My Son's Principal

In the past two nights I have had dreams involving my son's principal - Mr. Santin. (The kids often refer to him as Mr. Satan, but he is a good guy, just firm.) I'm having a hard time figuring the dreams out... so I thought I'd put them out there and see if writing helps, or if perhaps any of you have any insight.

Yesterday's dream was of me picking up around the living room in my night shirt while Mr. Santin was working on my yard. My son was with me in the living room and when I noticed Mr. Santin outside I said to my son, "Mr. Santin is outside. Should I go talk to him? Do you think I'll be OK in just this shirt?" He didn't answer but I went ahead and walked to the sliding glass door and opened it. (The house we were in was like one that I lived in when I was a teenager mixed with my great Granny's house.) I stood in the door way and Mr. Santin came over to me. He pointed at a puddle on the cement block outside the door. "You've got some flooding," he said. I looked down and just past the cement stoop was a river that flowed through my back yard. It was not a shock to me. I actually was very happy to see the river because it was clear as crystal. In my memory I saw the river as murky and yellowy-brown, but just then it was beautiful. I could see all the way to the floor of the river; there were stones and plants lining the different levels of the river's floor. I just stood there and marveled at it, and that was the end of the dream.

In last night's dream I was going to school. I walked through a neighborhood that I have been in before in my dream world, but not in real life. (It most resembles the town of Williamston NC where I lived when I was 8, but it also has a Boston vibe.) Anyway, once I got to school I lined up with the rest of the kids on a black top next to a field. Mr. Santin and a lady teacher came out to take us to class. I started walking with the other kids but then Mr. Santin stopped me with a mean look and asked, "where are you going?" I pointed forward and he said, "Don't you know the rules? It's your turn to pick up trash." I explained how I had always been dropped off on the other side of school where the cars go until today, and it was my first time in the line. The rest of the class and Mr. Santin walked away and left me out on the field to pick up trash. I knew that I was only responsible for my class's trash which was right around where we had been standing (homework wadded up, food wrappers and scraps of food), but I went ahead and took all the time I wanted picking up all the trash around the black top and the field. When I finally wanted to stop I walked to the teacher's lounge where I knew I was supposed to get a rolling stand and some art supplies. The stand was taller than me, like the ones that TVs used to sit on top of so that the whole class could see. (When I was in elementary school the TV was on a rolling stand like that and it went from class to class because there was only one TV for everyone to share.) As I was getting the stand already loaded with the supplies I needed, I looked in a storage closet and found all kinds of 'Ramona and Beezus' tapes and books. (I never read those when I was little, but in my dream I was very excited to find them, like they had been my favorite.) They were pink and there were so many that when I stacked them on the rolling stand they kept falling off. The dream ended with me picking up the falling books over and over.

So... a meaning...
Let's break it down.
In both dreams I'm "picking up". #1 in my own living room, #2 on a school campus. Both dreams have Mr. Santin pointing out a problem to me: #1 the flooding, #2 my turn to pick up trash.

Dream #1's other things that could be symbolic: (I'll put *'s by things that seemed important)
**Me in my night shirt, and well aware of my lower half being exposed.
**Mr. Santin (as my son's principle)
*flooding
***river ... murky and then clear
*back yard: not something that everyone sees... personal.

Dream #2's other things that could be symbolic:
childhood neighborhood
*school (elementary at that)
*being new to the line (new to the rules)
**trash (school kid trash)
***taking my time... and doing more than I was supposed to... to stall.
*rolling stand/cart (again from elementary school memories)
storage closet (another thing that not everyone sees)
***tapes and books from childhood (good childhood memories, though not accurate), that I was excited to share.
overflow (unable to keep everything on the cart)

Both dreams had a climax. #1 seeing the clear river. #2 wanting to share the books and tapes.
The climax over-rode everything in the dream up until that point, and both dreams ended on the high note.
In dream #1 I had been living with a murky river in my back yard for who knows how long, but somehow going out 'exposed' to see my son's principle allowed the water to be clear. The problem of flooding was a non issue.
(I sure hope this doesn't have to do with the house I just turned down near my son's possible new school because it had some flooding issues and a bad pool.)(Maybe it's about his grades, or some principle about my son that will make things clear.)

Dream #2 seems to focus on me taking my time, even doing things I'm not supposed to be doing, and how ultimately it led to finding a treasure that I could share. (I'd like to think thats a good sign for the procrastination I've been having all week, but I'm pretty sure that's just wishful thinking.)(Perhaps it's about dealing with my son's school {new or old} looking at the 'trash', and at the tresures involved.)

Anybody have any ideas?

Worries, and Volunteering.

Last night I was up and down with the dogs all night. (Once again, I gave them some people food that didn't agree with their stomaches.) But the good part of that is that I was able to catch multiple dreams. The first I caught was at around 12:00.
I was with my friend Mitzie in a back yard (mine supposedly)of a New York town house. Bible study had just ended and we were talking about the painting I just finished for her. (A painting I really did just finish yesterday.) As we talked we got fruit off of a tree. The discussion was about things she wanted to add to the painting. She wanted to add some poppies on a hill in the background. I was a little flustered that I was no longer "done" with the painting. When we finally looked at the clock it said 3:00AM. We mentioned that she had stayed for four hours since study time. Then, as we were walking to the front door we noticed it was open. "That's not good." I was shocked and had a fleeting thought that a burglar had gotten in my house, but when I looked out the door I noticed my dad sitting on the brick stair railing that butted up against the porch. I could see people and ambulances and other 3:00AM type sights on the streets of New York around my house. My dad was looking forlorn watching and waiting. I asked what he was doing. He said, "Savannah's not home yet." (That's my 18 year old daughter.) I knew what that meant. When she did get home she would be in DEEP trouble, and her car would be taken away. The rest of the dream was just standing there looking, waiting, and thinking about where she could be. Was she in danger? Was she out with her boyfriend? hmmm.

There were two other dreams between then and morning, but all I remember from them are scattered images and a song, so I'll skip ahead to the one I had just before waking up at 6:00.

I was volunteering at a woman's shelter (probably thinking of a book I'm reading called House of Hope). I had walked through the building and then around the block. When I came around to the back door I noticed a large pile of feminine products. Someone had dropped off a donation of pads, razors, tampons, aspirin, q-tips, etc. I started gathering them into my arms, and taking them inside. A woman told me where there was a bathroom that I could stash them in. It took me a few trips but the moment I was done I was ushered into a multipurpose room with cork boards along the wall covered in construction paper with rick-rack edges ala-elementary school style. Some had things pinned to them, others were empty. There were plastic and metal chairs around the room and people started to filter inside. The pastor from my church told me to grab some things off the wall and put them away. I went to the wall and found injection viles and other types of medical looking paraphernalia. I was taking them down while Pastor Scott was having the women sit in chairs. I took the stuff outside where I assumed there would be someone to pick them up, or perhaps I was waiting for another donation. I'm not sure, but there was a litter of puppies outside that needed my care. So I started loving on them. Then I woke up.

The first dream is pretty obviously about two things I'm worried about. I want to be done with Mitzie's painting, as it has been on my to-do list for a year now. And I'm worried about my daughter getting into any furthur trouble because my husband has said the next thing to be taken away will be her car.
The second dream no doubt centers around my book. I've mentioned before that puppies in my dreams usually refer to youth. I tend to work with youth more so than with women my own age or older.

The River to Heaven

Before bed my daughter showed us a YouTube testimony of the man who spoke at the event she was at last night. He shared of his near death/actual death experience in which he was in a "river" on the way to hell. When he came back to life he was a changed man and has been prechin' about it ever since.
With that in my mind, and with various other people from my morning at church swirling around in my head, this is the dream I had:

I was in a kitchen with several people from church, and my mom. Jada (a little girl at my church)was running around the kitchen island and I was brushing the crumbs from the party onto the floor so that I could sweep them up. After I swept the kitchen (around people's feet) I took Jada and her brothers down stairs where the laundry room was. Through a window we could see a huge tidal wave coming. I told the kids that we should get back up stairs to their mommy quick! We all ran up the stairs and just as we were coming through the door at the top of the stairs, the wave hit. Instantly we were all gone, no pain, no turmoil of the wave, nothing, just all of a sudden floating down this vast river. There was water as far as I could see on either side of me. I couldn't see anyone else and I wondered if I was dead, or just in the sea after the wave. Then a light came over the horizon in front of me and flooded my vision with it's reflection on the water's surface. I was overcome with the biggest smile of my life. Then I saw a rope stretched across the expanse of the sea with square flags every few feet that had pictures of Disney princesses on them. I saw Belle on a flag that also had my name written on it. It said "Ms. Mikie Spencer" right above the bust of Belle in her yellow ball gown. (Belle is "my" princess. She is the one I look most like, and was a nickname that my ex had for me.) I passed directly under the flag of Belle and on down the river/sea. Then there was another rope with the same flags across it... and in the distance, another, and another. I had no control over the pattern that I was floating in and I was going faster and faster down the river, but I always passed directly under the Belle flag with my name on it. I got all giddy thinking about how perfect the aim of my floating was. I knew that God was guiding me. I also knew that this was the river to Heaven and that each princess picture represented another person. I could never see the end of the water to either side, and the flags were every couple of feet all the way across the water.
I woke up briefly and rolled over.
When I fell back asleep my dream had changed and I was going around asking people I knew who their favorite princess was. I was looking back in my memory to remember if I saw that princess on the rope or not.

I know there are not as many Disney princesses as there are girls going to Heaven, (in my second dream two people answered "Hermione" when I asked them who their princess was,) but this is dream language, not reality. It's obvious to me that my mind needed to think of princesses and that's all it had to pull from. They needed to be personal, and I can't think of one woman I know who doesn't have a "personal" princess. I know my daughter's princess is Sleeping Beauty. I have two friends who claim Snow White. Who do you claim?

The dream was very satisfying. The happiness (both with my smile and my giddiness) was overwhelming, but peaceful at the same time. I love dreams like that!

BFF in Class, and Katie Perry Land

I enjoyed last night's dream. It was one of those where you feel like you're really with the person, and then it turned into one of those that was like Disneyland. So all in all a great sleep.

The beginning was in a class room setting... this time with tables, not desks. I was near the front of the room and to the right. I had to change seats for some reason. As the class was filing in and the (female) teacher was talking about something, I got up and went to a room across our room to the left. I didn't walk through a hall, just through a door into the next classroom. In there was my very best friend from elementary and high-school, Vanessa. (I will be visiting her in just a couple of weeks, so she has been on my mind.) She had a small file box (note card size) in her hand and was thumbing through it. I walked over to her near the far left back of the room by a counter top. She presented the purple file box. After she opened it, she began reading off a little questionnaire/game that she had made with Trivia questions about her brother Nathan. Then she showed me other sections that included a play list of all our favorite songs from back in the day, and images from our past, movies, etc. It was an amazing compilation she had put together. I even commented that I had made a play list that wasn't half as good. She had dug deep into "b-sides" so-to-speak, not just taken the obvious songs. I was very happy to be able to reminisce with her. Then the teacher for her class came in and noticed me in that back. She gave me a bad look because I wasn't supposed to be in there, so I walked back across the room and into my class.

The dream changed and I was on a ride at an amusement park. The ride was just like the old ride at Disney land called "Rocket Rods". (The one that took over the monorail track back in the 90's.) Instead of being rockets the ride was convertible cars that looked like rounded cartoon 50's cars. They were covered with rainbow, star, cloud, and candy stickers. The car ahead of me was baby blue and held two middle aged men who were enjoying the ride very much. The music that played was Katie Perry's "Firework". (I heard the song yesterday when I was out with my niece. It was playing in a pale lemon yellow convertible that was driving in front of us.) The park around the ride looked like candy land. (Very Katie Perry.)

It was a very fun dream, despite the bad looks from the teacher.
I'm wondering if I should make a little file box of memories for my visit with Vanessa... or perhaps she will. :-)

Earthquake in Class

I had multiple dreams last night, but one stands out from the rest.

The one I want to talk about is one about an earthquake.

I was in a Science class. It was a large class, much bigger than a normal high school room, and it was part of a house. The teacher was a man and we were all at our lab tables. (This is probably because of my daughter talking about her new chemistry teacher yesterday.) There was a TV screen in the front of the room playing a film silently. The earth started to rumble and at first I thought it may have been a bulldozer or something outside shaking the foundation, but soon I realized it was a massive earthquake. The quake lasted for 5 minutes or so. Students started moving around looking for where they should stand, squat, or whatever. I went to the door frame before any one else. The teacher was not helpful and played it off as no big deal. There was no damage done to the class; it was simply a rolling shake that felt like vibrations under your feet. The walls trembled, but nothing fell. I looked up at the screen where I saw that our film had switched over to the news, and though still silent, it showed a map that clearly showed San Fransisco and other parts of California away from the main land. There was a crack that ran down the side of California. I imagined the land sinking into the ocean, though the screen did not show that. I just kept looking at the map, and feeling the rumble, wondering how long it would last, and how much of California would be gone.

That was the end.

Yesterday on my walk I noticed that some cracks in the asphalt trail that I walk on had deepened. I hadn't been on that trail for a while. Since then we have had a small earthquake in a town about an hour south. The cracks have always been on parts of the trail... but I could swear that they grew over the weeks. I hadn't thought any further about it even a few minutes after I saw them on the walk. But in my mind of biblical prophecy I know that greater earthquakes are coming, so my dreaming mind must have latched on to that thought and played it out in a story. Who knows how accurate my map will be... but I was thankful that there was no damage in my classroom.

If we look at it metaphorically... My foundations are being shaken, but my learning is not injured, nor is my person, and I am first to seek safety.
:-)

Cleaning

I had two dreams last night... both somewhat disturbing.

One involved an older lady friend of mine, and one involved one of my Swell Sister friends.
The first took place in a gymnasium that had been used for an event. It was full of people the same race as my friend and all men if I remember correctly. They were clearing out of the room and my friend and I were left to clean their mess. (This is probably because we really have been cleaning a man's house this past week who's wife died a couple years ago.) In the dream we had large push brooms and were just sweeping piles of dust and trash. One man said something to my friend and she started crying. I heard the gist of the message and began to weep for her. It was about her husband cheating on her.

The second dream took place in a large warehouse type space full of arts and crafts equipment. My friend and I were all alone in there. It was our space, but it was a shop and class area too. We were cleaning up the pottery area. There were large metal shelves full of bisque-wear. A large industrial sink, and a counter top full of glazes and already painted but not fired bowls etc. The colors were vibrant and looked very tattoo-esk. The paint was still in it's chalky faze, and there was even painting on the floor. On the far side of the room were long tables set up for classes and some book shelves. It looked like an elementary school art room. The area we were standing in looked very warehouse-y though. Both my friend and I were picking things up and putting things where they belonged. I got side tracked with the paintings and how I could still move the 'chalk' around. My friend called me over. I was in a blanket. I think she had a blanket wrapped around her as well. (This is reminiscent of a photo shoot we did last month. Some of the pictures she took of me, I was in a blanket.) At one part in the dream I was naked standing there talking, but then a group of ladies came in the front door. They thought the store was open and wanted to do a project. My friend was upset that they had made it in the door... like the door was supposed to be locked. We both had glaring looks on our faces, and then I woke up.

No time to really ponder things this morning as I am off to help the first friend clean again today.

Questioning Places

Last night's dream started in a palace type hotel room in the middle east. I was there with my sister and my grandma. I went down without them to the dining room which was also grand. I sat down at a table full of Arab men. The parade of food started. Tons of tea as well. One man left and his place sat empty for a while. I invited the tea server to sit down with us. The other men at the table gave me a look of disapproval, but the server stayed. One of the men to my right asked me why I had chosen to move to that part of the world. My brain raced with reasons, including witnessing, but I only spoke of my long time dream of coming to Morocco and Jordan and Israel. (All of which I visited this past year.) I spoke of my love of the cuisine and the decor.
Then the meal was over and a few Arab women took my family and I on a walk on a country road. It was a long trek, like we were going far out of town to get away. The dirt road ran beside crops and carts (very reminiscent of the end of "Fiddler on the Roof"). One of the women asked me why I only had two children. I started to talk about me not being the "mom" type, but I realized it sounded 'wrong' in that culture, so I didn't talk further about it.
Then the dirt road came to a paved road going up a hill. We crossed over and started walking up the hill on the gravel on the right side. As we went up the hill I saw another dirt road that went off to the right and down the other side of the hill. I stopped to look closer saying to my husband, "I think that's the road... the one from my dreams that leads to the wise man's house." (In most of my dreams I am approaching the road by coming down the paved road, making it off to the left. This was the first time I had seen it from the other direction. It's also the road that led to the horse stables and ranch house from a different dream.)
I was very intrigued and followed the road down the hill. It was a very long road but my sight moved like I was on wheels looking through a movie camera. the walk/roll down didn't take long at all. As I got to the bottom I rounded the bend and realized it was the horse ranch, not the wise man's house. There was the same gravel parking area that they both share, but the wooden beams framing the area and the wagon wheel on the stone wall of the building let me know it was the horse place not the wise old man's house. There were beautiful trees surrounding the area. It was very picturesque.
Knowing that I had been there before I didn't think anything of walking right inside. Inside was no where I had been before. It was a man's house that was a little dated with shag carpet and linoleum, beer cans, wood paneling, and other 70's looking things. The TV was on in a room only separated from the entry by a half wall with a "window" in it. The man walked through that room, as did 5 dogs. The dogs were all mutts, but you could clearly see breeds in them; like one was mainly bull dog, another mainly cattle dog, another a mix of Saint Bernard and pug. A few of the dogs came over to see me one by one. I knelt down and petted them. The man said something to me about the place, but I don't remember.

Meaning...
Well, I did prepare a Moroccan feast Friday for 12 ladies from my church.
We have been talking about travel a lot in my house...
And I've been babysitting dogs all week. All of those elements are explainable...
Why though, was there the horse place? Why was it not the wise man's place that I wanted to find? Or are the horse place and the wise man's place one in the same, and I see which ever makes sense that night. Is the horse place about humility and service, and the wise man's house about encouragement and empowerment? Do they intertwine?
Why was it coupled with the middle east. I just finished reading "Son of Hamas" (a great true story!) My mind is definitely on the middle east, just because of our nearing the "End". Well, it could be as simple as that. I'll ask God to show me if there is any further connection.

I am The Warrior

First dream in a while that has been note worthy.

A familiar setting... one from a dream many months ago. In the dream from before the location was in the country past horses and down a slope that made it feel like the Shire. It was a cozy but decadent home of an elderly man. A "wise old man" that I went to deliver something to and ended up talking to, and looking around admiring his things.
In last night's dream I started inside the house. There were many women from church(past and present)gathered there for something.
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted my friend Jeffrey, who has been dead for several years now. Many of my friends were talking to her, some times in groups and sometimes one on one. I stayed away. The dream did not take place in the past... It was present day, and even in my sleep, I knew she was dead. (In life, she was one of my dearest friends and mentors... a kindred spirit... one I could go to with ANY thing.)
The event that we were all gathered for let out and I walked out the side door and on to the gravel drive. Jeffrey walked right up beside me and said, "Why have you been avoiding me?" I don't remember what I said, but it was something about not knowing "what" she was. She spoke to me with kind words and basically said not to ignore her. I woke up shortly after singing "The Warrior" by Patty Smyth from the 80s.

Jeffrey once told me all of my "issues" would be solved if I just realized how much God loves me; If I could see in myself, the value that He sees in me.
This little life lesson comes up again and again for me. I have a hard time feeling "loved... and worth the effort."
Anyway... that's just ONE piece of advice she gave me, but I know that she was referring to it when she said not to ignore her. Me wondering "what" she was speaks of me still doubting the source of the thoughts in my head that tell me to take "self" time. Ya know, if you think being a mom means doing everything for everybody else... and then you get bashed for not doing a very good job of that, you some times start to think that a voice telling you to take some "me time" must be the enemy, cause that seems selfish. blah blah blah.
The wise old man was not in his house, but it's clear to me that Jeffrey was the "wise" person in this dream that everyone was getting advice from.
So all that leaves is the song:
... I looked up the lyrics.

"You run, run, runaway
It's your heart that you betray
Feeding on your hungry eyes
I bet you're not so civilized

Well isn't love primitive?
A wild gift that you wanna give
Break out of captivity
And follow me stereo jungle child
Love is the kill
Your heart's still wild

Shooting at the walls of heartache
Bang, bang!
I am the warrior
Well I am the warrior
And heart to heart you'll win
If you survive the warrior, the warrior

You talk, talk, talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically
Stay with me we'll take the night
As passion takes another bite, oh
Who's the hunter, who's the game?
I feel the beat call your name
I hold you close in victory
I don't wanna tame your animal style
You won't be caged in the call of the wild

Shooting at the walls of heartache
Bang, bang!
I am the warrior
Well I am the warrior
And heart to heart you'll win
If you survive the warrior, the warrior
I am the warrior

I'm not sure if you can see anything in it... cause it was only meant for me... but I see a message.

Demons with Presents

First demonic dream in a while...
I've tried to block it out a bit, so you'll only get glimpses...

There was a trolley involved. I was traveling. I came to a little room, not so much like a hotel room as a cabin. I unlocked the door and went inside to settle myself. Then there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there was an over weight baby-faced guy delivering something (can't remember what). I took the thing and then proceeded to close the door. He stepped in and attempted to kiss me. I shoved him away. (I think I had a little girl with me somewhere in the room. My friend Kathy's adopted daughter.)(I saw them yesterday.) I tried to get him out the door, but he was over powering me. Instead of going into the house I decided I would have an easier time getting away if I ran. So I started running. I don't remember if he turned into a tall black woman, or if I just saw her to my right. As I was running he/she began to ooze a clear goop out of somewhere near the top of his/her head. Then she/he began to fling it at me. It hit my head and moved down my face obscuring my vision. I was trying to wipe my eyes as I ran but the stuff was so thick I couldn't remove it, and now it was just getting all over my hands and arms too. I couldn't continue running, but I kept struggling. As he/she came closer I started to realize it was demonic. I began to say, "Go away, in the name of Jesus", but my words were only whispers (as they often are in these dreams). I tried over and over again until I was aware that I was sleeping, and that the only way I was going to be able to speak up was if I woke up. So I woke up. I lay in my bed catching my breath for a minute then told the spirit to leave. (and 5 minutes later... I was back asleep).

I did have another dream in my second half of sleep and it was a pleasant one.. but I can't remember it.

The dream reminds me of a conversation I had with Tanya the other day. We were talking about demons bringing "gifts" to our door. "Gifts" of lies, like "You're not good enough." or "You can't do this, give up." (stuff like that) Tanya equated those lies that we often accept as packages arriving full of $#!** and us signing for it, and saying, "Oh thanks" as we take the package full of $#!** into our house, and then proceed to rub it on ourselves like lotion.
In the dream, I accepted the package... giving the demon a foot in the door. I didn't KNOW it was a demon at the time. He was offering me something I wanted, like pizza. (on this diet... I'd die for some pizza). It's interesting that he was fat; like he represented all these temptations to cheat on my diet... or just to give up and be happy with being over weight.
He wanted to obscure my vision with the ooze stuff... that's what demons do; They just don't want you to see things clearly. If they can make it look better (and you get to live in denial), or if they can make things look worse (and you get to live life depressed), either way works for them. "Don't deal with the problem, and we'll always have a 'way in'," they say.

I'm praying this morning that that was a Solomon type experience. (Going back to when Solomon asked for wisdom in a dream... and it really happened.) I would love to have just fought that demon and won, in real life. I don't want him back.
I have such a hard time with food, and such a hard time believing I can do this. I don't want to accept those lies as presents anymore... they are packages of $#!**.

Let the Inappropriateness Continue

Another weird one last night.

It began in a house most closely related to a house lived in in Florida when I was 7, but with elements of a house from NC when I was 5. I was there with my daughter and my son and we were getting ready to leave for somewhere. My daughter was ready and in the kitchen and my son was still putting on shoes and socks in his room. I was yelling at him to not lolly-gag. I was even getting violent. Not hitting him, just raving like a lunatic. He was a teenager in the dream (which is the first time I've ever dreamed of him older than he is). My daughter was still a teenager too though.
Out of the blue an old class mate named Terri Scott showed up at the back sliding glass door. I motioned for her to come around to the front. Then I noticed it was raining as she made her way around to a side door (also glass... and there were many windows along the side, so it was like I saw her the whole way as she walked). There were two dogs outside and both were wet and muddy from a puddle near the back door. I didn't want then to come in but I told Terri to come on in the side door. The dogs ran by her as she opened the door.
I walked through the back of the house again and my dad was sitting on the floor naked (a sight I've never actually seen). My daughter walked by and I got very upset with my dad for being exposed in front of her.
The scene changed a bit and we were in a house that I lived in when I was a pre-teen. It was just me and my dad and my mom in their room. My dad was still naked and the vibe was all wrong. Luckily I woke up then.

Thoughts on meaning...
well, my daughter and I had a conversation about penises the other day and how she had never seen one that didn't belong to a small child, or a statue. Also a day ago my nephew was wandering around the house naked and my dad made a comment about it. He quoted my daughter from when she was 2 and had walked in the bathroom where my dad was peeing. She said, "Why he's peeing through his dinger?" (meaning "finger").
That, I suppose, is why a naked father was in my mind.
As for Terri and the dogs, and the rain, and the glass... well, I don't know. I have been waiting for years for Terri to tell me something about her brother. He was a good friend of mine. She was a few years older than me and he was in my grade. She's on facebook, and he's not... so I've been asking about him, but still no word. Perhaps she will tell me soon. I'll go look on her page for news. I'm hoping it's not bad... as the rain and yucky dogs would suggest.
And why was I yelling at my son? Yes, he often does lolly-gag and it's irritating, but not "rage" worthy. Perhaps it's just my anger at kids at camp surrounding my son. I got a letter from him yesterday talking about some bullies at camp. It made me mad. Socks (with his name on them in sharpie) make me think of camp... which is what he was putting on in the dream.

While on my Trip

I'm always interested to see what kind of hotel dreams I have while away. Hotel dreams can be some of the wildest ones ever. This trip (to Vegas) wasn't as good as most, but I still had some interesting ones, and definitely some influenced by the surroundings.

The first night we were there we went to see the Blue Man Group, and I had a "drumming" dream. There were all types of things to drum on (just like the show) and different people from all over were taking turns on stage to drum for various causes. The last cause before I woke up was cancer.

The next night I had a 'not very nice' dream at all. I was with my husband and we were at a table in Vegas, I went to ask him something and he ignored me. I then attempted to ask him if he loved me, and a very fake bodied, brunette held my arm as I reached, pulled me aside and said, "Isn't it obvious... He's done with you." She gave me a very sympathetic look as I became dejected and walked away.

The next night (after a rather sad afternoon by the pool) I had a dream that I inherited a house. The house was built back in the "Little House on the Prairie" days but was still holding up. I was getting a tour of the property. (No one was with me, except 'the voice', my guide. I could talk out loud to him. If you've read way back in the beginning of this blog, you may remember "The voice", whom I assume is the Holy Spirit. If you can talk and ask questions of a "no body" in your dreams, and he answers, either with words or thoughts, that's Him, most likely.)

Anyway, the land on my property was a few acres I'd guess, and sloped down significantly in the back, where most of the land was. The house in the front of the property was very small, possibly 1,000 or so square feet. I didn't go inside the house until I had walked the perimeter of the yard. There were no fences and my dog ran to the neighbor's yard to the right of the house. The neighbor was a grumpy old man who yelled at me for letting my dog go. 

As I looked down to the bottom of the hill I thought of where to put a pool. There was plenty of room. The more I looked I saw a huge puddle at the bottom of the hill. The drainage was obviously bad. I tried to stay positive and say, "well, we'll put the pool there." I reached the bottom of the hill and walked around a small wall behind the puddle and back up the left side of the hill. When we reached the house, we went in. (Me and the voice). I looked only in the front room which was very quaint. You could see directly into the kitchen just beyond the front room.  The front door didn't quite fit in the door frame, like it had swelled over time and you had to give it a good shove to make it close. 

Just then it started to rain... really hard. The rain started pouring in through a hole in the upper part of the front door, in the center. It was only that one spot and quite a steady stream. I asked, "How are we going to fix it?" Just then He picked up a piece of wood from the floor that fit the hole perfectly. (I can't remember if He gave it to me to plug up, or if He did it himself.) But it plugged the hole perfectly and the rain could not get in.

...and that was the end.

I'd love it if this dream had nothing to do with me and I could give it a different interpretation, but as often is the case, houses/ property represent ourselves. This one is very telling of how my week, month, year... is feeling. I have a big property, but my drainage is terrible, my house is beaten down. My front door doesn't close well, and the rain comes in steadily. There are no fences. I live on a hill. 

I am happy to know that there is a perfect fit for the door to help the rain stop coming in... I will be looking for that... on the floor.

God help me.

#1 I grew up watching (loving) "Little House on the Prairie". I always wished my name was Laura or Lauren. 

#2 I let my dog off leash on walks when no one is around. I know it's against the law, I hate that law. I like how it is in other countries where they are free like cats. But unlike cats they are loyal to their owners and basically just follow them around. Anyway, I was yelled at the other day by a grumpy old man about the dog being off leash. Those type of things hurt me way more than they should.

#3 I am going to counseling once every few weeks these days, so I'm dealing with a lot of stuff that has just piled up over the years... in the back yard... so to speak. "Dealing with" would be a good phrase, but right now it feels more like we're just able to see it all... It's not moving. I had/have an optimistic outlook for what my 'land' could be, but  upon closer inspection you see the "puddle". Sure we can "pretend" like it's OK... just put the "pool" there, but really, It's a drainage issue, and I need to get rid of the water, not mask it.

#4 I don't want to shut people out, but I do think that there must be something to the front door unable to shut properly and having a hole where the rain comes in like a watering can is aimed directly at the hole. I think this is about how easily I am hurt.  (by family, friends, and strangers).

Rescuing Dogs

Yesterday  I saw a small black dog dodging traffic on Elk Grove Blvd. in rush hour. He made it safely to the side... while I watched. 

I also had a man reprimand me for having my dog off leash yesterday while on our walk.

I had a pretty pity party of a day (due to other things... not those) and went to bed crying.

Last night's dream was about dogs.

In the dream, the same little black dog was running around the street and another girl (long brown hair... could have been me, but I was watching from a distance) and my friend Cheryl (who works with dogs) caught him. As they were taking him away, through a city park (just grass) (Reminded me of the Curtis Park area in Sacramento) a box was dropped in the middle of the street. It was a large refrigerator size box taped with duct tape and it had holes punched in it. It had a dog in it; a big one. As they were about to get it open a van squealed around the corner and Cheryl and the other girl jumped back to the sidewalk. A man reached out of the open back of the van and pulled the box in. At the same time, he pushed a gray short haired large dog out of the van. The gray dog looked a little under fed and scared. As the van peeled away the girls took the gray dog and the small black dog to Cheryl's town house. (Really she has a house, but in the dream she lived in a small town house that also looked like it fit in the Curtis Park area... that era at least.) With both dogs inside Cheryl's roommate (the brown haired girl... not her real room mate) was sitting with her back up against the door and her feet on a wall making sure the door would not open. Cheryl was also sitting on the floor on the opposite wall.

It was like they were hiding out. 

On my walk yesterday my friend Carrie and I were talking about my pity party, self-condemnation, etc. The man had just walked by scolding me about my dog off leash and those type of things effect me more than they should. (On a side note... I've been to many countries, and America has THE worst dogs! Everywhere else they sit in shops, on the beach, free... And nice. Here, we chain 'em up, blah blah blah, and they get frustrated, and mean.) Carrie started to use dogs as an illustration for myself. Chained... we're frustrated, in bondage. My dog walks all zig-zaggy on a leash. He drags; he goes around you... He wants to be off. He does great off-leash (unless he spots a rabbit... then he chases it.) Anyway, my point is... I'm not sure if I was the brown haired girl in the dream... or one of the dogs... or just an on looker. But the dream definitely reminded me of being miss treated, and hiding from those that miss treat me. (not physically, mind you, but emotionally.)

Trains... no planes... no automobiles

A few more disturbing dreams.

First one:

I'm driving a train along open, sometimes cavernous, terrain. (at least I think I'm driving; I guess I could have been poking my head out of a back area.)  There is another train and driver in front of me (or if I'm wrong, it's the real driver of my train). The driver of the first train is crazy. He's a skinny mountain man like you'd picture from the gold rush of 49. He seems intent on crashing.  At the finally of the dream a rocking horse/boulder is sliding on a cable directly to the left of the on coming train. I'm watching, thinking, "It's going to hit!" And the Gold miner dude is watching it and getting excited, "wahoo!". On impact, I woke up.

Second one:

I'm in a large store like Macys with my friends (my BF from High School, and three more from now-a-days).

We're looking at cosmetics and there's a serum that says it smooths out your thighs. It's in a tiny vial and very expensive. Everybody says to walk away, but I'm interested. I watch a small demo of the product (I guess on a screen). It shows John Cougar's model wife (don't remember her name) rubbing the cream... that now looks like foundation, over her butt and thighs with multiple tattoos, making them all disappear. I think,"well, shoot, it's only good for one use. Once you get in the water, that's gone." Then I wonder what it actually does for cellulite etc. cause she doesn't have any to start with. On the demo, her butt and legs(which is all you see now) turn into an old lady's butt and legs... naked. She's laying on her belly and slowly her legs disappear and her butt starts to look like the butt of a turkey before it's cooked... but wrinkly.

I walk away. My friends and I all go out to a train station. We are waiting a long time for the train and we all have lots of bags. I start to day dream about something and actually doze off. Minutes later my friends are calling for me from the train which is about half a block down the road on the platform.  I rush to gather the small amount of stuff they've left for me to carry. (A hat box with some socks and shoes, and other pieces of laundry.) I start running and the train starts up. Still running and the train starts moving. "Oh NO!" I start taking huge (supernatural) steps and catch up with the front of the train... which is more like a subway train. I plaster myself to the train and try to scoot around the right side to get to the doors. The conductor puts her head out and says my name with alarm. She opens a door for me and (after dropping most of what I had) I get in.

..and that was the end.

Third one: 

Was at my 6th grade house with my family and my Pawpaw (granddad on my dad's side). I started in my parent's room and then went through our swinging doors to the kitchen to look for food. Pawpaw came too and was looking for food as well.

That's about all I remember about that.