Advice and Tres Leche Cake

The night before last I had an "advice" dream, featuring my pastor's wife and a few other church ladies.
In the dream I was watching one of the worship leaders at my old church, and talking to my pastor's wife about my involvement. She was telling me that I needed to step it up. I also had to get my friend Terese's shoes in the dream. And in the dream Terese was wearing all brown. In one book I read the author said brown signifies pastoral stuff, but who knows. All I know is that it's pretty clear that I need to get my act together this coming year and not be so apathetic about my "assignments".

Last night I had two dreams; one about an ex of mine (Shane) making Tres Leche cake and I was instructing him. I was also noticing his muscular build and his air force hair-do. (This is new in dreams, cause typically I dream of him the way I remember him from high school or college days, not the way he is now.)
I think the part about the cake has to do with me being on a diet after so many sweets over Christmas, so now automatically my brain goes to what I can't have.
At the end of the dream my husband and kids were calling me to get in the car and leave. I told Shane he looked good and gave him a hug. Then I commented that he smelled good too, (I had a brief naughty thought, and must have been shocked at myself, cause I woke myself up.) :-)

The dream before that is fuzzy, but I remember one part in particular where I had to use the rest room and couldn't find it,(a common occurrence in my dreams). I finally found a green house looking building that was the rest room and I went in.
I could see through the glass walls, but they were dark and foggy with vines and such growing up around the outside so I didn't worry about people seeing in. I sat down, only to look behind me and see at least ten other people. I decided to just look forward (through the glass) and not think about what the others may be doing.
It was an odd dream, but then again, so are all of my "potty dreams".

The past three nights

I have been able to sleep in the past three days which really makes a difference for how well I remember my dreams! With no alarm clock you are able to naturally wake up, and then sift through your thoughts without the pressure of time.

I'll start with last night:
I had a freeway dream... Pointing out that almost ALL of my freeway dreams are futuristic. Freeways with layers and various directions all intertwined. Well last night's I was NOT the driver, unless you count back seat driving. I was riding in a car with family (though I can't remember who was driving or which part of my family was with me. I think my mom was there.). Anyway, we were going somewhere but were unsure of which exit to take. The roads were so confusing cause there weren't signs that said things like "Sacramento next exit", you just had to look at which way the roads went and know which way you wanted to go. The ramps were like pretzels though, so you could tell which one led North or South or whatever. We wanted to go to the right but we missed the turn and didn't realize it until it was too late and we were headed for a long bridge. (It reminded me of driving into Long Beach from San Pedro.) We couldn't turn around and there were no exits until after the bridge which seemed to just get longer and longer as we drove. It started to look like a post apocalyptic scene from "The Book of Eli".
I woke up out of frustration that I couldn't turn around.

The night before I had a dream about my friend Barbara and her two daughters. My family lived across the hall from her in an apartment building with thin walls. We could hear everything that they said. I found out that they were baking a chocolate cake and I went over to taste it. As I ran out into the entry/stairwell area I noticed that there were no rails around the stairs and that I could fall to my death. We were at least 5 stories up and it looked very scary spiraling down. Her daughter Brooklyn ran up the stairs yelling. I stopped running and eased my way to her door. I went in, got some chocolate cake and went back to my apartment to taste the strawberry cake that my husband had made. (Yeah right :-) .) I tasted them both side by side and then went back into the entryway and looked at the stairwell again. It now had rails up and I wondered if it had ever been unsafe, or if I had imagined it.

The night before that I had a dream about my grandparent's house. (Not the one they live in now... but the one they lived in during my childhood.) I always wanted to live in their house when I grew up. I thought it was a mansion when I was little. We lived in a trailer, and then in other small houses most of my childhood, so their three story house was huge to me.
Anyway, in the dream I was selling the house to a family with a little girl. It was like an open house viewing and then I invited them to stay (like on "Funny Farm"). I was cooking in a large kitchen (bigger than their actual kitchen) making them some dinner. The dad went to check on his daughter. I heard all of their names spoken. The dad was Eugene, the daughter was Emma-gene, and the mom had a "gene" name too. The daughter was only 3 or so and had gone upstairs. I went up too, and noticed that the stairs were not safe. They had gaps large enough for Emma-gene to fall through. (The stairs were very grand like on "Gone With the Wind"). I looked through a few rooms upstairs appreciating how royal looking and warm they were. I had in my mind that I would not sell the house. I came back down stairs sliding down the banister with Emma-gene in my arms and gave her to her parents.


I didn't mean to wait three days before posting... but often when you do wait (or if you'll go back to look at the weeks dreams before you analyze them) you'll find a common thread.
I could talk about these three as individuals, but for now I'm going to lump them together and see the common thread.
They are all about safety... and choosing one of two options.
All three deal with uncertainty, and not feeling safe.
Last night's dream, I knew where I wanted to go, but I let someone else choose the wrong way(they were driving),and I complained from the back seat. And the further we went down the "wrong" path, the more desolate and hopeless it became.
The middle dream (inspired no-doubt because Barb and her girls have been coming over making Christmas goodies with me three times in the past week,) dealt with the danger of the stairs and the choice of which cake was better.
Before that... I dealt again with dangerous stairs and the choice of whether or not to sell my grandparent's house.
Because the names were mentioned and because they all had the root of "gene" I thought I'd look that up. The name Eugene and just Gene mean "well-born, noble" Emma means "whole, complete, universal".
It's interesting because my grandparent's house means a lot to me. When I dream of them it is always in a mansion (way bigger than their real home) and it always has to do with their legacy of faith to me. I attribute my Christian heritage to them and their raising my dad to be who he is. (Both my grandpa and my dad are preachers.) I can't even imagine thinking of selling my faith... and what does it mean that I thought of selling it to people who were noble? Was I selling it for nobility? Well either way I'm glad I decided not to in the end... but why bring up that the stairs were dangerous for the little girl? hmmmm. Just an excuse?
Does that run into the other dream of making excuses for why not to go out to the entry way... "it's too dangerous". I have often debated if the friendship I have there is "good for me" or not. Knowing a lot about people (hence the thin walls that we could hear through) especially when you think what they are doing is dangerous... can be uneasy.
Then we have other people driving my life. It happens quite often with me.
I REALLY need to learn this lesson.

To me/from me:
"Drive your own life... You don't need excuses to make decisions that are about you to begin with. Safe is just a frame of mind... You're only scared because you're scared of what others will think/say/or be hurt by. Man up!"

FIRE!

Last night's dream started with me babysitting some kids (aged 5-12ish) and walking them to the park near their house.
We left from their house, which reminded me of base housing on one of the AF bases where I grew up, (Edwards AFB). We took a few turns and were suddenly in a very industrial looking part of town at a park that sat between a subway station and warehouses. Even in the dream I found this weird, so I asked the oldest girl how the scenery had changed so quickly. As we were talking a group of policemen with a pack of K-9 shepherds walked to the park. The main handler of the pack walked right past us, and I went up to him to ask what was up. He mentioned a fire a few blocks away that was spreading quickly and he pointed in the direction of the house that we had come from.
For some reason I thought it was important to go back and get things out of the house so I ran back with my son who was with us.
We got to the house (which was now more like a trailer in a trailer park) and the fire had not reached it yet.
Inside the house it was obvious that the family that lived there only had one small baby girl, and that they liked to collect very cool wooden dolls that looked like they came from Germany or Austria or Switzerland. I started gathering what I thought looked the most expensive and told my son to gather things too. Then I called my mom's cell phone to ask what she thought I should do, since the people were her friends. (Either she, or the people, or both were vacationing in Hawaii.)She mentioned the diapers and practical things. "Oh... ok".
As I walked out with my arms full I saw smoke rising from below the house all around the foundation. I yelled for my son to come on out... that we wouldn't get any more we just needed to go. We ran out and onto a gravel drive with pine trees all around... Then I woke up.

The only part that came directly from life is the Hawaii part. I spoke to my mom yesterday about us all going to Hawaii together in May.
The dolls could be reminiscent of Christmas decorations I like that I have seen since this season started. The kids reminded me a little of the kids in the Narnia stories, which I'm looking forward to seeing this week, and I have seen a few German shepherds lately...
But really... nothin.
I do find it interesting that the last dream I remembered well was about a Tidal wave, and the one before that about an earthquake... Now here we have a fire. Next I should have a tornado... oh wait, I had one of those already too, kinda, with the hurricane winds that knocked off chunks of the skyscrapers in NY. (I think I wrote about that one on here.)
Anyway... I'm just happy I remembered a dream this week... it's been a while.

Tidal Wave

Real quick... (Cause I gotta go to church)

Last night I had a dream inside a dream.
I had a dream that there was a tidal wave and that my family was safe. Then I woke up (inside the dream) and was getting up with my husband. We lived in an old Victorian three story house up on a hill. We got dressed and I noted that everyone else was asleep. That included my kids and my aunt and one other child... maybe my niece or nephew. We were all on the top floor. I walked down stairs with my husband and out to the front porch. I looked down the hill to the main street of the town. (The hill we were on was at least a half a mile above the rest of the town). We were both standing there like with our morning coffee or something and a white rolling cloud could be seen in the distance. As I focused on it I could tell it was a tidal wave crashing through the city. I looked at my husband and said, "I dreamed this! Don't worry, we'll be OK. We need to go upstairs." We thought about waking everyone up, but I had a peace about being OK, so we didn't.
Then I woke up for real... pretty freaked.

Weird huh?

New York Storm

Halloween night I had a dream about a huge storm in New York.
Hurricane winds ripped through the city. Windows of sky-scrapers burst, and shattered glass rained down on people. Tornado funnels took chucks out of buildings.
It was a very realistic and disturbing dream.
I wasn't there. I was watching it like a movie with various camera angles etc.
Again, nothing I've watched or seen recently explains why I dreamed of a storm, or New York...

A Retreat, a Reunion, and an Animal Cruelty Documentary

The first dream of the night was about a women's retreat. I was there with tons of other church women I know. (I most likely dreamed of this because I was explaining to my sister last night how I met Kookye... which was at retreat.) In the dream we were staying up late (as usual) but in a totally new place. The cabins were like another camp dream I've had before that reminded me of a cruise.
There was a long line of sinks in the bathroom and bunk beds lining the walls of our rooms. I was the person in the group who was determined to stay up til morning. We had been running around goofing off outside and I had to go inside to pee. I found out I was on my period (which actually happened this morning), then I came out of the bathroom to a room of sleepy ladies about to go to bed. The clock said 3:00, and I said, "come on, let's go swimming!"
I went outside to some familiar pools (ones I dreamed of a while back in a dream about my ex-father-in-law and weight loss.) There was a normal pool and a hot tub, both very large. I jumped in the hot tub and thought it might make everyone sleepier, so I got in the cold one. I looked around and saw that no one joined me.

The dream switched and it was day time and I was in the pool at a reunion. (Another dream I've had before with Paul, if you remember. But the pool was still the same large square one from the dream about weight-loss.) This time the pool was again, mostly boys, and one came over to be my protector. He looked similar to some boys I've known in the past but not like one particular person. He was skinny and tall, and white with a pointy nose. He had on a leather jacket and jeans. I swam around with him for a while kind of backed up into his arms. Some other boy was trying to take me from him, but he was defending me. Then I got out. I rationalized with myself that I really didn't know him and he was never my boyfriend. Once I was out of the pool I walked around a stadium type place (again very much like the dream I had a while back that Guy and Mr. Leander were in). I saw lots of people and then out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane (another old boyfriend... my favorite from my youth). He had just arrived from being overseas (which makes sense because he's in the Air Force, and goes overseas fairly often). He still looked just like he did in 1989 with his long hair and glasses. He was wearing a black leather jacket that glistened like it was wet. He disappeared from my view, and I spent a few minutes trying to find him. Finally, I did, and walked over trying to get him to talk to me. I even put my hands around his neck, but he was determined to ignore me. Again, I was left disappointed.


My third dream started like I was watching a documentary, but shortly into the film, it was like I was there and being shown through the farm/factory.
The documentary was about the mistreatment of children and animals in Laos. (This idea popped up out of nowhere... it has no relevance with anything going on it my life... which is one reason it's so disturbing.) There was one small boy that the film followed through the entire process, but very quickly into the film. The mistreatment of the children and the animals went hand in hand, because he was the one forced to treat the animals the way they were treated. It started with him in a pin full of hay and mud like he had just finished taking the animals out, then the scene switched to a line of beheaded, de-footed, and skinned pig looking animals. They were still 'walking' in the line to get slaughtered though. The boy explained how he had to chop of their feet while they were still fluffy, and the imagery went to him bounding rabbits by their feet and chopping off their heads, then their feet, while still tied. The skinning was done by someone else. Even though everything had looked like pigs before, I got the understanding that this was a rabbit farm. The boy cried when he talked about how cute they were before he had to kill them with the machete.
I woke up quite disturbed.

So other than being disappointed after each dream, I don't see much of a relation between them.
Like I said, the Laos dream came out of no where, so I'll be thinking this morning about any possible meaning...

Earthquake in Class

I had multiple dreams last night, but one stands out from the rest.

The one I want to talk about is one about an earthquake.

I was in a Science class. It was a large class, much bigger than a normal high school room, and it was part of a house. The teacher was a man and we were all at our lab tables. (This is probably because of my daughter talking about her new chemistry teacher yesterday.) There was a TV screen in the front of the room playing a film silently. The earth started to rumble and at first I thought it may have been a bulldozer or something outside shaking the foundation, but soon I realized it was a massive earthquake. The quake lasted for 5 minutes or so. Students started moving around looking for where they should stand, squat, or whatever. I went to the door frame before any one else. The teacher was not helpful and played it off as no big deal. There was no damage done to the class; it was simply a rolling shake that felt like vibrations under your feet. The walls trembled, but nothing fell. I looked up at the screen where I saw that our film had switched over to the news, and though still silent, it showed a map that clearly showed San Fransisco and other parts of California away from the main land. There was a crack that ran down the side of California. I imagined the land sinking into the ocean, though the screen did not show that. I just kept looking at the map, and feeling the rumble, wondering how long it would last, and how much of California would be gone.

That was the end.

Yesterday on my walk I noticed that some cracks in the asphalt trail that I walk on had deepened. I hadn't been on that trail for a while. Since then we have had a small earthquake in a town about an hour south. The cracks have always been on parts of the trail... but I could swear that they grew over the weeks. I hadn't thought any further about it even a few minutes after I saw them on the walk. But in my mind of biblical prophecy I know that greater earthquakes are coming, so my dreaming mind must have latched on to that thought and played it out in a story. Who knows how accurate my map will be... but I was thankful that there was no damage in my classroom.

If we look at it metaphorically... My foundations are being shaken, but my learning is not injured, nor is my person, and I am first to seek safety.
:-)

Cleaning

I had two dreams last night... both somewhat disturbing.

One involved an older lady friend of mine, and one involved one of my Swell Sister friends.
The first took place in a gymnasium that had been used for an event. It was full of people the same race as my friend and all men if I remember correctly. They were clearing out of the room and my friend and I were left to clean their mess. (This is probably because we really have been cleaning a man's house this past week who's wife died a couple years ago.) In the dream we had large push brooms and were just sweeping piles of dust and trash. One man said something to my friend and she started crying. I heard the gist of the message and began to weep for her. It was about her husband cheating on her.

The second dream took place in a large warehouse type space full of arts and crafts equipment. My friend and I were all alone in there. It was our space, but it was a shop and class area too. We were cleaning up the pottery area. There were large metal shelves full of bisque-wear. A large industrial sink, and a counter top full of glazes and already painted but not fired bowls etc. The colors were vibrant and looked very tattoo-esk. The paint was still in it's chalky faze, and there was even painting on the floor. On the far side of the room were long tables set up for classes and some book shelves. It looked like an elementary school art room. The area we were standing in looked very warehouse-y though. Both my friend and I were picking things up and putting things where they belonged. I got side tracked with the paintings and how I could still move the 'chalk' around. My friend called me over. I was in a blanket. I think she had a blanket wrapped around her as well. (This is reminiscent of a photo shoot we did last month. Some of the pictures she took of me, I was in a blanket.) At one part in the dream I was naked standing there talking, but then a group of ladies came in the front door. They thought the store was open and wanted to do a project. My friend was upset that they had made it in the door... like the door was supposed to be locked. We both had glaring looks on our faces, and then I woke up.

No time to really ponder things this morning as I am off to help the first friend clean again today.

Questioning Places

Last night's dream started in a palace type hotel room in the middle east. I was there with my sister and my grandma. I went down without them to the dining room which was also grand. I sat down at a table full of Arab men. The parade of food started. Tons of tea as well. One man left and his place sat empty for a while. I invited the tea server to sit down with us. The other men at the table gave me a look of disapproval, but the server stayed. One of the men to my right asked me why I had chosen to move to that part of the world. My brain raced with reasons, including witnessing, but I only spoke of my long time dream of coming to Morocco and Jordan and Israel. (All of which I visited this past year.) I spoke of my love of the cuisine and the decor.
Then the meal was over and a few Arab women took my family and I on a walk on a country road. It was a long trek, like we were going far out of town to get away. The dirt road ran beside crops and carts (very reminiscent of the end of "Fiddler on the Roof"). One of the women asked me why I only had two children. I started to talk about me not being the "mom" type, but I realized it sounded 'wrong' in that culture, so I didn't talk further about it.
Then the dirt road came to a paved road going up a hill. We crossed over and started walking up the hill on the gravel on the right side. As we went up the hill I saw another dirt road that went off to the right and down the other side of the hill. I stopped to look closer saying to my husband, "I think that's the road... the one from my dreams that leads to the wise man's house." (In most of my dreams I am approaching the road by coming down the paved road, making it off to the left. This was the first time I had seen it from the other direction. It's also the road that led to the horse stables and ranch house from a different dream.)
I was very intrigued and followed the road down the hill. It was a very long road but my sight moved like I was on wheels looking through a movie camera. the walk/roll down didn't take long at all. As I got to the bottom I rounded the bend and realized it was the horse ranch, not the wise man's house. There was the same gravel parking area that they both share, but the wooden beams framing the area and the wagon wheel on the stone wall of the building let me know it was the horse place not the wise old man's house. There were beautiful trees surrounding the area. It was very picturesque.
Knowing that I had been there before I didn't think anything of walking right inside. Inside was no where I had been before. It was a man's house that was a little dated with shag carpet and linoleum, beer cans, wood paneling, and other 70's looking things. The TV was on in a room only separated from the entry by a half wall with a "window" in it. The man walked through that room, as did 5 dogs. The dogs were all mutts, but you could clearly see breeds in them; like one was mainly bull dog, another mainly cattle dog, another a mix of Saint Bernard and pug. A few of the dogs came over to see me one by one. I knelt down and petted them. The man said something to me about the place, but I don't remember.

Meaning...
Well, I did prepare a Moroccan feast Friday for 12 ladies from my church.
We have been talking about travel a lot in my house...
And I've been babysitting dogs all week. All of those elements are explainable...
Why though, was there the horse place? Why was it not the wise man's place that I wanted to find? Or are the horse place and the wise man's place one in the same, and I see which ever makes sense that night. Is the horse place about humility and service, and the wise man's house about encouragement and empowerment? Do they intertwine?
Why was it coupled with the middle east. I just finished reading "Son of Hamas" (a great true story!) My mind is definitely on the middle east, just because of our nearing the "End". Well, it could be as simple as that. I'll ask God to show me if there is any further connection.

I am The Warrior

First dream in a while that has been note worthy.

A familiar setting... one from a dream many months ago. In the dream from before the location was in the country past horses and down a slope that made it feel like the Shire. It was a cozy but decadent home of an elderly man. A "wise old man" that I went to deliver something to and ended up talking to, and looking around admiring his things.
In last night's dream I started inside the house. There were many women from church(past and present)gathered there for something.
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted my friend Jeffrey, who has been dead for several years now. Many of my friends were talking to her, some times in groups and sometimes one on one. I stayed away. The dream did not take place in the past... It was present day, and even in my sleep, I knew she was dead. (In life, she was one of my dearest friends and mentors... a kindred spirit... one I could go to with ANY thing.)
The event that we were all gathered for let out and I walked out the side door and on to the gravel drive. Jeffrey walked right up beside me and said, "Why have you been avoiding me?" I don't remember what I said, but it was something about not knowing "what" she was. She spoke to me with kind words and basically said not to ignore her. I woke up shortly after singing "The Warrior" by Patty Smyth from the 80s.

Jeffrey once told me all of my "issues" would be solved if I just realized how much God loves me; If I could see in myself, the value that He sees in me.
This little life lesson comes up again and again for me. I have a hard time feeling "loved... and worth the effort."
Anyway... that's just ONE piece of advice she gave me, but I know that she was referring to it when she said not to ignore her. Me wondering "what" she was speaks of me still doubting the source of the thoughts in my head that tell me to take "self" time. Ya know, if you think being a mom means doing everything for everybody else... and then you get bashed for not doing a very good job of that, you some times start to think that a voice telling you to take some "me time" must be the enemy, cause that seems selfish. blah blah blah.
The wise old man was not in his house, but it's clear to me that Jeffrey was the "wise" person in this dream that everyone was getting advice from.
So all that leaves is the song:
... I looked up the lyrics.

"You run, run, runaway
It's your heart that you betray
Feeding on your hungry eyes
I bet you're not so civilized

Well isn't love primitive?
A wild gift that you wanna give
Break out of captivity
And follow me stereo jungle child
Love is the kill
Your heart's still wild

Shooting at the walls of heartache
Bang, bang!
I am the warrior
Well I am the warrior
And heart to heart you'll win
If you survive the warrior, the warrior

You talk, talk, talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically
Stay with me we'll take the night
As passion takes another bite, oh
Who's the hunter, who's the game?
I feel the beat call your name
I hold you close in victory
I don't wanna tame your animal style
You won't be caged in the call of the wild

Shooting at the walls of heartache
Bang, bang!
I am the warrior
Well I am the warrior
And heart to heart you'll win
If you survive the warrior, the warrior
I am the warrior

I'm not sure if you can see anything in it... cause it was only meant for me... but I see a message.

Movies, Art, Fashion, and a Machine Gun

Last night's dream started as a movie...
I was John Cusack and I was with a young Dan Aykroyd in a two-seater plane. We were laughing and talking about girls and sex.
The view changed and I was out of the movie and sitting in the theater with my husband. We got up to leave and I mentioned to him that I had forgotten to go see Laurelin's show. (A friend of mine just had her first solo art show up at a gallery, and I did forget to go "opening" night.) So I walked over with him to a gymnasium where the show was. (It was the gym from my HS.) Her art was everywhere. It was like a life time of art; hundreds of pieces. I started on the wall to my right where there was a nautical theme going on. Perfect paintings of boats and wharfs (not her "norm"). I was commenting on one when her fiance David told me there was another wing that held her crafts. (She is a knitter and crafter as well... when the mood strikes.) So I walked over to that wing and looked behind glass at dolls and jewelry and buttons and other crafty things she had made (again, not her "norm".)
Then the scene changed and I was going to visit my friend Ramin in New York. I got to his apartment and started working on patterns on his floor. I was waiting for him to get home, but in the mean time I had taken at least 8 articles of clothing and was tracing them on to dotted pattern paper. They were all ugly clothes, very matronly. The idea was that I was going to try to get a job back at the St. John's design house(where Ramin and I worked after we graduated college). He came home and asked what I was doing. He looked over the clothes and my work and told me I was doing it all wrong. He said the clothes were hideous, and that my pattern tracing skills were terrible. "Don't you remember anything from school?" he asked. He then stormed off. The scene changed again and I was in the bed of a truck with all of the pattern making equipment and my luggage. Ramin was walking away from me down the NY street. I jumped out of the truck and went to him begging him to help me. We stood by a car and talked for a brief minute and then I saw a man jump in the truck bed and start to load up my stuff. I ran back to stop him, but he had a machine gun and pointed it at my face. I still yelled at him, saying, "That's my stuff, how dare you take it!" Ramin yelled my name, "Are you crazy?" he asked. Then I grabbed the machine gun that was at my face and turned it to face the man. Ramin again said, "Are you crazy? If you shoot him you'll be the one in trouble." But I shot at his arm anyway. Nothing... just air. So I aimed the gun at the yard beside me and shot again... just air. Then I reprimanded the man in the truck, "You were going to steal my stuff with an unloaded weapon?" I was still yelling at him when the dog woke me up.

This dream has loads of guilt in it.
Things that are bothering me that I keep replaying in my head.
That I still watch ill-humored movies, that I forgot Laurelin's show, that I screwed up the pattern for my daughter's Halloween costume cause I don't remember how to make sleeves. (I haven't done them since college.) It even has a bit from the book I'm reading called "Son of Hamas" where the machine guns he bought didn't work. The chapters in the book since that moment have filled me with guilt because I relate to the Israeli side, and they have kept the writer of the book in a prison torturing him for the past few chapters. (A true story... good book.)
The truck bed I'm sure has to do with me driving my husband's truck the other day to pick up my son's bike. (I don't drive it often... it's too big.)
Ramin is always put in my dreams when there is advice about my fashion career, because he is a person I will listen to. I think he stayed in the dream for the machine gun part because he is originally from Iran... which fits the setting of my book, at least in that neck of the world.
I think that the part about Laurelin's art not being "her's", was about myself as well. I used her in the dream because she is one artist I know that has a very common theme through her work so it's easy to see when it's not coming from 'her'. Most likely this was a reminder to me to be true to myself... which was also emphasized by the horrible clothes I was tracing... They were SO not me. :)

Reunion at a Water Park

I was texting my old friend Paul last night shortly before bed time... telling him that facebook doesn't give me "enough" of him. It's all so surface driven (which is good for the internet,) but I wanted to know more about where he was at in life.

When I was a teenager I often went out with guys just because they liked me. Paul was one of those guys that I never knew a thing about until we dated. It's a terrible method of dating and I preach against it to my daughter all the time, but that's what I did back then. If I found out they were "bad", or even if I knew they were beforehand, I hoped I would make them better. People call that missionary dating; I was queen of that method. Nothing ever happened to the boys I dated to make them better while I was in their life, but I have had multiple old boy friends tell me all these years later that I impacted them greatly. Few with stories of God, but most with stories of self-worth. I'm happy about that.

Well... last night I dreamed that I met Paul again at a reunion. The reunion was in a pool at a water park. All kinds of people from Aviano AFB HS were there, all swimming.
It was a deep pool with rocks on the sides and rivers trailing from it in a couple directions. The official reunion was only at that pool, though there were slides and other attractions all around. I was not aware of the other surroundings at the start of the dream... only the big pool with all my classmates.
I saw Paul and swam over to him. I floated my body up to the surface while we said our hellos and I took off something. Not sure if I had been fully dressed and was now in a swimsuit, or if I took off part of my swimsuit. I embraced Paul and then closed my eyes. He held me in a head lock and we talked. Only my head was above water now, with Paul's arm acting like a life preserver keeping me afloat. There was some "inappropriate" touching, and I asked if he should be doing that with all these people around. He laughed and said, "we're not there anymore", "I wouldn't do that in front of anyone." I opened my eyes and pulled away to find that we were now further down one of the lazy rivers that flowed from the pool. We continued down the river and on to multiple water slides, laughing and having a great time. After the third or fourth slide we went to get back into the lazy river but the entry stairs were over crowded with small children. Paul asked my what my intentions were. I explained to him that I had no desire to cheat on my husband and that I was very happy in my marriage. He was happy with that news. We stared at the obstacle of kids in front of us on the stairs and decided to try to jump over them. Right as I jumped the scene changed and I was no longer in the river or with Paul. I was now with my friends Shawn Kuver and the Rhodes sisters (Erin and Michelle), also from HS in Aviano. We were walking through a cruise ship type of hallway with red velvety carpets. There were trays of food and things nearby like we were at the back end of a restaurant. There was a piano sitting in the hallway and Shawn sat down to play, (well, goof off on it at least). One of my old youth group leaders, Jill, walked up to us and gave me a disapproving look. I took her queue and walked away.
Then I woke up.

Interesting dream, yes?
Water and pools etc. for me usually are about refreshing, cleansing, relaxing things. There was never a "bad" moment in the dream... even the inappropriate touch didn't feel "wrong". I think that with most dreams of sexual stuff the symbolism is more about intimacy than actual sex. (Of course, I could have been inputting my evening with my husband into part of my dream.) Anyway, I think that the dream speaks of having a private "deeper level" conversation with Paul (away from facebook... which is basically a reunion in itself), enjoying that, and both of us viewing our kids as obstacles that block that relaxing experience, the carefree life of when we knew each other.
As for the cruise ship part of the dream... I think it speaks of mischief. Shawn was most definitely one of my most troublesome friends. Especially given that Jill (a conscience symbol) snapped me out of it... I think that it was just a warning, still related to Paul... to not cause mischief.

Uninvited

Lots of crazy dreams lately...
No time to write them all.

Last night, one that sticks out was...

I was at a ball... all fancy and everything but I wasn't supposed to be there. I had snuck in with a friend of mine (can't remember who now). It was like a movie... I'm not even sure if I was myself. Somehow we talked our way into getting to stay but the lady in charge of security kept a close eye on us. We saw her walk away for a moment and went over to the sign in table that was unmanned, and grabbed a stack of invites. (The idea was that when you came in the door, you handed in your invitation as a pass to get in.) We stuffed the invitations into new cards and ran out of the door with them. The lady was looking around for us and noticed that we were gone and sent guards looking for us. In the parking lot (which was gravel on a big front lawn) we met up with some friends and crammed into a van. I sat on the passenger side floor board in front of a boy who was on the football team. There was one boy for each girl...
We hadn't pulled out of the driveway yet when my dog woke me up.

Yesterday I had a dream about a reoccurring futuristic airport. Checking in... going up elevators. This is the 4th dream I've had about that airport.

White Water, and A Year Book Photo Shoot

So last night before 3:00 I had a strange dream of going from rock to rock in a white body of water. The rocks were all white and the water was milky. It was all white, and I was in the water, but didn't want to swim in it, instead I was trying to stay with at least one limb on a rock, like it was dangerous.
My dog Knuckles came in at 3:00 and woke me up.

After a brief potty break I went back to sleep and dreamed of high school. I was with my sister and two old boyfriends. My sister was with Donnie, and I was with Jay. We were all posing in various places for pictures for the year book. Mr. Leander (my old English teacher, and teacher in charge of Year book) was taking the pictures.
We were at a stadium of sorts, sometimes on the grass and sometimes on the bleachers. I walked behind Jay and felt his bare back. "You're back is great, and you have soft skin just like Michael." I said. (Speaking of my husband.) Jay's head was shaved (like now, not like in HS).
Half way through the picture taking, while we were at the top of the amphitheater in the middle of a picture of my sister and I, I got a zit on my upper lip on the left side. It hurt and was huge. I tried to pose in a way that it didn't show, but the first chance I got I ran down to the rest room. True to form, the line was out the door. I thought about it for a minute and rationalized that since I didn't need to pee I could skip the line and just go straight for the mirrors. I did. There were vanity stations in the middle of a large sterile room. The stations were made of stainless steel and the mirrors were behind cabinet doors on the stations. There was even a small round close up mirror at the station I chose. I popped the zit and it immediately subsided and I was able to go back with out worrying about it at all.
Then my alarm rang.

Pieces of the dream like the close up mirror and even the zit are things from yesterday. The zit being reminiscent of a picture I saw of my nephew with a swollen lip from an allergic reaction to Motrin. The mirror being from my son's bathroom, that I was telling him to use to brush his teeth so that he would do a better job.
Even the photo shoot was reminiscent of a shoot I recently did with one of my swell sister ladies for our portrait club. (My sister in the dream, could have been symbolically a "sister".)
Anyway... I have no idea about Donnie and Jay and Mr. Leander, or the settings.
Or the white water and rocks dream for that matter.
The white water dream actually intrigues me quite a bit more. I'll have to think about that one.

Memories of Tucker

Last night I had a dream of my puppy. It was nice to see him again.
I won't write about the dream though...
Instead of replaying the trauma of his death in my mind, I am going to write out all of my memories of Tucker.

The story of Tucker actually starts 5 or so years ago. My wonderful friend Karen had the very best dog I ever met. I wanted one of her puppies so badly. But years went by and still no puppies. Being the impatient person I am, I went ahead and looked for a different puppy on my own. That's when I found Knuckles. Knuckles will be three this November. But this spring something wonderful happened... Peanut finally had puppies! All the puppies were spoken for, but by some miracle (in my mind) they fell through, and Karen posted on facebook that they were up for adoption. I bolted over the first chance I got!

When I arrived at their house I plopped myself down on the cement in back and Tucker came running. The biggest and toughest of the bunch. He barreled over his brother and sister in play, and I knew, if any one was going to be able to handle Knuckles... this one would be it!

Home I went, with the "bully" of the litter. My heart full of joy and completion.

I took him home to a lonely house. Both kids were gone for the summer (my son to camp, and my daughter at Nana and Papa's.) I was aching for someone to mother. Tucker met all of those needs.

It took Knuckles about a week to call Tucker "brother". There was entertaining jealousy for me to watch all day. Knuckles claimed my lap, sometimes by sitting right on top of Tucker. Tucker always took it like a trooper and simply picked a new spot to lay down.

If you leaned down to give him a kiss, you would most likely end up with a bite on the nose. His other favorite biting destinations were your ears, and the hem of your clothes. Flowing skirts and towels were his favorite.

Tucker was a natural at mousing. Only once did we find one in the back yard, but he caught it like a pro, and I had to pry it out of his clenched teeth. Knuckles loves to chase mice out in the field near by. Tucker was only allowed once... the stickers that matted his hair that day led us to just carry him through the field from then on. But one day a mouse shot out from the field and hid under a car. Knuckles couldn't reach of course, so I let Tucker down and two seconds later he emerged with a tiny tail sticking out of his mouth. I praised him as I pried open his jaws again, this time with much less resistance. He was so proud.

In our early days of walking he made it about half a mile then would flop beneath a tree for a rest. Recently though, he kept up with Knuckles for all of our three mile walk. On every walk he would look back at the house during the first block or two, dragging a little; then on our way home, once he realized that we were close, he would speed up and pull the whole way home. This was always amusing to me cause it's the exact opposite of what Knuckles does. Knuckles is always much more lively in the front end of the walk, then drags once we come within a few blocks of home on the way back.

Tucker was always the last one to bed at night. We'd tuck him in with Savannah, then a few minutes later we'd hear the jingle of his collar making his way to our room. He'd lay on the bathroom floor waiting for me to get out of the shower... then tug at the towel while I dried off.

Tucker's wake up time was 6:30 on the dot. The jingle of his collar would get closer and closer to my side of the bed, then a little whimper would accompany tiny scratches on the bed frame. "Pick me up." I'd lift him on to the bed and he'd bite my ear.

Tucker loved his brother Knuckles! He loved to jump up and bite his jaws, and his ears when he could reach. He learned everything from Knuckles... How to pee like a big boy, how to stay in the front yard and not run away, how to sit for a treat... we were just working on laying down, shaking hands, and kissing on command.
Tucker loved bully sticks, and would often try to trade his small one for Knuckles' big one. Knuckles, being a bit of a push over when it came to Tucker, would give his up and you'd see Tucker dragging a bully stick as long as himself around the yard.

One evening when we were tucking my son in bed, Tucker went under the bed and drug out an old bully stick of Knuckles' that he had hid there. We took it away from him, and he went back under and came out with a bone... He had found Knuckles' stash. (We would have never known.) He found another one (semi) buried in the back yard one day while we were swimming. He was a good little treasure finder.

On a few different occasions we would go back to his birth house for a visit. Knuckles came with us a couple times and Tucker showed him off to his family. It was so cute to see three little mops jumping on a great big "mean" dog.

Knuckles grew up real fast because of Tucker. Tucker took the spot of "puppy" and Knuckles instantly matured himself to responsible big brother. He was very protective (after the jealousy was over). When we wanted Tucker to come and he wasn't coming, Knuckles would get up and come to us... making Tucker follow him. Knuckles would alert us if there was a "mess" we needed to see, or if Tucker had something he wasn't suppose to have. It was so cute. Knuckles would even let Tucker have his food if Tucker asked for it... which led to me putting Knuckles' food up higher.

Tucker loved car rides. (I've been told that he was quite scared of the car before... so it must have been another one of Knuckles' teachings.) Tucker would run to the car door whenever he thought you were leaving. After bible study, when my ladies would leave he would attempt to get in each car as I said good bye. He loved to take the kids to school in the morning, and pick them up in the afternoon.

At the dog park all the owners would comment on his bravery and how much he liked the big dogs.

And that's all I'm going to say about that... cause that just made me cry.

I was talking to my dad this morning and he was talking about how his views on animals in "heaven" had changed. He was reminding me how big the new Jerusalem's measurements are, and saying what if the New Earth is expanded just as the New Jerusalem is, and surely there would be room for all the animals that we have loved. I really like that thought.

Tucker... I miss you... But I hope and pray to see you again on the other side.

Swiss Airport Confusion

Sorry for the gap in posts. I have been dreaming... just some have been about other friends who may not want those dreams shared.

Last night's dream, however, was just about my daughter and me.

We drove to an airport in Switzerland and went inside trying to find our way to the terminal.
The room we went into first was a salon. There were very snooty women working there and no one would help us. Finally I started walking out muttering to myself about the service. One of the ladies then said, "I will help you in a moment." I was already half way out the door, so we just kept on walking.
Once out into the foyer we saw an elevator and for some reason knew that the terminal was up a few floors, so we got in.
There was a Japanese business man in the elevator as well. We pushed a button and the glass elevator went up very quickly and then started to make a circle around a section of the foyer, also very quickly... like a kiddy-ride at a fair.
We realized this was not going to get us anywhere.
Once the elevator 'landed' we got out and went to an information desk area.
As we were waiting for our turn a voice over the loud speaker said, "Flights ____ and _____ for Denver and ______, now boarding.
I didn't know if our flight went through one of those places, so I started to panic and told my daughter to start gathering our things, that we would run over there.
As I looked down to grab our suit cases I saw that there was only one small suitcase and the rest were all art supplies. The art supplies were very unorganized and in small bags or cases. Like one bag full of paints, my tackle box of paints, a stack of sketch pads and paper, plastic grocery bags of brushes and fabric, chalks, etc. It was overwhelming. I tried to pick it all up but was having a very hard time.
I got frustrated with my daughter for not helping.
Then it was our turn at the information counter.
I went up there and the lady started speaking to me in another language. (We were in Switzerland after all.) I then asked her, in Italian, how to get to the 'train station'. Which I said incorrectly... "Dove è la stazione del traino?" But really I should have been saying "Dove è l'aeroporto". Oh well. Anyway, she then said, in English, that she didn't speak Italian. So in an Italian accent, I spoke to her in broken English. (So silly.)

When I started to think that we were going to miss our flight I looked around and noticed that there was a very fancy mall behind the foyer area. I told my daughter that if we stayed we could go shopping. She was not amused. She just wanted to leave. Then she said, "Mom, I don't need any more clothes, and neither do you." I concurred, but said, "Well, maybe we could just get one outfit for fun."

Then I woke up.

This one seems pretty straight forward in many ways.
i had a conversation with my husband last night about feeling overwhelmed and not knowing which art project to do next, which bible study, etc. So that speaks clearly about the disorganized bags etc.
My daughter has often expressed an interest in living in Switzerland. (She's been before, and loved it.) The only overseas place I've ever lived is Italy, which is why I reverted to that language. We are flying to Denver at Thanksgiving, to spend time with family friends in Manitou Springs. (So there's that reference... even as it being a non-final destination.)
I think to elevator and all the confusion is just about my lack of direction. My daughter being involved in all of it is probably just because I spent my evening with her driving her to dance classes. We talked about our passions and goals etc.

Killing Mice, and Changing Clothes

Disturbing dream last night...
I'm not sure if you know the story of the one day in my life when I had to kill a living creature (larger than a bug)... It was a rabbit that my dog and another dog chased down and attacked. Both dogs merely wanting to 'play' with the rabbit; they didn't kill it in their attack; they merely passed it back and forth between each other while it screamed in agony over it's internal injuries. The screaming was unbearable, so I stepped in and grabbed the rabbit (I had gloves on because it was winter), and I strangled it. It was horrible. I hope to NEVER have to kill anything ever again.

Well... last night's dream made me re-live this terrible experience, only this time it was a mouse the size of a cat.

In the dream I was in a complex house with many rooms and a strange lay out. There was a mouse problem in the house. I was with someone who reminded me of one of my parent's friends when I was 8 or so, named Sam. The man in my dream also reminded me of a college teacher I had named Eddie. (It's interesting now that I'm awake to think that, "yes, they are very similar". I would've never thought of those two in the same sentence.) Anyway we found three mice (all three HUGE like rats, but cute like mice) in one room hiding under a hole in the baseboard. I grabbed one, that seemed to grow in my hands to where I actually wondered if I was holding a mouse or a cat. I started to strangle it, then I snapped it's neck, then twisted it, and shook it violently. I could feel a thin cord in it's neck, that felt like a tendon with a pulse. I thought it was dead and we started walking toward the laundry room that led to the garage and the trashcan, but then a pulse came back and I took the mouse (now back to only 5 inches or so) and slammed it's legs on the corner of the wall (again, very violently).
All of the whacking on the wall woke me up. I woke up grimacing and quite disgusted with myself. The vibe in my room was a little eerie, so I said a short prayer and got up to pee. It was 3:10AM.

The dream I woke to at 6:10 was quite a bit nicer. :-)
I had returned from some event and was dressed in a fancy blouse that was very architectural (probably from watching Project Runway last night). I arrived at a dorm/apartment and saw a few old friends/acquaintances. (Robbie and John, aka "Pucket", both "Sk8er punks" back in the day if you want to give them a label.) They wanted to take me out to a bar for some drinks. I asked them if I was OK in what I was wearing, but they said I should change. I went in to change and my friend Ramin was there saying I looked fabulous. :-) My mom was there too and said I looked nice in the blouse. I had already taken off the blouse and was in a bikini top when I went to argue with the boys that the "manager" (speaking of my mom) said that I was fine in what I was wearing.
...and that was as far as I got before I woke up to the sound of my daughter getting ready for school.

My dogs are ready for their walk, and I have no real insight anyway, so I'm leaving today's post right there.

Sister Frida

I'm not sure if last night's dream was about my real sister, or my swell sisters (the art group I'm in).

I was in a small upper apartment that belonged to my "sister". (Oh, and before that there was something about going up in a parking garage.) Inside the apartment I went to the bathroom, which was open to the master bedroom. As I was sitting there my sister came in talking to some people. I didn't mind the other ladies that came in, but then a man came in and I gave my sister the evil eye, like, "get him outta here!"
There was a wall to my right that blocked him and others from seeing me unless they walked all the way into the room and looked back. I sat in fear that someone would come in far enough and do just that. The man was older and very large, and supposedly my sister's dad. I stayed on the toilet and started reading something I found on a table near by. It was a flier about a Frida Kahlo play. I read (or heard her say) that my sister was going to play 'the best Frida ever'! She was determined. As I thought about this, I could see my sister dressed up like Frida, and the whole thing form in my mind. I was going to play the "floozy". In my mind I saw Ann Jillian playing the part... and that's who I was going to try to be like. (ha!)
I got up and went to the closet. (It looked a lot like my mom's closet from when I was a teenager at VAFB.) A little Hispanic girl was there in the room with me, watching me look through the gowns. I saw multiple princess type dresses, but I was looking for something lounge singer-esk. I finally found a white flapper number that was made of mostly feathers. I started to put it on and noticed, out the window and over a balcony, lots of my sister's friends pulling up for a cast party.
Then I woke up.

Even though the person in my dream was clearly my sister, I think it could be about my swell sisters because they have a Frida Kahlo connection (where my sister does not). #2 this wouldn't be the first dream I've had where my real sister represented them. #3, the father in the dream was "her" father but not mine. He was very Diego Rivera-esk too, which would point back to my art group.
I'm not sure what "playing Frida" is about... simply about art... or more about her dramatic life... or about her illness? In my dream there was no art, and I saw more in my mind about the drama than anything.
Ann Jillian was the star of "Jennifer Slept Here" and old sitcom I used to watch when I was a kid. I thought she was so cool! I wanted to be like her. So, it's interesting that I picked her. I don't like the "other woman" in the Frida story. But here I was going to make her as cool as I ever wanted to be; Wearing white and everything. hmmm?
Another thing that stands out to me in the little girl in the room. The night before's dream had a little girl as well... randomly placed... who dropped her shoe in the pool and I fished it out. She was a little black girl... and this dream had a little Mexican girl. Both of them don't seem to be part of the story, but both are watching me as I do something. Interacting in a very subtle way. I wonder if it's not something about how little girls are watching me live my life... and what am I going to do to be a good example to them?
I help in kid's church once a month, and there are lots of little girls in there who look up to me. They grab my arm and snuggle up against it during our sitting down time. Or they tell me all about there pets at home. They pull at my dress and say it's pretty, or at the colored streak in my hair. I wonder (from the night before's dream) if my weight loss journey will effect a little girl... or if (from last night's) my dressing floozy-ish will effect another.
I'm debating on whether or not to get a tattoo... I wonder if that would effect a little girl.
In the book I finished a while ago the author was talking about the next generation of girls and what we will do to influence them. It's a huge calling, one that has been dropped by way too many people.
TV shows and commercials are raising our kids, instilling their values. My son watches the Disney channel a lot (as well as Cartoon network and Nickelodeon), and even aside from the shows that are on, the mini music videos they put between shows teach all the little girls that they need to look sexy and hard to be attractive. The shows teach boys that they are a few steps below girls in their intelligence, and that it's OK for them to be treated as pee-ons, but at the same time, that they get to control how girls look, because it's all about getting them aroused. Ugggg... I could go on about this, but you get the point.

A Refreshing Pool of Skinniness

I'll just jump right in.

Last night's dream started with my friend Alyson crafting on the floor between two pews at a church. I was there with her, watching, then my ex's dad, Steve, came and we walked outside with Cheryl's dog "Bear", through a very green lawn. The lawn had sprinklers going, that we dodged as we made our way to a big pool. There were two in-ground hot tubs right beside the pool. The pool was long and rectangular and had a basketball court that butted up against the back of it. I wanted to go in the hot tub but I knew it would feel better after the main pool, so I went ahead and dove into the pool which had other people in it too. It was very refreshing. Then a little girl who was walking along the edge by the basketball court took off one of her shoes and it dropped into the water. She was going to lean in to get it, but it was sinking fast, so I dove down to get it. The pool was VERY deep; luckily the shoe had only gone half way down. It was a tiny blue "Ked" type sneaker.
When I got up from my dive, my other ex boyfriend, Brent, walked into the scene carrying a bunch of taquitos wrapped in foil with names written on the sides in black sharpie (like they do at Chipotle). I saw "Moo" written on one of them: (My nick name). I said, "Is that for me?" he told me I could have it after he delivered the rest, but I insisted that he give it to me then. I got out to take it. It was a simple deep fried tortilla that had been wrapped around guacamole and some shredded pork. I don't remember eating it, but I walked back inside after that into a room that was set up for a party. I guess the party was over because my friend Dori and her mother were cleaning up all the streamers and such. I started to help them tear things off the ceiling... which amazingly enough, I could reach.
And that was the end.

Meaning...
I hope that seeing Alyson in church means she's going back. The crafting there on the floor would indicate that she was "being herself" at church. That's good too!
Steve coming to take me to a refreshing pool speaks about the diet I was just on. He is the one who gave me the homeopathic hCG drops that helped me loose 20 pounds and feel great about myself for the first time in a long time.
Walking Bear is just a tie in from last night when I went on a walk with Bear.
Brent coming with a taquito for me... Well I had Chipotle last night, so that makes sense... but why Brent? Maybe because when I started my hCG diet his facebook response was "Just eat right and exercise more". (Which is what I'm doing to loose the next 20.) ??? Anyway, the only parts that baffle me are about the shoe and about Dori's party. I'll have to go check when Dori's birthday is... maybe I missed it.

Waking... Whispering

Today is the first day of school for my kids. Needless to say, it's a little like Christmas morning where you don't really get a good night's sleep due to the anticipation.

This morning's dreams were not terribly memorable, but the ones from right around 3:00 were, so I'll share those.

In the first dream I was walking through what appeared to be a movie set. Many of my old "drama geek" friends (of which I used to be) were all posed for a picture. They were dressed in turn-of-the-century clothes and made up like corpses. The girls had Bride of Frankenstein hair-dos, and the guys looked straight out of "Interview with a Vampire". Some people were sitting in fancy chairs, and other people were on the ground or on fallen tree trunks, in lounging positions. Still others were hung to trees by nooses. There was fake blood and fake neck wounds, etc. on various people. It was a very artsy scene... morbid, but beautiful at the same time.

In the second dream I was in my home from Edwards AFB when I was a pre-teen. I was either naked or barely had anything on (I can't remember now), but I was walking from my room into the living room and all of a sudden a thick fog filled the house. It was wet like mist but not as wet as it should've been for that amount of 'cloud'. I sensed something wrong and began to speak to the fog in tongues. As usual, in my "casting out demon" dreams, my voice was only a whisper, and that put a fear in my heart (as it always does)... which in turn wakes me up... I woke up whispering in tongues. My dog, laying beside me, came up to my face to see if I was OK. I went ahead and finished what I was saying, unsure if I needed to deal with something in the room, or if it had just been in my dream. Generally speaking, I figure if it's in my dream... it's in my room.

I got up to pee (which is when I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:00), then I went back to sleep and had a dream about taking a shower.
Sometimes you need a good shower after yucky stuff has filled your brain. :-)

Kid's Driving

My daughter is finally home, which means someone else is able to have the puppy sleep with them. :-) And that leads to me remembering more dreams!

Last night I had three that I remember.
One was of my friend Barbara's daughter Brooklyn, driving.
Brooklyn is only 11. Barbara and I were sitting in the back seat and her two daughters were in the front. We drove out of a gravel parking lot and on to a busy one lane road going the wrong way. We drove on the shoulder past a steady stream of cars and trucks. The whole time I was panicking and telling Barbara to hop over the seat and take over.
We finally arrived at an apartment building and went inside to their house. (They don't really live in an apartment, but they did here.) We stayed inside and got ready for a day of school. My son was with me and we were ready to go. We looked at the clock and it was past time to leave. Then Barbara reminded me that her daughters were home schooled now (which they are), so they really didn't care if school had started; it didn't matter to them. I was a bit upset, because it did matter to me, and we were going to be late to the first day of school. She suggested that we not go and just show up the next day. I woke up after that.

The second dream involved my son being a toddler again, and peeing in a sink while I held his body up so he could reach. It was an odd dream, but sure enough, I woke up having to pee.

The third dream was at work. I was back at St. John's and was assigned the task of going through a room full of samples. I went through piles and piles of clothes and accessories. The piles were mostly clothes from my Disney job not from St. John's. (Mostly little girl's princess dresses.) I put a huge stack aside for myself, saying that "my nieces will love these." Then a co-worker came by and asked how it was going. I told her she could go through the piles I didn't want. Then she questioned my free-for-all by reminding me that last year we saved everything til the end and had a sample sale with it all. "Oh yeah", I thought. So then I put everything back into categories and went over to a large metal shelf and started sorting through briefcases and other men's accessories.
That was the end of that dream.

Any meanings? Well... Kids ran the show in all three dreams, either directly or in-directly. But is there a lesson... I'm not so sure.
I do need to call Barb; she hasn't called since her daughters have been home from their dad's house.

Lettuce

Last night's dream's setting was with my pastor's wife, in her kitchen. I was over for some reason and she was going to feed me lunch. Her daughter was there as well. She had everything prepared but said she needed some lettuce. I looked around and noticed there were no walls on the rooms. I could see outside perfectly. I saw four different pillars like tree trunks that came up to 6 feet, with heads of lettuce on top. I pointed them out and said, "you have plenty of lettuce." She said that wasn't the right kind. Then I asked if we were going to have butter lettuce, "because I really like butter lettuce." Then I asked if butter lettuce had more calories.

That was basically the extent of the dream.
I had another one before that, that involved my mom, but I can't remember it now.

All I'm taking from the dream is that lettuce is on my brain from being on this diet, and that I've also been thinking about talking to Karen about nutrition because her daughter told me she has a book about eating for your blood type, and I am a little interested in what it would recommend for me.

Illustration Assignment

In last night's dream I was back at my old job, assistant designer at St. John Knits. In the dream I had an illustrating assignment.
I had my rough sketches with me as I got in the car with my mom and my sister.
We went to a post office for my mom to mail something.
We were in a small hatch-back sports car.
We got out and noticed that the store would be closing soon.
I stood for a moment with the drawings on the top of the car while my mom and sister went in, then I joined them. Inside, a lady with green on tried to cut in front of us. (All of us were wondering who would be the last costumer seen, since they were closing.) I informed her that we were also in line. (Very out of character for me.)
As we were at the front of the line my old friend Tim came from the back room (as if his family owned the place). We hugged and exchanged "How nice it is to see you"s. Then he suggested we go outside to be able to talk better.
As we walked out he turned into my friend Ramin (they have a vaguely similar look and similar character). Ramin looked at my drawings, (he worked at St. John's back in the day too) and critiqued them. He told me to make them curvier. "Things have changed. Make 'em look more like we did in school."
I woke up as I was imagining a hippier illustrated body.

In real life, last night I worked on a fashion illustration of my friend Rebecca. It's the second friend I've done this past week, and I'm planning on doing a few more friends before the year is out. They are indeed curvier than the illustrations I drew in school or at work. But perhaps I need to adopt a curvier style into all of my fashion illustrations and get back into that a bit more in general. I love doing it. I always forget how much until I actually do one. (It's been around a year since I've done an illustration.)

PS... Found out today was Tim's birthday!

Backwards

Well, as much as the new puppy waking me up at 5:15 is annoying, I will say it definitely helps with remembering dreams.

In my first dream I was watching Greta (the mother of my daughter's ex-boyfriend) vacuum my house. The vacuum she was using was so full of static that it was causing sparks which started to ignite half way through vacuuming the bedroom. The carpet starting catching on fire in little spots here and there. She wasn't even flinching about it, so I grabbed a piece of cloth and started slapping the flames with it. The fire would go out in one spot, only to re-ignite in the area she had just vacuumed. I went behind her putting out each fire. (She also, was backing out of the bedroom... so we were both 'backing up'.) Then one fire starting traveling up her arm. I slapped it as well. She finally took notice and watched as I slapped her arm with the cloth. It wasn't working as well on her arm so I told her to go put her arm in some water.
That was the end of that dream.

The next dream was about a feast. I was inviting my daughter's ex and his whole family to a dinner at my house. (It was like the house we lived in when my son was a baby.) The meal would be held outside and had been cooked on a huge grill. I was grilling the meat and had told my friend Mitzie to work on the salad. The meat and the baked potatoes were ready and the guests were about to arrive. The whole house had cooking things all around as if I had been catering an event for a hundred people. I wasn't terribly worried about cleaning it up because we would be eating outside. I looked over and saw lettuce all over the place in the entry room. I told Mitzie that they would be here soon, and the salad came first... "why wasn't it ready?" She said she didn't realize that I had told her to make the salad. I was pretty pissed off at that, and had to rationalize with myself that we could eat backwards. We would have the meat first because it was hot and ready anyway... then the soup... then the salad.

In the last dream I was walking in a city. I think it was suppose to be New York. I was in a 'not very nice' section. I arrived at a tall townhouse that was mine. All the houses on the block were just like it. They were all gray cement, three stories high, close together, on a hill, with a yard in 'back' surrounded by a retaining wall. Before I noticed the back yard I thought that living in the city would mean that I didn't have a yard.
I was waiting for my mom to show up so I could show her my new home. She came and we walked around the outside. I realized that the yard in 'back', was really the front yard, but no one entered that way. Mine was the house on the far right of the block, so to get into my house, you just came in the side door straight from the side street. The yard was empty.

Interpretation...
In all three dreams things are "backwards"; that must mean something. That is the theme I see. Remember, three dreams in one night with a common theme is a serious message. It's important that I get this.
In the first dream, Greta was vacuuming backwards.
In the second dream, I had to serve dinner backwards.
In the third dream, the 'back yard' turned out to be the 'front yard'.

I'm going to start with something I've dreamed before: yards.
Back yards typically have meant things that are private to MY family that no one else sees. Front yards are public. Things about me or my family that everyone sees.
In dream number 3, the yard was empty; It was big and it had a retaining wall. At first I didn't even think I would have one. So is it empty cause I'm new there? Or is it empty because it's empty?

There should also be something significant about my daughter's ex's family. I haven't dreamed about them since they broke up early this year. Even then, I typically dreamed of the boyfriend, not his mom. I suppose it could be because yesterday we were talking about going to Costa Rice again, and that is where both of our families went on vacation together.
If I take their family as simply symbolic of Costa Rica, then does that mean that going could cause fires in the bedroom? Or that how I envision the trip is going to be turned around, "backwards" in some way? If that's the case, how does the NY town house play in to that?

Last night I put the possible vacation to Costa Rica as my facebook status. I woke up to seven comments on it. One of which was my husband saying, "Wow... how does a f-a-m-i-l-y discussion became a F-a-c-e-b-o-o-k status update, that quick? There has to be some sort of protocol to follow. ...you hear what I'm screaming? :)"
This could be how the "back yard" became the "front yard". (That could also account for the "fires" in the bedroom. I don't think he was very happy with me.)
Another one of the comments was my best friend saying, "Wait till next April and go to Costa Rica when Lance and I may be there." Perhaps this is the reversal of the trip. (of course, that's just wishful thinking on my part.)

Old Friends

For the past few nights I've had dreams of old friends.
A couple nights ago I dreamed that I was preaching to my friend Paul. He was giving me excuses about why he didn't like Christianity... "couldn't have 'fun'." etc. I was telling him of the "fun" I have. :-)
Last night's was about my friend Ryan. (There were other old friends involved, but mainly Ryan.) He had made a huge mess with all kinds of things: some metal, some food, and I was cleaning it up for him. His sister was standing near by and was disgusted with him, as were a few other friends, but I could see that he was sad, and I wanted to help. I think he was drunk... or at least "sloppy" acting.

Today I'm praying for my friends... old and new... I think we are at a place of change. It's time to "poop or get off the pot". I love my friends. I wish the best for them all!

Fabrics and Fires

Well, now that my husband is home I remembered another dream (cause he wakes up at 5:30).
It was a bit disturbing.
At first I was in a fabric store. A huge warehouse full of metal shelves holding all sorts of fabrics. Some were draping down, others just folded in their place.
I was going around seeing which ones I wanted swatches of to take home.
I wanted some pre-lined gray po de soie; (Like that exists), and whole bunch of other fancy fabric. I finally decided and was taking my friend Ramin through the store to get the swatches, but kept forgetting where the chosen fabrics were. I wondered why I didn't just take the swatches as I went around the first time.
Then I walked to another part of the building that was "my house". It wasn't anything like my house and I could still see that I was connected to the warehouse, but I was "home".
I went into the kitchen. The sink had a window over it that looked out at the front yard. (It reminded me of my front yard when I was 8.) As I stood there, I looked down into the sink and a glass had nearly imploded from a tiny piece of hot coal that was sitting inside of it. It was like a chemical reaction had caused the glass to fold in on itself. Then I glanced up at the yard and puddles of gas all over the yard were catching on fire. I yelled for my husband. I showed him and told him to get the hose and put them out. He ran outside as I watched from the window. The fires got bigger and bigger as I waited for him to get the hose. Then I woke up from his alarm.

Off the top of my head all I can say is "I don't want fires in my front yard." That speaks to bad things for all to see. It's encouraging that my husband was rushing to put them out, but who started them?
Are they linked to fabric in some way? My Feasts fashion show I'm working on? hmmm.

If the Shoe Fits

I had to wake up to pee around 2:00 and luckily I did recall that I had a dream about buying shiny silver shoes with my husband. They looked like metal, but felt like leather. He pointed out some that had a long front and black heels. I told him those weren't "me", and proceeded to look through 4-5 other pair... all the same color story. I ended on a pair that had a small silver toe part with a little rectangle metal applique with a logo on it on the right side of the toe. They were very cute and modern.

I had another shopping dream with my mom... but I can't remember that one.

New Puppy

So sorry no posts lately...
I have a new puppy... he likes to wake up EARLY. With the puppy's need to pee on my brain I keep forgetting what my dreams were.
I know I'm having them. I know the first three nights of having the puppy they were all "puppy dreams". Now I seem to be back to "normal", but I couldn't tell you what any of them have been about. It's so weird to me to not be able to retain anything, but "this too shall pass". Until then... happy dreaming to everyone else out there. :-)

Pet Duck

An odd dream I must say...

I had a large fish tank. It had fish and a few frogs in it.
I watched as a small frog ate some fish. Then a larger frog ate the smaller frog... all in one gulp. Then out of no where a small off white duck (not fuzzy, but not full grown)came from the corner and gulped up the large frog.
I scooped the duck out of the tank and into my arms. I carried him around and called him "Toodles"
He was my new pet. I carried all over the place. Then I took him to a park. The park was on a hill and had a concrete drainage ditch running down the side. There was a structure to the right, the drainage ditch all along the hill, and to the left, open grass with some trees. Straight ahead was the bulk of the park to the right and left... with a stream and everything. I had in mind to let Toodles swim in the stream.
We walked down the hill to the right of the drainage ditch, then at the bottom, where the stream started, I let Toodles go.
Almost immediately he got pulled by a current over to a storm drain where the ditch went under a ledge and the stream started on the other side. I panicked. I ran and knelt down and put my hands under the ledge trying to free him from the drain.
Then I woke up.

ummm yeah... I have no clue.

Three Sizes of Horses, and a Noah's Ark Cartoon

Well, I'm happy to say that last night's dream was much more pleasant than the night before.

The dream took place at our old house at VAFB (where I lived when I was 16-17), but the front yard was where the driveway was, like our house had been rotated to the right 90 degrees.
I was out "front" with my mom at a mirror that was in front of the bathroom window. We were doing our makeup outside. Nanny (Mom's mom) was there as well, inside cooking or something. I was putting on eyeliner when she came out to talk to us. Mom and her went back inside and I turned and faced the upright piano we owned (now at my sister's house), also in the front yard.
A huge tank (or ship) of some sort came gliding into our yard and stopped right at the piano, making a small dent in the left edge of the piano. I jolted around, very upset, to see what had hit the piano. When I recognized the man standing with the ship, I eased up and began to talk to him. He was an elderly man that I knew (in my dream) and I soon found out he was bringing things over for a Bible study for kids. Almost as soon as I realized what was going on I saw many more people, and the rest of what the man was bringing. The first thing was a giant horse. At first I thought it was an elephant, but looking up at the face I saw it was a horse. Someone was riding it too. Then I saw a normal sized horse and it had a rider as well. Then there was a very small miniature pony that I told a little girl (maybe 4 yrs. old) that she could ride it. My dad came out and he and the elderly man were putting a video of a cartoon Noah's Ark story on a screen. I was watching the video with all the kids scattered around the yard and with all these crazy props around the yard too.

That was it.

A logical thought is that because I'm helping out in Children's church today, I was simply dreaming about that. That really only covers the video part of the dream though.
I don't quite feel like thinking much about it at the present, so I'm going to go have my Fourth of July!
Happy Independence Day Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

Demons with Presents

First demonic dream in a while...
I've tried to block it out a bit, so you'll only get glimpses...

There was a trolley involved. I was traveling. I came to a little room, not so much like a hotel room as a cabin. I unlocked the door and went inside to settle myself. Then there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there was an over weight baby-faced guy delivering something (can't remember what). I took the thing and then proceeded to close the door. He stepped in and attempted to kiss me. I shoved him away. (I think I had a little girl with me somewhere in the room. My friend Kathy's adopted daughter.)(I saw them yesterday.) I tried to get him out the door, but he was over powering me. Instead of going into the house I decided I would have an easier time getting away if I ran. So I started running. I don't remember if he turned into a tall black woman, or if I just saw her to my right. As I was running he/she began to ooze a clear goop out of somewhere near the top of his/her head. Then she/he began to fling it at me. It hit my head and moved down my face obscuring my vision. I was trying to wipe my eyes as I ran but the stuff was so thick I couldn't remove it, and now it was just getting all over my hands and arms too. I couldn't continue running, but I kept struggling. As he/she came closer I started to realize it was demonic. I began to say, "Go away, in the name of Jesus", but my words were only whispers (as they often are in these dreams). I tried over and over again until I was aware that I was sleeping, and that the only way I was going to be able to speak up was if I woke up. So I woke up. I lay in my bed catching my breath for a minute then told the spirit to leave. (and 5 minutes later... I was back asleep).

I did have another dream in my second half of sleep and it was a pleasant one.. but I can't remember it.

The dream reminds me of a conversation I had with Tanya the other day. We were talking about demons bringing "gifts" to our door. "Gifts" of lies, like "You're not good enough." or "You can't do this, give up." (stuff like that) Tanya equated those lies that we often accept as packages arriving full of $#!** and us signing for it, and saying, "Oh thanks" as we take the package full of $#!** into our house, and then proceed to rub it on ourselves like lotion.
In the dream, I accepted the package... giving the demon a foot in the door. I didn't KNOW it was a demon at the time. He was offering me something I wanted, like pizza. (on this diet... I'd die for some pizza). It's interesting that he was fat; like he represented all these temptations to cheat on my diet... or just to give up and be happy with being over weight.
He wanted to obscure my vision with the ooze stuff... that's what demons do; They just don't want you to see things clearly. If they can make it look better (and you get to live in denial), or if they can make things look worse (and you get to live life depressed), either way works for them. "Don't deal with the problem, and we'll always have a 'way in'," they say.

I'm praying this morning that that was a Solomon type experience. (Going back to when Solomon asked for wisdom in a dream... and it really happened.) I would love to have just fought that demon and won, in real life. I don't want him back.
I have such a hard time with food, and such a hard time believing I can do this. I don't want to accept those lies as presents anymore... they are packages of $#!**.

Crayons in the Pool, and Food I Can't Have.

real quick...

I had a dream about my son coloring at the bottom of a pool and leaving the crayons down there. In the morning the pool was full of water and the crayons were still at the bottom of the pool.

Dream #2 had a HUGE spread of yummy food at a side bar... all dessertish... Baklava was among them... lots of it. I started to put some on my plate. My mom and family were there. Then I sat down and a friend's son, Justin Parrish, was sitting to my left. He opened a bag and out poured tons of sliced papaya. On the table there was pineapple and other tropical fruits. I looked at it all and said, "I can't have any of that."
That was the extent of the dream.

(this diet is driving me batty.)

Propositioned in a Theater

Last night's dream was disturbing.
I have no clue it's origin... Other than I was disturbed last night due to an upsetting e-mail from my son at camp. Poor little guy is having a hard time.

In the dream I had to sit in a seat that nearly hung over the edge of a very high balcony in a theater. There was something to do with college (noted by the people I saw around me). I sat waiting on an assembly of some sort to start.
Then two teen aged boys walked up to me propositioning me. One looked a lot like Paul Bettany (the dude who played the gambling poet in "A Knight's Tale".) He was scrawny and had redish hair and was naked. the other boy was the one that did the talking and was trying to get me to have sex with the red headed boy. They went so far as to show me his penis (which looked a lot like a finger with multiple bony knuckles) and give a detailed account of how each of the "knuckles" would feel.
I was repulsed, but was actually contemplating saying yes. Thankfully, I woke up before I made any decisions.

Aside from the strange penis... I can tell you that heights frighten me and that my college years were the biggest challenge of my life. Those two things make sense to be in last night's dream because of the fear I was feeling about my son, and about the challenge (the hardest of HIS life) that he is facing. The boys and the sex and the freaky penis... I have NO idea.

Closets and Camp

Still not sleeping great. I made a point to not drink so much water so close to bed time, so I was only up 3 times last night, but it took me forever to fall asleep. I'm allowed to have coffee and tea on this diet (which I don't usually have much of), and I had two espressos yesterday and a cup of tea... I think that's what did it.
Today... only in the AM!

On to the dream...

I was at a house from my childhood (from when I was a teenager at VAFB), but the carpets were from my friend Barbara's house. The carpets were mildewed and in bad shape. I was walking around with pants and a bra on thinking about the carpet when I noticed an old man walking up the driveway. I darted into my parent's bathroom and slumped down on the floor so I couldn't be seen. (The driveway came right past their bathroom window.) I could hear the man talking to my mom or somebody. He looked and sounded like Doc Hopper, the villain from "The Muppet Movie".
After that I went to look for a shirt. I looked in my mom's closet, which turned into a film set wardrobe area, with rolling racks of clothes. I found a cute white pique top with a scoop neck, short poof sleeves, and a coral band around the low waist. I put it on and then looked for a bottom. I found a floral skirt that watched nicely. It had a belt that wove in and out of the upper material. The skirt was very full and I had to tuck in the shirt. Once I did, I didn't like it anymore cause it made me look like a balloon. So I took it off. There were two camp counselors (one girl who looked like an old college teacher, Jane Wu, and one boy who reminded me of my son's camp counselor). They were telling me it was time to get going and that I had to hurry. We were going to San Fransisco for the day. I quickly found some jean shorts to shove on, and as I was putting away some other things I found a stash of baklava that had been hidden from us from an earlier meal. (The stash was in an antique side bar that I have in my hallway in my room, in real life.) I grabbed a few hand fulls and made a break for the road. It was a busy street with lots of cars and a very steep hill... like we were already in Frisco. I crossed to the center divide and started walking up hill following other campers, with some still behind me. ...and that was the end.

Well, obviously my dreams are having camp details thrown in because of my son being at camp.
My college illustration teacher, Jane Wu, was probably the most challenging teacher I had, so that speaks to challenge; I'm not sure if for me, or for my son.
Sneaking baklava out of my own sidebar in a place that my furniture did not belong, is very telling of how my diet is going. Yes, I'm still sticking to it and doing well at it, but the temptation to cheat (especially with one of my favorite sweets, baklava) is very strong. My way is to sneak. (If nobody sees, it really doesn't count, right?) WRONG. I HAVE to get that type of thinking OUT!
Why San Fran? I don't know. I saw pictures of my son hiking at camp the other day... perhaps walking the streets of San Fransisco is the closest I will come to hiking. :-)
Doc Hopper was a sneaky villain... why was he coming to my house? I think it had to do with the carpets. I have been spending more time with Barbara lately. We even talked about shampooing her carpets while we were on our walk today. Who's the villain that has to do with Barbara? hmmm.
And here I am again with just a bra! and again with looking through clothes. hmmm.
I should look at the past dreams with these themes again and see if I can draw any conclusions.

My Sister's Bungalow

Last night's dream:
I was in a room at a camp type setting with my sister. (Yes, her again... perhaps I should really talk to her next time she visits. ;-)
Anyway the room grew as we stayed there. It started very bungalow-esk and then by the time the dream was over it was like our godparent's (the Love's) house. (Yes, their last name is Love. ...which I'm sure has a significance to the dream's meaning.)
At first we were just settling in. Then there was a hamster that we had to take care of. (I'm pretty sure that imagery came from the Kia Soul Hamster commercial that played at the movie theater yesterday.)
The hamster was a hand full. I was trying to set him up in a Barbie doll house. (Last Wednesday I also saw "Toy Story 3".)
Anyway, as we gathered things and as we got ready for bed the small bungalow room became a two story house (also somewhat bungalowy ala the movie I saw yesterday "Knight and Day", when they were on the secluded island... but with just enough of the Love's house to recognize it.)
There was a movie on the TV; a western. (The TV was always on at the Love's). The stairs were the same as the ones that led up to the Love's game room. (The same stairs I fell down when I was a kid and knocked out my front tooth.)
I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I remember that I was trying to go to bed/fall asleep, and I couldn't, I was uneasy about something. (I did have a hard time sleeping for real last night. On this diet I'm drinking LOTS of water, and I had to get up and pee 5 times!)

Meaning... well, my sister lives in an early 1900's bungalow style house (not the type of tropical bungalow I was dreaming of, but perhaps it was just about the name bungalow that would point me to her.) So here I am at my sister's house... kind-of, but we were both looking around and getting settled. It was also the Love's house... our "god"parents from childhood. This could be a stretch, but perhaps it's about showing her God's love, and getting her settled in His house, which would be Him inside of her... still "her" house. My uneasy feeling comes around often when I think of her "walk" with God.
As for the hamster and the Barbie house, I'm pretty sure that's just media getting in there. I was a big Barbie freak as a child though. My daughter had a hamster once, and at that point in her life we often called her by my sister's name because they were so alike.
Well, no more time to think, I've got to go to church.

Let the Inappropriateness Continue

Another weird one last night.

It began in a house most closely related to a house lived in in Florida when I was 7, but with elements of a house from NC when I was 5. I was there with my daughter and my son and we were getting ready to leave for somewhere. My daughter was ready and in the kitchen and my son was still putting on shoes and socks in his room. I was yelling at him to not lolly-gag. I was even getting violent. Not hitting him, just raving like a lunatic. He was a teenager in the dream (which is the first time I've ever dreamed of him older than he is). My daughter was still a teenager too though.
Out of the blue an old class mate named Terri Scott showed up at the back sliding glass door. I motioned for her to come around to the front. Then I noticed it was raining as she made her way around to a side door (also glass... and there were many windows along the side, so it was like I saw her the whole way as she walked). There were two dogs outside and both were wet and muddy from a puddle near the back door. I didn't want then to come in but I told Terri to come on in the side door. The dogs ran by her as she opened the door.
I walked through the back of the house again and my dad was sitting on the floor naked (a sight I've never actually seen). My daughter walked by and I got very upset with my dad for being exposed in front of her.
The scene changed a bit and we were in a house that I lived in when I was a pre-teen. It was just me and my dad and my mom in their room. My dad was still naked and the vibe was all wrong. Luckily I woke up then.

Thoughts on meaning...
well, my daughter and I had a conversation about penises the other day and how she had never seen one that didn't belong to a small child, or a statue. Also a day ago my nephew was wandering around the house naked and my dad made a comment about it. He quoted my daughter from when she was 2 and had walked in the bathroom where my dad was peeing. She said, "Why he's peeing through his dinger?" (meaning "finger").
That, I suppose, is why a naked father was in my mind.
As for Terri and the dogs, and the rain, and the glass... well, I don't know. I have been waiting for years for Terri to tell me something about her brother. He was a good friend of mine. She was a few years older than me and he was in my grade. She's on facebook, and he's not... so I've been asking about him, but still no word. Perhaps she will tell me soon. I'll go look on her page for news. I'm hoping it's not bad... as the rain and yucky dogs would suggest.
And why was I yelling at my son? Yes, he often does lolly-gag and it's irritating, but not "rage" worthy. Perhaps it's just my anger at kids at camp surrounding my son. I got a letter from him yesterday talking about some bullies at camp. It made me mad. Socks (with his name on them in sharpie) make me think of camp... which is what he was putting on in the dream.

So Many Unwritten

I had my family visiting for the past week, so I never took the time to write my dreams. I did, however, have many nights of very interesting dreams. (Seems to always happen when they visit.)
I really wish I would've taken time to write them.

Last night's involved peeing in inappropriate places. (My nephew peed on my couch yesterday.) It was me doing the peeing in the dream though... in a doll's bed. At the end of the dream (after much pee related material) I had my husband below a table at a HS reunion in Vegas, doing things to me that are reserved for the bedroom. It was an all around "inappropriate" dream.

The night before I had a dream about switching rooms with my sister. My room had all of my old silver, black, and pink furniture, and her room had oak furniture, lots of knickknacks, a huge closet, and a small filing cabinet on her dresser. (We saw an old filing cabinet at the antique store Wednesday that my mom said would be good for my sister's organizing business.)
We switched rooms (I don't remember why) and an old lady came to look at our rooms. I showed her my sister's room as if it was my own. (Her room was very far from my style and would not have fooled anyone who knew us... so the lady must not have known us.)
It was a strange dream, and yet another dream about me being in my sister's closet looking at clothes. This time it passed beyond the clothes, and I looked through all of her things. I don't know what she did in my room cause I never went back in there.

This theme of my sister's clothes etc. is curious to me. I wonder if it has to do with weight... or if it's more about shared experiences as children... or the things I've adopted from my sister in my personality. hmmmm.