The Herring Chair

I have started a new dream painting based on a dream I had the night before last.
The dream was about my baby leaving home.
My daughter just graduated from high school and will be going to college in the fall away from home.

She is debating on leaving earlier to try to get a job at Disney Land. She basically grew up at Disney Land. We lived very close until she was 5, and now my parents live in Anaheim.

In the dream she was heading out to catch a boat that would take her away. The boat was about 2 miles out and people were taking rafts and paddle boards out to it. My husband got on one of the rafts and was saying goodbye to her, but I missed the raft and every other boat that was in the water. My daughter got farther and farther away and I had no way of getting to her. I looked around and found a Lazy Boy chair floating near the entrance of an alley, I got in and proceeded to paddle my way out to sea. But when I looked down my lap was full of fish. I threw the shiny silver fish out by the handfuls, but there kept being more. My attempts were futile and I finally gave up and looked down the alley where there was an area with old Sesame Street toys from my childhood. (Ones that I had saved for my daughter and that are now passed on to my sister's kids.)

The boat that was out in the water was a Ferry that was surrounded by fanciful characters and mer-people. The chair that I found was a desert mauve corduroy Lazy Boy that was my parent's chair, and the chair that I rocked my daughter to sleep on every night until she was 4. The fish in my lap were herrings. That is important to the dream's meaning because my maiden name is Herring.

Mice in the Kitchen, Forgotten Son, and Stuck Car.

It's been a while, I know.
My excuse (though not a good one) is that it's summer, and I have been sleeping in. I wake up so late that I don't feel like I have any time to spend typing.

For the past two nights, however, my dreams have been bad and pointed, so I thought I'd take a minute to write them down since I woke up a little early this morning.

Sunday night I had a dream that there were mice in my grandmother's kitchen. As you may remember I consider my grandmother the source of my family's spiritual legacy. When I dream of her house it is always a mansion, and typically very full. Sunday night's dream was no exception. The house was open and grand, with room for hundreds of people. I had been wandering around the first floor of the house, and came into the kitchen. There I found my dog nosing at the cabinets. I looked closer and he was killing a mouse. The mouse had on clothes (like Stuart Little). As I stood there, another mouse appeared and then another. All were dressed, but unwelcome just the same. I killed a few, and my husband killed a few. We were squishing them, halving them... whatever we could do to kill them.
As you know, the kitchen is the heart of the home, and mice are typically considered pests. I have been praying for my grandmother ever since as she has battled cancer and other ailments in the past, and her health is not the greatest even now. I can't think of any other meaning than disease in her "heart", (whether it be literal, or something like worry).

Last night's dreams were disturbing for other reasons.
In the first, I left my son alone in a crowded place, and in the second I could not get to my car.

The first dream began with my son and I walking through a flea market type environment. He was picking up all kinds of things that he wanted... mostly sweet treats, like popsicles. I showed him an area of gallons of ice cream and we talked about getting one even though we are both on a diet. (The diet was talked about repeatedly in the dream.) After we had gotten all the things he wanted I told him I would meet him back at the car and we would drive "home". I went out a back way through a warehouse guided by a worker who was hitting on me. I had four pen caps in my hand and then my back pocket. (Don't know what that was about.) When I got to the car I forgot to wait for my son. I instead drove all the way to the hotel/cabin, where my husband and daughter were already there and asleep. I went to bed, and fell asleep too. When I rolled over a little while later it dawned on me that I had forgotten my son. I panicked, and stumbled to the car still half asleep. I thought about the fact that I was too sleepy to drive. Then I thought about my phone battery. I looked down to see multiple missed calls from my son and even a very sad picture he had taken of himself. I also saw that my battery was in the red zone. I panicked more. Oh no! How am I going to get a hold of him? How is he going to call me? I ran back into the cabin to get my husband's phone, all the while thinking "what if my son's battery is almost dead?" I woke myself up with all the panic.

I went back to sleep after a quick pee brake. The next dream was better, but still bad.
I was with my two best friends from high school; we had been at some event and were now walking back to my car. We got to the parking garage and could not find my car. Then we found a hole in the back of the car garage down to another level of cars. I could see my car on the lower level. The cars were crammed together like sardines with absolutely no room to drive them out. There wasn't even a ramp to get them out of the hole. I jumped down the hole onto the hood of another car and walked around on car hoods to see if I could figure out something. Realizing that this was a towing company I deducted that the cars had been lowered down with a crane. So my friends and I went to find the owner. I found a worker sitting in a shack out in a dusty yard, feet up, talking on the phone. I asked if he could help me. He was very rude and denied me help. He mentioned the owner, pointed him out, and said he was busy too. No one would be able to help us. It was extremely frustrating. The dream ended in frustration after minutes of trying to get the owner's attention.

Meanings? Well, I think that the diet talk and the fact that all of our purchases were food items not on our diet, speaks to what the dream with my son was about. I have nearly reached my goal weight and my days of dieting will soon be over... or so I hope. (Even the worker hitting on me speaks of where I'm at in my weight.) My son is just now starting his weight loss journey (this time around). I think that the dream is reminding me not to leave him behind. Not to go back and "sleep" with my skinny daughter and husband. The world offers many temptations that I can't just say, "that's not on our diet, but just this once we could get it"; (which are the kinds of things I was saying in the dream).

Personal cars in dreams typically speak about your personal life. I don't particularly like the idea of my life stuck underground without having the ways and means of getting it out myself. I do like that my best friends are with me the whole time. I really don't have other thoughts about the meaning of that dream.

A Short Affair

I wish I could remember my other dreams from last night... I had three, but only remember one now. The first two were mild in nature and OK for sharing.
The last one (the one I remember) is not appropriate at all, but I will do my best to share it.

It started in a church service. (I watched a little church TV yesterday while over at my friend's house, who is stuck in bed with an illness. The service in my dream was way more like the church on TV than any church I have ever been to in person.) The choir wore royal blue robes and the congregation was full of dressed up people. I sat on the 3rd row on the right hand side close to the middle aisle. Half way through the service there was a break. People got up to use the restroom, or get a doughnut, or whatever. I stayed seated.
When the break was over only half of the people came back. The speaker in the front made mention of it, and I thought to myself, "oh, the people will be back soon, they are just taking their time." There were many that did come back, but not all. A pastor that I know came and sat down beside me. I noticed that I was wearing a robe as well, and that I was naked underneath. The robe had opened in the front at my leg, and my upper thigh was exposed. The pastor beside me (on my left) reached over and "touched" me. I was shocked. I moved the robe to cover myself, but shortly after that he took my hand and put it on his "lap". "Oh my God," I barely whispered as I felt how huge he was.
The scene changed and we were in my bedroom. There was no sensation of anything sexual, but we were having sex. All I thought of was how big he was. My kids came to the door and I quickly got up and rushed to see what they wanted. I put the pastor over my shoulder (lack a sack) and played it off as if he was my husband. As I talked to the kids, they never looked at his face. Then right as we were done talking my daughter noticed who it was. She questioned me, and very plainly I said, "We are just having a short affair, it will be over very soon," and I rushed back to the bed eagerly.

Well... it's yet another dream about exposure, and about the church. I have had dreams this week of dealing with children's ministry, teen girl's ministry, church 'building' ministry, and now intimacy with pastoral ministries.
The fact that there was no sexual sensation in the dream assures me that it wasn't really about sex. The size of things I think is symbolic of power and influence, and that was the luring point.
It would be nice to think that my constant exposure would lead to a place of influence, but positions of influence are tricky; there is a lot of war-fare involved in leadership.

... that's all I have today.

Swiss Airport Confusion

Sorry for the gap in posts. I have been dreaming... just some have been about other friends who may not want those dreams shared.

Last night's dream, however, was just about my daughter and me.

We drove to an airport in Switzerland and went inside trying to find our way to the terminal.
The room we went into first was a salon. There were very snooty women working there and no one would help us. Finally I started walking out muttering to myself about the service. One of the ladies then said, "I will help you in a moment." I was already half way out the door, so we just kept on walking.
Once out into the foyer we saw an elevator and for some reason knew that the terminal was up a few floors, so we got in.
There was a Japanese business man in the elevator as well. We pushed a button and the glass elevator went up very quickly and then started to make a circle around a section of the foyer, also very quickly... like a kiddy-ride at a fair.
We realized this was not going to get us anywhere.
Once the elevator 'landed' we got out and went to an information desk area.
As we were waiting for our turn a voice over the loud speaker said, "Flights ____ and _____ for Denver and ______, now boarding.
I didn't know if our flight went through one of those places, so I started to panic and told my daughter to start gathering our things, that we would run over there.
As I looked down to grab our suit cases I saw that there was only one small suitcase and the rest were all art supplies. The art supplies were very unorganized and in small bags or cases. Like one bag full of paints, my tackle box of paints, a stack of sketch pads and paper, plastic grocery bags of brushes and fabric, chalks, etc. It was overwhelming. I tried to pick it all up but was having a very hard time.
I got frustrated with my daughter for not helping.
Then it was our turn at the information counter.
I went up there and the lady started speaking to me in another language. (We were in Switzerland after all.) I then asked her, in Italian, how to get to the 'train station'. Which I said incorrectly... "Dove è la stazione del traino?" But really I should have been saying "Dove è l'aeroporto". Oh well. Anyway, she then said, in English, that she didn't speak Italian. So in an Italian accent, I spoke to her in broken English. (So silly.)

When I started to think that we were going to miss our flight I looked around and noticed that there was a very fancy mall behind the foyer area. I told my daughter that if we stayed we could go shopping. She was not amused. She just wanted to leave. Then she said, "Mom, I don't need any more clothes, and neither do you." I concurred, but said, "Well, maybe we could just get one outfit for fun."

Then I woke up.

This one seems pretty straight forward in many ways.
i had a conversation with my husband last night about feeling overwhelmed and not knowing which art project to do next, which bible study, etc. So that speaks clearly about the disorganized bags etc.
My daughter has often expressed an interest in living in Switzerland. (She's been before, and loved it.) The only overseas place I've ever lived is Italy, which is why I reverted to that language. We are flying to Denver at Thanksgiving, to spend time with family friends in Manitou Springs. (So there's that reference... even as it being a non-final destination.)
I think to elevator and all the confusion is just about my lack of direction. My daughter being involved in all of it is probably just because I spent my evening with her driving her to dance classes. We talked about our passions and goals etc.

Let the Inappropriateness Continue

Another weird one last night.

It began in a house most closely related to a house lived in in Florida when I was 7, but with elements of a house from NC when I was 5. I was there with my daughter and my son and we were getting ready to leave for somewhere. My daughter was ready and in the kitchen and my son was still putting on shoes and socks in his room. I was yelling at him to not lolly-gag. I was even getting violent. Not hitting him, just raving like a lunatic. He was a teenager in the dream (which is the first time I've ever dreamed of him older than he is). My daughter was still a teenager too though.
Out of the blue an old class mate named Terri Scott showed up at the back sliding glass door. I motioned for her to come around to the front. Then I noticed it was raining as she made her way around to a side door (also glass... and there were many windows along the side, so it was like I saw her the whole way as she walked). There were two dogs outside and both were wet and muddy from a puddle near the back door. I didn't want then to come in but I told Terri to come on in the side door. The dogs ran by her as she opened the door.
I walked through the back of the house again and my dad was sitting on the floor naked (a sight I've never actually seen). My daughter walked by and I got very upset with my dad for being exposed in front of her.
The scene changed a bit and we were in a house that I lived in when I was a pre-teen. It was just me and my dad and my mom in their room. My dad was still naked and the vibe was all wrong. Luckily I woke up then.

Thoughts on meaning...
well, my daughter and I had a conversation about penises the other day and how she had never seen one that didn't belong to a small child, or a statue. Also a day ago my nephew was wandering around the house naked and my dad made a comment about it. He quoted my daughter from when she was 2 and had walked in the bathroom where my dad was peeing. She said, "Why he's peeing through his dinger?" (meaning "finger").
That, I suppose, is why a naked father was in my mind.
As for Terri and the dogs, and the rain, and the glass... well, I don't know. I have been waiting for years for Terri to tell me something about her brother. He was a good friend of mine. She was a few years older than me and he was in my grade. She's on facebook, and he's not... so I've been asking about him, but still no word. Perhaps she will tell me soon. I'll go look on her page for news. I'm hoping it's not bad... as the rain and yucky dogs would suggest.
And why was I yelling at my son? Yes, he often does lolly-gag and it's irritating, but not "rage" worthy. Perhaps it's just my anger at kids at camp surrounding my son. I got a letter from him yesterday talking about some bullies at camp. It made me mad. Socks (with his name on them in sharpie) make me think of camp... which is what he was putting on in the dream.

"Where Is His Head?"

I'm on vacation in Spain right now. I wish I would have been able to use the computer every morning cause the dreams here are crazy, but I haven't had the time.

I'll start with Monday morning's dream, cause I did at least get to write that one down (just not on the blog...yet.)

Monday morning’s dream:
My husband, daughter, son, and I were all late for school and were driving all over an unfamiliar city trying to get there. (Yesterday we got a little lost in the city of Malaga,Spain, and drove around for a while frustrated. This was a lot like that.)
Anyway, I was in a horse drawn carriage driving and my husband was driving an open back vehicle (not sure what). My daughter was sitting beside me and my son was standing on the back of my husband’s vehicle in front of us. My son was holding on to a bar in the back and standing on the bumper area. I was fine with that. My husband, however, was turning around telling him to sit down. I started arguing with him saying to leave him alone. Then the unthinkable happened. My son let go of the bar he had been holding, and fell. I was directly after them, and had no time to stop. The horses barely missed him, as did my wheels. But the truck that was directly behind me ran over his head with its second wheel. By then we had stopped our vehicles, and I was running to see if he was dead. I saw his body, but not his head. (There was no blood.) I was screaming and bawling my eyes out. I frantically lifted (with super human strength) all the tires to look for his head. The tires were transparent and there was no head or splat anywhere. In one of the tires I thought I saw a baby’s head from the top, but it was just something round inside the tire. I was ballistic. Crying, screaming, throwing tires left and right. I was mad at my husband and daughter for not seeming sad. My husband was trying to stay calm and rationalize the event. He even pulled out my son’s baby book and looked through it. He found a poem about a river, and read it. He then asked (because the poem had a word that repeated over and over, sounded like “La”,) if all rivers were the same river because they all had that word. I threw a tire right by his head, and one by my daughter’s head. I thought about who was at fault, but settled on nothing. I was crying so hard that I woke myself up.
(…and I’m certainly glad I did; It was a terrible dream!)

The only other dreams I have ever had about my children dying were ones where they fell, and I dove after them. This is the first one that I could not follow or try to save them; It was horrible. I don’t know if I’ve ever cried that hard in a dream. I have no idea what it means, if anything. We are on vacation, and sleeping on hard uncomfortable beds, so maybe it’s just that. My only other thought is about how I am frustrated that my husband doesn’t seem to care about my son as much as my daughter. By that I don’t really mean less care as much as less time devoted. But the dream only says something about that in part. Why was his head missing? Why did the truck just run over his head? What about the horses? What about the river poem? I have lots of questions. I hope there is nothing to it… nothing at all.

Take the Wheel, Clean the Baby, and Dress Up.

I slept great last night... I bought some "breathe right strips"... Thank you to the inventor of those!

My first dream started in a parking lot. I can't remember too much of it, but I remember the main part, which is that my ten year old son was driving the car while my daughter and I rode in it... Me in the back seat. At one point he turned and was on the freeway facing on coming traffic. I tried to talk him through turning back around, but some cars started coming and he froze. When the next opportunity appeared I jumped over the center console and took over driving.

(I think this is as plain as it sounds... I'm letting a ten year old drive me around... I need to stop!)

My second dream was about a baby. The baby was a girl, maybe 4 months old. My mom and I (and I think my daughter) were all taking care of her. She looked a lot like my sister's daughter with curly brown hair, and a button nose and big eyes. She had on a red frilly dress. She wasn't mine, but I was helping. I took her to the bathroom to change her diaper. I was holding her by the belly and running water over her butt, wiping her clean. Then as I was drying her off I got angry and was being intentionally rough with her. I wasn't outright shaking her, but I was jerking her around and had a mean look on my face. I was frustrated with the situation... which had something to do with the baby.

(This one, I'm not positive, but I think has something to do with my daughter's trouble. I think the baby represents my daughter's "fruit" so-to-speak. I'm trying to help clean it up, but it's frustrating, and mainly I just wanna hurt the little 'red dress wearing' thing. )

My third dream was a good one, thank God. I was with my sister and we were kids. The look we had going was based on a favorite picture from my childhood. (In the picture we were at my Grandma's house and we had on fancy dresses and some of her makeup.) In the dream we had choices of piles of frilly dresses and skirts and boas to dress-up in. We had our hair curled and mine was in pig tails (as was often the case growing up). We had lip gloss on too. We were dressing up and dancing around enjoying being little girls. It was a very enjoyable dream!

(I think this one is a flipped coin from the MANY clothes trying on/sister dreams I've had in the past few months. In all the past dreams I've been a teen or an adult and the clothes rarely fit, and it's rarely 'even' between us and rarely fun. This one, being free and innocent, and just being ourselves, we had a great time. All the clothes fit, and we enjoyed each others company.)

Half Fake Babies

Yesterday there was a baby in my dream... a real baby, that I know, last night, there was two babies, and they were fake... hmmmm...

The dream started at drama practice. I was there with Tracy, and my daughter and other other drama people (from church). I had been given lines and we were practicing my delivery. The backdrop was white and formless.

I don't remember the first part of the line, but the second part was, "I see what you mean". I had a make-up compact in my hand and my back turned to the group. I turned and said my line angrily. I did this a few times, then asked if it would be better if I said it with a bit of surprise and a softer voice... ,"blah blah blah... Oh, I see what you mean." At that point I was holding a baby. The baby was a doll... at least from the waist down. The legs were plastic and stiff in a seated position; they hinged at the thighs. 

I walked with the baby over to a bunk bed right inside a small room a few yards away. My sister was on the top bunk with another baby boy. It looked fairly real, and I thought of him as hers. She wanted me to take him for a minute while she adjusted something. I stood on the ledge of the bottom bunk, (as I often did as a child, to be able to reach the top bunk) and held out my free arm. I was holding the other baby in the crook of my left arm and holding the top bunk rail with my left hand. She gave me the baby, and I realized his legs were plastic as well. I couldn't get a good hold on him because of my positioning. I asked her to take him back, that I couldn't hold him, but she argued that she couldn't do it either.

That was the end.

Given that my sister was on her top bunk, I'd like to take it literally as being about my sister, but my mind keeps thinking of my agenda this morning, which is to go see a new space with my art group the "Swell Sisters". The space is on the second floor, (like a bunk bed) and this is a "baby" of ours. 

The bottom floor of the building is a dance studio. I'm hoping that there will be something there for me as well. I was a dancer as a kid, and am really wanting to get back into that. 

Anyway, I imagine I'll have a better grasp on what the dream is about after my meeting this morning. I will be looking for parallels.

Who am I?

Tis the week of disturbing dreams, I have decided.

Last night's started with my daughter and I going to her first 'female exam'. It was in a college class room on a table. The room was very large and upstairs. The table was near a window. There were a total of three doctors, each came in one at a time. They were going to fill her "cavity" with some sort of mold making plaster substance. (I think this strange concept came from my husband's inner ear sound system molds that arrived yesterday.)  When the last Dr. came in he wanted to shave her and give her a "wig" made of the hair on her head... which was red in the dream. I told him not to shave her completely, explaining to him and her that it would itch like crazy when the hair grew back in.  He left the room and we escaped. We went down a corridor and some stairs and ended up at my home from my late teens ;(the home that my daughter was born at).

While we were there my dad was talking to me about laundry and a trip. I went outside and sat on the driveway with my two dogs: one from then, and one from now. Back then I had a small Cocker Spaniel mix, and now I have an American Stoffordshire Terrier, so they were quite opposite sitting out there with me. A lady with a stroller walked by and my small dog walked over to see her. 

My parents came out and said it was time for our trip, so I put the dogs away and we got into a van. I sat in the back of the van. We drove to the snow to go skiing. There were a few of us that didn't have socks, so when we reached to snow we had to stop and buy some. I already had on my ski boots when we got out of the van to go in the store. I feel on my butt directly out of the van in some ice, and again inside the store. The whole time I was walking to the store and even inside for part of the time I was texting my daughter's ex-boyfriend, Nick. The store was open on one side like it had multiple garage doors that were all opened that day. It was a packed store and very "costco"-ish. After I looked at a few things I made my way to some metal steps by the street and sat down. I feel asleep. Water rising up to my feet woke me up. I was a little girl, like maybe 6 or 7. I knew I had left my younger sister on another step, so even though I heard my dad calling me, I went back into a tower of sorts that had another metal stairway going down the center to get my sister. She too was down in some water as I pulled her up and we climbed the stairs together. She was blonde and about 4. (My daughter was blonde when she was 4.   hmmm.)

And that was the end of the dream.

Aside from the inner ear molds, there is nothing about this dream that resembles anything from the past few weeks, so it is most definitely not just a compilation of my thoughts.

I'm not sure I want to find out what it all means. 

For reoccurring themes... there's the laundry... and that's about it. hmmmmm. Again, I have to wonder if I was me the whole time, or if while I was texting Nick, was I my daughter? 

Anyway, I'll think about it. For now, I have to go get my kids to school.

Cinderella's Castle Ride

Last night there was lots of dreaming going on... but one stood out above the rest, so that's the one I will tell.

I was at Disney Land (or what was suppose to be Disney land). Things were closing, but I wanted to see a new ride inside Cinderella's castle that my church's youth pastor (David) had designed. I snuck in and went up to a ledge that had a small nook where some paper in an envelope was.

The room I was in was circular. The ceilings were extremely high (three stories worth, I'd guess). The walls were white and the detailing was blue... just like Cinderella's castle on the outside. (Just FYI, Cinderella's castle is my FAVORITE part of Disney!) The floor was white marble with small black tile accents... just like the grand hotel I often dream of. There were multiple nooks on the wall, (little places to showcase your treasures ...like the alters in Mexico that have Mary statues.) They were all empty but very ornate. 

I climbed up to the alcove with the envelope on it, opened it up and read. I don't remember what it said, but I knew it was written by David. There was a rope dangling from the ceiling for me to hold on to. I held it and the "ride" started. The rope swung me around the room, basically leaping from nook to nook, in a circle and very fluid. After a few times around I wanted to stop. I landed right where I started, but the alcove was now lower to the ground... about kitchen counter height, and as I set down the paper a bull came in the door.

The bull was staring at me and was mad that I was there. He started to charge me. 

I noticed a wooden window frame to my right and I looked through it. It went to a kitchen. Then I noticed that the window slid up to open. So I opened it and barely squeezed through. I came out the other side on the kitchen counter. The kitchen was very neat and Disney-ish with an old Dutch vibe; lots of wood. 

I remembered that I had left my things (or maybe just the paper) in the other room. So I went back into the circular Cinderella room... with the bull.

The floor had changed into brown, like dirt... but it was smushy, like walking in a semi-deflated bounce-house, or on quicksand that you don't sink into. I could barely walk, and the bull was basically guarding the area I was aiming for. I got to the point that I was crawling, and the bull came to help me.

...and that was the end of the dream.

While we were on our tour in Israel I learned a little more about those alcoves. We went to the Temple of Pan: a place where there were many many alcoves all dedicated to different deities. This was the site where Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do you say that I am?" It was a pointed lesson because He asked them in the midst of numerous 'gods'.

Last night's dream is another that I'm not sure of, but I think I was playing the part of my daughter. Her third "serious" relationship ended yesterday, and she has been trying to get a time to talk to David (the youth pastor) for a couple weeks now. 

We often talk to her about the 'god' placement her boyfriends hold in her life, so all these little alters around the room being very ornate, but empty at present, seem to fit that to me. 

And of course, just like most 16 year old girls, she's waiting for prince charming.

Right now... I'm amusing myself with the thought of my husband being the bull. :-)

"My Sister"

Last night's dream:

I was in a beauty supply store with my mom. We were picking out hair color. We picked a large (20 oz) jar of cream. The glass jar was amber in color with a metal black lid and no writing.

We went home and were sitting in a room with my sister. At some point prior we had read my sister's diary or schedule book and we knew that she was planning a date that night to go see a movie with Kirk Cameron (her boyfriend). She was asking my mom if she could go, but we knew she had already committed to it.

I questioned her, "Isn't it true that you're going already?" My mom reprimanded me and told me to go in the other room. 

I walked into the living room where my sister's friend and my dad were watching TV. They were watching a movie with Kirk Cameron in it. We were in the movie too and Kirk had just found out that none of us were real or that he wasn't real... I forget exactly. He spilled the Rice Krispies all over the kitchen floor and was picking them up while looking over his shoulder wearily.

I sat on the couch sideways under a blanket in my PJs, (they were really my daughter's PJs).

The I got up to take a shower. I Got out of the shower and stood looking in the mirror with high heels on (they make me look taller and thinner ;-).

As I was standing there a whole conversation about my sister's house ran through my head. Her and her husband had completely paid off their house and were purchasing another one for $25,000, that they would rent out. I thought about that for a while, and went into the hall to talk to her about it.

The End.

This is one of those dreams where I'm not sure I was myself all the time. I could have been my daughter.

One thing is clear... I should really call my sister. That's the third night of dreams about her.

"Pregnant Dreams"

A little foreground...

Yesterday I started the "Truth Project" with the junior high and high school students after church. I'm very excited about that.  

Our youth pastor's baby is due Friday, so that has also been on my mind.

Yesterday was my 11th wedding anniversary. 

I went to bed last night praying that I would have some worth while dreams.

BOY did I!

I had one of a carnival... being there with kids from a class. My son's kindergarten teacher was there, along with many other teachers. One was very pregnant and jumped on a trampoline, fell, but smiled. She was beautiful. There was a fence by the park that was significant.

The next dream I had was that I was given an electronic baby. It was very "real" in size and shape, but had a screen and gears on it's face. It pooped... real baby poop and I went to clean it up in the sink. My mother was there to help me, but we kept hitting the babies head with the door, or the sink edge, or the spout. I was getting mad at my mom and frustrated with myself. The water was not good for the baby. (Duh, he was electric). So the screen went blank like we had killed him. Then words came across it saying that we had to do some steps to fix him or he would explode. It was very nerve-racking.

In my next dream I was pregnant. I was very excited about it. I had only told my family and mom (who was there). I had not even told my sister. I wanted to tell the world. So I decided to go on Facebook. I thought, "oh my sister would be mad if she found out on facebook."  Then as I was walking down the hall, I saw Alicea, (the youth pastor's wife who is due this week.) I stopped her and told her I was pregnant too and "won't it be great! My baby will be born in the same year as yours! Maybe they can get married!" I was so excited!

I had another unrelated dream about having dinner with my husband. (which we did last night, for our anniversary) In the dream he ordered something I didn't want, and I stepped on the tray while climbing down from an elevated picnic table that we were sitting at with an few old high school boyfriends. 

My last dream... I remember the best... and was the craziest...

I was driving down a residential street in a Cadillac. The street was dark feeling. My house from when I was 8 was on a hill to the left. There was a large dip for drainage to the side of the road before the yard started. As I was passing my house I noticed some very small black and brown objects moving in the road. I stopped, did a U-turn and went back to see what they were. I got out and picked them up. They we fetal Rottweiler puppies. There was five of them. They were no bigger than your thumb. I gathered them up and ran them into the house. My husband and kids came in the living room and I asked them to help me. We had Barbie bottles, and My husband got some bowls of cream, but I was yelling at him to go get some formula from the store. I picked the puppies off of my hand and body one by one. There were now far more than 5. The first four were standing on and squishing the runt of the litter. I was so sad for it... it died. After I got the five Rottweilers off, there were some golden retriever, and poodle fetal puppies too. Then I pulled off 3 white fake looking mice. I was disgusted with them and yelled for my daughter to throw them outside. There was also a gerbil looking one that drank a bunch of the milk and was now expanding to 'hand size' and about to explode. I yelled for the kids to take that one outside too, "Quick, before it explodes!"  I was then very frustrated that my husband had not left for the store, I was worried that the milk we had would not be good for them. So pulling the last one or two off of me I ran for the door to go get formula myself!

OK, so... interpretation time.

Pregnant dreams are great! They mean that you are pregnant with something... an idea, a ministry, a new direction.

I know what I am pregnant with, and these dreams only confirmed it. I have an eschatological message that I am sharing on another blog, and with anyone who will listen, but it's come to the point that I am ready to share in a bigger way.  I am working on the fashion show to go with it, but I think there may be opportunities coming to just speak even if that is not finished.

Alicea and her husband have heard a bit of my schpiel (sp) and have both told me (not necessarily about that specifically) that I should teach. My dream involving her was very pointed. I said that our babies would be born the same year! That's this year. I am certain that this is the year that I will be able to teach on eschatology.

The electronic baby makes me think of the internet and possibly my "end times" blog. 

My mom called me today to tell me that in the last Bible study session they had, Beth Moore said that she too believed we are in the Tribulation. This was huge news to me, because I know the denomination that Beth comes from does not hold that stance. Both of our denominations are decidedly pre-trib. So to have Beth speak against that REALLY fuels my fire. I respect her a lot, and it just empowers me to be bolder with my message. So again... It told me that surely, this is the time for my ministry!

My mom being a key person in the dreams is also significant because I specifically tell my mom the new things I find on the subject, and she is one that I am really trying to persuade. She also tells me everything that she hears about the subject. 

As far as the puppies go, if you've read previous posts you'll know that puppies (to me) represent youth. I mentioned just beginning the after church program with the teens. I have also recently volunteered to teach the 4-6th graders if we start a "Sunday school" class for them, cause right now they are in with the little kids (K-up) and it's just too beneath them, IMO. I'm not sure if these two things specifically were what the dream was about, but again (a reoccurring theme) that I'm saving puppies.  This time from the street. One of my biggest burdens with the end times is that there are kids here for it all. I want so badly to tell them about the times so that they will not be scared, but it's such a "parent's thing" to do, that I don't feel it's my place.

Perhaps this is speaking to that. I have actually thought of writing a children's book about the subject that is fictional, and fantastical, but still would 'prepare' them for the coming years.

OH... so much to think about! So much to get moving on... What a morning it has been.

"Wake up Call"

I thought God used an amusing way to wake me up this morning.
I woke up on time, but went back to sleep. (I have a bit of a head cold and had taken Nyquil last night.)

So back to sleep... I was dreamin... Don't even remember the dream... but at the very end, I got in my car (my little one; which is important because in the big one, the lights come on automatically, and the little car has manual lights,)
... and started driving. The housing area I drove through first was well lit, but when I got on a long stretch of highway it was black. I just assumed, "I'm fading back to sleep". Then a semi came out of nowhere with its big lights and flashed them at me signaling me to turn on my lights.

I woke up immediately.
and I do believe that was the whole point.

(If I wanna read into it, I could say... the car I was driving is what I consider my daughter's car. She seems to be 'driving without her lights on' these days. :-)

"Prayer in Dreams"

In last night's dream (the one I can remember), I was with my family in a Vegas type place.  We were in a nice hotel room/apartment looking out over the back wall of the building. The back of the building was covered in white twinkle lights. There was a party going on behind our building. I wanted to go.  We walked out of the room and down to our car. We got in and drove around back. It was just like Vegas where going around a hotel is an event in itself, so by the time we got to the back, we couldn't actually see the lights that I was aiming for. There was a massive parking structure and more 'hotel entry' road ahead that may have also led to parking, but my husband pulled into the first parking structure, a block or more away from our building. (My husband loves to take the tight turns up the parking levels fast when no one is around)... and that's just what he was doing. I was in the passengers seat scared as usual, and then it happened... He drove off the side of the structure! In front of us was a huge gorge with trees on the hill sides. The fall went on for miles. My kids and husband were silent as I said a family prayer out loud for all of us. "Thank you God, that we are coming home today..." The prayer went on and on with thanks. I thought of saying "please help..." but I stopped myself, knowing that we were surely dead at the bottom, so I just said "Thank you." I thought about my legs breaking on impact, but the impact never came. Still in my dream, I woke up surrounded by my family (Mom too). They told me I had been talking in my sleep. "You were about to die, and you were praying. It was beautiful," they said.

I can distantly remember having dreams where I woke up in the dream, but was still asleep; it usually had to do with needing to pee. I would dream that I woke up, got out of bed and went to the bathroom, only to realize that when I got back to bed, I still had to pee... and had to wake up for real.

I can't remember ever having a dream where I woke up to other people around me (all "Wizard of Oz' like).

I have woken up a few times before where my husband is there saying, "You were talking in your sleep." Nine out of ten times that I wake up talking, I'm praying. However, I am usually casting out a demon, or some other type of spiritual warfare, not "thanking" God. So this too, was a first.

And who knows if I was really speaking out loud this time. My husband didn't hear anything.

Do you smell in your dreams?

I have created a monster; My dog loves to be under the covers when he sleeps, but he's not a real sound sleeper. He woke me up every hour (starting at 1:30 - ending at 5:30) to re-cover him in his bed. Uggg. How do you un-train a bad habit? It is cold at night, so I feel bad if I leave him uncovered. My husband says I should teach him to pull up his own covers.  Maybe I should get him a sleeping bag that is slightly held open by something; he can crawl into like a pillow.

Anyway, on to the dream...(that I remember)...

This isn't quite the beginning, but I can't remember the beginning:

I was walking in an area that reminded me of an indoor street... like at the NY NY in Vegas. There was a pub up ahead and I saw my very first "love". (a boyfriend of mine that I met when I was 13. He is still a friend, but in the dream he looked like he did at age 16.)  Right as I saw him and was going to go talk to him, his sister walked up and greeted me. It took me a moment to recognize her because she had dyed her hair blonde and had it cut like Guy's sister (you may remember from other dreams, who just happens to be the girl that my "love" went out with directly after me.). 

Anyway, right after she talked to me I saw my best friend from Junior High, Jessica, looking the same as she did in Junior High. She was walking with a boy and looking very chic. I ran up to her to say Hi, but never actually talked. They walked straight into a photo shoot with another old friend, Jay Gibbs. He was using an elephant as a prop and had a cane in one hand and was on stilts (or maybe just platform shoes). Jessica and Jay and sometimes the other boy posed for multiple pictures while I avoided the camera. As I was avoiding one shot my foot slipped in some snow. Then Insectosaurus (from the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens") made a tidal wave of snow that I rode all the way down the hill sitting on a boogie board. As I got to the bottom of the hill I noticed that my dance shorts were inside out. I sat in the snow and took them off to turn them right side out. There was a crowd of people all around doing a bunch of nothing. A yard duty lady came over to make sure I wasn't exposing myself. I pointed out my nude colored dance shorts that were under the purple and black ones I was wearing. As I pulled back on my black and purple shorts they ripped in numerous places. When I stood up I had a huge hole from my belly to my crotch that revealed my nude dance shorts which looked like control top pantyhose. (It was not a good look.) I was looking in a mirror in a gift shop, and I turned to face a perfume cabinet when my nose caught a whiff something yummy. (This is one of the only dreams I can remember that I actually smelled something. Generally my smelling sense is not present in dreams.)

The cabinet was beautiful. It looked straight out of a fairy tale. The shelves were glass and all the perfume bottles were dainty and intricately designed. My eye was immediately drawn to two with peacocks on them. (I collect peacocks.) I just knew that the good smell must be coming from one of them. I smelled the first one, but it had no smell. I put it back and grabbed the second one. I could barely smell anything with that one too. Then I saw one that said "Icy blue" that was in a frosted blue bottle, not half as fancy. (I wore Ralph Lauren's "Blue" for the past 3 years until last October.) I picked it up and recognized that this was the yummy smell I had turned to look for. It was much fruitier than my normal "Blue" perfume, but still a very clean and crisp smell. A sales lady came over to talk to me. She asked what perfume I wore now. I explained that I had been wearing Prada's Orange Blossom perfume this year. She said, "Oh, you'll like that one then, It's very sweet as well, but different enough from yours." I agreed. The smell was heavenly.

Then... my dog woke me up.

No, I don't know the meaning of the dream. I think it was a pretty random hodge-podge of thoughts going on lately.  My son was watching Monsters Vs. Aliens a few days ago. My daughter has been wearing short dresses a lot lately, so she has also been wearing a lot of dance shorts under them. My bottle of "Blue" is almost completely gone, but I've been wearing Prada since October. I recently thought about buying another bottle of "Blue" just in case I wanted to go back to my old reliable. I'm not sure why Jessica, Jay, Shane, or Felicia were in the dream briefly, but whatever.

The thing that is most interesting to me is that I could smell. For that to have been 'turned on' seems something special. Why out of millions of dreams was this random one blessed with a sense of smell... and only for the one perfume? I mean really, the other two perfumes had no smell to speak of... that's odd. The two that shouted, "Pick me!", were not good. What's the significance of that? hmmmm. Something to think on for the rest of my day.

"Make Your Own Barbie"

Last night's dream was of me shopping in a large store, kinda "home-depot"y but with toys and things.

I was in the process of creating my own Barbie.

You could pick her ethnicity, her hair, her facial expression, and her clothes.

I picked a Latina Barbie with closed mouth and dark brown hair. She came in a pink dress with her hair in a side pony tail. I didn't want the side pony tail or the pink dress, and I was trying to figure out how to undo her hair with my mind while she was still in the box.  A voice told me that I could pick which ever outfit I wanted and it would be part of the price, and though logically I knew I could change her hair when I got her home, it still bugged me that I couldn't change it there.

I think the dream had to do with my daughter. Friday night she went to a 70's party and I dressed her up and curled her hair for the part. Her hair looked great down, but she wanted a side pony tail. So she got her side pony tail and I was inwardly a little sad about it.

As a child I was a Barbie fiend... all the way up to when my daughter was Barbie age. We did at one point "create our own Barbies" when they had that special going online. You could pick the ethnicity, the facial expression, the hair, and the outfit. We made one just like my dream, but her pony tail (picked by my daughter) was in the back, and her dress was a purple burnout dress, also picked by my daughter.  Perhaps the dream was just something about my choices not always being my daughter's choices and that I get frustrated when she picks what I think is worse. Shallow, yes, but running through my subconscious at some level... even when it comes to fashion and hair styles.

What's in the Pool?

My daughter's boyfriend is visiting, so I had to spend most of the morning playing cards with them. They are now on their way to San Fransisco for the Supercross race with my husband.

I'm using the above as an excuse for not posting yesterday, and for forgetting much of last night's dream. ;-)

Literally all I remember was that Nick (her bo) had a twin in the dream and while the real nick and my daughter were sitting chatting, the twin and I were walking around a pool. It was winter time, so the pool was freezing cold. Something dropped in and the twin was going to retrieve it. I told him not to because it was cold.  I told him to wait for tomorrow when it was day time and warmer.

What I'm hoping that means is that today is going to be better than yesterday. :-) Last night was a bit awkward because technically they broke up months ago and are not officially back together. So though they both like each other, there is an unspoken 'hold' on things. My daughter wasn't completely open with my husband and I about where 'they are at' right now, so awkwardness abounds. 

I hope they are able to figure it out on the San Fransisco trip. I pray that my husband is nice and understanding, but also that there is complete honesty between all three of them.

Why do teenagers make everything so complicated?

Be real for crying out loud!

Escape

The dreams starts at a representation of my parent's home. I'm in the bathroom, just took a shower. When I get out, I realize that we won't have enough time to take Nick (my daughter's boyfriend) swimming. I talk with my parents and my daughter about it.  They suggest going to see a movie. 

When we get to the theater I never notice my daughter or Nick again. I get very wrapped up in the movie; like I'm in it.

The movie is very violent. I am with a hand full of inmates in jail, but we are the good guys. It seems that we have no weapons, and all the inmates around me are talking about escape.  The guards come to the bars of our cell. We have something posted on the wall that they want to take down. One lady inmate with me encourages them to reach in and get it. The guard tells us all to stand back. As he reaches his hand in the inmate lady throws her hand from across the cell at his hand. Her hand has wolverine claws poking out of it and it's on a string. The claws puncture the guards hand, and the inmate pulls the string back.  Again and again this happens. I am suddenly aware that I'm watching the movie, not in it, and I notice the crowd around me, and am self-conscious that I have brought my ten year old son to this rated R movie. The name "Bakugan" and there are three stages right in the midst of the seating. Characters are being pushed off into the stage, from the seats, and they are dying in this smokey liquid.
comes to mind. I think we're at a Bakugan movie, which explains to me why my son is there.  As I tell myself that, I look around and there are other areas with a more cartoon like scene. The movie theater has morphed into an outdoor amphitheater

We start to exit the theater by walking forward down the seats.  An usher tells us to go to the side, so we don't fall in. We walk by two stages, then down.

We get into a small Italian Fiat and drive on very crowded cobblestone streets. A cop on a motorcycle tries to pull me over but there is no side to pull over to. I go through three streets looking for a place then finally stop at a market.  It is now just my son and I with the cop and a dog.

The cop stops to get some dried mushroom looking things and other herbs. As he is taking a while I tell my son that we're going to try to make a break for it. We tell the dog to stay behind.  It takes twice for the dog to listen to us. The cop is looking around for us.  We start to crawl through the crowd. We crawl under a trampoline, and another, on the side of what looks like a market square with all sorts of goods.

We are headed to school to pick up my daughter. 

When we get to the school we are still crawling.  (It is a similar school  to another dream I have had, with sterile long hallways and few doors.) The hallways are like rolling hills. We still sense that the cop is on our tail.  Finally I say, " We don't have to crawl; lets try boucing."

So we bounce. We bounce on the floor like we're bouncing on a trampoline, still moving forward down the hall.  We get to the library and start looking for my daughter. She is in a crowd of people, some of which are my old classmates.

Then I woke up.

Wow. It was all one dream, with a fairly central theme, but so many different settings. Very strange. Yesterday was an interesting day. I watched a cute little movie called "The Maiden Heist". I found out my son hadn't even really started on a huge project that is due soon, so we had to run to the library... to find nothing on the shelves... then to the book store... nothing. Then home... ordered a book on line with rush delivery since we are leaving on a 2 week trip Monday. Shortly after that we left for church and stayed gone til bed time.

Some of that may explain why the library at the end, and why the school in general... but what about the rest?

I'd like to think that going from crawling to bouncing in the hallways with my son is saying that together we can get past his lagging in school work.  This is the first year that math has gotten hard for him, and he often cries while we do homework.  Then finding out he hasn't even started his report. UGGG. I really hope we can go from "crawling" to "bouncing". 

And perhaps crawling under trampolines was symbolic of also taking the hard, not fun, road when there is obviously something fun right on top of you. We were crawling out of fear of the cop. Who is the cop? His teacher? (He does fear her.  You would too as a fourth grader.)

Going back though, to the beginning of the dream, I don't know if I understand the stadium stuff or the movie. (We are going to an ancient Roman Colosseum in Jordan on our trip next week.) (And a few days back my daughter showed me a you-tube video of two guys getting wolverine claws... gruesome, but funny.) I guess that's a little of an explanation, but I'd still like to know if they had any meaning, or just my brain flushing itself.

Because my son was present and active the whole dream, I am sure it was about him and me together. But honestly, except for the bouncing, it wasn't a "feel good" dream. It was tense. 

hmmm...

My Daughter's Bo

I had a few dreams last night, but I can only remember the one that was in my head upon awakening.

A little background first.

I often dream that I am my daughter.  Some times I will be in her body; other times I will be in my body but living her life.  In the past month or so I have had multiple dreams where I am her fighting to keep her man.

My daughter has a boy...  that would/will be her boyfriend now that she is sixteen and allowed to date. He lives in San Diego but is coming up for a visit this weekend.  There is a good deal of debate going on between my husband and I on how things will be when he gets here. Exactly what are they allowed to do etc.  One question up for debate is can he walk her home from school alone.  Which leads us into the dream...

As is the "plan" I  drop off Nick to walk home with my daughter.  I drive home to the house I lived at when I was 10-12 at Edwards AFB. Inside, it resembles the house I lived in at VAFB when I was 16-18. Nick's mom and sister are there cooking. I sample Greta's cooking; It's cheese in pasta sauce that looks like fat cells, just like my dream a few nights ago. (OK... SOMETHING is up with the fat cell cheese thing!)

The young couple is taking too long to walk home... obviously they aren't walking.

I go to get them... can't find keys.

I find them, and drive over to the house that I dropped him off at (not school after all). They are there, but not doing anything wrong. I take them home.

Nick sits down on the lazy boy.   (In my own body, but hopefully acting at my daughter now), I kiss him. I have lettuce in my mouth, and give him some during the kiss.

We start to talk about talk about the disgrace of Veggie Monster... no longer Cookie Monster.

I see a diorama of sesame street. Veggie Monster has a comb over hairdo, very geeky.

I have to go for my Wednesday morning dog hike, but I'll be thinking of meaning...

Kissing with lettuce... that's got to be something.  And of course this strange cheese re-occurrence.