that I haven't budged on my stance about my daughter dating who ever she chooses. (If you are a parent, you know that separation in the ranks causes multiple problems. The man feels disrespected; the woman feels like another child in the house... There's just an unpleasantness to all conversations or situations surrounding the topic.)

Back to the dream....  I'm pissed and exposed at church but now really only with this band who is waiting on a fire to die. (I should mention that my husband plays bass in the church band... but he wasn't there in that part of the dream). I imagine that the fire was blazing during the service, (fire not always a bad thing in regards to church... because of the symbolism of a 'holy fire' - passion.) I wish I could remember what I threw in the fire. It was long, like a flowing thick ribbon, or cloth, or possibly liquid.??? 

Anyway, I'm not sure about the Pastor Scott twin with long hair. I guess maybe it was something that 'put him into the band too' (the band members had long hair). 

I have a thing about puppies in my dreams. Not big dogs, but little puppies (and sometimes kittens). I am always saving them. Sometimes from waves in the ocean, or on cliffs, or from abandoned buildings, and this time from falling out of open moving vehicles. I'm not exactly sure, but I think it may have something to do with young people.  I am involved with the youth at church a little, and I never dreamed of the puppies until I got started with youth. Who knows. But it's interesting that Pastor Scott was driving and that the thing that made the puppy fall was a wind tunnel, and that it was out the back door on an on-ramp.  The Spirit of God is called "a mighty rushing wind".   The fast that I'm on is one version of a church wide 21 day fast that we are doing.  Fasts, in general, take you deeper in your spiritual walk. They can be very powerful, and of course, that's what we're hoping for. Our church (with P. Scott 'driving', but also with us in the work 'utility trunk') is a young church (3 years I think) that just now got our own building. In a way, this fast is our "on ramp" to the freeway of actually going, doing, and being a mission based church. (We have always had that as a focus, but it wasn't as possible without a building.)

Those are just some of my thoughts. Do you have any?

Procrastination, and other bad choices

Today is my daughter's 16th Birthday!

Today is also very stormy here, The electricity has already gone off once for 5 minutes.    

 I was hoping to be able to post a picture of the mural I did yesterday, but my husband must have my camera with him.

Last night's dream was very odd.
I was at a house with stairs at the entry, with my mom, sister, and 2 boarders. One was a boy, around the age of 8 who happened to be African American, and the other was a college class mate of mine who is Korean.  (The only significant thing in my past that involves the classmate is that we competed for our first job out of school, and she won.)  
In the dream my family was waiting on my dad to get home from work before we went somewhere.  The little boy kept crossing my path, and I kept asking him if he had had any thing to eat yet.  Gaonou (my class mate) asked me if I wanted to go play tennis. I said yes, and went to get my socks and shoes, etc.  I passed the boy again, and then opened a chest to get socks out of it. I saw an old Judy Garland movie on in the other room where my sister and mom were sitting, so I went in and sat down.  Gaonou called to me again, and I remembered that I was supposed to be getting my shoes on.  As I got to the door my dad came home.  We all got ready to leave and I asked if I should let Knuckles (the dog) stay inside while we were gone.  I opened the door to the back yard and there were three dogs. I went ahead and let Knuckle's in anyway (while in my head saying, "Oh, he has friends to play with."). As soon as he got in, he jumped up onto the full dining table and began to heave. Plus, this wasn't my dog, he was a tall, skinny, Golden Retriever/ Afghan type mix. I ran at him yelling, "Get down!"  It had obviously been a bad idea to let him in.


So that's it... I have no idea what it meant, if anything.


Knuckles has a play mate that just walked in... so "Bye."

 

Entertainment

I imagine this will be normal posting time. I just got home from taking the kids to school. I highly doubt I'll be up early enough to write and get them ready very often.
 I had three dreams again last night (that I remember).
The first was simply me going to spend the night at my high school BF's house. Her dad who is now passed away (lung cancer) was outside sweeping the walk way. I walked on the flower bed to avoid him, but then tracked dirt on the area closest to the door. He gave me a disappointed look, and that was the end of that dream.
Before I tell you my next dream, it's important to know that I went to see the movie "The Book of Eli" yesterday.  It's important because very often the entertainment you put into your head will show up in your dreams. That's one reason I never watch horror movies. If you want your dreams to be truly untainted, you'd have to go without movies, TV, video games, etc. The good news is, even with tainted dreams there are still messages to be discovered.
So, knowing that I went to see "Eli" I'm OK with what happens in this dream.
I'm walking down a street in a bad part of town with my son. I look into a shop that belongs to my friends Gregory and Kookye. (The shop reminds me of the shop in the movie.) (They really did own a consignment store at one point, so that makes sense. Plus Kookye was the last person I got an email from yesterday, so she was on my mind.)  I went on ahead down the street, but my son wanted to stay and play with their daughter (really they have a son). He stayed and I walked on.  Later, I walked back to their shop and it was in much better condition and everything was neatly put away. In a back room my friend Megan (also Kookye's friend) was wrapping presents with other ladies. Her husband Curt came up to me and started showing me his "LUSH" products. I explained to him that I had some LUSH stuff at home. I use their Godiva shampoo. So he offered me a few bath bombs for free. Then one of the ladies wrapping took me to another back room with a Christmas tree in it and toys under the tree. She offered me a plush Tigger for my son. I thought it would be bad to break up the set (they had Pooh and Eeyore and all the rest), but she insisted and I took him.
Then I asked where the restroom was (a very common theme for me obviously). The potty was in a long hallway; girls on one end, boys on the other, but completely open. As I sat there a small Asian man came up to me from down the hall. I got very mad at him for invading my privacy, so I got up and started a knife fight. Many more men and boys joined the fight and by now I was on their end of the hall. The boys were all chubby. I asked, "Do you wanna know what fat looks like?" then I cut (with my small pocket knife) each one of them in their bare bellies (little 3-5" cuts, but deep enough to see the layer of fat).
Like I said, I'm OK with this, cause I know the slashing of bodies came from the movie yesterday. But I find it interesting that they were chubby and that my one memorable line had to do with fat.
Both my son and I are about 30 pounds overweight and can't seem to motivate ourselves to loose the weight.

My third dream was a camping trip with old high school friends and my parents. (My dad pastored the youth during my childhood, so that's not a strange scenario.) People I remember in the dream were Amy, Jodie, Christie, and my BF Vanessa. Near the beginning of the dream the girls were are crowded around a dimly lit mirror getting ready. We were leaving that day. The camp was beach side, and some how we went, with our suitcases and sleeping bags, out onto floating  (10' in diameter) burlap sand bags. My mom tipped them over looking for a flatter side for us to walk on, but they all sank. So we were swimming with suitcases and sleeping bags trying to pull up the floaties. Finally we swam to next section of floating structures which is a giant round white with a red bulls-eye inflatable. There are people sitting on edge and walking on top, we bounce onto the inflatable. I start to wonder if people will fall, so we stop bouncing and walk across. We get in the car (my Durango) and head off.  On the road the water comes right up to the asphalt.  My mom is driving and she keeps veering into the water. I point it out to her, as well as pointing out the harbor in the distance, and a paradise looking place where two girls are swimming with swans and weeping willows are planted in the water. I want to go there, but we have to get everyone home. We start to discuss who to take home first according to the order of their houses. Vanessa lives closest to me, Amy lives furthest, etc.

I'm not going to take any time time today looking deeper cause I have to go paint at my friend Kim's house. Maybe you can try and decode something for me. :-)

Beauty Shop

(This is getting published much later today because I got called away from the computer this morning.)

I find it interesting that as I opened my home page a second ago, I noticed my friend's blog has a Beauty Shop theme this morning too. She is a folk painter and has started a series (I just discovered) on "Beauty Shop Girls". (You can check it out at folkartbycampbelljane.blogspot.com )

Well, my main dream last night started in a St. John beauty shop. "No such thing," you say? True, there's not, but it all makes sense when you know my background.  I used to work at the St. John design house before I got married almost 11 years ago. So, often, when I dream of 'work' I dream of St. John. I am currently working on some designs of my own, and one of my main dilemmas is finding models. 

So... In my dream I went to this "Beauty Shop" with my one model-esk friend. I sat in the waiting room, waiting for her to get dolled up for the show. Then my old boss from St. John pulled me in the salon room and asked if she could do my hair. The hair-do was far from a St. John type style. She inserted numerous bright colored extensions (from hot pink to red to purple), and swept up each real strand of hair into an up-do. By the time she was finished my whole head was purple, and run-way worthy. She was so pleased with it she decided I could model in the show. She walked off to do something and her assistant came over to me and asked who my favorite jewelry designer was. She explained that I could pick whom ever I wanted, and that I would wear their stuff in the show. She side noted it with, "You'll get to keep it all, so choose wisely, but it can't be loud, it has to go with the clothes." (Now that's interesting seeing that I'm sitting there with 'loud' purple hair, and given that St. John makes their own jewelry.) But I chose Roberto Cavalli. Maria (my boss) went off to order jewelry and Marie Grey (the big boss) came over and told me to sit down in a dental looking chair to get my makeup done. I asked if I could use the restroom first, and I walked out. Passing the waiting room, my friend Cheryl, walked up to me and asked if I could get her some clear nail polish. I told her I was going to pee, and she could get it herself, as I pointed out a small and large bottle of clear sparkly nail polish. I left the building in search of a restroom, out onto a cobblestone street. An outdoor restaurant was my first encounter.  The matradee pointed me past the restaurant to an alley in the square. I must have peed and come back out (don't remember that part) but as I came out I was met by my husband and four other friends. We were all walking down the cobblestone street in the direction of an amusement park. The roller-coasters towered in front of us, and my husband and I discussed which ones we would ride. Just then a man zoomed over our heads riding a scooter on top of a zip-line. I pointed out the zip-line to my husband and asked if he wanted to try it. Another rider zipped by. We continued to walk and I had an internal conversation with myself about the mechanics of the ride. I was terrified, but thrilled at the same time at the idea of riding this dangerous thing.

Well, shall we give an interpretation a go?

OK. We'll start with assuming this has something to do with work. It could be about the past, or it could be about my present solo endeavor. The emotion in the dream was all positive, so that's good. There was a message about being 'good enough', in the part where I was asked to be in the show. There was also a promise to keep jewelry worth lots of money. 

References to bathroom behavior usually has to do with getting rid of waste. (When it's poop, it's obviously yuckier crap you're working through), but in this case it was just pee and that part of the dream didn't even really happen (that I remember). (One exception to this 'bathroom' rule is that sometimes when you dream of peeing, it's your body telling you to "Wake up... You have to pee." But if you actually get through the pee or poo in your dream, then there's symbolism to it.) 

We notice that when I was done getting rid of the waste, I came out to a new story. I didn't go back to the salon, I went to an amusement park and was going to ride on a terrifying but thrilling ride with my husband.

You may have also noticed that this is the second dream with cobblestone streets this week. What's that about? From my life, it reminds me of Italy (where I lived for three years during adolescence). In a general way, it just speaks of an old world vibe to me. It's nothing new.  (Maybe speaking of the story as old, or of the circumstances as nothing new).

Now, if we take this as a "past" story, we could correctly recall that I left my job at St. John to marry my husband that lived up here in Sacramento. That could tell the whole story right there.

But why would I dream about that? 

It's more likely that I would dream about the present or near future. (That's what we normally do, unless we have baggage from our past that is still be sifted through.) I could make the same conclusion though, that I have set aside my 'work' (I haven't touched my dress form since November), to embark on a terrifying but thrilling ride with my husband. That rings true because we are about to start counseling over our differences in parenting. (You can only go so long on two separate pages, before the negative effects show up in your kids.) 

I'd like to assume that I'm still invited to "be in the show" and that I'll still get to keep the valuable "jewelry", but who knows, that could all be "pee".  

I'll be praying for some clarity on this one. Perhaps I'll dream again about something that will clear it up for me. Or, as is often the case, the fuzzy parts will be cleared up in day to day life, or in my quiet time.

Happy dreaming everyone.

My ex who lived in Tex(as)

I'm almost embarrassed that this happened already. Two things really. Number one that I dreamed of my ex, and two, that I was over confident that I would remember it all.  I woke up in the middle on the night with the dream very fresh, and talked myself out of writing it down, cause I was sure I'd remember it.  But, as luck would have it, I woke up with only a few details of that dream and nothing from any that might have followed.

All I can remember is that we were swimming in a lake. (I think we even had life vests). At the beginning of the dream we were in a house with stairs and his wife was there.  We all talked. Then I took him away. The swimming was part of something with my extended family, namely my Dad and his parents. Later in the dream I was in a room at my grandparent's house with my husband. My best two high school girlfriends came to get me. I began to pack a suitcase. But somehow ended up hiding in another room in a pile of clothes/blankets on the side of a bed, from my dad, (who found me).


In deciphering any of this, it may be helpful to know that my dad is a preacher, and so is his Dad (Pawpaw). I attribute our legacy of faith more to my grandmother though.  But either way you look at it, I have come to always assume a spiritual meaning when I'm at my grandparent's house in dreams. In every dream of their house it is a mansion; sometimes with a business going on inside, and other times with many bedrooms for guests. I'd like to conclude that the guests of their house have become a part of their legacy. But that's just a desire of mine, I'm not sure if it's right.  
Anyway, the part about my two high school friends, I imagine, is just me looking forward to our 'girl's weekend' coming up in March. They both live in other states, so it is very rare that I see them, outside of Facebook. :-)
Hiding in the blankets on the side of the bed instantly reminds me of how I wake up many mornings. You see, my dog Knuckles sleeps in blankets right beside my bed and often whines for me to join him.  Which, being the pushover that I am, I often do.  So we can assume that I was hiding in a "dog's" bed from my father (who often represents my view of my heavenly father... and we all know you can't hide from Him).
I'd like to say that interactions with my ex during the dream were purely innocent, but often in my dreams there is still a spark between us.  It is encouraging though, to know that often what may seem to have sexual undertones (or overtones) in dreams really has nothing to do with sex.  It's often just symbolic of intimacy in talking, or in a common interest. In many of my dreams that involve him, our daughter is present, but in this one she wasn't. However, I'd like to point out that his wife was there, and had no problem with me taking him.  That in itself says that this was probably an innocent interaction. 


I know we didn't make a complete interpretation, but completion is not always necessary. (Plus I don't have all the other bits and pieces.) I think, for me today, it's enough to know that even in my subconscious I honor his wife, and that if I hide, God sees me anyway. 
I also wanted to point out that I don't believe this dream was divine in nature. There are self dreams and God dreams, and some that mix both. Even though this dream had God elements, I don't think it was from Him. I think it was just my own brain working out some issues. 
When I have "God dreams" they are typically very vivid in color and clear. Those are the ones to pay attention to! That's not to say that self dreams can't be helpful. They often reveal a lot about the issues you are struggling with, or excited over, or even the ones you are avoiding.


My last comment is to my 'comments'
Thank you all for leaving them. 
1. As for remembering dreams, pray or self talk to yourself that you will remember, that often works.
2. Yes, personal symbolism is the key... which leads me to...
3. Dream dictionaries can be helpful, but hardly dependable, because symbolism is so very personal. (personal culture, religion, family dynamics, fears, etc. all taint words for us, so that they don't mean the same to each person.)  Unless an interpreter is listening to God (or to a demon in many cases) their interpretation will be based on their own symbolism, or will be very general. Demonic interpretation may have elements of truth, but it will not be with your benefit in mind. Most profitable new-age dream interpreters have tapped in to evil spirits.  With that said, no, I don't think I will be using the suggested web site. (Maybe I will, to prove my generalization point at some time.)  The best way to interpret dreams is to know yourself and what things mean to you. (Of course, I'd add prayer too.)