"Upstream"

Well, it has begun.
I have officially started my first "dream painting".
I actually started three yesterday and trashed the first two.
My husband encouraged me that I can't expect to get this right on the first try. I've never done it before... It may take time. I shouldn't assume that the first one I do will actually go into the show in August.
So I cut myself some slack and started another one thinking that it may end up in the trash too.
The painting I'm working on today is a dream from two days ago.

The dream went like this:
My friend Olivia and I were in an elevator trying to get to the 5th floor. There were digital clock type things sitting on pedestals around the elevator. Each one displayed the #5 in some way. I kept pushing the #5 on all the various screens and buttons, but we never went anywhere. At one point we pushed 7 accidentally (because the numbers on the clocks changed)and went to the 7th floor, but we stayed in and tried to push 5 again. The time was moving so slowly that Olivia started to deal with a lady behind a bank desk about her house mortgage (all inside the elevator). Finally we got out at the lobby which was a huge room like at a train station/mall with white marble floors with black tiles interspersed. Ahead of us down a long grand hall was a man dressed like a guard of some sort with another man in a trench coat standing/floating above his head. I announced to Olivia that the man on the guard's head was an angel. We saw the grand staircase to our left and decided to use it to get to the 5th floor.
As I walked up the stairway I was no longer with Olivia. My dad was with me. The stairway was now outside and it zigzagged like a typical outdoor stairway with gaps between the stairs. To the left of the stairs was a waterfall. At each landing the waterfall had a small pool about 4-5 feet long, just like the landing. There were coy fish swimming up the waterfall like salmon going upstream. At one of the landings I stopped to rub the scales of one of the coy, soothing it, trying to let it rest. Then I let it go again. At the next section of stairs I noticed that a red nose pit bull was swimming upstream. She was trying her hardest to make it out of the waterfall, but just like the coy, she was going up, not down. I knelt by the side of the small pool and pulled her out of the water. Then, pit bull by my side, we made our way up to the 5th floor. In the room, the dog rested. I was thinking about the pit bull's energy level and how she must be so used to swimming all day that she may be too high energy for someone like me. She was all muscle. There was no fat on her body, and you could see her ribs. At least for now, she was tired and would be resting for a long time. The scene changed and I was now bringing my new dog secretly down the back stairs (metal, like a fire escape, but not like a ladder) to go to the bathroom out back by the dumpsters. I found an old chain and a bike lock and made a leash out of it. I also found a small contraption that looked like a shower head from an old motel. At the bottom of the stairs on our way back up an old janitor stopped us and asked about the dog and the chain. He claimed that the chain was his and of course that I was not supposed to have that dog. He asked for the shower head contraption. It was supposed to tell the history of what it belonged to... in this case, the dog. I was scared that it would show that the dog belonged in the fountain, doomed to struggle all of her life. But instead, as he opened the top, by turning it half a turn to the right, it just let out a shot of air, no history. I was free to go and take the dog with me... though I did give back the old chain and bicycle lock to the janitor.

As I was painting just now, I was overwhelmed by the emotion that I had seeing this poor pit bull swimming upstream. God gently whispered that He too cared about the mistreatment of the pitties around the US. Pit bulls and their mistreatment is a subject near and dear to my heart, because my baby, my precious 4 year old dog, is a pit bull. He is brindled and beautiful. It breaks my heart that pit bulls around the country are being killed because of breed legislation. Others are being fought, others are just misunderstood and feared. The dream was obviously about the struggle that pit bulls face, but what about the rest of the dream?
Well... the coy also swimming upstream speak to me of my other friend Barbara. She has coy fish that will let you pet them (well, they let her pet them). She is dealing with an "upstream" battle now, and though I'm no real help, I can provide a small rest.
The part with Olivia in the elevator is dealing with her wanting to get to a place of redemption. 5 is the number of grace, redemption, provision, and the like. We tried and tried to get there in the elevator. She even took time to go to the bank while waiting. But in the end we had to climb stairs. The easy way was put on pedestals... but it didn't work for us. As we charted our course in the grand hall we saw a guard with an angel. I had to point this out, it wasn't obvious to Olivia... but it was comforting, and it was inspiring. It sent us on our way. Now why she wasn't with me on the stairs I think is just a break in the story of the dream. I didn't need to dream about Olivia anymore because MY part with her was done... Now I was on my own stair climbing journey. My dad being with me, was just a picture of God with me, helping me to help my friend, and the pit bulls.
The old chain and the back stairs to the dumpster were symbolic of me just using trash to care for the pitties. I don't "DO" anything. I just post about them on facebook, and say nice things about them to people. There is no real sacrifice on my part. The fact that no history showed up from the "shower head contraption" speaks of a clean slate. God's perfect plan for these dogs is to not have a stereotype attached, no prejudices. I'm left with the question, now what? What do I do with that?
Well... at 12:00 I'm heading over to play a game with Barbara and her daughters.
My husband just yesterday asked which charities I would like to give to. I have never given anything substantial to a non-Christian charity, but I think this year I will be helping the pitties in a bigger way.
As for Olivia, I'm not sure I need to do anything. I'll have to talk to her and see how it's going. ;-)

Dream Art

Eureka! I've hit the mother-load.
After my long silence I did some praying, and was a bit overwhelmed with the response.
I knew God was doing something, but I wasn't sure what.
I had promised to write down my dreams (as you can see from the last post), at least in my own journal, if not on here. Well, I didn't. I'd wake up after a night full of dreams and say, "those were silly, obviously just about a TV show, or about some random thing I saw yesterday", so I would dismiss them as unworthy of being written down. Then I had a dream one morning that I fully intended to write down, but the minute my head left the pillow, it was gone. This happened for a few days and then they disappeared completely for a couple days.
I'm no dummy, I knew it was God's way of saying, "who says YOU get to pick which ones are worth writing down? Didn't you ask for dreams, and I gave them to you?" That night I had my husband pray with me for me my dreams to return, and I promised I would write them down... again. This time I kept my promise, and so did God. I had four dreams that night, and I've had four every night since.
I have written to you before about the importance of three in one night.
Well, here I am having four each night, and thinking, "OK, what's THAT about?" So I asked.
It's about creative abundance. The number 4 (biblically speaking)is about God's creation.
Four elements: earth, air, fire, and water.
Four directions: north, south, east, and west.
Four divisions of a day: morning, noon, evening, and night.
Four seasons: spring, summer, autumn, and winter.
(There are lots of other 4's, but you get the picture)
Me having four dreams each night just showed me that God gives us over and above what we ask for, and that creativity is meant to play a role with my dreams.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned on here before my thought of doing paintings about my dreams. It has always felt overwhelming to me. Dreams are so BIG visually, and seem impossible to capture. I know I can't make paintings of exactly what I see at night, but it occurred to me after much thought, that the message of the dream is what's important, so If I can capture that, then yes I can paint my dreams. The idea of painting my dreams has been glaring me in the face all week with the mass amounts of dreams I've been having.
God knows that I do not work well without a little pressure of a deadline, so on Wednesday when I went to pick up my art from our Swell Sister group art show, I asked about the owner's offer to have a show of my own some time in 2012.
I am happy to report that I now have the deadline of a show looming in my future... in August 2012. I will be creating (hopefully) a whole show's worth of dream paintings. Of course I'll keep you posted on which dreams I paint and how that's going.
I will, most likely, start with all new dreams, as they are in abundance these days. But if by chance I have a dry spell, I will look back over old dreams too.
Just in case you have any favorites from the blog, let me know, and I'll see if a painting pops into my head. :-)

Conviction

Once again, I'm writing with an apology to myself and others that it has been SO long since my last post.
Once again, I have let my dreams go unwritten,and neglected.
In my bible study this morning (along with two other incidences this week) I have been reminded that gifts left idle are not honoring God in any way.
A few weeks ago I began reading a book about "seeing" into the Spiritual realm. I haven't gotten very far, because I haven't taken it very seriously. I was very excited about the book at first, and then when I didn't do the daily "exercises" the first two days (due to not having the right atmosphere for the exercises at that exact moment), I quit. I haven't picked up the book but once since.
As you know, I have always had dreams (some with significant meaning, some with out), but I got a little jealous of those who can see spiritual things in plain day, and I wanted that gift as well. (It's no sin to desire greater gifts BTW, but often we have what we have because we are not ready for more.)
I have a walking partner whom I've been telling all of this to, and she confided in me that she would not want to ask for such a gift as being able to see the spiritual realm, due to the possible "freaky" factor. Funny thing is, since we had that conversation and I desired such a gift and she adamantly did not, she has had instances of seeing, and I have not. I have however, had more dreams in the past few weeks than I have had in the few months prior.
Each day I wake up (and sometimes at multiple times during the night) with a very interesting and vivid dream. Yet I have not written ANY down. Yesterday, on our walk, we re-hashed the "seeing" conversation, and she suggested keeping my dream journal and a small light by my bed (instead of in the bathroom where I have it now). Just so I don't have an excuse. I didn't do it last night. I had three dreams last night. Only one that I now partially remember, and I did not write any down. I chose to sleep instead. (I slept in... til 8:00.)
My bible study this morning was based on 2 Timothy 1:6-7. It clearly said to me, "The gift that you are letting be idle, stir it up. You have the power and the sound mind to use it. Quit asking for more when you're not using what I've given you." Conviction. Big time.

I can't guarantee that I will write all my dreams on this blog like I once had in mind to do. But I will put my journal by my bed, and I will write the ones that God tells me to share here on the blog.

I'm a Good Mom

After numerous days of bad dreams, I finally had some good ones.

The only bad one you haven't heard about since my last post was me with a bunch of teen girls (friends of my daughter), having a sleep over in which 4 or 5 guys were trying to sneak in through the windows and kill us. No fun!

So last night when I had three dreams all about the same pleasant topic, I was greatly relieved.
In the first dream, which I don't remember much, my mom's mom, "Nanny", was telling me I was a good mom. In the last dream I had, which I don't remember much either, my dad's mom, "Grandma", was telling me I was a good mom.
In the middle dream, which I remember quite well, an older Hispanic lady was telling me that my husband and I were doing a good job at parenting.
You may recall that three dreams in one night all with the same "message" means that it's a definite. Like if you had three dreams that your house was on fire, in the same night... I'd get some insurance, or go to counseling if you feel the "fire" is symbolic.

The second dream in it's entirety was as follows:
My family and I were coming into a large hotel room and having all kinds of family fun frolicking on the bed wrestling, telling stories, and getting back rubs. At some point an older Hispanic lady came in. I walked around the place shutting doors and windows and getting ready for bed. We all slept on the same bed... even the older lady. Then as we woke up, we sat on the bed and talked. I looked around the room only to find that we were in a huge open room with tons of beds lined up side to side, like you'd imagine an orphanage or war hospital. (No bunk beds). One by one people started waking up from their beds and grabbing their bags and leaving. I immediately had two thoughts; one was "oh no, our talking must have disturbed them... I didn't know they were there", and the second thought was a revelation about what kind of place this was. It was for people who worked in the city and could not commute home each night, so they stayed in this old Laundromat that had been turned into a shelter. The people didn't use the small bathroom that was at the shelter because there was only one and they could get ready (even leaving with messy hair in yesterday's clothes) at work. We had somehow stayed there without that being our story. As people were leaving, a lady cried out in a panic. Her stuff had been moved and her friend was not in her usual bed. It turned out that her friend was the older lady that had slept with us. Our lady ran over to the panicked lady and calmed her down, handing her her stuff and saying that she had been there the whole time etc.
I went over to make sure things were OK, and that is when the older Hispanic lady gave me a hug and whispered in my ear that my husband and I were doing a good job at parenting. I was very happy, and a peace flooded my heart.

Mice in the Kitchen, Forgotten Son, and Stuck Car.

It's been a while, I know.
My excuse (though not a good one) is that it's summer, and I have been sleeping in. I wake up so late that I don't feel like I have any time to spend typing.

For the past two nights, however, my dreams have been bad and pointed, so I thought I'd take a minute to write them down since I woke up a little early this morning.

Sunday night I had a dream that there were mice in my grandmother's kitchen. As you may remember I consider my grandmother the source of my family's spiritual legacy. When I dream of her house it is always a mansion, and typically very full. Sunday night's dream was no exception. The house was open and grand, with room for hundreds of people. I had been wandering around the first floor of the house, and came into the kitchen. There I found my dog nosing at the cabinets. I looked closer and he was killing a mouse. The mouse had on clothes (like Stuart Little). As I stood there, another mouse appeared and then another. All were dressed, but unwelcome just the same. I killed a few, and my husband killed a few. We were squishing them, halving them... whatever we could do to kill them.
As you know, the kitchen is the heart of the home, and mice are typically considered pests. I have been praying for my grandmother ever since as she has battled cancer and other ailments in the past, and her health is not the greatest even now. I can't think of any other meaning than disease in her "heart", (whether it be literal, or something like worry).

Last night's dreams were disturbing for other reasons.
In the first, I left my son alone in a crowded place, and in the second I could not get to my car.

The first dream began with my son and I walking through a flea market type environment. He was picking up all kinds of things that he wanted... mostly sweet treats, like popsicles. I showed him an area of gallons of ice cream and we talked about getting one even though we are both on a diet. (The diet was talked about repeatedly in the dream.) After we had gotten all the things he wanted I told him I would meet him back at the car and we would drive "home". I went out a back way through a warehouse guided by a worker who was hitting on me. I had four pen caps in my hand and then my back pocket. (Don't know what that was about.) When I got to the car I forgot to wait for my son. I instead drove all the way to the hotel/cabin, where my husband and daughter were already there and asleep. I went to bed, and fell asleep too. When I rolled over a little while later it dawned on me that I had forgotten my son. I panicked, and stumbled to the car still half asleep. I thought about the fact that I was too sleepy to drive. Then I thought about my phone battery. I looked down to see multiple missed calls from my son and even a very sad picture he had taken of himself. I also saw that my battery was in the red zone. I panicked more. Oh no! How am I going to get a hold of him? How is he going to call me? I ran back into the cabin to get my husband's phone, all the while thinking "what if my son's battery is almost dead?" I woke myself up with all the panic.

I went back to sleep after a quick pee brake. The next dream was better, but still bad.
I was with my two best friends from high school; we had been at some event and were now walking back to my car. We got to the parking garage and could not find my car. Then we found a hole in the back of the car garage down to another level of cars. I could see my car on the lower level. The cars were crammed together like sardines with absolutely no room to drive them out. There wasn't even a ramp to get them out of the hole. I jumped down the hole onto the hood of another car and walked around on car hoods to see if I could figure out something. Realizing that this was a towing company I deducted that the cars had been lowered down with a crane. So my friends and I went to find the owner. I found a worker sitting in a shack out in a dusty yard, feet up, talking on the phone. I asked if he could help me. He was very rude and denied me help. He mentioned the owner, pointed him out, and said he was busy too. No one would be able to help us. It was extremely frustrating. The dream ended in frustration after minutes of trying to get the owner's attention.

Meanings? Well, I think that the diet talk and the fact that all of our purchases were food items not on our diet, speaks to what the dream with my son was about. I have nearly reached my goal weight and my days of dieting will soon be over... or so I hope. (Even the worker hitting on me speaks of where I'm at in my weight.) My son is just now starting his weight loss journey (this time around). I think that the dream is reminding me not to leave him behind. Not to go back and "sleep" with my skinny daughter and husband. The world offers many temptations that I can't just say, "that's not on our diet, but just this once we could get it"; (which are the kinds of things I was saying in the dream).

Personal cars in dreams typically speak about your personal life. I don't particularly like the idea of my life stuck underground without having the ways and means of getting it out myself. I do like that my best friends are with me the whole time. I really don't have other thoughts about the meaning of that dream.

Floating and Peeing

OK, so I had a very strange but cool dream last night.
There was more to it, but this is the only part I remember.

I was sitting on the potty, peeing, when I started to float upwards. I pulled myself back down to the toilet seat because I was not done peeing. As soon as I let go of the seat, I started floating again... still peeing.
At that point I thought about what was happening, and realized how cool it was that I was floating, so I went with it. (Mind you, this entire dream is feeling VERY realistic, and at this point, I think it's really happening, because the setting is exactly my house. It's as if I got up in the middle of the night to pee... which I do often.)
I floated to the ceiling and was bending forward so as not to hit the ceiling. I was still "seated" but rolled forward. I floated into the bedroom (still peeing) and woke up my husband. "Look, look, I'm flying!" I said. (All the while, peeing on the floor, the bed, everything.) He woke up and looked up at me. He wasn't impressed; he was more concerned that I was peeing on the bed. So I floated back to the bathroom. It was at this point, before I actually made it to the toilet, that I realized I was dreaming and woke up to roll over.

As gross as the continual pee thing was, I had a blast floating around my room. It felt so real, and I am thankful that I got to experience that.

As for meaning. I would almost surely conclude that it has to do with my weight struggle. I am feeling good about my progress, but I am still majorly struggling with the discipline of it all. I am getting rid of a lot of wrong thinking, and other stuff that I'd equate with piss. :-) However, even though I'm floating (which is awesome), my husband is not impressed; he's more concerned with the "piss" that is coming out, which is unpleasant.

Facing a Storm, Dad's Sand Mound, and Complicated Water Works.

Three dreams in fairly rapid succession last night... and you know what that means. (Three dreams in a row... IF they go together, are dreams with an unchangeable message.)

My first dream was on a boat. I was with my family. The boat had an inside and an outside. I was down inside the boat and asked my son if he wanted to go up to the deck. I knew when I asked (and so did he) that we would not be able to go back inside if we chose to stay outside. On the deck my parents were dealing with boat type stuff and very quickly a storm rose up. The storm was massive. We all had on rain ponchos and were basically holding on for dear life. One wave came up and over the side of the boat, washing the floor of the deck. Then another much larger wave started to form on the opposite side of the boat (the side to my left, which was actually starboard, because I was facing back). The wave looked like it was three stories high and paused for a moment before it crashed over us. I was so frightened of it, but my mom wasn't. Then as it hit it fell with the force of tap water. We were fine. I looked at my mom and she gave me a very knowing look. That was the end of dream #1.

Dream #2 was on the shore. My parents and my kids and I were laying on a beach. It was like we had been washed ashore, but it was pleasant. All I could see of the scene was our legs and sometimes arms and the sand they were on with the bubbles from the tide that was rolling in and out. It was very peaceful. We talked awhile and then sat up. My view was not of the ocean. The camera of my dream was as if I was in the water and focused in on my dad's legs and arms as he built up a mound of sand to "protect" his spot from water coming in. The mound he had made was only about 16" wide and high, and the water just went around it, making it completely obsolete.

Now the tricky part is that I don't remember if the conversation that I remember goes to dream #2 or dream #3. It seems to fit better in #3, but I almost want to put it in with #2. So I'll stick it in the middle:
The conversation was about my dad having a job overseas. I think the area they were talking about was in Northern Europe. But the words that were being said sounded like they didn't want him there, so they probably wouldn't move after all.

In dream #3 we were visiting the Gores. It was my family and my parents and we were walking down a street in Northern Europe. The Gores lived there and I guess it was where my dad's possible job was... but as we know from the conversation mentioned above... he wasn't going to take the position. Jennifer Gore (My mom's BF) was still alive and walking with us. Monnie Gore and my dad were talking and the kids (all the correct age for 2011) were walking along too. The shops had things like wooden dolls and coo-coo-clocks. The streets were cobblestone and there was a quaint little bridge that reminded me of my favorite visit to Germany. We went to the Gores' house which was not like any I have dreamt of before, other than it being on a hill. It was on a crowded street where the houses share an outside wall. Inside people were talking about getting hungry and where we would go to eat. I guess my son must have had some say, because Taco Bell was the decision. Everyone got up to go walk to the Taco Bell, which I guess was down the street a couple blocks. I had to go to the bathroom and wash my hands. I went in the bathroom but left the door open (or maybe there was no door). It was small and in the front of the master bedroom. Standing at the sink which was wedged in a corner, I could see into the living room and down to the kitchen. (There was brownish/bronze old shag carpet in the living room.) The sink was ill fitted into the space on the small Formica counter top. I couldn't get the water to come on. The nob that seemed to be the way to turn it on just leaked a little at the base when I messed with it. I tried one more thing, then looked out to the living room for help. Everyone else had left except my mom and Jennifer who were waiting on me. Jennifer came over to help. She grabbed two different chords; one looked like an old kitchen sink pull-out nozzle, (You know the ones from the 70's with the black head and little squeeze trigger, and a silver ring right next to the head, and near the hose, which was also silvery.) and the other chord was more like a tasseled rope that you'd pull for service at an old timely hotel. The tasseled one came from under the sink and the first was just where you'd expect it to be... but the water came out of a whole other faucet that looked normal for a bathroom.
That was the end the 3rd dream.

So the question is... is there a theme? Do they fit together? or not? and either way, what are they saying?

The first dream reminded me a lot of one I had not long ago where the line of church people were going to "camp" with all their stuff, and I asked my son if he wanted to go home instead, and he said "Yes", knowing, that that was a final decision. In this dream the "final decision" was to be protected under the deck, or out in the storm. We chose the storm. And fortunately it turned out that the storm didn't hurt us. I really liked that dream. I love getting a message that whatever is coming, isn't going to hurt me. It's the same message I got a while back in my dream about the Bay area cracking off into the ocean, but that we would be fine.

The second dream was interesting to me because of its perspective. I never saw faces, not even chests. I was looking at my dad from a place on the beach that I was not sitting. It was a third person... very zoomed lens kind of dream. (Most of the time when I have third person dreams I can see the whole scene, so this was odd. It was also odd to have my dad build something so pitiful and think it may work.

The third dream, which was the "fullest" of the three (though not as meaningful as the first to me), was one of just a few over my life where I have dreamt of a deceased person being alive in the present. Jennifer died a few years ago.
I'm not sure if my dad's job predicament had any meaning in the dream. My parents have always talked about going back over seas if Dad could get a pastoral position in a church in Italy. I'm not sure how often he looks into that possibility, but I know he has a few times.
The Gores lived near us when we lived in Italy, so them being in that part of the world makes sense (even though they live in Colorado now).
The state of the house... having shared walls, having an old shag carpet, and the sink with the retro nozzle and Formica counter top, were all things that didn't speak well of the situation of the house. My mom has mentioned on occasion how much Jennifer held that family together, and now that she is gone it's just not the same. I see that played out with her being the one to help me, and even how she had to pull on two things to make the water work correctly.

Anyway, I'll have to think further about any theme. Right now, I kind of see them as separate. Though the first and second could be related, and the second and third (with regards to my father's job and sand mound) could be related.

Swimming with Little Audrey

Last night's dream came out of left field.
In a couple of weeks we are going to Hawaii. My parents are going to meet my family there, and they are bringing with them their "god-daughter", Audrey Gore. My mom and Audrey's mom were best friends. Audrey's mom died a few years ago and her dad remarried without complete approval of the kids. Things have been awkward ever since.
Anyway, Audrey is now graduating from college, and for her present my parents offered to bring her to Hawaii with us. So I will be seeing her soon. (Last time I saw her was at Thanksgiving, which was the first time in years.) However, I have not been actively thinking of Audrey at all, and that is why the dream caught me off guard.
I have never dreamt specifically about Audrey. I have dreamt about her "family", especially back when her mother was alive. I've dreamt of their house often in the past too, but never Audrey specifically. I know this dream was to prepare me for Hawaii in some way, now I just have to figure it out. I thought the back-story would best be told before we got into the dream, so there you have it.

In the dream I was in a very large and deep pool holding baby (1 1/2- 2 yrs old) Audrey near the edge. She had her arms around my neck and I was holding the edge with one hand and cradling her with the other. My parents were swimming with us. The pool was fairly crowded, but not overly so. It was Olympic sized, and didn't have a shallow end. Concrete was all around. Because of the depth and the crowd I talked to my parents about taking Audrey someplace else. I got out and we walked outside to a place I had been before. It was a hot tub that's been in my dreams before... not too long ago. I got in with Audrey. There were college age(the age that Audrey is in real life) boys in the hot tub. While we were in the hot tub (which had two levels; we were in the lower one), I noticed the scenery. It was very different from what had been around the hot tub in my previous dream. It was like a swamp/lake. I've dreamt of that place before too. (In the previous dream I think there were alligators and I was swimming for my life.) Anyway, as I looked back the hot tub even had moss and algae growing on the edges. It all looked very old and run down. At this point I thought that the area was an old camp ground I had visited in my youth and that things had just gotten over grown. I picked up Audrey and we made our way up and out of the hot tub. (As we did, I worried about the boys noticing that I hadn't shaved. haha.) One mentioned to another that I was old when I was going up the steps. I turned and said, "I'm only 35!"
I looked down at the swamp/lake below (the hot tub was up on a cliff... but only like 20 feet high). There was an old mock pirate ship that I remembered from my "camp days". It was all covered with algae and moss and yuck, but there were still boys playing on it, so we went down to it. (I don't know how... that part kind of skipped.) We walked around on the ship briefly then decided to go back up. The side of the cliff had tree roots gnarling in and out of it and some trunks that started at the base were half buried in the side too. Audrey held on around my neck as I pulled myself up the side of the cliff on a rope/vine that was used for this purpose. Half way up, I noted that I had not taken the easy way, and that only 10 feet to my right there was a much better way. We would go down and try that way instead. Then I woke up.

When Audrey was little we all lived in Italy. Every now and again we would go to indoor water parks (usually in Austria). I can remember at least once going to one with Audrey and her family. It was the one time I attempted a flip off a high dive. I knocked the wind out of myself and couldn't breath even when I reached the surface of the water. It was so scary. The indoor section of the dream reminded me of that pool though... no shallow end, big, somewhat crowded with strangers, and scary.
Swimming in dreams is typically a refreshing or cleansing thing. However, noting the swampiness of our setting outside, I'm not sure this "cleansing" went as planned.
The fact that Audrey was represented as a baby just breaks my heart. She is the youngest of her siblings, and has no doubt had the hardest time of any of them with her mother's death and father's remarriage. She is worried about what the rest of her life is going to look like with college over and not feeling welcome to stay at her old house. It's a very deep pool indeed to be in.
The outdoor part of the dream seems like a lot of "trying" on my part, without any real success. A hot tub full of boys her age could be an attempt to lose her sorrow by being preoccupied with boys, but being a baby shows maybe she's not quite ready for that. (Maybe)
Then I take her down to a childhood play structure (the pirate ship) but it's all gross too. There's corrosion on both the hot tub and the pirate ship. So keeping her in a "child" state is not the answer either.
Then there's the mystery of going up out of that situation the hard way... realizing there is an easier way, but waking up before I took the easy way... all the while, Audrey still as a baby around my neck.

Well... I pray that our time in Hawaii would be healing, growing, and refreshing. I hope is some way, I'm able to help, and not make things worse. Dreams are typically warnings when they show bad things, so I consider myself warned to not make "cleansing plans" for Audrey. I'll just follow God's lead, not my own ideas.

"JJ's RV Jet", and "BFs Visit"

Two quite interesting dreams last night, very unlike any I've had for a while.

The first started on a private jet owned be my nephew in-law (highly unlikely). The jet was gutted and the inside looked like an RV. My nephew (JJ) was piloting and I was in back with my niece and her four girls, and 5 puppies. (Her dog had puppies back in January, and the last one was given away less than a month ago, so that's fresh in my mind.) We landed in a field that was partially dirt, partially grass, and looked like a camping area. There was another family nearby at a group of picnic tables. I played with the girls and the puppies for a while and then moved away from the jet towards the picnic table. My niece and her husband were dancing by a table and singing to some country music (again, highly unlikely) as if they were at a hoedown. I was very happy to see them so happy, but then I thought about the puppies. They were over near the jet unsupervised. I walked over there and some had wondered near the street and some were playing right where we left them. My dog Knuckles was there with them. He was done 'puppy-sitting'. We gathered up the puppies and I counted them as we boarded. Knuckles jumped up to sit in the co-pilot seat, and I can't remember for sure, but I think I got up to pilot this time.
The scene changed and we were at a stadium. We were walking up to our seats and about to watch a movie. I think it was "The Rescuers", (with the mice and the orphan 'Penny'.) All four girls, my niece, and JJ were sitting down and I was carrying popcorn etc. to the seats. (Maybe this is because I have been talking about taking them to a movie lately.)


In the next dream I was back with my two BFs from high school, Vanessa and Michelle. (In real life I just returned from a visit with them at Michelle's parents house in Maryland.) We were arriving at Michelle's parent's house again, even though in the dream it looked a little different. It resembled a doll house (which it kinda does in real life too). I had to go to the bathroom but each bathroom I went in had flushing problems, noted by paper still in the bowl, which I tried to flush with no luck. So I didn't want to add to the problem.
Everyone was getting ready to go out to eat, so I just decided I would go to the restroom at the restaurant. Vanessa, and I walked down to a ballroom that was attached to the hotel that we were now in somehow. and Michelle and her mom went on to see if our reservations at the restaurant were ready.
The ball room was set up with long banquet tables at one side and a huge dance floor in the middle. We went ahead and took a seat at a table with two other older men. Food started coming out and since we were hungry we started to eat. After a course or two, Michelle and her mother came in to get us to go to the restaurant. We said we would rather stay there since we had already started and also wouldn't have to walk any further. After a little protesting they stayed. Michelle had on a trench coat over a pink sequined gown that had a huge slit up the front. Vanessa was wearing purple, and I'm not sure what I was wearing as the dream was seen in first person. All three of us danced like little girls playing "princess" across the dance floor holding hands with Michelle in a circle. And that was all.

As for meaning...
Modes of transportation (as we've talked about before) symbolize life direction and circles of influence. For instance, bicycles are about the individual who's riding them and no one else. Family cars (especially with family in them) are about the driver's influence over their family circle. Buses deal with bigger sphere's of influence, trains and planes bigger still. It's important to note if you are a passenger or the driver.
In my first dream JJ was driving a private jet. A private jet, though small in influence is still different than a car. It's flying, not driving. The significance of that could be about soaring over obstacles, or being "above" in some way. It's a good thing though. The dancing that they were doing was good too, but both good things (jet and country music) were very unlike my niece and nephew. Perhaps it's saying something about them acting out of character in a good way soon. I don't know, but I was happy to see that I'm along for the ride.

My second dream, having to go to the bathroom (a typical theme for me) but not being able to because of "obstacles", could speak about not being able to say all that I wanted to say to my friend Michelle while we were there. We did talk about everything, but sometimes I couldn't think of words that would convey all I wanted to say. The "obstacle" present was a difference in our walks of faith. The day that Michelle left and it was just Vanessa and I for an evening we had a good talk and prayer about our individual (and joint) walks of faith. I imagine that is why Vanessa and I went to the ballroom and Michelle and her mom went to the restaurant in the dream. The good news is that Michelle later joined us in the ballroom and we danced like little girls. The trench coat she was wearing still signifies hiding in some way... Hiding a revealing but beautiful pink sequined gown. (As teens, pink was Michelle's favorite color.)

It's Been So Long

It's been so long since I posted, and not for lack of dreams.
I went on vacation... and of course had spectacularly strange dreams then, and I've been home and on the hCG diet for the past week, which also produces some mighty strange dreams.

Do most of you have crazy dreams while in a foreign bed? Isn't that weird? I wonder why it is that our body produces "off" dreams in a strange place.

My most memorable of the dreams I had on vacation was one of Carrie and I sitting out on a side patio of "my house". The yard was huge and bordered by a ditch. Two thugs walked into my yard and were going to pass through. I suggested they cross at the border near the ditch, but they insisted on coming through the side patio. Really they were coming to hurt us or rob us or some such nonsense. As they approached, Carrie and I became a fighting force. We brutally beat the crap out of both of them. I slammed one guy's face onto a planter box, and just wailed on him non-stop. She held him down breifly then turned and beat up the other guy.

That was the extent of the dream. It was vivid and very "real".
I take it as "Don't mess with Carrie and I as a team." haha

The hCG induced dreams of this past week have included one where my wall in the dining room had a leak and water was puddling on the floor. A wet spot could be seen at the base of the wall, going up about a foot.
Another was about bugs on my blue living room carpet. A yellow scorpion about the size of my thumb was the first bug I saw, then tons more... centipedes, beetles, earwigs... I lifted the carpet to shake them off, and at least 100 poured off. ugg!!!
I had another about something weird in my house that I can't remember now.
I'm taking these as, "Hey, what's this weird hormone in my 'house'?"

Last night I watched "Exit through The Gift Shop", a documentary about street art and a particular dude who named himself "Mr. Brainwash". It was interesting and not at all what I was expecting.
We had a discussion after watching it where we talked about what we could do if we had an entourage of people creating our ideas for us with an unlimited money supply.
This morning I woke up with so many art ideas. The biggest of which was about creating digital art of each of my dreams. I could give you a visual of all these dreams that I write about.
My mind was swirling with with snap shots I would take from each dream. Every dream I thought of I could think of the one moment that I would like to capture from it. That was surprising to me; one imagine from each dream rose up. Does that mean that's the "main idea" of each dream? Or simply that it was the most vivid part? Why one thing? Am I supposed to do something with this?
Then I thought of my new Ipad that arrives in a couple weeks, and all the art apps that I'll have for creating with. Perhaps creating a few dream images won't be so hard. Perhaps.
You'll be the first to know if this idea becomes a reality. :-)

Parking Lot Meeting

In last night's dream I was walking from a large building to my car in a huge parking lot like at an arena. I had just been at some sort of conference that I some-what enjoyed. I agreed with some of what was said but not everything. (I think this has to do with what was mentioned on SWRC radio's show yesterday about an upcoming conference called "The Future Conference" somewhere in an M state... can't remember which. Tom Horn was on the program yesterday and though he was interesting, I had a hard time with some of stuff he talked about.)
So as I was walking to my car, I was thinking through all that had been said.
I got a few steps from my car and saw 6 or 7 Jehovah's Witnesses walking to their car. They were talking about eschatology and I caught the sentence, "Well, we have 7 more years." I spoke out, "You mean 4." That was an open invitation for them to start talking to me about their Watchtower pamphlets. They started handing me the little booklets and the thicker one that says, "What The Bible Really Says". I told them I already had all of their stuff. (I've taken a copy from any of them that offer it to me. I read it once, and now I throw them away.)
Well, then they asked if they could pray with me. "Sure," I said. We sat in a circle on a tuft of grass in a section of the parking lot. It was me, then to my left, a girl, then a teen boy, then a woman, and another woman, and a man, then another woman or two, back to me. The teen boy started the prayer... I thought about how many people had to pray before I got a turn. But as he started his prayer he said, "Thank you God for all these sexabilities..." The word that should have fit was "possibilities", but because he said it all wrong my mind picked up on it being a dream, and I woke up.

I haven't had any interactions with JWs recently, so who knows where that came from, but the rest seems pretty straight forward. Well, other than the word "sexabilities".

BFF in Class, and Katie Perry Land

I enjoyed last night's dream. It was one of those where you feel like you're really with the person, and then it turned into one of those that was like Disneyland. So all in all a great sleep.

The beginning was in a class room setting... this time with tables, not desks. I was near the front of the room and to the right. I had to change seats for some reason. As the class was filing in and the (female) teacher was talking about something, I got up and went to a room across our room to the left. I didn't walk through a hall, just through a door into the next classroom. In there was my very best friend from elementary and high-school, Vanessa. (I will be visiting her in just a couple of weeks, so she has been on my mind.) She had a small file box (note card size) in her hand and was thumbing through it. I walked over to her near the far left back of the room by a counter top. She presented the purple file box. After she opened it, she began reading off a little questionnaire/game that she had made with Trivia questions about her brother Nathan. Then she showed me other sections that included a play list of all our favorite songs from back in the day, and images from our past, movies, etc. It was an amazing compilation she had put together. I even commented that I had made a play list that wasn't half as good. She had dug deep into "b-sides" so-to-speak, not just taken the obvious songs. I was very happy to be able to reminisce with her. Then the teacher for her class came in and noticed me in that back. She gave me a bad look because I wasn't supposed to be in there, so I walked back across the room and into my class.

The dream changed and I was on a ride at an amusement park. The ride was just like the old ride at Disney land called "Rocket Rods". (The one that took over the monorail track back in the 90's.) Instead of being rockets the ride was convertible cars that looked like rounded cartoon 50's cars. They were covered with rainbow, star, cloud, and candy stickers. The car ahead of me was baby blue and held two middle aged men who were enjoying the ride very much. The music that played was Katie Perry's "Firework". (I heard the song yesterday when I was out with my niece. It was playing in a pale lemon yellow convertible that was driving in front of us.) The park around the ride looked like candy land. (Very Katie Perry.)

It was a very fun dream, despite the bad looks from the teacher.
I'm wondering if I should make a little file box of memories for my visit with Vanessa... or perhaps she will. :-)

Missing Quiz

a night full of dreams last night... all fairly random.
I don't remember any of the first ones hardly at all... other than one dealt with children... but I do remember the last one...

I was taking a quiz with a bunch of other people all sitting in small elementary school desks. The quiz was about Islam. (We have been doing this on Wednesday night church during a series about the differences and similarities of Islam and Christianity.) In the dream the quiz was much more elaborate, like a term paper, and I could not find my paper for that day. I kept flipping through my other papers from previous days, but could not find the one for that session. My pastor's oldest son was sitting beside me. I got up to look in another room. We were in a house with shag carpet. There was wood paneling on the walls and just a very 70's vibe all around. When I came back in the testing room my dad was on the big screen larger than life as a sort of background to the other imagery that was going across the screen. ...and I was naked. I told Tyler, "that's my dad," as I pointed to his image on the screen. I pointed like 3 or 4 times because he didn't seem to see.
That was the extent of that dream.

Again with the nakedness.... again with the lack of preparedness... geez... what am I not getting?

A Short Affair

I wish I could remember my other dreams from last night... I had three, but only remember one now. The first two were mild in nature and OK for sharing.
The last one (the one I remember) is not appropriate at all, but I will do my best to share it.

It started in a church service. (I watched a little church TV yesterday while over at my friend's house, who is stuck in bed with an illness. The service in my dream was way more like the church on TV than any church I have ever been to in person.) The choir wore royal blue robes and the congregation was full of dressed up people. I sat on the 3rd row on the right hand side close to the middle aisle. Half way through the service there was a break. People got up to use the restroom, or get a doughnut, or whatever. I stayed seated.
When the break was over only half of the people came back. The speaker in the front made mention of it, and I thought to myself, "oh, the people will be back soon, they are just taking their time." There were many that did come back, but not all. A pastor that I know came and sat down beside me. I noticed that I was wearing a robe as well, and that I was naked underneath. The robe had opened in the front at my leg, and my upper thigh was exposed. The pastor beside me (on my left) reached over and "touched" me. I was shocked. I moved the robe to cover myself, but shortly after that he took my hand and put it on his "lap". "Oh my God," I barely whispered as I felt how huge he was.
The scene changed and we were in my bedroom. There was no sensation of anything sexual, but we were having sex. All I thought of was how big he was. My kids came to the door and I quickly got up and rushed to see what they wanted. I put the pastor over my shoulder (lack a sack) and played it off as if he was my husband. As I talked to the kids, they never looked at his face. Then right as we were done talking my daughter noticed who it was. She questioned me, and very plainly I said, "We are just having a short affair, it will be over very soon," and I rushed back to the bed eagerly.

Well... it's yet another dream about exposure, and about the church. I have had dreams this week of dealing with children's ministry, teen girl's ministry, church 'building' ministry, and now intimacy with pastoral ministries.
The fact that there was no sexual sensation in the dream assures me that it wasn't really about sex. The size of things I think is symbolic of power and influence, and that was the luring point.
It would be nice to think that my constant exposure would lead to a place of influence, but positions of influence are tricky; there is a lot of war-fare involved in leadership.

... that's all I have today.

More Exposure and Lack of Control

The night before last I had a dream about taking both dogs to "Camp Bow-wow" while I'm gone on vacation next month. That was simply pushing me to get a place lined up for them to stay.

Last night's wasn't so simple:
I had two dreams (that I remember), one in which I was with a group of girls at a mansion having a retreat of sorts (the girls were young, like teens and twenties,) and I had keys in my hand walking topless down the hall where there were a handful of bell boys and male desk clerks.
I was minding my own business, but was being suspected of something. I don't remember if it had to do with the keys, or being topless, or what, but the men (also in their twenties) were whispering about me, and one was following me to confront me. Towards the end of the dream he did confront me, but I shrugged it off and said I wasn't doing anything, just taking the keys to the room.

In the second dream I was with a group of older men (not elderly, just 40+) and we all had long aluminum tubes that we were making car frames out of. Each of us had our own and it was loopy. We had to straighten it, bend it, cut it... whatever to make it work. The aluminum caught fire easily just by banging the tip on a surface, and we were warned about that. I had very little control over the big long tube and mine caught on fire within a minute of me holding it. I asked for help to put it out, even from my dad, but they all just told me to blow on it. I tried to blow it out but it wouldn't; It even flared up at a few of my attempts.

The alarm rang, and I had to get up. :(

There is a very big theme this week of exposure, and incompetence.
I need to remember that dreams are generally warnings or your own doubts playing out, not necessarily a prediction of what is actually going to happen if you heed the warning.
With the girls on retreat I can wrap my head around being in a situation like that, but building cars with aluminum tubes with a bunch a men... I cannot.
Only because they were older than me, and that my dad was there, I have a feeling that they represent older men in church, building (metaphorically) church things that are mobile. I was trying to be one of them, but had no control.

I talked with my friend Carrie the other day, and the conversation led to "where I fit in at church". My son has stopped going to the kid's class. He is eleven, and it's just too "little kidish" for him now. I still help out in there, but it's become odd now that he's not in there. I had been doing stuff with the teenage girls, but that basically stopped at the end of last summer, and now the girls I know are about to graduate, so I don't really want to volunteer in there either. I haven't been a part of women's ministries in years, other than my own bible study I host at my home, which has nothing to do with my church.
So there it is, in black and white. I have assignments that I feel will be shared with the church once complete, and for now I will focus on those, but my dreams continue to hash out where I fit in ministry.

Showing Off and Staying

As is generally the case, once I write about one dream after a long pause, I'll get another the very next day. It reminds me of the verse about being faithful with little leading to being trusted with more.
For the past few months I have literally been blowing my dreams off. After the prayer I told you about yesterday the thought of getting back to what God has called me to do has resonated in my head. This dream journal... as silly as it may be to some of you, is something God called me to do. This is "practice" for me. Some times other people's dreams make a lot more sense to me than my own, but how can I expect to be able to help with interpretation if I'm not willing to practice on my own?

With out further adieu, and whether you want it or not, here's last night's dream.

It started in a church office that reminded me more of a school library office I had in another dream last year. I was there to see my friend Carrie, who worked there. (She really works at the front desk of a Chiropractor's office.) The Dr. she works for was there too, and he was handing her some papers. I was talking to her while she filed things away.
We got to a part of our conversation that was private, so I told her we'd finish talking after she was done working. Then I walked out of the office and into another area of the church. I saw a room with people setting up for an evening event. I walked in with my son. I had diamonds on my teeth like a grill.
We sat down across from Tyler (my pastor's oldest son). We started talking to him about church and the event about to happen, and then we talked a little about ourselves. He kept mentioning that he enjoyed the same things I was saying I enjoyed. At one point I had stated that I was more into the arts than I was sports (duh), but that I understood his family was the opposite. He corrected me and said that he liked art better too. (I doubt that is really the case... unless you count music.) I was surprised.
Shortly after that interchange my son asked if we could go. We got up and I went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and spit out all the diamonds. I looked at my teeth and the glue holding the diamonds had left a brownish film on my teeth. I showed another girl who was in the bathroom too and asked her what I could do about it. She didn't see what I was talking about. I took my fingernail and scraped off a brown chunk of glue.(yuck) "See?" I asked. At that she was gone and I scrapped more of my teeth, then put the diamonds back to see if keeping them in was easier than scraping the gunk off. I realized I looked a little silly with them on and was embarrassed that I had been wearing them the whole time, so I threw the diamonds away.
My son was waiting for me outside of the door and when I came out he said he didn't want to go back to talk to Tyler anymore because I might end up getting married. (haha) So we walked outside and there was a huge line of people that went on for blocks, all headed to camp. We were supposed to be going too. As we were about to join the group I had a desire to not go and I asked my son, "Do you wanna stay home?" He agreed and we went down the line against the flow aiming for our house. About a block away from our house (which was depicted as a glass walled house that resembled the house from "The Brady Bunch") we crossed over a cinder block wall. I noticed my dog being led by an old school mate of mine on the other side of the wall that we had just crossed. I called to her, "Tisha, pass me Knuckles". So my son and I got Knuckles along with his bed, food dish, and camper crate, then we headed back to our house. The line of people extended past our house even. As we approached our house, I knew Carrie was there, staying too. Then I woke up.

I understand that a diamond grill is most likely something about showing off, and I get the idea that God is telling me that showing off in church basically looks silly... Stop it. He put Tyler there as the main person because He knows I admire Tyler. (I have a thing for preacher's kids... had the same thing at our old church, Sun Grove, with that pastor's oldest son. Granted I'm ten years older and happily married... It's just more of "eye candy" and "thought candy". No I'm not lusting... They both just happen to be attractive, and I admire the walk with God that they seemed to keep in the years that I fell off the wagon. Being a preacher's kid myself, I have always felt a connection with both sons, even though our conversations have been very few and very brief.)
As for the rest of the dream, I know I need to talk to Carrie, and there's that, but what about the long line going to camp, and why were the dogs going?
Tisha... most likely isn't my old school mate Tisha at all, but my other friend Tisha whom I just talked to yesterday (or Monday). I was very grateful for our history of friendship; for all the similarities that we have and how I know, above any other person, she can understand a lot of what my struggles have been.
So here she is in the dream guiding my dog for me to this place that all these church people are going to.
The first thing that my mind goes to (not sayin' I'm right), is concentration camps. It is rumored that the camps present in the US today are reserved for a day when Christianity will be outlawed. My mind could be thinking about this possibility and my desire to fight against submitting to that fate. In the dream I walk boldly against the stream of people going to camp. My son agrees with me, and we get our beloved dog and go home to a glass house. The glass house clearly (no pun intended) symbolizes exposure. If I stay, I will not be in hiding in any way... even as I go to talk about private things with my friend Carrie. (Who, BTW, would stay in the face of danger too, I'm sure.)

Am I Prepared?

I really haven't dreamed much of interest lately... thus no new entries, but I thought I'd share last night's as it seemed very vivid and long.

It started in a room at church, not my church particularly, but a church; I could tell because of the people who were there, and because of the size and emptiness of the room. We were clearly in what we called the "fellowship hall" when I was growing up. (It's the multi-purpose room of a church where most food related events take place.) In my dream I was there with a hand full of kids from the elementary class that I help out with once a month. There may have been a couple adults, but I don't remember any. My dogs were with me, as was the greyhound from an internet rescue story I read yesterday. I was coaxing my dog Knuckles to be nice to the greyhound. When I realized that the interaction wasn't going to improve, I walked outside. The dogs were gone and all the kids were ahead of me in a large field that I've seen before in dreams that has a large pool in it. The kids were getting into the pool along with other classroom helpers. I wanted to swim as well but didn't have a suit. For some reason I thought it would be better to swim naked than in my clothes, so I stripped down and got in the pool. There was a hot tub in one section of the pool and most of the kids and helpers were in it. I tried to stay close to the wall of the hot tub hiding my nakedness. One little boy came up and touched my boob, and I had to swim away from the wall shooing him away. At that point I saw my sister on shore and asked her to bring me a bathing suit. A few minutes later she brought me back a tiny string bikini (that I owned about 9 years ago to lay out in). I fumbled with the suit under water all the while noticing parents of the children, who were now there to pick up their kids, watching me in disgust. I finally got the suit on just as someone was saying that if anyone needed a ride home now was the time to call your parents. I got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around me. I called my mom and said I could walk home, but would she bring me the dogs so I could give them a walk too, so I didn't have to do two walks that day. I knew the area and it was about 2 miles from my house.
About the time I made it to the street to start the walk home the scenery changed and I was no longer myself. I was Antonio Banderas with shoulder length hair and a long trench coat on, walking with my girlfriend into a huge mansion. The mansion was very dark and full of fancy wood paneling and large decor. I was explaining to her that I had agreed to do the painting for her father. (Her father didn't really like me, but doing the painting was a bribe of sorts to smooth things over between us, since I wanted to marry his daughter.) My eye went directly to a large painting on the wall behind me to my left of a "Niagara Falls" type close-up painting, that was lava instead of water. I kept looking to the left as we walked down an open hallway, into each alcove along the way. Each section had more paintings, each in a series that had to do with the lava one. They were all dark, made of browns, reds, and blacks, and each had an element of a puzzle in them. At first, the puzzle pieces were not the main focus, but the further down the hall we got the puzzle grew and became the main subject of the painting. My painting was going to be a part of this series and I wasn't sure exactly how. My girlfriend's father's footsteps could be heard in the distance in front of us and to our right, we quickly ducked into one of the alcoves on our left and waited for a stairway to appear. The stairs had been a part of the wall beneath the chair rail molding, but as we watched they stretched out from the wall to form an actual staircase. I started to step on them while they were still "doll size", but quickly realized that they were going to grow more. I stepped off a little embarrassed, and waited for a few seconds longer as even the top half of the wall protruded out and the stairs had plenty of room to go up and behind the section of wall. Right as we got on the stairs my alarm went off and I had to wake up; which was very disappointing.

So... what does it mean?
Well, I can tell you where the elements came from...
The greyhound, as I mentioned was from a story I read yesterday. (Very touching about a rescued greyhound, who in turn helped with nurturing other rescued animals.)
The church kids were there most likely from me thinking this past Sunday that I had to help out, when really my Sunday is two Sundays away.
The smallness of the bikini is coming from me trying to get to the same size I was 9 years ago before we go to Hawaii in a few months.
Antonio Banderas is on my mind from a conversation I had with my friend Saturday morning while her daughter was watching Shrek the Third, about Puss-in-Boots having his own movie, and me questioning if that could be any good.
Niagra Falls imagery comes from my husband's trip to Toronto this coming weekend. And I imagine that the puzzle pieces in all the dark paintings are about me pieces together the dark events on the prophetic calendar.

Being naked and ashamed is a common theme in dreams usually about not being prepared, or possibly exposing vulnerable parts of yourself.
My pool dreams typically are about cleansing or refreshing. It's interesting that I was ashamed at the same time as being cleansed... but I guess that is how it goes sometimes. It makes me think of the prayer I received this past Sunday.
I knew God wanted me to go up and get prayer for my 12 year anniversary of marriage. So I went to a couple that I admire and asked them to pray over me. I had to tell them a little of our "ugliness" so that they knew where I was coming from. Even in my vague explanation their prayer was so targeted it was as if I had divulged everything. That took place in our multi-purpose room BTW.
I have known for a while now that I have a part to play in teaching about prophetic events in today's world. Be it through paintings, or fashion, or words. I feel prepared, but not talented enough... which is generally how I view Antonio Banderas. I think that the grandness of the mansion that the paintings were in speaks of how great and overwhelming of a task I consider this undertaking.
The stairway was hopefully a good thing... but I guess I may never know that. (It did lead up. :-) )

"A Swell Space" and "He's Driving Again"

Two dreams last night.
One was with my Swell Sisters (my art society). We were in a very cool house with very large and open rooms; completely furnished in a nice way, with nothing lacking.
We were working on an art project that involved beads and old jewelry. One sister (Alyson) was looking for all the pearls, because her piece was going to be made of pearls. (I had just been thinking of pearls at my mom's house this weekend because of her strand hanging near the mirror.) (Pearls, as you know are symbolic of long suffering, and are also not to be shared with "pigs". :-))
We all handed Alyson our pearls... some small some normal "pearl size". We worked on our projects and I looked around the room taking in all the features.
Then Michael Gorman showed up to tell us our time was over and we had to clean up. (Michael is another local artist who hosts life drawing sessions that some of us have been to.) In the dream he was leasing the space to us. It was his place. It wasn't bad that we were having to clean up or anything, and he was a very gracious land lord. We mentioned being back soon, and that was the end of the dream.

The next dream began with my son driving again. (Perhaps I'm thinking of this because of how he doesn't like my daughter's driving now that she is old enough.)(Or it's just another dream about him running the show.) He was driving with my dad and I in the car and we were heading for his class. The class was hard to find and we had to go up a side of a mountain and then back down again through an Italian looking village. He was taking the corners too fast and I was trying to get him to slow down. Some how my dad was the one in charge of our directions and the fact that we were running late. We finally parked on the side of a steep road aiming down on a curve. We got out and climbed down the hill about 100 feet to a small building that was tucked in the side of the mountain. I opened the door to let my son in. The class was full of kids and I noticed on the clock that we were 23 minutes late. I apologized to his teacher (played by his real teacher), and my dad and I went to wait outside at a cafe table in front of the room. There were two old Italian men sitting at the table next to us and they had small wooden dolls with them.
The dolls were more like Lego or Play Mobile people than what you may think of as a wooden doll. They had a flesh toned block of wood for the body that was carved to resemble a flattened over weight bowling pin about the size of your palm. There were hair pieces and other things that you could attach to the bodies. One could have blonde braids, and another a brunette bubble-flip. Then there were little hats that fit in a divot on the back of the hair. I dressed one to look like a candy striper nurse lady, and another more like a pilgrim. Then one of the old men held a man doll that he put some crazy wooden hair on and lit on fire. The doll did not burn up, instead the flames became part of his paint job and kept flickering. Even the doll's face (which on all the others was blank) started moving and turning evil.
I grabbed my dad and said, "let's get out of here". Then I woke up.

Don't let the 11 year old Drive.

In last night's dream I was driving a white car... maybe the one I had 12 years ago and I pulled up to a loading zone that reminded me of a car port at a Vegas hotel; tons of cars and taxis. I could see my mom and my sister inside checking out and grabbing baggage. We motioned for them to come over. (I was with my family.)
They got in and as we pulled away we were in a large bus. It was now only my mom and I, and my son, and the driver.
Somehow my son took over driving (He's only 11)and he was doing very well. My mom and I were moving all around the bus not concerned with safety at all. We were not paying attention to what my son was doing, just talking and having a good time.
Then it occurred to me to go check on him and I walked up to the front and just watched his driving for a moment. I saw a bicyclist in front of him and then watched in horror as he drove right over him. Again I saw more people on bikes and some pedestrians just walking down the middle of the street oblivious to the large bus behind them, and he ran over them as well. It wasn't bloody or gory or anything, It was more like a video game where each person you run over just disappears under you without so much as a hick-up. I yelled for my son to watch out and not to hit people, but he didn't seem to care about anything I was saying. Then he totally went off the road and started going over trees and other obstacles as if they were nothing. It was just like his video game that when you run into a bush it's like it's not there, and then reappears after you're over it.
I woke up (this was about 5:00) in disbelief; wondering if there was any meaning to the dream, or if I had just seen too many video games lately. If there is a meaning, it's probably, "don't let an 11 year old run the show... his brain is too full of video games."

Nursery News

Last night's dream woke me up with a start this morning.
I can't remember the first half of it, though I know it was a long one from the fuzzy imagery that remained.
The last part however, I remember vividly.
I was helping at a nursery that was in a two story house. There were three other workers aside from myself, all female. We had a hand full of infants and a few toddlers. The workers were speaking in broken sentences mixed with baby sign-language. At first I didn't understand why they were not speaking the whole sentence, but then I watched the head chick and saw that she was acting out things and really only using the words that were important to the idea she was trying to convey. The head lady started going up stairs and I picked up a little Chinese girl. She was around 6 mos old and as I picked her up I felt that there was fat on the back of her head. It was an odd thing to notice, but that and her round face, and body swaddled in a white blanket were the things that stood out to me.
I put her down on a mat on the floor laying face up and then I turned to see breaking news on the TV to my right. The news was of a plane crash. My entire vision went completely to the screen. The picture was of a large cartoon statue of a guy in a baseball cap. The announcer said, "This is all the footage we have from the tragedy that just occurred in Florida." He mentioned Joe Maloof as the owner of the team who's stadium had been crashed into,(and who's image the cartoon figure was). I also saw my son's principle in the footage.
When the camera showing the cartoon figure stopped they cut to another camera that showed a large marching band dressed in sky blue and white leaping from the top of the stadium to their death. They were all looking up and behind them and screaming as they jumped. Another camera showed another area that looked more like an enormous mall with ladies with bags and other random people jumping off of glass partial walls and past escalators and fountains and other "mall fixtures". Everybody was running like chickens with their heads cut off and jumping off of walls. The plane they mentioned was a Pan Am flight (which of course went under in the early 90's).

What do you make of that?
Well... I can see some of my yesterday popping through...
I was talking with Kelly yesterday about adoption and the sad state of unwanted Chinese baby girls. That explains the baby, though not the fat on the back of her head.
I was also reading a book last night (while my son was at drum lessons) about WWII. The book is Noah Hutching's autobiography, and I just happen to be in the part of the book about his experience at the war and fighting the Japanese.
This could be why I was dreaming of a plane coming down... though I hadn't got to any planes crashing til my reading this morning. Plus, those were fighter planes, not passenger planes, and not Pan-Am, and not in Florida, and nothing to do with sports or any Maloof family member.
That's one reason I wanted to write about it this morning... I have no idea why I dreamed it. Nothing in my world relates.
So... that's it. I guess I'll think on it some more, but otherwise, I'll just wait and see if something pops up.

Laundry and Teeth

Last night's dream stared me and my mom.
I was doing laundry... putting clothes in a very deep washing machine. Then I went to my mom's room and was looking for clothes to pack to go to summer camp. She opened a lower drawer for me and I started digging through it. I pulled out one shirt that I thought was something I wanted, then as I unfolded it, it became my son's Perry the Platypus T-shirt. Again I reached in the drawer and pulled out an article of clothing that ended up being my son's underwear. I pulled out one more thing of my son's and complained to my mom that these things aren't mine, they are his.

That was the extent of the dream.
As for interpretation... With me clothing dreams have to do with my weight and what track I'm on concerning my body. This specific dream equates me with my son. I started a diet this week... the same diet that I did this summer while my son was at a weight loss summer camp. I am mentally preparing myself for the journey ahead. It was so much easier when no kids were home this summer, but I won't have that this summer, so I'm going ahead and doing it now. The deep washing machine tells me that there is a lot of "cleansing" to do, and the lower drawer tells me that I'm at the bottom of this thing.

Saturday night I had another interesting dream. The night itself was interesting because I was dog sitting three dogs that were not mine. Two of them are chiweenie puppies, the same age as my Lhasa apso puppy. Very "needy" pups. Because I am such a push over I slept with all three of the other dogs and my own puppy. First on the couch, then up in the guest room. Every time I would move they would all wake up and re-arrange themselves. It was a long night to say the least!
Anyway I think the dream spoke of my situation as well as me being a push-over in general, and my indecision... or more pointedly, my inability to stick to decisions... to stand up to others, or even dogs for that matter.

The dream started with my sister and I walking to a camp site. (My sister, though I have no right to blame her any further, is the root of where I got my "door mat" status. She's a year older than me and was my boss and my mouth piece all through childhood.) We got to the area that we thought should be camp and there was a parking garage. We went up some cement stairs that were enclosed just like in a normal parking garage. As we looked we started to hear voices. It was my dad along with the rest of the youth group for camp. (My dad was a youth pastor for much of my childhood.) We scurried back down the stairs to meet them. There was a discussion that I didn't hear and my sister came to me and said, "they don't have room for everyone in the nice cabins. You and I should take one of the bad ones."
Well, I didn't want to take a bad one, but I didn't say anything. Then June (a lady from my church who is famous for her hugs) came up to me and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You don't deserve a bad room, you should have a nice one."
I looked at my dad who was talking to the group and noticed that his teeth were brown and that they were fanned out on the top row like the old cartoon drawings of hillbillies. I saw that he had a cup of coffee in his hand. "You should rinse your mouth ofter you drink coffee Dad," I said. (Our dentist just told my daughter the same thing about soda last week... that's where that's from.) Then out of nowhere my grandmother (Dad's mom) appears and walks up to my dad and pulls out one of his teeth. The tooth she pulled came from the canine area, but it looked like a molar. My dad protested and then he pulled out his entire top row of teeth all at once on a metal grid. The teeth were large and each wrapped with metal that strung them all together. He was pointing out the spot that the one she had pulled came from, and arguing with her. Then I woke up.

As I said, I think that night, feeling very "trampled on", both figuratively, and literally, this dream speaks to being pushed around and being indecisive. My dad is the same way. Also, loosing teeth in dreams usually has to do with not being about to deal with things. (lost Incisors = indecision, lost molars = inability to "chew on things") That's John Paul Jackson's theory, not mine... But it seems to hold true in my dreams. Perhaps the image of my dad with terrible teeth is a symbolic warning of sorts to what lies ahead of me if I don't get this thing under control.