"Wake up Call"

I thought God used an amusing way to wake me up this morning.
I woke up on time, but went back to sleep. (I have a bit of a head cold and had taken Nyquil last night.)

So back to sleep... I was dreamin... Don't even remember the dream... but at the very end, I got in my car (my little one; which is important because in the big one, the lights come on automatically, and the little car has manual lights,)
... and started driving. The housing area I drove through first was well lit, but when I got on a long stretch of highway it was black. I just assumed, "I'm fading back to sleep". Then a semi came out of nowhere with its big lights and flashed them at me signaling me to turn on my lights.

I woke up immediately.
and I do believe that was the whole point.

(If I wanna read into it, I could say... the car I was driving is what I consider my daughter's car. She seems to be 'driving without her lights on' these days. :-)

"Women"

I had two dreams that I remember last night.

The first, I was at my Pastor's house in the middle of a women's gathering. It didn't really look like their house. It reminded me more of a house that I have dreamed of before that was the Coward's house. But I won't read anything into that. Karen, my pastor's wife, had been watching my son and I was coming to pick him up.They had been talking about going to buy a game for him at Game Stop. I said she didn't have to. She said right now was the only free time she had. "Oh, well if this is the only time I have with you. I'll take as much as I can," I said. There was a sense of her time being very crammed and precious, and I wanted to glean what I could from her. So sat beside her. My son was no longer in the picture, but I started looking around the room at the other women.  They were just there; it wasn't like they were all there to see Karen. They were there with each other. I noticed my friend Rebecca playing cards at a coffee table beside us with another friend. The I looked all around and was shocked to see people from my high school in Italy. Not close friends of mine, just random women.

"There are (counting) ten people here I know from high school!" I exclaimed overjoyed. I smiled at Karen in my moment of surprise.

In my next dream I was in an Olympic sized lap pool. I had on a blue Speedo one-piece and was about to race a bunch of kids and teens. My daughter's boyfriend's mom was in the pool with me and talking to me. I said I needed goggles and a hair cap. She said that I'd be a good racer after I loose my weight. I looked at the line up and could see myself in it. I could see myself swimming very fast. I would be able to beat most of the kids.

...and that was the end of that.

Obviously, my weight is still weighing heavy on me (no pun intended). I guess going to bed right after talking to my daughter about her boyfriend made me think of his mom.

I'm not so sure about the Pastor Karen dream. Again, I'd like to think that people being in her house means that they are/will be "saved" (for lack of a better word). Who knows.  And what did my son and a game have to do with anything?

"Chasms"

I forgot to post yesterday.

The dream was about my husband and I on a cruise ship.

There was a swimming "pool" in the middle of the ship that was actually a rectangular cut-out in the boat that opened up to the ocean water. I was walking around the "pool" in a robe/blanket and fell in. I was very close to the ladder, so it didn't take long to get out, but I was scared of the depth of the water and possible sharks.

When I got out I went straight to my room which was at the top right corner of the pool around a corner and up a few steps.

I stripped and followed my husband into the bathroom. We were both naked and I was embarrassed of my size. (My husband has recently lost 40+ pounds, and I have stayed put... so now we are within 5 pounds of each other.)

This past night's dream should have been memorable. However, a minute after I woke up I only remembered one part...  and here it is...

I was over a huge chasm in space.  I was standing on the edge of an asteroid and had to get across to another one that was like a block away. There were two smaller rocks floating below. They were gray and looked like lava rock. I jumped from one ledge and touched one of the lower rocks. It was just big enough for one foot, but the minute you touched it, you bounced/floated up and over to the next rock. (It was very video game-esk). I should have been jumping much higher, but with each jump the rocks kept going lower and lower. I went from 10 feet below the two asteroid ledges to 20ft, and it was becoming more and more obvious that I was not going to make it across.

That's all I can remember though I know the whole dream was pretty trippy.

It's a bit interesting that both dreams have a chasm of sorts. One of the ocean and one of space. I was fearful of both and trying to get out of both. One I fell in by accident, and One I jumped in because I thought I saw a clear way across.  One I got out of safely, the other I never got out of.

"notes, prayers and conferences"

Last night was like dream central.

But, I only remember the last one.

I was at my best friend from childhood's house in a room with her mom and siblings. We were all talking, then Vanessa (my BF) pulled me into her room to look through some old notes. Her little sister Anne came in with some drawings she had done for me. (Anne is now totally grown up, but in my dream she was very little like I remember her.) I wanted to look at our notes, but Anne kept putting crayon pictures under my nose. There was a brass bed and white vanity in the room, all very girly.

Then I walked outside and on to a crowded Italian street. (We lived in Italy when I was a teenager. Vanessa lived there with me. We were both Air Force brats.) Vanessa was no longer part of the dream but other people from high school were popping up all over. I was headed up a set of stairs (ala Venice) and there were a few old friends heading down. I turned to follow them.

My ex-boyfriend Shane was walking with the group, along with his friends Kevin and Jay. Shane started to pray. I listened very intently (they didn't know I could hear). I was overjoyed at the sincerity of his prayer. Then Kevin prayed, his was a little less, but satisfied me none-the-less.  Then Jay prayed and made a big joke of it; saying, "God, did you see the bunch of $#&*$% nerds up there..." then faded into a laugh. Shane prayed again, and I continued following them into a sanctuary. Shane's sister was there, along with many many other familiar faces, and some non familiar faces.

I tried to find a seat, but no one would let me sit near them. I turned, and my husband was with me, so I took his hand and headed for the front. Towards the end I slid down the aisle on my butt and said, "weee". He was embarrassed.

We sat down and realized that the event was a John Bevere marriage conference.

The big screen came on and played a promo for what we were about to see. The advertisement started with a very boring lecture snapshot and a snapshot of an audience member yawning. Then it cut to John Bevere speaking in his overly zealous way, bouncing around stage. The voice-over said something to the effect of "you won't be bored here". 

Then to my right I saw one of John's traveling companions talking to the lady seated by her. The two women were slightly up in the tiered seating. She said, "well usually you won't be bored. I don't know what went wrong at our last conference; there wasn't much response."

 ...I woke up questioning the validity of the conference.

Perhaps the John Bevere part was suppose to remind me to take some DVDs to my pastor's wife today. I forgot anyway.

I'm hoping that Shane praying sincerely was a window into reality. I've been waiting for decades for him to take God seriously. Not to say that he doesn't in a small way, but not in a "change your life" kind of way.

"Alice in Wonderland"

I had a wonderful dream last night... very vivid and with one name that stood out. I said it over and over this morning to remember.

I took the kids to school... came home... and can't remember.

Don't you hate it when that happens?

I do have a backup plan. I went to see Alice In Wonderland last night, and just had some thoughts on that.

People have given some bad reviews, I don't tend to listen to reviews on "artist" films.

Story lines mean nothing to me if the art is good.  Really, I didn't mind the story line. I got just as much from Alice's lesson of making her own choices and living her own life, as I did from the awesome visual trip back to my childhood imagination.

I simply adore seeing visually stimulating imagery.

I had a great time allowing myself to be as "mad" as the hatter or march hare. 

The costumes were inspiring.

When Johny Depp recited the Jabberwocky poem, my heart just swelled in my chest. 

(I loved that poem growing up. My dad even built a whole series of stories around it that he would play out on our backs at 'tuck in' time. Back stories, and those particular ones were called "ruffle-snort stories". He would use the same type of language and tell a story that was really only comprehensible because of the few English words thrown in here and there. He was an English major, and is a very good story teller.)

So... all of this to say... If you enjoy this type of blog... talking about crazy dreams and such, and you haven't seen Tim Burton's version of "Alice in Wonderland"... Go see it.

"Laundry and Frozen Dinosaurs"

In last night's dream I was at my friend Kim's house. It wasn't really her house, but it was.

(They recently moved to their third house since I've known her.) The house in the dream was a little bit of some of her houses and a little bit of the house I was in when I met her. (I've been in three houses in that time frame too.)

At first, I was outside doing laundry. There was a clothes line, and a shed that held the washing machine and dryer. The back yard was very pretty, like a country garden. (It reminded me of a friend's back yard in Alabama.) I saw a kitten playing a few yards away, and noticed that he was playing with a baby fox. (It was like The Fox and the Hound, only a cat instead of a dog.) They scampered off through the bushes by a white fence. I thought it was a little strange to see a fox and kitten playing, but I went right back to the laundry.

I was picking up piles and piles of clean clothes to take inside to fold. I kept dropping pieces and getting frustrated. (There was even a pile of men's button up shirts already on hangers.)

I got an arm load inside and sat on the floor by the TV to fold. A Shirley Temple movie was on. She was saying, "I sing good. People like my voice, but it's my face that gets me all the parts." (odd, I know.)

As I was watching her, I realized that the movies were late. They were due back at Blockbuster the day before. (For real, Blockbuster went back to charging an over-due fee, and I had 'late movies' just a few days ago. I'm switching back to netflix.) The movies that were late in real life flashed through my mind, as did some other random cartoon movie and this Shirley Temple thing I was watching.

I got up to take them to the store. I never actually went though. I ended up in the kitchen looking for a snack. I was looking through multiple leftovers when Kim came in. She pointed out a little scene in the door shelf of the freezer that Lauren (her daughter) had made. "Can you tell what they are?" she asked. "Yeah, they are dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets," I said. The scene was made of salad and shredded carrots for grass, and frozen (all crystally white) dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. 

...and that was the extent of the dream.

I'd love to sit and ponder the meaning with you, but I have to go to counseling in a few minutes, so "Ciao."

"Chorus Girls, Teeth, and Packing"

Three again last night:

One involved girl celebrities (Katie Holmes, Nancy McKeon, Madonna, and Nicole Kidman, that I can remember) dressed as chorus line girls. I was with them... dressed the part as well. There was a red rope and a line.  I was down on the floor part of the time, during some sort of emergency. Nancy McKeon was the only one talking to me, instructing me during the emergency. An army or some sort of crowd had rushed in to the square where we were.

The second dream involved my best friend from college, Ramin, examining my teeth. He had one of those mirrors that dentists use and was looking at all of my teeth. Them being in great shape somehow told him that I was being good, and that I was an OK person. I think I was in a bus.

The third dream involved packing. I was at some sort of camp and I had to go on a mini trip within the camp. My sister and I were sharing a suitcase and I had to re-pack only my things for a day trip, in a smaller suitcase. I was going through all the pockets and pulling out wads of her dirty clothes. I also went through like 6 different PJs. One had teddy bears and rainbows. One was dark blue with other tropical colors and buttons down the front with a lapel and everything. One was pastel with some other childish print made of T-shirt jersey.

The amount of PJs stood out to me. I had picked two that I wanted to take with me and was still looking through the others as if I would pick more. But then it dawned on me that I only needed one pair, for one night. I then wondered why we had so many pairs in the first place.

All I can say as to where the dreams came from is that I was shopping yesterday trying to find some PJs. (I didn't find any.) I talked to my sister yesterday... about her kids and them dressing up.

One of my teeth (that had a small veneer just at the top by the gums) chipped off a couple days ago, and has been making me think that I don't like fake crap on my teeth that may come off and cause more hours in the dentist chair. (I don't like dentist visits!)

Anyway, If I was going to get all philosophical about it, I'd mention that I've been wondering about Ramin and his faith. If he is dealing with his Muslim roots, if he's gotten further in or out of that... and also if he has been thinking further about our differences or if he still thinks of me as a good person. (He's liberal, I'm conservative. He's Muslim, I'm Christian. He's gay, I'm straight.... The list goes on. But he is in my top 3 favorite people in the whole world.) I haven't spoken to him in almost a year. (minus via computer.)

I could also go philosophical with the suitcases and mention that my counselor (who I go see tomorrow) told me to journal and to think of myself as Saul hiding in the luggage; I have been called to great things, but I'm stuck in the baggage. When I go through my history and my "baggage" it often brings up my sister and all that her domination over me contributed to my "issues". I need to take out her "dirty clothes" so to speak, and pack my own suitcase; not giving her any more power. She has no power over me anymore; she doesn't even want it. That was literally years and years ago. But my "mold" has not been broken.