Swimming with Little Audrey

Last night's dream came out of left field.
In a couple of weeks we are going to Hawaii. My parents are going to meet my family there, and they are bringing with them their "god-daughter", Audrey Gore. My mom and Audrey's mom were best friends. Audrey's mom died a few years ago and her dad remarried without complete approval of the kids. Things have been awkward ever since.
Anyway, Audrey is now graduating from college, and for her present my parents offered to bring her to Hawaii with us. So I will be seeing her soon. (Last time I saw her was at Thanksgiving, which was the first time in years.) However, I have not been actively thinking of Audrey at all, and that is why the dream caught me off guard.
I have never dreamt specifically about Audrey. I have dreamt about her "family", especially back when her mother was alive. I've dreamt of their house often in the past too, but never Audrey specifically. I know this dream was to prepare me for Hawaii in some way, now I just have to figure it out. I thought the back-story would best be told before we got into the dream, so there you have it.

In the dream I was in a very large and deep pool holding baby (1 1/2- 2 yrs old) Audrey near the edge. She had her arms around my neck and I was holding the edge with one hand and cradling her with the other. My parents were swimming with us. The pool was fairly crowded, but not overly so. It was Olympic sized, and didn't have a shallow end. Concrete was all around. Because of the depth and the crowd I talked to my parents about taking Audrey someplace else. I got out and we walked outside to a place I had been before. It was a hot tub that's been in my dreams before... not too long ago. I got in with Audrey. There were college age(the age that Audrey is in real life) boys in the hot tub. While we were in the hot tub (which had two levels; we were in the lower one), I noticed the scenery. It was very different from what had been around the hot tub in my previous dream. It was like a swamp/lake. I've dreamt of that place before too. (In the previous dream I think there were alligators and I was swimming for my life.) Anyway, as I looked back the hot tub even had moss and algae growing on the edges. It all looked very old and run down. At this point I thought that the area was an old camp ground I had visited in my youth and that things had just gotten over grown. I picked up Audrey and we made our way up and out of the hot tub. (As we did, I worried about the boys noticing that I hadn't shaved. haha.) One mentioned to another that I was old when I was going up the steps. I turned and said, "I'm only 35!"
I looked down at the swamp/lake below (the hot tub was up on a cliff... but only like 20 feet high). There was an old mock pirate ship that I remembered from my "camp days". It was all covered with algae and moss and yuck, but there were still boys playing on it, so we went down to it. (I don't know how... that part kind of skipped.) We walked around on the ship briefly then decided to go back up. The side of the cliff had tree roots gnarling in and out of it and some trunks that started at the base were half buried in the side too. Audrey held on around my neck as I pulled myself up the side of the cliff on a rope/vine that was used for this purpose. Half way up, I noted that I had not taken the easy way, and that only 10 feet to my right there was a much better way. We would go down and try that way instead. Then I woke up.

When Audrey was little we all lived in Italy. Every now and again we would go to indoor water parks (usually in Austria). I can remember at least once going to one with Audrey and her family. It was the one time I attempted a flip off a high dive. I knocked the wind out of myself and couldn't breath even when I reached the surface of the water. It was so scary. The indoor section of the dream reminded me of that pool though... no shallow end, big, somewhat crowded with strangers, and scary.
Swimming in dreams is typically a refreshing or cleansing thing. However, noting the swampiness of our setting outside, I'm not sure this "cleansing" went as planned.
The fact that Audrey was represented as a baby just breaks my heart. She is the youngest of her siblings, and has no doubt had the hardest time of any of them with her mother's death and father's remarriage. She is worried about what the rest of her life is going to look like with college over and not feeling welcome to stay at her old house. It's a very deep pool indeed to be in.
The outdoor part of the dream seems like a lot of "trying" on my part, without any real success. A hot tub full of boys her age could be an attempt to lose her sorrow by being preoccupied with boys, but being a baby shows maybe she's not quite ready for that. (Maybe)
Then I take her down to a childhood play structure (the pirate ship) but it's all gross too. There's corrosion on both the hot tub and the pirate ship. So keeping her in a "child" state is not the answer either.
Then there's the mystery of going up out of that situation the hard way... realizing there is an easier way, but waking up before I took the easy way... all the while, Audrey still as a baby around my neck.

Well... I pray that our time in Hawaii would be healing, growing, and refreshing. I hope is some way, I'm able to help, and not make things worse. Dreams are typically warnings when they show bad things, so I consider myself warned to not make "cleansing plans" for Audrey. I'll just follow God's lead, not my own ideas.

Nursery News

Last night's dream woke me up with a start this morning.
I can't remember the first half of it, though I know it was a long one from the fuzzy imagery that remained.
The last part however, I remember vividly.
I was helping at a nursery that was in a two story house. There were three other workers aside from myself, all female. We had a hand full of infants and a few toddlers. The workers were speaking in broken sentences mixed with baby sign-language. At first I didn't understand why they were not speaking the whole sentence, but then I watched the head chick and saw that she was acting out things and really only using the words that were important to the idea she was trying to convey. The head lady started going up stairs and I picked up a little Chinese girl. She was around 6 mos old and as I picked her up I felt that there was fat on the back of her head. It was an odd thing to notice, but that and her round face, and body swaddled in a white blanket were the things that stood out to me.
I put her down on a mat on the floor laying face up and then I turned to see breaking news on the TV to my right. The news was of a plane crash. My entire vision went completely to the screen. The picture was of a large cartoon statue of a guy in a baseball cap. The announcer said, "This is all the footage we have from the tragedy that just occurred in Florida." He mentioned Joe Maloof as the owner of the team who's stadium had been crashed into,(and who's image the cartoon figure was). I also saw my son's principle in the footage.
When the camera showing the cartoon figure stopped they cut to another camera that showed a large marching band dressed in sky blue and white leaping from the top of the stadium to their death. They were all looking up and behind them and screaming as they jumped. Another camera showed another area that looked more like an enormous mall with ladies with bags and other random people jumping off of glass partial walls and past escalators and fountains and other "mall fixtures". Everybody was running like chickens with their heads cut off and jumping off of walls. The plane they mentioned was a Pan Am flight (which of course went under in the early 90's).

What do you make of that?
Well... I can see some of my yesterday popping through...
I was talking with Kelly yesterday about adoption and the sad state of unwanted Chinese baby girls. That explains the baby, though not the fat on the back of her head.
I was also reading a book last night (while my son was at drum lessons) about WWII. The book is Noah Hutching's autobiography, and I just happen to be in the part of the book about his experience at the war and fighting the Japanese.
This could be why I was dreaming of a plane coming down... though I hadn't got to any planes crashing til my reading this morning. Plus, those were fighter planes, not passenger planes, and not Pan-Am, and not in Florida, and nothing to do with sports or any Maloof family member.
That's one reason I wanted to write about it this morning... I have no idea why I dreamed it. Nothing in my world relates.
So... that's it. I guess I'll think on it some more, but otherwise, I'll just wait and see if something pops up.

FIRE!

Last night's dream started with me babysitting some kids (aged 5-12ish) and walking them to the park near their house.
We left from their house, which reminded me of base housing on one of the AF bases where I grew up, (Edwards AFB). We took a few turns and were suddenly in a very industrial looking part of town at a park that sat between a subway station and warehouses. Even in the dream I found this weird, so I asked the oldest girl how the scenery had changed so quickly. As we were talking a group of policemen with a pack of K-9 shepherds walked to the park. The main handler of the pack walked right past us, and I went up to him to ask what was up. He mentioned a fire a few blocks away that was spreading quickly and he pointed in the direction of the house that we had come from.
For some reason I thought it was important to go back and get things out of the house so I ran back with my son who was with us.
We got to the house (which was now more like a trailer in a trailer park) and the fire had not reached it yet.
Inside the house it was obvious that the family that lived there only had one small baby girl, and that they liked to collect very cool wooden dolls that looked like they came from Germany or Austria or Switzerland. I started gathering what I thought looked the most expensive and told my son to gather things too. Then I called my mom's cell phone to ask what she thought I should do, since the people were her friends. (Either she, or the people, or both were vacationing in Hawaii.)She mentioned the diapers and practical things. "Oh... ok".
As I walked out with my arms full I saw smoke rising from below the house all around the foundation. I yelled for my son to come on out... that we wouldn't get any more we just needed to go. We ran out and onto a gravel drive with pine trees all around... Then I woke up.

The only part that came directly from life is the Hawaii part. I spoke to my mom yesterday about us all going to Hawaii together in May.
The dolls could be reminiscent of Christmas decorations I like that I have seen since this season started. The kids reminded me a little of the kids in the Narnia stories, which I'm looking forward to seeing this week, and I have seen a few German shepherds lately...
But really... nothin.
I do find it interesting that the last dream I remembered well was about a Tidal wave, and the one before that about an earthquake... Now here we have a fire. Next I should have a tornado... oh wait, I had one of those already too, kinda, with the hurricane winds that knocked off chunks of the skyscrapers in NY. (I think I wrote about that one on here.)
Anyway... I'm just happy I remembered a dream this week... it's been a while.

Kid's Driving

My daughter is finally home, which means someone else is able to have the puppy sleep with them. :-) And that leads to me remembering more dreams!

Last night I had three that I remember.
One was of my friend Barbara's daughter Brooklyn, driving.
Brooklyn is only 11. Barbara and I were sitting in the back seat and her two daughters were in the front. We drove out of a gravel parking lot and on to a busy one lane road going the wrong way. We drove on the shoulder past a steady stream of cars and trucks. The whole time I was panicking and telling Barbara to hop over the seat and take over.
We finally arrived at an apartment building and went inside to their house. (They don't really live in an apartment, but they did here.) We stayed inside and got ready for a day of school. My son was with me and we were ready to go. We looked at the clock and it was past time to leave. Then Barbara reminded me that her daughters were home schooled now (which they are), so they really didn't care if school had started; it didn't matter to them. I was a bit upset, because it did matter to me, and we were going to be late to the first day of school. She suggested that we not go and just show up the next day. I woke up after that.

The second dream involved my son being a toddler again, and peeing in a sink while I held his body up so he could reach. It was an odd dream, but sure enough, I woke up having to pee.

The third dream was at work. I was back at St. John's and was assigned the task of going through a room full of samples. I went through piles and piles of clothes and accessories. The piles were mostly clothes from my Disney job not from St. John's. (Mostly little girl's princess dresses.) I put a huge stack aside for myself, saying that "my nieces will love these." Then a co-worker came by and asked how it was going. I told her she could go through the piles I didn't want. Then she questioned my free-for-all by reminding me that last year we saved everything til the end and had a sample sale with it all. "Oh yeah", I thought. So then I put everything back into categories and went over to a large metal shelf and started sorting through briefcases and other men's accessories.
That was the end of that dream.

Any meanings? Well... Kids ran the show in all three dreams, either directly or in-directly. But is there a lesson... I'm not so sure.
I do need to call Barb; she hasn't called since her daughters have been home from their dad's house.

My Ministry Path

What I remember from Tuesday morning (yesterday):
I was in a large banquet hall with other church women. I went towards the kitchen through another room that was empty but could be used to expand the dining area. There was a trail of dog poop on the floor. I told my friend Elenice that I would clean it up. So I bent down and began to wipe it up with paper towels. My friend Jennifer M. also came in while I was there and talked to me. (Both of these ladies represent ministries at my old church.)
After that I went to my pastor's house which was more like a house I have dreamed of before as the Coward's house or as Miss Michele's house. It's a large house with shag carpet, a sunken living room off to the left of the entry, and a hall way to the right. In the dream I was there to mentor the pastor's son Spencer. Both my husband and I were supposed to do it, but my husband had not wanted to come. I got there and stood looking at some art on the wall while there was a gathering of women in the background having a meeting of sorts.
In the dream I never got any real time with Spencer. I left because I was insecure about what I had been asked to do; with out my husband there I didn't think it was my place to mentor a young adult male.
After that I had a dream or a vision (inside my dream) of an embryo inside of me and it's birth. It was up on a screen. Watching, I knew it was Spencer's baby, but not a real baby. It was symbolic and I knew it.
I walked into a large church sanctuary full of people I know. I sat near the back. I saw my friend Ann Marie walk in and down the middle aisle. She had on a police uniform and her hair looked like Linda Carter's. She looked gorgeous. Everybody starred at her and she said hello in a very commanding voice. Everyone was happy to see her. I observed the scene at a distance. When the service was over I was walking out and told another friend that I had had Spencer's baby. Ann Marie, Pastor Scott (Spencer's dad), and a couple other people gathered around me congratulating me; saying things like, "That's great!" and "Go tell everyone!"
Ann Marie pushed me towards the front saying, "It's so great that you will finally be up front."
I got to the front, and woke up.

So what's the significance of this one? Well, Elenice is a friend who helped me start my "Beauty for Ashes" ministry. Jennifer is a friend that helped me start my "Mission Blessing" ministry. (Both ended before I left Harvest church, though the remnants remain to some extent.) Ann Marie was my only spiritual leader friend in my last two years of high school. She stood by me even when I got pregnant and had my daughter. And Spencer, I would say, has the greatest potential of my pastor's kids to be a pastor/speaker/something some day. However, Spencer is also my last name and could have something to do with that instead. Either way... the multi -purpose banquet hall in the beginning speaks volumes about putting in my time cleaning up poop in and for various ministries. I think the end when Ann Marie is saying that I will finally be up front, is talking about my next ministry 'baby' being more up front than behind the scenes or as a clean up crew.

"Where Is His Head?"

I'm on vacation in Spain right now. I wish I would have been able to use the computer every morning cause the dreams here are crazy, but I haven't had the time.

I'll start with Monday morning's dream, cause I did at least get to write that one down (just not on the blog...yet.)

Monday morning’s dream:
My husband, daughter, son, and I were all late for school and were driving all over an unfamiliar city trying to get there. (Yesterday we got a little lost in the city of Malaga,Spain, and drove around for a while frustrated. This was a lot like that.)
Anyway, I was in a horse drawn carriage driving and my husband was driving an open back vehicle (not sure what). My daughter was sitting beside me and my son was standing on the back of my husband’s vehicle in front of us. My son was holding on to a bar in the back and standing on the bumper area. I was fine with that. My husband, however, was turning around telling him to sit down. I started arguing with him saying to leave him alone. Then the unthinkable happened. My son let go of the bar he had been holding, and fell. I was directly after them, and had no time to stop. The horses barely missed him, as did my wheels. But the truck that was directly behind me ran over his head with its second wheel. By then we had stopped our vehicles, and I was running to see if he was dead. I saw his body, but not his head. (There was no blood.) I was screaming and bawling my eyes out. I frantically lifted (with super human strength) all the tires to look for his head. The tires were transparent and there was no head or splat anywhere. In one of the tires I thought I saw a baby’s head from the top, but it was just something round inside the tire. I was ballistic. Crying, screaming, throwing tires left and right. I was mad at my husband and daughter for not seeming sad. My husband was trying to stay calm and rationalize the event. He even pulled out my son’s baby book and looked through it. He found a poem about a river, and read it. He then asked (because the poem had a word that repeated over and over, sounded like “La”,) if all rivers were the same river because they all had that word. I threw a tire right by his head, and one by my daughter’s head. I thought about who was at fault, but settled on nothing. I was crying so hard that I woke myself up.
(…and I’m certainly glad I did; It was a terrible dream!)

The only other dreams I have ever had about my children dying were ones where they fell, and I dove after them. This is the first one that I could not follow or try to save them; It was horrible. I don’t know if I’ve ever cried that hard in a dream. I have no idea what it means, if anything. We are on vacation, and sleeping on hard uncomfortable beds, so maybe it’s just that. My only other thought is about how I am frustrated that my husband doesn’t seem to care about my son as much as my daughter. By that I don’t really mean less care as much as less time devoted. But the dream only says something about that in part. Why was his head missing? Why did the truck just run over his head? What about the horses? What about the river poem? I have lots of questions. I hope there is nothing to it… nothing at all.

On tour, and Babies in the UK

Yes, It's been a while. Things at home were not conducive to dream journaling... and now that time has past the only dream I remember from the past few weeks is one about my Nanny (Mom's mom) reprimanding me for being topless.

Last night, however, I said a prayer before bed to ask God what He wanted me to do about my dream journaling... If He was going to talk to me that way any time soon, or if I should just let it go for now.

Well.. I had a night jammed packed with dreams, so I'm taking it as a, "No, I'm not done with that."

The first dream I am fairly sure was just an alert.

It was simply me talking to my son about something he was doing, and I kept saying, "It's too late." "It's too late, you can't do that now." "It's too late." I awoke from the dream to pee at 2:30. I could hear voices in his room. (He's having a sleep over). I knew immediately I needed to go in there and tell them it was too late, they needed to go to bed. So I did.

I went back to sleep and had a dream where I was on a tour with a big group in an open air jeep/bus. Somehow I got stuck on the towing hitch with my legs under the jeep and holding on to the handle in the back. I think I had just been sitting there while we were stopped somewhere, and then the driver took off, and I was still there.

My mom was on the jeep and she alerted the driver of my position, but he just yelled back if I'd be alright til the next stop.  I said OK, and off we drove. At one point I remember mentioning that it was like water skiing... but not in a good way.  The town that we were traveling through seemed a lot like the Long Beach/Naples area. But when we finally stopped it was in an old western town with dust roads etc.  I got off and went inside an adobe low ceiling-ed building with my mom and my sister. There were multiple small rooms at different levels, only a step up or down from the next. In the rooms were old artifacts and antique treasures. I found an old bustier, and took it into a small bedroom (now very old west style, wood) to try it on. My mom and my sister came with me. The bustier was too small in the boob area, but I kept telling my mom that when I lost weight it would fit, so I was going to get it anyway. 

A voice came over a loud speaker saying it was time to make our way back to the bus. The shop would do all final purchases now. I took off the bustier and had it along with something else lacey in my hands debating on whether or not to get them both.  A woman dressed like an animal, in a brown furry suit, snuck out from behind a chest in the bedroom and crept up to us. It was a little creepy, cause we then knew that she had been in there the whole time. When she got to us (still squatting like an animal) she started reaching with her exaggerated fingers, grabbing at the items in my hand. After a minute she started talking and saying, "You'll have to put them back... you don't have time... it's time to go." Her tone got more frantic til the end of the dream when she was saying, "Just drop them and go.... go."  At that moment a friend from the dressing room/bedroom next door came in and told me to mention her room lady as the sales person for my purchases. She explained that she liked her lady, and that they worked on commission. I got a quick image of her lady in my head as I walked out of my room to go to the cashier.

Looking back on the dream it seems very strange that the animal lady didn't want me to buy things if they worked on commission. So what was that? What was any of it? It's my first "tour" dream since the month we got back from our Israel tour. It's quite a different picture from other dreams where I'm driving, or even being in the seating area. I was being dragged behind... though not actually on the ground. And why my mom and sister? Or the bustier? 

The next dream I had last night woke me up at 5:30 with a gag reflex.

The dream did not involve me at all, I was just being shown an area and it's problems. The place was in the UK.  Conditions were terrible. Riots had left the city looking like a ghost town. Then my attention was directed at one man. He was an older black man, and he started to describe his situation. His kids had left him in charge of his grand kids, and the number of children he was watching just kept multiplying. (I don't think they were ALL family, but maybe.) There were all ages of children, but towards the end there were just more and more newborn babies. They were being born out of his (or my, or ???) mouth. I felt a gag reflex every time a baby came out. They were all in the fetal position and all had brown skin. I woke up and even heard myself gag.

I'd say that the scene looked very doomsday-ish but at the same time there were just more and more babies. Perhaps the babies were spiritual babies. hmmmm.

Take the Wheel, Clean the Baby, and Dress Up.

I slept great last night... I bought some "breathe right strips"... Thank you to the inventor of those!

My first dream started in a parking lot. I can't remember too much of it, but I remember the main part, which is that my ten year old son was driving the car while my daughter and I rode in it... Me in the back seat. At one point he turned and was on the freeway facing on coming traffic. I tried to talk him through turning back around, but some cars started coming and he froze. When the next opportunity appeared I jumped over the center console and took over driving.

(I think this is as plain as it sounds... I'm letting a ten year old drive me around... I need to stop!)

My second dream was about a baby. The baby was a girl, maybe 4 months old. My mom and I (and I think my daughter) were all taking care of her. She looked a lot like my sister's daughter with curly brown hair, and a button nose and big eyes. She had on a red frilly dress. She wasn't mine, but I was helping. I took her to the bathroom to change her diaper. I was holding her by the belly and running water over her butt, wiping her clean. Then as I was drying her off I got angry and was being intentionally rough with her. I wasn't outright shaking her, but I was jerking her around and had a mean look on my face. I was frustrated with the situation... which had something to do with the baby.

(This one, I'm not positive, but I think has something to do with my daughter's trouble. I think the baby represents my daughter's "fruit" so-to-speak. I'm trying to help clean it up, but it's frustrating, and mainly I just wanna hurt the little 'red dress wearing' thing. )

My third dream was a good one, thank God. I was with my sister and we were kids. The look we had going was based on a favorite picture from my childhood. (In the picture we were at my Grandma's house and we had on fancy dresses and some of her makeup.) In the dream we had choices of piles of frilly dresses and skirts and boas to dress-up in. We had our hair curled and mine was in pig tails (as was often the case growing up). We had lip gloss on too. We were dressing up and dancing around enjoying being little girls. It was a very enjoyable dream!

(I think this one is a flipped coin from the MANY clothes trying on/sister dreams I've had in the past few months. In all the past dreams I've been a teen or an adult and the clothes rarely fit, and it's rarely 'even' between us and rarely fun. This one, being free and innocent, and just being ourselves, we had a great time. All the clothes fit, and we enjoyed each others company.)

Half Fake Babies

Yesterday there was a baby in my dream... a real baby, that I know, last night, there was two babies, and they were fake... hmmmm...

The dream started at drama practice. I was there with Tracy, and my daughter and other other drama people (from church). I had been given lines and we were practicing my delivery. The backdrop was white and formless.

I don't remember the first part of the line, but the second part was, "I see what you mean". I had a make-up compact in my hand and my back turned to the group. I turned and said my line angrily. I did this a few times, then asked if it would be better if I said it with a bit of surprise and a softer voice... ,"blah blah blah... Oh, I see what you mean." At that point I was holding a baby. The baby was a doll... at least from the waist down. The legs were plastic and stiff in a seated position; they hinged at the thighs. 

I walked with the baby over to a bunk bed right inside a small room a few yards away. My sister was on the top bunk with another baby boy. It looked fairly real, and I thought of him as hers. She wanted me to take him for a minute while she adjusted something. I stood on the ledge of the bottom bunk, (as I often did as a child, to be able to reach the top bunk) and held out my free arm. I was holding the other baby in the crook of my left arm and holding the top bunk rail with my left hand. She gave me the baby, and I realized his legs were plastic as well. I couldn't get a good hold on him because of my positioning. I asked her to take him back, that I couldn't hold him, but she argued that she couldn't do it either.

That was the end.

Given that my sister was on her top bunk, I'd like to take it literally as being about my sister, but my mind keeps thinking of my agenda this morning, which is to go see a new space with my art group the "Swell Sisters". The space is on the second floor, (like a bunk bed) and this is a "baby" of ours. 

The bottom floor of the building is a dance studio. I'm hoping that there will be something there for me as well. I was a dancer as a kid, and am really wanting to get back into that. 

Anyway, I imagine I'll have a better grasp on what the dream is about after my meeting this morning. I will be looking for parallels.

Dreaming about other people

Well, I'm happy to say that most of my dreams were good last night. Yay!

I had three that I can remember.

The first began in a class room. A boy named Lee from my 5th grade class had started a rumor about me. I don't remember what the rumor was, or even if it was mentioned in the dream; it was simply known that he had started one. I was searching for a seat, weighing my options. I sat towards the front in a desk just like the ones in elementary school. Partially through the class I got up and moved to a cluster of friends. Among the friends was my best friend from college: Ramin. He was sitting with 3-4 other people with their desks all pushed up next to each other creating a table. I knew the people, but I can't remember who they were. As soon as our desks were all together an Indian feast was served to us. There were at least 6 dishes served, family style. I picked up each and took two of most things and passed them on. One dish looked like fried firecrackers. It was rolled up like an egg roll but only 1 1/2 long and with colorful tassels poking out one end. Another dish was very large raviolis. There were also dates and raisins that dripped with honey and when I put them on my plate I watched the honey drizzle from the spoon folding itself in a golden ribbon. It was mesmerizing. There was naan bread and other things that I don't know the name of that I've had at the Indian restaurant in town. ...and that was the extent of the dream.

The next dream was simply about my old pastor's wife moving to an older section of town. The section of town she moved to is closer to the church, and to one of her close friends. The house had a pool and she had invited some women over. The only thing that I did in the dream was ponder why she had moved. The reasons I gave (about being closer, and near her friend) are the only ones I came up with.

The last dream was the only disturbing one of the night.

I went to visit my friend Paige. (Which I haven't done in a VERY long time, even though she lives in the same town.) My husband went with me. We were mainly there to see her baby. (This is how long I haven't been to her house... Last time I was there Lily was a baby, now I think she's 5.) In the dream Lily was less than a year old. I was playing with her, taking her hat off and on, off and on. She wanted it on, but was laughing at the game we had devised.  There were happy smiles all around, and then the men left the room and Paige started talking to me about marriage. I don't remember what she said about it, all I know is that I started  listing off friends, in my head, that are in bad marriages. What is interesting is that I listed a couple that aren't in bad marriages. One being a very good friend of mine who never complains about her husband. In the dream  I could see her confession unfold in front of me, like I was there, in her bed room. She explained to me that she had cheated on her husband. It had only been one night  at a party of some sort. I cried as she told me, trying to understand how she could do such a thing. After the thought finished, I was back talking to Paige, and thinking of other bad marriages.

That was the end of the dream.

I don't have any ideas about  what the dreams mean... if anything. But I'll connect with the key players in the dreams and make sure all is well.

:-)

It's hard to know when you dream about other people, if the dream is really about them, or about something they represent in your life, or what.

"Up a Ladder"

I went to bed last night at 2:00. So I was OUT.

I do, however, remember part of one dream. 

I was at a house that I have dreamed of before. The closest thing to this house that I can think of is my Aunt Ella Ray's house. It's a big house, but has small rooms because it was built in a time that didn't do "great rooms" or "family/kitchen combos". In the dream I had to go upstairs and was holding an arm full of cosmetics/toiletries. There were two people at the bottom of the ladder I had to climb (like a drop down attic ladder, though upstairs was not an attic), and there was a small child/baby upstairs. I was climbing the ladder and I dropped a bottle of shampoo. I asked if someone below would hand it to me, but they wouldn't. At that point I only had like a third of the rungs of the ladder left to climb. The the baby started coming down the ladder. I was thrown off guard and started trying to help. I don't remember if I sat the rest of the toiletries on the landing, or if I dropped them too, but I had to grab on to the rails that were at the top blocking off the hole from the three sides that were not where the ladder attached. (My godparents had a stairway up to the rec- room floor that was blocked on three sides with a rail. I fell down those steps once when I was a little girl... knocked out my front tooth, which was fake, cause I had knocked out the real baby tooth earlier doing a flip off the side of the pool.)

Anyway, I held on to the rails, with my arms stretched to their fullest, as the baby was climbing down, (her butt in my face).  No one would help me. I was leaning back giving her room and was afraid to let go of one hand to help her with, because if she put her weight on me, we might both fall.

That's all I remember.

After I have a big enough pool of dreams on here, I'm looking forward to seeing patterns with the places I dream of.  I'm always very intrigued about where something is in dreams. Knowing that I have multiple reoccurring locations in my dreams that really aren't an actual place fascinates me.

When you dream, do you dream of places you know? Do you compile places together? Is it like mine where the place reminds you of somewhere but looks nothing like it?  Do you dream of houses? malls? hotels?  Do you dream in the outdoors more, or inside more?

"Pregnant Dreams"

A little foreground...

Yesterday I started the "Truth Project" with the junior high and high school students after church. I'm very excited about that.  

Our youth pastor's baby is due Friday, so that has also been on my mind.

Yesterday was my 11th wedding anniversary. 

I went to bed last night praying that I would have some worth while dreams.

BOY did I!

I had one of a carnival... being there with kids from a class. My son's kindergarten teacher was there, along with many other teachers. One was very pregnant and jumped on a trampoline, fell, but smiled. She was beautiful. There was a fence by the park that was significant.

The next dream I had was that I was given an electronic baby. It was very "real" in size and shape, but had a screen and gears on it's face. It pooped... real baby poop and I went to clean it up in the sink. My mother was there to help me, but we kept hitting the babies head with the door, or the sink edge, or the spout. I was getting mad at my mom and frustrated with myself. The water was not good for the baby. (Duh, he was electric). So the screen went blank like we had killed him. Then words came across it saying that we had to do some steps to fix him or he would explode. It was very nerve-racking.

In my next dream I was pregnant. I was very excited about it. I had only told my family and mom (who was there). I had not even told my sister. I wanted to tell the world. So I decided to go on Facebook. I thought, "oh my sister would be mad if she found out on facebook."  Then as I was walking down the hall, I saw Alicea, (the youth pastor's wife who is due this week.) I stopped her and told her I was pregnant too and "won't it be great! My baby will be born in the same year as yours! Maybe they can get married!" I was so excited!

I had another unrelated dream about having dinner with my husband. (which we did last night, for our anniversary) In the dream he ordered something I didn't want, and I stepped on the tray while climbing down from an elevated picnic table that we were sitting at with an few old high school boyfriends. 

My last dream... I remember the best... and was the craziest...

I was driving down a residential street in a Cadillac. The street was dark feeling. My house from when I was 8 was on a hill to the left. There was a large dip for drainage to the side of the road before the yard started. As I was passing my house I noticed some very small black and brown objects moving in the road. I stopped, did a U-turn and went back to see what they were. I got out and picked them up. They we fetal Rottweiler puppies. There was five of them. They were no bigger than your thumb. I gathered them up and ran them into the house. My husband and kids came in the living room and I asked them to help me. We had Barbie bottles, and My husband got some bowls of cream, but I was yelling at him to go get some formula from the store. I picked the puppies off of my hand and body one by one. There were now far more than 5. The first four were standing on and squishing the runt of the litter. I was so sad for it... it died. After I got the five Rottweilers off, there were some golden retriever, and poodle fetal puppies too. Then I pulled off 3 white fake looking mice. I was disgusted with them and yelled for my daughter to throw them outside. There was also a gerbil looking one that drank a bunch of the milk and was now expanding to 'hand size' and about to explode. I yelled for the kids to take that one outside too, "Quick, before it explodes!"  I was then very frustrated that my husband had not left for the store, I was worried that the milk we had would not be good for them. So pulling the last one or two off of me I ran for the door to go get formula myself!

OK, so... interpretation time.

Pregnant dreams are great! They mean that you are pregnant with something... an idea, a ministry, a new direction.

I know what I am pregnant with, and these dreams only confirmed it. I have an eschatological message that I am sharing on another blog, and with anyone who will listen, but it's come to the point that I am ready to share in a bigger way.  I am working on the fashion show to go with it, but I think there may be opportunities coming to just speak even if that is not finished.

Alicea and her husband have heard a bit of my schpiel (sp) and have both told me (not necessarily about that specifically) that I should teach. My dream involving her was very pointed. I said that our babies would be born the same year! That's this year. I am certain that this is the year that I will be able to teach on eschatology.

The electronic baby makes me think of the internet and possibly my "end times" blog. 

My mom called me today to tell me that in the last Bible study session they had, Beth Moore said that she too believed we are in the Tribulation. This was huge news to me, because I know the denomination that Beth comes from does not hold that stance. Both of our denominations are decidedly pre-trib. So to have Beth speak against that REALLY fuels my fire. I respect her a lot, and it just empowers me to be bolder with my message. So again... It told me that surely, this is the time for my ministry!

My mom being a key person in the dreams is also significant because I specifically tell my mom the new things I find on the subject, and she is one that I am really trying to persuade. She also tells me everything that she hears about the subject. 

As far as the puppies go, if you've read previous posts you'll know that puppies (to me) represent youth. I mentioned just beginning the after church program with the teens. I have also recently volunteered to teach the 4-6th graders if we start a "Sunday school" class for them, cause right now they are in with the little kids (K-up) and it's just too beneath them, IMO. I'm not sure if these two things specifically were what the dream was about, but again (a reoccurring theme) that I'm saving puppies.  This time from the street. One of my biggest burdens with the end times is that there are kids here for it all. I want so badly to tell them about the times so that they will not be scared, but it's such a "parent's thing" to do, that I don't feel it's my place.

Perhaps this is speaking to that. I have actually thought of writing a children's book about the subject that is fictional, and fantastical, but still would 'prepare' them for the coming years.

OH... so much to think about! So much to get moving on... What a morning it has been.

Safe in the Pillow

Ok, I know I said yesterday's would be the last before vacation, but I'm taking a minute to post this one before we leave for the airport.

It was just too good to pass up.

The dream started out doors with my friend Rene. (I would have been at her house for Bible study at 7:00AM if we weren't leaving today.) We were in a wild flower garden setting. (She gardens.) Then she showed me a miniature scene she had set up that went with the season. She changed it, while talking to me, to a summer scene with a bench and people etc. We walked to some chairs nearby and sat to chat. We saw movement in the tall flowers/grass. At first I thought they were bunnies, but as they got closer we could see that they were coyote pups; Lots of them. I picked one up. They were so cute. As we were talking about them we saw the mama coyote in the flowers about 1/4 mile away. I put down the pup and we walked away.

Rene took me into a wooden trailer that was set up with a desk and had a crib behind that.  She handed me a baby on a pillow. He looked about 2 months old. I held him and walked outside.

As I walked, the scene changed and I was in the streets of  Japan. I saw a street ad like on a bench (but really just a sign) that had multiple Japanese girls, some with large pillows covering there torsos. Just then a huge tidal wave of snow crashed down over the city. I curled my body around the baby and huddled next to the sign. My point of view changed and I could see the windows in shops being broken, and things being over turned etc. Then it was gone. I stood up and walked  to the trailer (or another place similar) and found Pastor Scott there. I was excited as I told him that some girls will be saved. I had in my mind that everyone with a pillow was safe.

Pretty cool huh?

Again we have this idea of puppies (to me representing young people), but this time they are wild animals. The baby only reinforces the idea of young life that I am protecting. I'm not sure why Japan particularly, but it was missions week at church on Sunday, so my mind is on missions. Tidal waves/Tsunamis  are indigenous to that area, but this time it was snow... perhaps representing washing their sins "white as snow" as it says in the Bible. A pillow is definitely a security symbol, and because two Bible people, Rene and Pastor Scott, were in it, I have no problem thinking it's a spiritual matter, not really physical.

Anyway, I thought it was a cool dream.