The River to Heaven

Before bed my daughter showed us a YouTube testimony of the man who spoke at the event she was at last night. He shared of his near death/actual death experience in which he was in a "river" on the way to hell. When he came back to life he was a changed man and has been prechin' about it ever since.
With that in my mind, and with various other people from my morning at church swirling around in my head, this is the dream I had:

I was in a kitchen with several people from church, and my mom. Jada (a little girl at my church)was running around the kitchen island and I was brushing the crumbs from the party onto the floor so that I could sweep them up. After I swept the kitchen (around people's feet) I took Jada and her brothers down stairs where the laundry room was. Through a window we could see a huge tidal wave coming. I told the kids that we should get back up stairs to their mommy quick! We all ran up the stairs and just as we were coming through the door at the top of the stairs, the wave hit. Instantly we were all gone, no pain, no turmoil of the wave, nothing, just all of a sudden floating down this vast river. There was water as far as I could see on either side of me. I couldn't see anyone else and I wondered if I was dead, or just in the sea after the wave. Then a light came over the horizon in front of me and flooded my vision with it's reflection on the water's surface. I was overcome with the biggest smile of my life. Then I saw a rope stretched across the expanse of the sea with square flags every few feet that had pictures of Disney princesses on them. I saw Belle on a flag that also had my name written on it. It said "Ms. Mikie Spencer" right above the bust of Belle in her yellow ball gown. (Belle is "my" princess. She is the one I look most like, and was a nickname that my ex had for me.) I passed directly under the flag of Belle and on down the river/sea. Then there was another rope with the same flags across it... and in the distance, another, and another. I had no control over the pattern that I was floating in and I was going faster and faster down the river, but I always passed directly under the Belle flag with my name on it. I got all giddy thinking about how perfect the aim of my floating was. I knew that God was guiding me. I also knew that this was the river to Heaven and that each princess picture represented another person. I could never see the end of the water to either side, and the flags were every couple of feet all the way across the water.
I woke up briefly and rolled over.
When I fell back asleep my dream had changed and I was going around asking people I knew who their favorite princess was. I was looking back in my memory to remember if I saw that princess on the rope or not.

I know there are not as many Disney princesses as there are girls going to Heaven, (in my second dream two people answered "Hermione" when I asked them who their princess was,) but this is dream language, not reality. It's obvious to me that my mind needed to think of princesses and that's all it had to pull from. They needed to be personal, and I can't think of one woman I know who doesn't have a "personal" princess. I know my daughter's princess is Sleeping Beauty. I have two friends who claim Snow White. Who do you claim?

The dream was very satisfying. The happiness (both with my smile and my giddiness) was overwhelming, but peaceful at the same time. I love dreams like that!

Showing Off and Staying

As is generally the case, once I write about one dream after a long pause, I'll get another the very next day. It reminds me of the verse about being faithful with little leading to being trusted with more.
For the past few months I have literally been blowing my dreams off. After the prayer I told you about yesterday the thought of getting back to what God has called me to do has resonated in my head. This dream journal... as silly as it may be to some of you, is something God called me to do. This is "practice" for me. Some times other people's dreams make a lot more sense to me than my own, but how can I expect to be able to help with interpretation if I'm not willing to practice on my own?

With out further adieu, and whether you want it or not, here's last night's dream.

It started in a church office that reminded me more of a school library office I had in another dream last year. I was there to see my friend Carrie, who worked there. (She really works at the front desk of a Chiropractor's office.) The Dr. she works for was there too, and he was handing her some papers. I was talking to her while she filed things away.
We got to a part of our conversation that was private, so I told her we'd finish talking after she was done working. Then I walked out of the office and into another area of the church. I saw a room with people setting up for an evening event. I walked in with my son. I had diamonds on my teeth like a grill.
We sat down across from Tyler (my pastor's oldest son). We started talking to him about church and the event about to happen, and then we talked a little about ourselves. He kept mentioning that he enjoyed the same things I was saying I enjoyed. At one point I had stated that I was more into the arts than I was sports (duh), but that I understood his family was the opposite. He corrected me and said that he liked art better too. (I doubt that is really the case... unless you count music.) I was surprised.
Shortly after that interchange my son asked if we could go. We got up and I went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and spit out all the diamonds. I looked at my teeth and the glue holding the diamonds had left a brownish film on my teeth. I showed another girl who was in the bathroom too and asked her what I could do about it. She didn't see what I was talking about. I took my fingernail and scraped off a brown chunk of glue.(yuck) "See?" I asked. At that she was gone and I scrapped more of my teeth, then put the diamonds back to see if keeping them in was easier than scraping the gunk off. I realized I looked a little silly with them on and was embarrassed that I had been wearing them the whole time, so I threw the diamonds away.
My son was waiting for me outside of the door and when I came out he said he didn't want to go back to talk to Tyler anymore because I might end up getting married. (haha) So we walked outside and there was a huge line of people that went on for blocks, all headed to camp. We were supposed to be going too. As we were about to join the group I had a desire to not go and I asked my son, "Do you wanna stay home?" He agreed and we went down the line against the flow aiming for our house. About a block away from our house (which was depicted as a glass walled house that resembled the house from "The Brady Bunch") we crossed over a cinder block wall. I noticed my dog being led by an old school mate of mine on the other side of the wall that we had just crossed. I called to her, "Tisha, pass me Knuckles". So my son and I got Knuckles along with his bed, food dish, and camper crate, then we headed back to our house. The line of people extended past our house even. As we approached our house, I knew Carrie was there, staying too. Then I woke up.

I understand that a diamond grill is most likely something about showing off, and I get the idea that God is telling me that showing off in church basically looks silly... Stop it. He put Tyler there as the main person because He knows I admire Tyler. (I have a thing for preacher's kids... had the same thing at our old church, Sun Grove, with that pastor's oldest son. Granted I'm ten years older and happily married... It's just more of "eye candy" and "thought candy". No I'm not lusting... They both just happen to be attractive, and I admire the walk with God that they seemed to keep in the years that I fell off the wagon. Being a preacher's kid myself, I have always felt a connection with both sons, even though our conversations have been very few and very brief.)
As for the rest of the dream, I know I need to talk to Carrie, and there's that, but what about the long line going to camp, and why were the dogs going?
Tisha... most likely isn't my old school mate Tisha at all, but my other friend Tisha whom I just talked to yesterday (or Monday). I was very grateful for our history of friendship; for all the similarities that we have and how I know, above any other person, she can understand a lot of what my struggles have been.
So here she is in the dream guiding my dog for me to this place that all these church people are going to.
The first thing that my mind goes to (not sayin' I'm right), is concentration camps. It is rumored that the camps present in the US today are reserved for a day when Christianity will be outlawed. My mind could be thinking about this possibility and my desire to fight against submitting to that fate. In the dream I walk boldly against the stream of people going to camp. My son agrees with me, and we get our beloved dog and go home to a glass house. The glass house clearly (no pun intended) symbolizes exposure. If I stay, I will not be in hiding in any way... even as I go to talk about private things with my friend Carrie. (Who, BTW, would stay in the face of danger too, I'm sure.)

Advice and Tres Leche Cake

The night before last I had an "advice" dream, featuring my pastor's wife and a few other church ladies.
In the dream I was watching one of the worship leaders at my old church, and talking to my pastor's wife about my involvement. She was telling me that I needed to step it up. I also had to get my friend Terese's shoes in the dream. And in the dream Terese was wearing all brown. In one book I read the author said brown signifies pastoral stuff, but who knows. All I know is that it's pretty clear that I need to get my act together this coming year and not be so apathetic about my "assignments".

Last night I had two dreams; one about an ex of mine (Shane) making Tres Leche cake and I was instructing him. I was also noticing his muscular build and his air force hair-do. (This is new in dreams, cause typically I dream of him the way I remember him from high school or college days, not the way he is now.)
I think the part about the cake has to do with me being on a diet after so many sweets over Christmas, so now automatically my brain goes to what I can't have.
At the end of the dream my husband and kids were calling me to get in the car and leave. I told Shane he looked good and gave him a hug. Then I commented that he smelled good too, (I had a brief naughty thought, and must have been shocked at myself, cause I woke myself up.) :-)

The dream before that is fuzzy, but I remember one part in particular where I had to use the rest room and couldn't find it,(a common occurrence in my dreams). I finally found a green house looking building that was the rest room and I went in.
I could see through the glass walls, but they were dark and foggy with vines and such growing up around the outside so I didn't worry about people seeing in. I sat down, only to look behind me and see at least ten other people. I decided to just look forward (through the glass) and not think about what the others may be doing.
It was an odd dream, but then again, so are all of my "potty dreams".

A Retreat, a Reunion, and an Animal Cruelty Documentary

The first dream of the night was about a women's retreat. I was there with tons of other church women I know. (I most likely dreamed of this because I was explaining to my sister last night how I met Kookye... which was at retreat.) In the dream we were staying up late (as usual) but in a totally new place. The cabins were like another camp dream I've had before that reminded me of a cruise.
There was a long line of sinks in the bathroom and bunk beds lining the walls of our rooms. I was the person in the group who was determined to stay up til morning. We had been running around goofing off outside and I had to go inside to pee. I found out I was on my period (which actually happened this morning), then I came out of the bathroom to a room of sleepy ladies about to go to bed. The clock said 3:00, and I said, "come on, let's go swimming!"
I went outside to some familiar pools (ones I dreamed of a while back in a dream about my ex-father-in-law and weight loss.) There was a normal pool and a hot tub, both very large. I jumped in the hot tub and thought it might make everyone sleepier, so I got in the cold one. I looked around and saw that no one joined me.

The dream switched and it was day time and I was in the pool at a reunion. (Another dream I've had before with Paul, if you remember. But the pool was still the same large square one from the dream about weight-loss.) This time the pool was again, mostly boys, and one came over to be my protector. He looked similar to some boys I've known in the past but not like one particular person. He was skinny and tall, and white with a pointy nose. He had on a leather jacket and jeans. I swam around with him for a while kind of backed up into his arms. Some other boy was trying to take me from him, but he was defending me. Then I got out. I rationalized with myself that I really didn't know him and he was never my boyfriend. Once I was out of the pool I walked around a stadium type place (again very much like the dream I had a while back that Guy and Mr. Leander were in). I saw lots of people and then out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane (another old boyfriend... my favorite from my youth). He had just arrived from being overseas (which makes sense because he's in the Air Force, and goes overseas fairly often). He still looked just like he did in 1989 with his long hair and glasses. He was wearing a black leather jacket that glistened like it was wet. He disappeared from my view, and I spent a few minutes trying to find him. Finally, I did, and walked over trying to get him to talk to me. I even put my hands around his neck, but he was determined to ignore me. Again, I was left disappointed.


My third dream started like I was watching a documentary, but shortly into the film, it was like I was there and being shown through the farm/factory.
The documentary was about the mistreatment of children and animals in Laos. (This idea popped up out of nowhere... it has no relevance with anything going on it my life... which is one reason it's so disturbing.) There was one small boy that the film followed through the entire process, but very quickly into the film. The mistreatment of the children and the animals went hand in hand, because he was the one forced to treat the animals the way they were treated. It started with him in a pin full of hay and mud like he had just finished taking the animals out, then the scene switched to a line of beheaded, de-footed, and skinned pig looking animals. They were still 'walking' in the line to get slaughtered though. The boy explained how he had to chop of their feet while they were still fluffy, and the imagery went to him bounding rabbits by their feet and chopping off their heads, then their feet, while still tied. The skinning was done by someone else. Even though everything had looked like pigs before, I got the understanding that this was a rabbit farm. The boy cried when he talked about how cute they were before he had to kill them with the machete.
I woke up quite disturbed.

So other than being disappointed after each dream, I don't see much of a relation between them.
Like I said, the Laos dream came out of no where, so I'll be thinking this morning about any possible meaning...

I am The Warrior

First dream in a while that has been note worthy.

A familiar setting... one from a dream many months ago. In the dream from before the location was in the country past horses and down a slope that made it feel like the Shire. It was a cozy but decadent home of an elderly man. A "wise old man" that I went to deliver something to and ended up talking to, and looking around admiring his things.
In last night's dream I started inside the house. There were many women from church(past and present)gathered there for something.
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted my friend Jeffrey, who has been dead for several years now. Many of my friends were talking to her, some times in groups and sometimes one on one. I stayed away. The dream did not take place in the past... It was present day, and even in my sleep, I knew she was dead. (In life, she was one of my dearest friends and mentors... a kindred spirit... one I could go to with ANY thing.)
The event that we were all gathered for let out and I walked out the side door and on to the gravel drive. Jeffrey walked right up beside me and said, "Why have you been avoiding me?" I don't remember what I said, but it was something about not knowing "what" she was. She spoke to me with kind words and basically said not to ignore her. I woke up shortly after singing "The Warrior" by Patty Smyth from the 80s.

Jeffrey once told me all of my "issues" would be solved if I just realized how much God loves me; If I could see in myself, the value that He sees in me.
This little life lesson comes up again and again for me. I have a hard time feeling "loved... and worth the effort."
Anyway... that's just ONE piece of advice she gave me, but I know that she was referring to it when she said not to ignore her. Me wondering "what" she was speaks of me still doubting the source of the thoughts in my head that tell me to take "self" time. Ya know, if you think being a mom means doing everything for everybody else... and then you get bashed for not doing a very good job of that, you some times start to think that a voice telling you to take some "me time" must be the enemy, cause that seems selfish. blah blah blah.
The wise old man was not in his house, but it's clear to me that Jeffrey was the "wise" person in this dream that everyone was getting advice from.
So all that leaves is the song:
... I looked up the lyrics.

"You run, run, runaway
It's your heart that you betray
Feeding on your hungry eyes
I bet you're not so civilized

Well isn't love primitive?
A wild gift that you wanna give
Break out of captivity
And follow me stereo jungle child
Love is the kill
Your heart's still wild

Shooting at the walls of heartache
Bang, bang!
I am the warrior
Well I am the warrior
And heart to heart you'll win
If you survive the warrior, the warrior

You talk, talk, talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically
Stay with me we'll take the night
As passion takes another bite, oh
Who's the hunter, who's the game?
I feel the beat call your name
I hold you close in victory
I don't wanna tame your animal style
You won't be caged in the call of the wild

Shooting at the walls of heartache
Bang, bang!
I am the warrior
Well I am the warrior
And heart to heart you'll win
If you survive the warrior, the warrior
I am the warrior

I'm not sure if you can see anything in it... cause it was only meant for me... but I see a message.

My Ministry Path

What I remember from Tuesday morning (yesterday):
I was in a large banquet hall with other church women. I went towards the kitchen through another room that was empty but could be used to expand the dining area. There was a trail of dog poop on the floor. I told my friend Elenice that I would clean it up. So I bent down and began to wipe it up with paper towels. My friend Jennifer M. also came in while I was there and talked to me. (Both of these ladies represent ministries at my old church.)
After that I went to my pastor's house which was more like a house I have dreamed of before as the Coward's house or as Miss Michele's house. It's a large house with shag carpet, a sunken living room off to the left of the entry, and a hall way to the right. In the dream I was there to mentor the pastor's son Spencer. Both my husband and I were supposed to do it, but my husband had not wanted to come. I got there and stood looking at some art on the wall while there was a gathering of women in the background having a meeting of sorts.
In the dream I never got any real time with Spencer. I left because I was insecure about what I had been asked to do; with out my husband there I didn't think it was my place to mentor a young adult male.
After that I had a dream or a vision (inside my dream) of an embryo inside of me and it's birth. It was up on a screen. Watching, I knew it was Spencer's baby, but not a real baby. It was symbolic and I knew it.
I walked into a large church sanctuary full of people I know. I sat near the back. I saw my friend Ann Marie walk in and down the middle aisle. She had on a police uniform and her hair looked like Linda Carter's. She looked gorgeous. Everybody starred at her and she said hello in a very commanding voice. Everyone was happy to see her. I observed the scene at a distance. When the service was over I was walking out and told another friend that I had had Spencer's baby. Ann Marie, Pastor Scott (Spencer's dad), and a couple other people gathered around me congratulating me; saying things like, "That's great!" and "Go tell everyone!"
Ann Marie pushed me towards the front saying, "It's so great that you will finally be up front."
I got to the front, and woke up.

So what's the significance of this one? Well, Elenice is a friend who helped me start my "Beauty for Ashes" ministry. Jennifer is a friend that helped me start my "Mission Blessing" ministry. (Both ended before I left Harvest church, though the remnants remain to some extent.) Ann Marie was my only spiritual leader friend in my last two years of high school. She stood by me even when I got pregnant and had my daughter. And Spencer, I would say, has the greatest potential of my pastor's kids to be a pastor/speaker/something some day. However, Spencer is also my last name and could have something to do with that instead. Either way... the multi -purpose banquet hall in the beginning speaks volumes about putting in my time cleaning up poop in and for various ministries. I think the end when Ann Marie is saying that I will finally be up front, is talking about my next ministry 'baby' being more up front than behind the scenes or as a clean up crew.

Half Fake Babies

Yesterday there was a baby in my dream... a real baby, that I know, last night, there was two babies, and they were fake... hmmmm...

The dream started at drama practice. I was there with Tracy, and my daughter and other other drama people (from church). I had been given lines and we were practicing my delivery. The backdrop was white and formless.

I don't remember the first part of the line, but the second part was, "I see what you mean". I had a make-up compact in my hand and my back turned to the group. I turned and said my line angrily. I did this a few times, then asked if it would be better if I said it with a bit of surprise and a softer voice... ,"blah blah blah... Oh, I see what you mean." At that point I was holding a baby. The baby was a doll... at least from the waist down. The legs were plastic and stiff in a seated position; they hinged at the thighs. 

I walked with the baby over to a bunk bed right inside a small room a few yards away. My sister was on the top bunk with another baby boy. It looked fairly real, and I thought of him as hers. She wanted me to take him for a minute while she adjusted something. I stood on the ledge of the bottom bunk, (as I often did as a child, to be able to reach the top bunk) and held out my free arm. I was holding the other baby in the crook of my left arm and holding the top bunk rail with my left hand. She gave me the baby, and I realized his legs were plastic as well. I couldn't get a good hold on him because of my positioning. I asked her to take him back, that I couldn't hold him, but she argued that she couldn't do it either.

That was the end.

Given that my sister was on her top bunk, I'd like to take it literally as being about my sister, but my mind keeps thinking of my agenda this morning, which is to go see a new space with my art group the "Swell Sisters". The space is on the second floor, (like a bunk bed) and this is a "baby" of ours. 

The bottom floor of the building is a dance studio. I'm hoping that there will be something there for me as well. I was a dancer as a kid, and am really wanting to get back into that. 

Anyway, I imagine I'll have a better grasp on what the dream is about after my meeting this morning. I will be looking for parallels.

Dreaming about other people

Well, I'm happy to say that most of my dreams were good last night. Yay!

I had three that I can remember.

The first began in a class room. A boy named Lee from my 5th grade class had started a rumor about me. I don't remember what the rumor was, or even if it was mentioned in the dream; it was simply known that he had started one. I was searching for a seat, weighing my options. I sat towards the front in a desk just like the ones in elementary school. Partially through the class I got up and moved to a cluster of friends. Among the friends was my best friend from college: Ramin. He was sitting with 3-4 other people with their desks all pushed up next to each other creating a table. I knew the people, but I can't remember who they were. As soon as our desks were all together an Indian feast was served to us. There were at least 6 dishes served, family style. I picked up each and took two of most things and passed them on. One dish looked like fried firecrackers. It was rolled up like an egg roll but only 1 1/2 long and with colorful tassels poking out one end. Another dish was very large raviolis. There were also dates and raisins that dripped with honey and when I put them on my plate I watched the honey drizzle from the spoon folding itself in a golden ribbon. It was mesmerizing. There was naan bread and other things that I don't know the name of that I've had at the Indian restaurant in town. ...and that was the extent of the dream.

The next dream was simply about my old pastor's wife moving to an older section of town. The section of town she moved to is closer to the church, and to one of her close friends. The house had a pool and she had invited some women over. The only thing that I did in the dream was ponder why she had moved. The reasons I gave (about being closer, and near her friend) are the only ones I came up with.

The last dream was the only disturbing one of the night.

I went to visit my friend Paige. (Which I haven't done in a VERY long time, even though she lives in the same town.) My husband went with me. We were mainly there to see her baby. (This is how long I haven't been to her house... Last time I was there Lily was a baby, now I think she's 5.) In the dream Lily was less than a year old. I was playing with her, taking her hat off and on, off and on. She wanted it on, but was laughing at the game we had devised.  There were happy smiles all around, and then the men left the room and Paige started talking to me about marriage. I don't remember what she said about it, all I know is that I started  listing off friends, in my head, that are in bad marriages. What is interesting is that I listed a couple that aren't in bad marriages. One being a very good friend of mine who never complains about her husband. In the dream  I could see her confession unfold in front of me, like I was there, in her bed room. She explained to me that she had cheated on her husband. It had only been one night  at a party of some sort. I cried as she told me, trying to understand how she could do such a thing. After the thought finished, I was back talking to Paige, and thinking of other bad marriages.

That was the end of the dream.

I don't have any ideas about  what the dreams mean... if anything. But I'll connect with the key players in the dreams and make sure all is well.

:-)

It's hard to know when you dream about other people, if the dream is really about them, or about something they represent in your life, or what.

"Peter Pan, Smurfs, and Shorts"

Well, I'm back from my trip... on which I kept no dream journal. :-)

Last night I had three... (or more)

The first one; I was playing around on my computer and my husband was helping me to put some new icons on my desktop. They were strange things like high def fireworks, and mushrooms. Directly after they were all on my desktop I went into the movie "Peter Pan". I don't know if I was Peter Pan, or if I was in narrator mode directly over his shoulder. I could hear his thoughts and see everything from his view, but a few times the view changed and I was directly over him while flying. He landed in the yard of Mr. Smee. (They were both 'real' people, not cartoons.) Mr. Smee told him where to go find Hook. He seemed very nice and helpful, but when we started flying away there was a gun shot that nearly missed our head. After another gun shot, and we flew back down to the yard. There was a gun like the one he held in the cartoon, that looked a little like a horn. We saw his wife;  her name was Diane Cook, or at least that's what it sounded like. It makes more sense if she would've said "Hook", so maybe she did, I remember pondering the name as we left, thinking, "Cook? or Hook?" and "Capt. Hook's wife's name is Diane? or Mr. Smee's wife? I never knew they had a wife."

In the second dream I brought my dog to a bible study meeting at a friend's house. They had one gray tabby cat with two kittens. I assured them that Knuckles (my dog) would be fine with the cats. We watched the kittens and Knuckles play for a while then other guests started to arrive. My friend Roxi came and brought her dog (only in the dream it was a black lab, not a chocolate one), and another friend brought a dachshund. Everyone was afraid of how the dogs would do. It was a little hectic at first but after a while they seemed to be OK with each other... and the cats.

All the grownups sat down on the couches and the little kids went into a back room to play.

The TV was turned on and a tape put in... It was The Smurfs. We were all sitting there to watch The Smurfs. We were seeing if it was appropriate or something. There were discussions about what they were singing. People were saying that the first song was about groceries, but it was clearly about "rules" or "the law". I spoke up about it.  The next song was about something else I don't remember now.

My husband and I walked away from the group to go make-out in a back room. Every single room we went in to had someone sleeping in it. Even the bath tub had a person sleeping in it. It was odd.

The third dream was my sister and I again, looking through clothes. (There is something to this reoccurring theme.)  In this one we were getting ready for school (again), and we were sharing a wardrobe. The tops were not the important thing this time; it was all about the shorts.  I was looking for a particular pair about half way through. Finally I looked in a suitcase that was laying on the floor. I found what I thought was them, but upon further inspection, it wasn't. I ended up finding the shorts I was looking for in a pile I had already been through. (They were almost all jean shorts.)

"Women"

I had two dreams that I remember last night.

The first, I was at my Pastor's house in the middle of a women's gathering. It didn't really look like their house. It reminded me more of a house that I have dreamed of before that was the Coward's house. But I won't read anything into that. Karen, my pastor's wife, had been watching my son and I was coming to pick him up.They had been talking about going to buy a game for him at Game Stop. I said she didn't have to. She said right now was the only free time she had. "Oh, well if this is the only time I have with you. I'll take as much as I can," I said. There was a sense of her time being very crammed and precious, and I wanted to glean what I could from her. So sat beside her. My son was no longer in the picture, but I started looking around the room at the other women.  They were just there; it wasn't like they were all there to see Karen. They were there with each other. I noticed my friend Rebecca playing cards at a coffee table beside us with another friend. The I looked all around and was shocked to see people from my high school in Italy. Not close friends of mine, just random women.

"There are (counting) ten people here I know from high school!" I exclaimed overjoyed. I smiled at Karen in my moment of surprise.

In my next dream I was in an Olympic sized lap pool. I had on a blue Speedo one-piece and was about to race a bunch of kids and teens. My daughter's boyfriend's mom was in the pool with me and talking to me. I said I needed goggles and a hair cap. She said that I'd be a good racer after I loose my weight. I looked at the line up and could see myself in it. I could see myself swimming very fast. I would be able to beat most of the kids.

...and that was the end of that.

Obviously, my weight is still weighing heavy on me (no pun intended). I guess going to bed right after talking to my daughter about her boyfriend made me think of his mom.

I'm not so sure about the Pastor Karen dream. Again, I'd like to think that people being in her house means that they are/will be "saved" (for lack of a better word). Who knows.  And what did my son and a game have to do with anything?

Cliff Climbing

Well, we have a few minutes before we leave the hotel for the Roman Theater and Dead Sea, so I'll try to squeeze out a dream.

I was at church and Darnisha (worship leader) had me stand up to tell about my trip.  I stood up in the front row and the words I said, as I remembered the sites (which we haven't even seen yet) were, "It was like a fairytale."

After that I walked with Neva (another pastor who deals with hospital visits and calls and hospitality stuff) over to an area of bagged food for the homeless. We looked at it all and I picked up something with my dad and walked behind a crowd.

My dad went to get the car and I followed the crowd all with arms full of stuff. With me, was my sister and Guy (an old friend from HS). We arrived at a hill and started to climb.

Soon the hill was a cliff (still with grass though). We no longer had anything in our hands and the cliff was getting so steep that it was angling towards us. Right near the top I started hanging off the side of the cliff. I was pleading with Guy to help me. "Guy, Guy, please help. I can't pull myself up.  Please help, ....Guy, Guy..."

He pointed out a bar to me that was about 3 feet away from the cliff. I didn't want to go away from the cliff.

Finally he pulled himself into a window, as did my sister, and they started to help me.

The window had a glass that tilted on it's middle so that you could go in the top or the bottom. I came through the top. I was in my night shirt with nothing else on. I was upset that I didn't have on bottoms.

But I got in the window safely.

That was the end.

It was very interesting that I already had images of my trip in my mind when I was telling church about it.

I also found the cliff very intriguing.  Perhaps something will make sense later. 

Not sure if I'll have time to post tomorrow; we'll see.

You have to go down to get up.

The dream's setting is a magnificent hotel building. There is a massive round foyer, grand curved stairways on both sides, white marble with black accent marble tiles; it's just grand.

The dream starts down a hallway where I'm looking for my room along with dozens of other women all there for an event. I know many of them. As I'm realizing that my room is on the next level up, I hear a woman wish out loud for a cappuccino. "I got a cappuccino maker for Christmas. It's in my room," I say. (It's true, I did get one for Christmas.) I continue up the stairs only to find that there is no entry to the hallway up there. I look over the edge to the grand entry room below and ask the woman attendant there how do I get to the hallway. She says, "You have to come down to get to the stairs that go up." I think that's pretty silly, but I come down anyway. When I get down I go into a lounge area. There are snooty women sitting around drinking and talking, all wearing formals.  I'm wearing a formal now too. I see some old classmates from high school and they are wearing formals as well. (All women by the way.) A lady comes in to tell us that they set up the event in the wrong room, and that she will try to get them to carry all the stuff over here where it's supposed to be. So we are told to wait patiently. A few friends and I walk around looking at the space. There is a room being prepared for a new member. I know the girl that the room is being prepared for, so I watch with excitement. The walls are mirrored and grand and there is a man stamping a small black brick pattern on some of the walls. I suggest he put some color splashes under the black for a nice effect. He tries red, and it looks great. I accidentally smudge a brick, and he fixes it as I move away. We see that she also gets a cool circular entryway room that leads to the foyer. It is mirrored as well. As we mosey back into the lounge area the same lady comes back and says, "The dinner is ready to be plated.  We will just all move over to the other room. Don't worry, I'll make sure you girls are in the court." (Meaning the Homecoming court.) We follow her out.

You don't always get to go straight to your room. And sometimes you have to go down to get up. Sometimes things aren't working like they should. Sometimes when you're being helpful, you mess something up at the same time. You can be excited for other people's blessings. And... even if the party starts before you get there, you may still hold a place of honor.

I'm sure I could look into the detail's symbolism too, but it's actually not raining right now, and my dog is staring at me like, "Please take me for a walk." We haven't been able to walk for nearly a week because of the rain. He walks on the treadmill, but it's just not the same.

Oh, I thought you might mike to see the mural I did on Tuesday... (sorry for the fuzziness.)

Church fires and Dachshunds, what?

I feel a bit weird telling you that yet again, there was a potty in my dream.  I must really need to unload some waste. ;)

 The dream's setting was church. I was in some type of women's group; there were women from my present church and the church we went to before. We were at a long table doing some sort of craft.  I got up to use the restroom. Went in, sat down, stayed there. People started knocking on the door (it was a small stall/room with sink included). I could hear and see (like looking down on the situation) the people outside on the stall. There was a group of guys from a rock band along with various other people. My husband came to the door angrily and ripped down the door/wall. I was pissed. I stood up pant-less and grabbed a hand towel to try and cover myself.  I walked out yelling at him, and two rock band guys went in. I looked around for my things and realized they were in the bathroom. I knocked and asked them to hand me my things.  The door cracked (yes, magically, it was back) and they threw out my stuff. I sat next to a dying fire that the other musicians were sitting around as I gathered my stuff. At one point I threw something (can't remember now what it was, but it was significant) into the fire and the flames shot up to bonfire status. The band who was waiting for the fire to die before they could leave, was now stuck there longer. I left, but I couldn't find my keys.

In the parking lot I saw my pastor and asked if he would help me. I gave him three options. "You can take me home, or you can call my peeps to come get me, or you can take me to your house and have them pick me up there," I said. He told me to get in, that he'd take me to his house for them to come there. 

As I rounded the small SUV there was another Pastor Scott, but with long, straight, shoulder length hair.  I looked over the car, and noticed they both had long hair. Then the first P. Scott took off the hair like a wig, and said, "That's my twin brother."

The long haired brother and I got in the back utility area where there were two brown Dachshund puppies. P. Scott took off, and the back utility door was still open. A wind tunnel was being created, and as we got on the on-ramp to the freeway, one puppy fell out. I reached my front half out and grabbed him and saved him. The P. Scott twin tried to get the door closed as I held the puppies. 

OK, obviously this one was not a positive dream. Emotions went from normal and happy to frustrated to pissed to 'oh no, oops' to confused to scared again.

The events of my 'real' last night may say a little something. I dropped my daughter off at church around 7:00 for her youth group that she wanted to attend. I did not stay even though there was a prayer meeting for the adults. I went to a Career Artists meeting instead. When I arrived to pick her up at 9:15 Pastor Scott was coming out, and the door was locked. He unlocked it for me and I went in to find my daughter in the back youth room. When we got home, I broke down and had a piece of my daughter's birthday cake even though I'm fasting from animal products right now. (The cake has eggs and cream.) And yes, I had another piece this morning. I suck when it comes to willpower. So, going to church may have helped me with those temptations, where, obviously, the CA meeting did not. (Though, I'd like to point out that I had nothing while at the meeting. ;-) )  I also talked with my husband on the phone about a parenting debate we're having over who my daughter can date now that she's 16.

As I look at my dreams, and me constantly in the bathroom in them, I wonder if it has to do with my struggle with the issues that surround my weight, or with my parenting, or with my time management. 

My husband getting impatient with me in last night's dream could indicate that at least in that dream that it was about the parenting. He's very frustrated that I haven't budged on my stance about my daughter dating who ever she chooses. (If you are a parent, you know that separation in the ranks causes multiple problems. The man feels disrespected; the woman feels like another child in the house... There's just an unpleasantness to all conversations or situations surrounding the topic.)

Back to the dream....  I'm pissed and exposed at church but now really only with this band who is waiting on a fire to die. (I should mention that my husband plays bass in the church band... but he wasn't there in that part of the dream). I imagine that the fire was blazing during the service, (fire not always a bad thing in regards to church... because of the symbolism of a 'holy fire' - passion.) I wish I could remember what I threw in the fire. It was long, like a flowing thick ribbon, or cloth, or possibly liquid.??? 

Anyway, I'm not sure about the Pastor Scott twin with long hair. I guess maybe it was something that 'put him into the band too' (the band members had long hair). 

I have a thing about puppies in my dreams. Not big dogs, but little puppies (and sometimes kittens). I am always saving them. Sometimes from waves in the ocean, or on cliffs, or from abandoned buildings, and this time from falling out of open moving vehicles. I'm not exactly sure, but I think it may have something to do with young people.  I am involved with the youth at church a little, and I never dreamed of the puppies until I got started with youth. Who knows. But it's interesting that Pastor Scott was driving and that the thing that made the puppy fall was a wind tunnel, and that it was out the back door on an on-ramp.  The Spirit of God is called "a mighty rushing wind".   The fast that I'm on is one version of a church wide 21 day fast that we are doing.  Fasts, in general, take you deeper in your spiritual walk. They can be very powerful, and of course, that's what we're hoping for. Our church (with P. Scott 'driving', but also with us in the work 'utility trunk') is a young church (3 years I think) that just now got our own building. In a way, this fast is our "on ramp" to the freeway of actually going, doing, and being a mission based church. (We have always had that as a focus, but it wasn't as possible without a building.)

Those are just some of my thoughts. Do you have any?